"God Rickey, you have to tell me how you survive on this crap" Jason whined as he took a gulp of blood from his glass.
I won't lie we were only a two weeks in and it was not going that great.
"Well, most of us don't have such grand choice on where and who we get our blood from, I am sure you will be fine" Rickey rolled his eyes downing his quickly.
"I know I said you guys should bond a bit more, but I didn't think it would be over this" I couldn't help but chuckle.
They both shot a look over at me and I held up my hands as a truce.
"Beggars can't be choosers love"
"Got a point, I mean it's not like I have any idea what it's like working for my brother. . . I stay as far away from that mess as I can"
Jason shook his head leaning on the counter top on his elbows.
Relaxing in the kitchen had been our new fun way of hanging out getting used to our new diet.
"Wait- are you the one he tried calling that night he was shot?" Rickey placed down his glass looking over at Jason.
"I mean- probably he's called me a couple of time things have been messy so you would have to be a tad more specific"
"Ouch, come on not once but twice?" Rickey flinched.
"Oh it was definitely about five times" Jason admitted.
"Besides, he's my big brother you being one of those I'm sure you'd get it"
Rickey let out a small laugh.
"I mean I do- however I would hope that if I called upon my little brother he would aid me in whatever it was"
"Speaking of aiding people- when can I aid you both out of this house as big as it may be sure you wanna get out" Rickey asked as he looked around a bit.
"Ask this one since she's the one who is making me do this awful trial" Jason grumbled.
"Yeah why are you guys doing this anyway?" Rickey moved his glass around looking at me for an answer.
Shit.
"I mean it just seems a little unreasonable sometimes- I mean we should be able to do the same as everyone else right?"
We probably should have thought of a reason so we didn't have to run the chance of him hearing about some rumors.
I heard Jason whisper in my thoughts.
"So like- do you guys still umm feed from each other or?"
"If you're trying to see if you can taste her blood or something of the sort the answer is certainly no at this time." Jason said firmly.
"Just a question" he tapped the glass.
"Come on Jason- can you blame the guy for trying? ease up bro"
Suddenly Jarred's voice filled the room as he walked through the kitchen opening the fridge.
My nostrils were suddenly filled with a heavy dose of cologne that stung my nose from being so fresh the scent of blood faded beneath it and my nose twitched at the sudden tense smell.
"If you're here to tell me I have to do runs for you right now. . ." Rickey grumbled.
Jarred grabbed a pitcher of blood from the fridge pouring himself a glass of the cool crimson liquid before shaking his head.
"Nah, I had Seth take care of it all- you guys staying in again? What happened to not being hermits?"
"Already been through this Jarhead they're only leaving when they get over this whole new diet thing or whatever" Rickey waved his hand.
Oh he has a nickname for him when he's mad? Now that's funny.
"Is it that bad for you guys? I mean come on you're supposed to be better at like- everything I mean you guys starved yourself practically for science" Jarred shrugged taking a sip f his drink.
"Rub it in a little more Jarred, we're doing not too bad it's just- you know"
Jarred furrowed his brow shaking his head.
"No, I don't that's why I'm asking"
"Sei fortunato che abbiamo compagnia o ti metterei in imbarazzo"
(You're lucky we have company or I'd be embarrassing you)
Jarred grinned at his brother.
Jason let out a low growl glaring before he spoke.
"Non oseresti. . ."
(You wouldn't dare)
"It's great when you're the only one who doesn't know what's being said" Rickey broke their glares as they both gave in and cracked a smile.
"Sorry, habit" Jason cleared his throat.
"I'm not, but when am I ever?" Jarred let out a laugh.
Later that night
Ben looked so closely at Jason's eyes as if he were inspecting every speck of color. Ben didn't dare try to get that close to mine, but Ben was fascinated by how Jason's had changed from switching to less specific blood.
"Ben, I know you're fascinated and all- and you find it interesting can you give me some breathing room? you're very close." Jason grumbled.
"Why? Are you tempted? That's odd you've never said such a thing to me I-"
Jason scrunched his nose and stepped back from Ben.
"Not at all, that's slightly offensive you know, it's just weird and personal and of course our eyes change why do you think everyone's so different"
Ben's face curled up seeming stumped.
"I mean I know somewhat it's based off of your human eyes- I figured it might be from age"
Jason shook his head.
"Legend had it, it was somewhat of a way to tell how healthy you were kind of like how a humans organs fail when they are sick"
"You and Luna are different though so that couldn't be true about you two right?"
Jason let out a low chuckle.
"You've seen this woman bleed to death, be starved from a blood illness- what do you think?"
Ben shrugged.
"Suppose you're right, so how bad is it?" he sat back down in the big leather chair.
"She's doing peachy, I on the other hand will not go into detail but there are definitely some moments I miss our old ways" he winked at me.
I shrugged.
"What can I say it's like an on and off switch for me, how long are we doing this for though?"
I felt bad he was struggling so much, there were times where we would be in bed and he'd just press his lips against various spots on me he knew there would be a good vein and just hover over them for a while. At the beginning I thought it was a test, but I then started to noticed he seemed to have a harder and harder time pulling away. Even though I may not have told him to stop or pull away you could just tell and feel the tense aura he had.
Ben put his hand underneath his chin and thought for a moment.
"I figured a couple months or so? Do you think you can do that?" Ben asked looking at Jason now.
Jason raised his eyebrow.
"Is that a challenge?"
Ben shook his head.
"I would never, trust me I've fought you enough to know" Ben smiled at Jason.
"Yet here we are doing an experiment" Jason commented.
Ben looked down sheepishly.
To be honest, I really didn't find it the worst thing, and if it would somehow help Jason then I was more than willing to do this. After all I even knew how long I'd last without blood period, I knew my limits pretty well.
"You know he meant no harm. . .don't be rude"
I could tell the way his mouth was fighting the way to move he was trying to mind his tongue.
"My wife is right, I am sorry"
"No, no you're right. . . I said that wrong, I umm- I have a date night so I should probably get going- our usual time and day?" Ben tensed up as he shifted in his chair.
I nodded and smiled.
"Of course. . . call us if you need anything"
I took Jason's hand in mine tugging on it as I turned to go towards the door.
He quickly followed taking the hint as we stepped out of the study and he shut the door behind him.
I could hear a very low throaty growl rumble through his chest the farther we went from the room.
It was very odd for him to act in such a manner, but I suppose with everything going on it was fair. . . between the stress of the new diet, Ben's pestering of questions and staring into his eyeballs like a painting in a museum let alone his daily tasks I wasn't too offended.
As we made our way to our office the growls had silenced from him as he shut the door pressing his back against it pulling me to him.
"I can't stand him sometimes I hope you know" he closed his eyes tightly as he almost seemed to be wincing in pain.
"Jason. . . are you okay?" I whispered against his jaw looking up at him.
I could feel his breath against my nose as I watched him carefully.
"He thinks everything is so easy yet most things he struggles with I almost feel as if he's only doing this to see if we struggle with anything" he admitted.
He looked down into his eyes and I could see the small specs of colors appear almost like a flame mixed with their normal color.
"I think you're looking too deep into this. . . I really think you need to just relax it'll be alright we've done things much harder"
I brushed my lips against his as I whispered against them closing my eyes.
I hated seeing him so worked up, as much as I knew it was okay for him to feel this way it didn't make it hurt any less.
As I pulled away my lips he quickly pressed his against mine steeling a feverish kiss.
"Make this hunger go away. . ." he mumbled against my lips.
I reached my hand to the back of his head running my hands through his dark hair. I couldn't understand why he was having such a hard time, sure it wasn't as filling as our normal but it really wasn't that bad for me. I opened my eyes to stare into the darkened orbs in front of me.
"This really isn't the place. . . and knowing our luck not at all the time" I whispered back to him.
Just as my words ended his arms lifted me up to around his waist turning us around so my back was against the door as his arm reached and I heard the door lock.
"Stay with me? as much as I practically droll over your scent right now I want nothing more than to just feel you against me and make me forget" he grazed his canines against my shoulders making me shiver.
I was known for trying to be a bad influence at times but this was very important.
I looked down at him putting my finger under his chin lifting his head up.
"As long as you keep your teeth to yourself, if you fail- I fail." I spoke quietly.
"Then for once I suppose. . . I win in some way" he smiled at me before pecking my lips.
"You always win, and I win every day you're beside me" I touched his cheek smiling back.
A few week Later
I figured a house visit to Zadicus may be risky, but I had to stay in his good graces. Even if it was a tedious task on it's worst days, but somewhat enjoyable on it's best days. As I pulled into the driveway I noticed most of the lights were on in the house which for some reason seemed odd to me- I mean being that we can see pretty well without it. It was super early in the morning and the sun was just rising, I wasn't sure if he'd be up but assuming by the lack of cars and the lights being all on assumed he had to be. Still have yet to even understand how he could sleep it was weird for me to just plan these visits. Sure I could have called, texted Hell even used our mind link.
I parked my car and got out shutting the door and walked my way up the small steps and gently knocked on the door. The air was breezing this morning but it was fairly quiet still and maybe I wasn't used to people being so slow, but it seemed odd to me. I knocked again a little louder. I didn't really like knocking so loud since our hearing was so well it seemed so silly.
A few moments had passed and the door was finally yanked open to reveal a freshly showered Zadicus with a damp towel in his hand. He gave me a small smile with a sleepy looking gaze.
"Good morning Ms. Luna" his voice sounded more hoarse than normal his light brown hair seemed much darker when it was wet.
Must be nice to be able to sleep.
"Buongiorno, did you just umm- wake up?"
He stepped back away from the door allowing me inside, least he had clothes on, that would have been a little weird.
"Mhm, about fifteen minutes ago, something woke me what about-right. . . you don't"
I made an awkward smile as I stepped through the door.
"Actually that was something wanted to talk to you about- can you. . . help me fill in the blanks?"
He shut the door running the towel through his head. Giving me a confused look.
"Filling in the blanks?" he questioned.
"You once told me there was a lot to teach me. . .and you said there was things you wish you had taught me"
I looked up at him putting my hands in front of me.
I may not have liked seeming vulnerable in front of him, but I also couldn't keep being so stubborn if I wanted to know all of my abilities.
"I said after things became more. . .normal yes I would teach you a thing here or there"
This was so awkward, we didn't talk about things really outside of meetings and even with me coming over things were still so uncomfortable with us.
He sighed.
"Lets go sit in the living room I can turn on the fireplace."
He motioned me towards him as he walked to a small room.
It was so weird how some things were a more modernized version of my old house but still the bones of my house we stepped into the small stone room that had a fireplace in the middle, unlike mine this one was gas and he simple walked on and turned it on.
The smell of gas and firewood filled my nose as he turned around tossing the towel on the chair closest to him. He motioned the the green fabric chair across from him for me to sit.
"I think we should start with sleep- since well you haven't in since I don't know if I want to know how long." He sat down in his chair.
"I don't think you want me to answer that" I admitted as I took a seat.
"It's simple really, you just tell yourself to sleep"
I tried to hold in my laughter. He wasn't serious was he?
"I'm serious you know, kind of like how you turned off your healing"
I swallowed.
"I mean sure I can make my mind go blank but that's not what I remember sleeping being-"
"No, no that's not what I meant- that's different what I do is just repeat to myself to sleep and eventually I do- been told I even snore at times" he rubbed the back of his head clearly embarrassed.
The amount of calm that I was feeling off of him was just surprising as always to me.
"Now you answer me something" he taunted leaning forward a bit.
"What could you want to know?"
"Blocking me out like that- this, is it tiring? How did you do it?"
I looked at him confused.
Surely he knew, how could he not?
"I'm sure you know. . . I mean I've been doing it for so long it's pretty normal for me"
He shook his head.
"You're the only one I have it with, so it's radio silence for me"
"Oh. . . well I just focus on not thinking about you and making a wall of sorts"
"Oh, I see" you could tell he wasn't sure what to say, it wasn't something nice to find out afterall, but he did ask.
He cleared his throat.
"Other questions? Just one more for today."
"But you said-"
"I said over time" he pointed out.
"Fine. . . you've never drank from the source right?"
He shook his head.
"Just from you, otherwise no why?"
"Does it make your hunger different?"
His face seemed unsure his posture changed as he shifted.
"I really don't think I can say too much on that. . . you have more experience than I do from that I'm sure- I will tell you I had after effects when you left, but it's a little hard to tell why that is fully without more knowledge on it as a whole. . ."
"What effects?"
"Oh I felt like I was starved for weeks, pushing on to a month or longer then there was an empty feeling- it went away but it took a week or so, but it wasn't pleasant"
I opened my mouth to speak, but he quickly cut me off.
"Why are you asking? are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine it's just- it's umm it's Jason is all and I just- I just wondered and I thought we could change our diet and drink like anyone else so I just you know. . ."
"He's on you, I told you that I won't help with him."
His tone was very serious and I could almost notice his eyes darken the sun was starting to rise more making the room less dark and a shade of orange creeping into the room.
"I know. . . I'm sorry but I wanted to know since I was doing it too. . ."
"And I will help you, but only you."
I nodded.
"Wouldn't that be helping both of us?"
He huffed.
"In this case I suppose sure, but that's not what you had asked originally had I known I would have answered differently." he shifted in his chair and I could feel him start to grow agitated.
"You would have lied to me?" I questioned.
"No I wouldn't have lied but- I don't know. . ."
"Why won't you help him? Ever?"
He shook his head and when he looked back at me his eyes were not pitch black.
"You really want me to help him?"
"He makes me happy. . ."
He snorted.
"Right, that's worked well for you hasn't it? Running away from your problems-"
"Excuse me?" I interjected.
"We're very happy thank you for asking, not that it's any of your business- and yes because guess what the three of us are the fucking same so yes at times the information may be shared in times of need just as they should be" I stood up feeling my own blood start to boil.
"I didn't run from my problems, I was a child who was forced into something that was not my choice, I was just supposed to go with it, I was scared- you know what I was terrified if you want the truth"
I paused as he watched me.
"You were right, this was a bad idea, I shouldn't have been coming over. I'll see myself out" I quickly turned around starting to make my way to the door but he quickly stepped in front of me and started walking me back.
"Scared? Do you know what it's like to have your blood vibrate through your veins when I get fucking near you? Like a magnet drawing me to you your scent, your essence your blood pulling me out of my thoughts and only seeing you?" he bent down closer to my ear and my body instantly froze as if it had been frozen in ice.
"To want to taste something like I never had before, to hear the whispers saying to claim you and to bind you to me?" his breath was hot against my skin and I swallowed.
Truth is I only knew I was somewhat possibly stronger than him.
I understood somewhat of what he was saying, I mean that first night I followed and went with everything almost like a little puppy even as I questioned myself.
"I don't want to make you afraid by any means, but I also know you've felt it somewhat to" he whispered in my ear before pulling away.
I stood there still unable to say anything really.
"Don't worry I'm not trying to pry into your skull or anything I can just feel how tense you are, which makes me feel awful and gives me a pit in my stomach so."
I watched him as he looked away and headed back to sit in the chair he was sitting in.
I had done many things to upset him- hurt him even and I had never had my body feel so frozen, so tense but almost like my blood was about to burst through my veins.
"Please leave. . ." he spoke softly staring at the fire.
Yet I couldn't move for some reason, even though I wanted to. After all I was trying to get on his better side not on his bad side again and now I felt like I was going back to step one.
"I'm sorry"
He simply spoke and as he did my body almost slumped as it seemed to relax.
I didn't have time to argue so I quickly made my way out of the room and back through the front door throwing the door shut behind me and getting into my car.
I sunk into the seat sighing a deep breath.
"What the fuck just happened?" I whispered to myself.
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