Dear Daisy,
School’s back. Am I ready for term three? No. Do I miss the holidays? Yes. Do I miss them even though I did nothing? Yes. I miss having the free time. I took on so many jobs and managed to make a substantial amount of money. Now it’s back to about three jobs a week. Apparently, I shouldn’t call them jobs though. Zinnia went on this whole ted talk about it. Though, do you know what’s crazy? High school is nearly over since we only get four weeks of term four. I know I’m technically an adult but it really doesn’t feel like it. It’s daunting thinking about what being an adult will actually mean for me. Even though Mom isn’t around much I’ve always known she’s always going to be at home at some point. But when I move out she won’t and it’s just intimidating for me to think about.
But I would rather live in denial at this point. For now, I will.
I keep thinking back to the game night. How Dahlia seemed so close or touchy feeling with Daffi. She didn’t even do that when we were dating! I feel stupid. I shouldn’t care as much as I do. After we broke up we just didn’t see each other as much at school but now it feels like she’s everywhere. Somehow. We only share one class! She has her own friends too. But she’s always with Iris. So I didn’t really talk to him today. Though I don’t want to fuck up his friendship with Dahlia just because we dated. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this either. Whenever I bring Dahlia up with Daffi he shuts me down.
Sometimes I think life would be easier if you stayed alive and it was just the two of us.
Love,
Kai
I recorded myself editing this again. A bit chaotic. I'm hearing it back and i sound mad.
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