I felt numb and weightless as the scent of blood and smoke lingered in my nostrils. I felt a phantom weight underneath me and I was still consumed by darkness. . . After who knows how much time had passed I thought maybe I was dead until I started hearing whispers.
I don't know if you can hear me baby, but it's going to be okay now. . .
Who's voice was that? Why couldn't I place it? Memories and thoughts seemed so vague and as quickly as they came they disappeared. Maybe I was going crazy now. . .
When I came somewhat to the void of darkness seemed to almost turn grey.
"If Jarred holds the full power but I get some- my only request is that you leave us all together. No one comes in unless I say."
I could tell now that was Rickey's voice. . . His voice was horse and something was wrong with it, but since I couldn't see I wasn't sure what it was. His voice rang in the hollow space. Suddenly it went quiet again. . . It was like that for I'm not sure how long. Was I coming back or was this my end?
After more floating or whatever I was doing in this void. I started to feel a strange tingling sensation throughout my body and my eyes snapped open to be looking up at the ceiling proving me wrong.
I grabbed my chest taking several rapid breaths.
"Luna!"
Rickey's arms were suddenly wrapped around me as he brought me to his chest as I continued to steady my breathing.
The light hurt my eyes and I squinted opening my mouth to talk, but my mouth felt like chalk.
"Where's Zadicus?" I rasped out.
"He's locked up-"
"Where's. . . where's Jason? is he awake?" I cut him off as I closed my eyes for a minute to stop the room from suddenly spinning around me.
I was alive. . . Unsure as to how for once. I didn't know how long I had been out or what Jason's state was compared to mine, but I had to find out. I breathed in Rickey's mryth scent trying to calm my breathing and head for a moment.
"He's- he's downstairs in the throne room, but Luna listen-"
I separated myself from him and staggered myself out of the room. My legs felt shaky and so fragile like they weren't sure how to walk anymore. With some effort and struggling I had managed to make it out of the room and all the way down to the throne room. Luckily not running into anyone.
It smelled awful down here, I know everyone had better priorities, but cleaning still should have been a priority from whatever this was.
"Jason why would you come all the way down here?" I pushed my whole weight against the door pushing it open. Which was odd that I had to use such force in general. . .
Why was I so weak?
The smell got worse and I crinkled my nose in disgust, god it smell like something had died. I looked around the room and I noticed a new addition to it. There was a glass case. I dropped to my knees when I saw what was in the case.
The scent wasn't coming just from anything dead or decaying. . . it was coming from what was left of Jason's corpse. I clenched my shirt feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces as I felt tears stream down my face as they burned my eyes. I could barely look at him, my brain refused to let me. The foul stench and the look of the sludge filling the case was enough to scare me and make me almost vomit.
"Luna, Love we need to talk. . ." Rickey's soft voice came from behind me.
I hiccupped some tears but that's all I could manage. I think he knew because he slowly made his way to me as he got onto his knees beside me.
"You were out for a while. . . I think we should head upstairs and get you some blood okay?"
I simply nodded and he scooped me up into his arms and I forced myself to look over his shoulder back at the glass case before burying my face in his shoulder muffling my sobs. I felt Rickey sit down as he held me in his lap close to him and I looked around noticing now that we were back in his room.
"Do you just want some of mine?. . . " he asked softly and brushed some hair from my face.
I nodded slowly and he offered me his arm. I stared at it for a moment. I felt so empty, I still felt really strange even though I was- or trying to walk around.
"Take your time. . ." he rubbed my back and I finally leaned forward sinking my teeth into his arm.
I felt a familiar tingling feeling when the warm liquid hit my lips and I smiled against his arm as it coated my tongue. My eyes closed and I was flooded with the memories of when we made our blood bond. Being that I could die and the blood promise was broken I had no idea what'd that mean for me. . . My body had felt like it was convulsing as I awoke. Now I remembered that as I was- I assume dying repeatedly my memories started flooding back. Hazy and not quiet clear yet, but they were there. . .
My eyes fluttered open as I let go of his arm.
"Where's Jarred?" I looked at Rickey's eyes.
I finally was able to take in what he looked like now. . . . His eyes were pretty dark red bleeding in his normally ocean blue like eyes. . . like a blood in water sort of look. He looked torn, I could tell he was both a mixture of happy and sad. Hell I could feel it, I didn't have to guess anymore. . .
"He's uh, he's filling in for Jason and you. . . something about a living will rule?"
We just stared at each other for a while. Saying nothing. Our thoughts were both quiet as we soaked in each other's presence. I could only assume what he had gone through.
"I think you should talk to Alexander. . ." he finally spoke breaking our silence.
I sqeezed my fist that I realize was actually my hand now holding Rickey's. I only nodded.
"Alexander! Joshua!"
I covered my ears from the loud noise and whined in pain.
I should have been better now, drinking blood after dying always made things back to normal. The door was quickly thrown open causing another loud noise as it hit the wall and I put my hands tighter against my head.
"Oh thank god I did hear you Luna!"
Alexander ran to me and took me in and embrace and I jumped from the sudden contact.
"Alexander I really think we need to be more careful right now. . ." Joshua's soft voice said and Alexander quickly withdrew himself.
"Thank god you're okay. . . I was so worried after the first week had passed-"
I blinked. Did I hear him right? A week?
"What are you talking about?"
"Luna you've been out for two weeks . . ." Alexander responded slowly and I felt Rickey grip me tighter.
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"I came home I. . . I"
The memories were swirling together again and it was hard to place them in order for some reason.
"I killed Ben, and I smelled smoke then I think I blacked out" I swallowed.
"Yeah well. . . Ben is dead, but. . ." Alexander took a deep breath.
"Kaiden is alive and in a holding area with Zadicus."
My eyes grew as I looked at Alexander's serious eyes looking for any sort of sign he was joking or maybe he meant something different.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Luna I don't know how much information you should take in right now. . ." he admitted suddenly looking concerned.
"I want to see them."
I straightened myself.
"Luna I thin-"
"That's an order not a request." I growled and Alexander looked away.
"I'll take her, you need to deal with other matters."
Joshua stepped forward offering his hand to me.
I went to stand, but Rickey's grip had tightened and I looked down at him, his eyes looked scared as if he wanted to never let me go again. . . I couldn't blame him, I couldn't even understand the pain he must've gone through seeing me like that for so long, this wasn't like the last time. . . I also had told him to hide and not come out and I died. . .
"I promise I will keep her safe and return her to you."
Joshua spoke.
Rickey's arms just dropped a bit but he didn't look away from me as I stepped onto the floor.. I took Joshua's hand as I steadied myself and straightened my shoulders once again wincing in pain. I guess it would be too easy after a two week nap that I'd feel good.
"You okay?"
I nodded.
"Luna?" Rickey called out.
"Yes?"
"I love you. . ."
I smiled letting o of Joshua's hand and put Rickey's face in my hands looking down at him.
"I love you too, this time I promise I'll be back. . ."
He nodded stroking my hand for a minute before I slipped away and made my way to Joshua at the door. As we walked our way to one of the sublevels I could tell Joshua knew I was off because he kept watching me as if I were about to stumble over. He didn't dare ask me how I was right now. He knew I would only snap at him for it. I wasn't known for being cruel to my guards, but weakness wasn't something I really showed even my top three guards. With maybe the exception of Alexander. There was the sound of rattling chains and some deep growls coming from the door at the end of the hall. Sudden splashes of water falling quickly after. I was started to become quickly unsettled by what was going on down here. . .
Joshua put in the code to the large steel doors and then opened. The smell of water and blood filled my nose as well as some other unpleasant smells and my nose twitched as I walked into the dim lit room. I looked down when I noticed that I was in a few inches of water.
"So the Queen has finally woken up. . . what do I owe the pleasure?"
I looked around the room as I heard Kaiden's sudden deep voice, but something was different about it. . .
I blinked when I was finally met by the sight.
Kaiden was in his full true form. . . He was easily twenty or so feet tall, deep red scales mixed with some flecks of black. His snout was long and not quite as pointy as I would have thought, his eyes were a glowing yellow. His white horns that pultruded from his head were long as sharp, but slightly curled at the end.
"They told me that you survived but. . ." I finally spoke after I stared at his magnificent features.
"You didn't imagine they meant like this did you?" he huffed his nostrils flaring smoke.
No wonder his voice sounded so large now. As I looked across from him I had noticed a familiar form.
Zadicus. A much more rough looking version, his head was hanging down as if he were unconscious and he was slouched on his knees being held up by chains.
"He's asleep still. . ." Joshua whispered as if he could hear my thoughts.
"Joshua how did you. . . how did Kaiden . . ."
"Oh you mean when you killed Ben?" Kaiden answered instead his nostrils flaring with clear anger.
"Yes."
I straightened myself.
"You tried to kill us, all because your pathetic plan to use us failed in how you wanted it- our promise didn't include Ben, only me!"
His voice roared and his giant tail slammed onto the ground splashing the water.
"The blood promise should have killed him- so I figured I gave him a better death, Jason is dead because of you! I didn't know the other half! I will admit it was selfish what I did Kaiden but I was blinded, beyond what I can even explain"
"He did nothing to you!" he countered.
He wasn't wrong, and he had every right to be angry with me.
"I know, I understand that now. . . and I did when his blood was showing me all those things- were those real even?"
"They were."
"I came down here because I. . . I don't remember anything after that"
I admitted.
"So it wasn't to apologize?" his large head shook in disappointment.
"You're lucky Ben's last wish was for me to show you what led to Jason's death. . ."
My eyes widen.
"What?! So he knew!"
I marched forward and he raised his head looking down at me with disapproval again.
"Just watch, and listen child. . . I will show you everything. . ." he let out a low growl.
I stepped back as he lifted up one of his giant feet his talons were large and black as he reached towards his other dragging the talon against it causing blood to drip out into the water. The water started to bubble before it turned black like it had when Ben died.
Was that Kaiden's doing too? . . .
I heard Joshua step out of the room as I watched images form in the liquid as they did once before.
"You fucking tell me why you wanted me to do that cleanse Ben! For real this time, Luna isn't here!"
I heard Jason voice and I swallowed as the image formed of him and Jason in the room I had met Ben in some time after.
Jason's fists were balled up his knuckles white as he growled his words.
"What kind of game do you think you're playing with me!"
He pushed.
"I- when Luna was sick I tried getting any info, and when I did that I- I found something, I didn't want it to be true but. . ."
Ben's voice was rattled and he was against the wall far away from Jason clearly uncomfortable from whatever situation was leading up to this.
"What did you find?" Jason pressed again.
"Remember when she got sick? Well . . . you drank from her during that obviously. . . and when you have a secret I guess it- it turns your blood into like a truth serum- and if you keep whatever deep secret you have well- it drives you insane, your body starves itself. . ." He paused for a moment swallowing.
"You become agitated easier in theory so you finally emotionally crack. . ."
Jason made a sudden unnerving chuckle as Ben tensed.
"They tell you secrets will kill you, but let me tell you I never thought that would be fucking literal"
Ben took a few steps closer.
"Just let it out Jason don't-"
"If this secret were so simple do you think it would be still a fucking secret?!"
Jason shouted slamming his fist against one of the book shelves and they cracked beneath him. Then I noticed his face. . . He was starting to cry.
Tears were rolling down his face as he looked back to Ben.
"You know I never thought it'd be like this. . . If I don't do this though you will die-"
"Die? What are you going on about? I really think we can fix this- or you alone whatever!"
Ben shook his head.
What was Jason talking about?. . .
Ben was pleading but Jason just grinned wiping his tears and straightened his shoulders as he reached for the door.
"You know, you've grown on me- but that too was my fault" and he stepped out of the door and Ben quickly chased after him, but he was gone. . . The scene quickly changed to when I arrived the memories almost fast forwarding to when I passed out. Alexander and Joshua had ran inside panicked. Alexander quickly moved to me and Joshua towards a fire that had suddenly started behind me- no that was just a fire. . . My eyes grew as I watched Kaiden form the fire spreading.
"We have to get her out now!"
Alexander shouted as he picked up my limp body grabbing the sword with it.
"Luna!" Rickey's voice shouted through the room.
"Fuck,fuck,fuck no!" Rickey rushed to Alexander putting his hands on my face.
"Rickey take her upstairs- I won't be far behind okay?" Alexander said calmly.
Rickey nodded quickly taking me from his arms as the smoke continued to fill the room.
Joshua threw the now empty fire extinguisher to the side.
The flames were now rising a low growl emerging from them.
"Alexander I don't think this is going to work I don't-"
Joshua's words were interrupted as a large tail slapped next to him as he jumped out of the way as Kaiden let out a large roar.
The crimson liquid bubbled once more before settling in the water.
"I don't understand. . ." I whispered.
"That is all I know, that is what was asked of me as Ben's dying wish. . ."
Kaiden moved around the room pacing.
"How. . . how did you get down here?"
"They led me down here once I reached my true form. . . Unfortunately though you broke your end I am still under my oath. . ."
His talons scratched at the floor beneath him as if he were trying to sooth himself.
I looked at Zadicus.
"Did you do that?" I asked.
"When he wakes up, I think you two should have a talk. . . I did my part. At least for today."
All of his words now seemed to purr, I wasn't sure if it was the dragon or if it was just how angry he was. I may have asked for more answers, but I wasn't ready for them. . . What he had shown me about Jason was enough for now. . .
"I'll leave you until then. . ." I muttered walking towards the door and put in the code.
"Good riddance. . ." he huffed as I heard him lay in the water.
I winced at his words, but I couldn't blame him. . . He was angry and rightfully so. I walked through the door looking at Joshua after the doors shut.
"That's enough for the day. . . we can go back to the room-"
"Actually there's one last thing. . ." Joshua interrupted.
"I overheard what happened. . . listen when we found Jason- his blood, it spelled out your name" he sighed.
"That's impossible that only happens when someone has an absolute secret from someone and we had no secrets. . . we told each other everything Zadicus must have done it"
"I- I understand that I didn't mean, I just thought you should know, but there's a letter in his office for you. . ."
I swallowed.
"I can come with you if you want. . ."
He said softly.
I shook my head.
"I think this is something I should do alone. . . I would appreciate the company being escorted though."
He smiled.
"Of course"
He bowed his head and I started my way upstairs.
"You know. . . I keep getting the honor of being everyone's buddy when it comes to death, maybe I should get a new title- wasn't there a movie with something like that?" Joshua tried to joke.
"I know I'm sorry Joshua. . ." I mumbled.
He chuckled.
"Don't be, I have something I'm good at, at least"
He shrugged.
We stopped at the office door and I stood there for a moment.
"Well. . . if you need me I won't be far, I assume you'll go back to your room"
I nodded and continued staring at the door.
I took a deep breath after he flashed away and put my hand on the cold gold doorknob and slowly opened it. I stared into the cold seeming room and as I looked I saw an envelope on his old cherry stained desk. I just stood there for a moment like that and my vision faded as I remembered our first memory in this room.
"I want this one for my office- it's perfect, and youuu can have the one next to it for yours" Jason pulled me to him as he sat on the bay window smiling down at me before placing a kiss on my lips.
"You're perfect" I whispered touching his face.
I felt tears stinging my eyes as I remembered so many of the good moments we had in this room alone. . . Was every room going to be like this? Now. . . now it was just a room, as I sniffled I could still smell the faint scent of his cologne. My heart ached, I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. . .
I walked slowly to the desk and reached for the envelope that had my name on it and slowly opened it pulling out the letter.
Dear Luna,
If you're reading this then I'm dead. . . I know you're upset right now- who knows in what way either. . . I have to admit the start of this letter is probably not going to make you feel better, I'm sorry for that. . . I'm sorry for it all. I've been hiding a secret from you, one I wish I never had. I met with Zadicus at his house a few years back- I thought I was going to die that night if I were to be honest. Instead, he wanted to know about you- how you were and everything. I told him, and he told me that I would do his bidding or he would kill me then and there. I was so torn, we were on the trail of the whole Kaiden thing. . . So I said yes, and I made a blood promise not to tell you. So please forgive me for never doing so, if he was so sure he could kill me who's to say a normal blood promise wouldn't? So. . . I ditched the guards- and before you run off killing them I swore the few in. However I made a loophole in it- if I died they were free to talk to you about it. I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. . . I've tried writing this at least a dozen times and nothing seems right. This isn't right I hope I get to burn this one day and your plan works. . . If not, Luna I love you. I am forever sorry for all of this, and I hope Rickey is bringing you some comfort right now. . . I know I'm hard on him sometimes, but I like him I promise. Don't shut him out though because of this, I never wanted you to be alone- I don't know what will happen with Zadicus and him, but I just want you happy. I've been so lucky to have you for as many years as I have with him threatening me. . . I am forever thankful for that. Just know, that I'm okay with dying and I love you.
That's all I've ever wanted and I love you, there's no good way to end this. . .
Jason
My tears fell onto the paper and I rushed to wipe it off and placed it on the desk wiping my eyes. If I felt bad about Ben's death before that now felt like a cake walk. . . My plan had ended up putting Jason in a worse position little did I know. . . He didn't even bat and eye because he trusted me.
"It's hard the first time. . ." I jumped as I heard Jarred's voice behind me.
I looked back at him turning myself around.
He was wearing an all black three piece suit. His hair looked nice and styled but his eyes. . . they were somewhat empty.
"You're awake. . . that's good. . ." he said quietly.
What could I say to him? What could I possibly say that could ever comfort him? He had lost his brother. . . it was my fault. This wasn't the first time he had lost a person he loved because of me either. I couldn't blame me if he hated me now.
His next move surprised me though. He pulled me into a hug, he didn't say anything just stood there and he took a deep shaky breath. I wasn't sure who the hug was more for. I gave him a tight squeeze back putting my head in his chest. If this was the small comfort I could give him, then I was more than willing.
"I know you were crying Lu. . . it's okay. . . it's okay to let it out" he murmured.
I tried to hold back the tears that kept wanting to pour, I couldn't do this right now.
"I know. . ." I said softly instead.
It was quiet for a moment before he pulled away and looked down at me sighing.
"I'm not angry with you Luna. . . I know it's hard to believe but I'm not angry with you"
I looked down at my feet.
"I think I hate myself enough for everyone if I were honest. . ."
I cleared my throat.
"So where did you come from?" I looked back up at him.
"Meeting with Cassie and Eric. . . they're gone though and they don't know why I'm filling it"
"I mean the real reason of course" he quickly added.
"What about your other job?"
He shrugged.
"It's being managed- outside of Rickey of course with everything he's been dealing with"
"There's a reason you both left me in your living wills remember? I can do it all just fine, take whatever time you need we have it all under control" he assured me.
I smiled laughing a little.
"You're still my older brother in law huh?"
He frowned.
"I thought we got over the in law part? Yes, I will always be your pain in the ass big brother" he patted my head.
I wrapped my arm back around him giving him a big hug.
"Thank you. . ."
ns 15.158.61.40da2
