"I don't want to be that girl" I say to Matty who is eyeing me warily waiting for me to say something. Hes stuck the kettle on and is watching me like a hawk. Glancing up through his long lashes.
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"I don't intend on hurting him." I say softly and I sit down on the table again, where we made our last night.
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"I know that" he says making two cups of coffee.
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"Me and Ross we've been friends for a long time" he continues. I sense his tension, he's annoyed at something.
"I don't blame you for not liking me right now, Ross is a great guy. I'm sorry I messed up everything, I should have left you alone" Matty starts blurting it all out.
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How can he think I'm blaming him?
"No I don't mean it like that" I say, I have to reassure him. He places the coffee down at my side. His fingers stroking my face, standing in between my legs again.
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“You want a smoke” he asks, lips not far from mine.
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“Yes” I smile wondering when he is going to kiss me again. I hope it’s soon.
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"What !?" he asks me as I watch him pull out two cigarettes, menthol ones.
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"I've never smoked before, I don't even know how to" I laugh again.
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"You've never smoked? You smoked a bit last night babe" he says. I like that he just called me babe. Normally I would object to that, Tom tried to call me honey once and I just couldn't take it. Who says honey? But with Matthew everything he does works, he’s confident.
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"Oh I know I did a lot of things last night" I say. He comes closer and lights up my cigarette.
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"Okay inhale" he says, I do as he instructs and he watches me intently.
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"Pull the cigarette out and inhale the smoke down again" he says watching my lips.
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“Then blow" he smiles.
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I don't choke. It's not all that unpleasant either. I smile up at him and he lights up his own.
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"You're so innocent" he chuckles stroking a strand of my hair back. He pulls his leather jacket off, I catch myself staring at his biceps. He brushes my leg with his spare hand.
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He breathes out the smoke. Deliberating.
I want to chuck myself at him. I remember sitting on top of this table last night my legs open and him kissing me. I blush.
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"What are you thinking about" he asks me, playfully, his voice sends me places.
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I shake my head. Blushing all the more. He’s my first and he doesn’t even know it yet.
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"Tell me please" he demands and I smile at him sweetly.
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“Taylor” he says in my ear softly.
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"Okay it would be better to show you" I tease him whispering back.
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"Would I like it?" He asks and the chemistry between us is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I'm done talking I put my cigarette in the ash tray, I slide back on top of the table. Throwing caution to the wind. When I get home, I want to remember this moment. Even if he doesn’t message me back, even if he discards me after this. I want to remember the passion. The kissing and the way he holds onto my hips.
He stands in front of me surprised.
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"Oh you want more?" He asks me.
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"I was thinking about last night" I say picking my cigarette up again and inhaling before returning it to the ashtray.
"And how I would have liked it to play out" I say suggestively.
"And how's that" he says edging closer to me. His green eyes alive again. I vow to myself to remember his eyes, for the rest of my days. The way they glow, captivating me.
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***Matty's POV***
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She's driving me insane, in the best way. She knows it too. Stroking me this morning, I've never climaxed by a girl touching me, ever.
I remember the feeling of her breasts in my hands. It's enough to turn me on without her even trying.
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My intention was to just talk to her and drive her home. But she's making that very hard, alongside other things. She's innocent, but she likes me talking dirty to her. I imagine she hasn't really had many sexual experiences with other guys and it's seriously turning me on.
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She's sitting on top of the table again, I part her legs with my hands pulling them apart. I run my hands up the inside of her thigh. She's watching me.
I inhale my cigarette, I need to drag this out. It could be the last time. She might leave here and decide on Ross. Ross is dependable, nice and worthy. I would choose Ross, he’s wonderful, a great catch. He’ll take her to movies and plays and kiss her all night long.
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"What are you doing to me" I ask her looking into her eyes.
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"I'm giving you what you want" she replies. Good girl. She pulls at my shirt and it's off, her hands are all over me and I feel completed by her.
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"I'm going to give you what you want right now" I whisper in her ear and she’s gasps leaning back on the table.
I unbutton the jeans, pulling her off of the table and taking the jeans off of her. She ditched her panties in her bag and I'm temporarily frozen, I'm never going to get bored of this one.
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The top comes off next and she is bursting out of her bra. I lift her up back onto the table.
She's shy, she sits with her legs together. I'm about to change that when she unbuttons my jeans. She takes another drag on the cigarette and looks at me as if to say what now. The fact that she is hanging on my every move is making me so hard.
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I part her legs and continue brushing my hand over her. Her head swings back and she moans my name straight away. It's going to be very hard to not make love to her on this table. She's already wet for me. I want to give her that so much. But somewhere in my convoluted brain, my subconscious tells me to slow down.
"That okay?" I ask her in her ear.
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“Matthew” she gasps and I smile as she grasps at my boxers.
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“Do you like it Taylor” I whisper softly.
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“Yes” she gasps and I smile.
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"Tell me how much" I ask her.
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"So much" she says between gasps.
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I want her to reach her climax for me again. I continue touching her and I rest my head on her neck kissing and slightly nipping at her there.
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“Do you want one of my fingers” I whisper, look I don’t know if she’s ever had sex before, I’m treading carefully.
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“Just one” she says and I kiss her neck over and over again, losing myself in her presence.
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"Matthew" she says desperately and I give in, just one finger. That’s not breaking any rules.
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"Taylor" I say back in her ear.
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“I want you, all of you to myself” I whisper and she gasps.
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"I love it when you say my name" I tell her.
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She briefly opens her eyes, lost in my movements and I smile at her reassuring. Matthew she moans over and over again and I kiss her. Her jaw, her neck, even her ears as she breathes steadily into me.
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She reaches her climax and I hold her against me.
Not sure I care about Ross or anybody else anymore. She's mine.
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