Taylor's POV
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"What did he say" I ask Ross as he hands me my bag, his arms moving me towards the foyer.
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"Taylor" he whispers softly, his compassion is clear. It's all over his face, it's evident in the way he wants to help me get out of here. He's here for me.
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"No I want to know" I demand as he pulls me into the glass porch. Away from the loud voices in the parlour and the shouting. I briefly hear Jay's southern voice shouting at Jen before Ross clicks the glass porch shut cancelling out the noise.
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"I tried to tell you" he explains softly placing his suit jacket over me to keep me warm, as I clamber down the stone steps, wanting out of this house.
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"I tried Taylor so many times to tell you that he wasn't genuine, he plays games. He wanted to bet against me to get with you. I refused to accept because no women should ever be treated in that way, Ever" he says softly holding onto my hand. I glance up at him crying and regret not listening to him, falling head over heels for somebody that just wanted to get to me first. Matthew has been playing games with my entire future.
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"When was it" I ask him as he pulls me into his chest to keep me warm.
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"The day after we met you" he says softly, his hands wiping my tears, wrapping the suit blazer around me.
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"He took you home, and then he came out with us" he explains and I gasp, Matthew had asked me out on a date that night. He had been persistent, and wasted no time because he really wanted to win his bet. I squirm thinking of how I planned all of my outfit, wondering around my room smiling gleefully that he wanted me. I wipe my eyes looking down at the gravel and cursing myself for getting swept away by his grande gestures.
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"I will never trust again" I say as he lifts my chin up to his.
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"You will, I will make sure of it" he says adamantly.
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The door swings behind us, the noise of the music and the arguing seeping out before it closes again. Ross shoots a glare in the direction of the entrance and sighs relieved that it is not Matthew.
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"Taylor" Rhea cries pulling me into her and hugging me. I cry into her shoulder and she just waits for me to be ready to talk.
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"I told him about Tom and how he hurt me, and the same day he did this" I sob and she shh's me as Jay appears with Malachi. Jay stares at me apologetically as Malachi wipes his hand of blood.
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"I told him to tell me everything. I nearly" I begin crying, stopping myself short from telling her about the emergency contraception and how I almost didn't take it.
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"Okay let's sort it out" she reassures me stroking my hair.
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"Everything is at his house" I say pushing my hair back frustrated.
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"I can't go back to my room at my mums, Rhea I'll never leave it again" I tell her desperately watching the water fountain, eyeing Matthew's car and the memories it brings freshly to my mind. Driving to the art shop, kissing whilst he bought me my ring. Sitting with him in my kitchen as he held me, telling me that he never wanted to see me hurt again. Selling me promises, false love.
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"He didn't want to come here tonight" I say desperately looking back up at Ross.
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"He was never going to tell me, he wanted to keep me away from everything" I say to him as he pushes his hair back frustrated. He mutters under his breath before holding onto my hand. I pull his suit jacket, feeling the soft material encompass me. It swamps me as he has huge shoulders and a built frame.
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"I'm going to suggest something and you're not going to like it. One bit. I think you should hear him out. I think you should just listen and not make up your mind yet on any of it" Rhea says pulling me to face her.
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"You will kick yourself later if you don't listen now" she says reassuring me.
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"Get all of the facts" Jay says softly as I glance at Malachi who is still seething.
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"Take my advice or leave it. I just want you to know that I've told Malachi to get us a cab back to mine" she says and I hug her and thank her for being my saviour all the time.
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"Okay" she says before walking back into the foyer quietly as I stand and look up at Ross.
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"Can you stay here" I say to him. Ross makes me feel safe, whilst at the minute my whole life has been turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew now feels wrong to me. My absolute devotion of Matthew, the memories I hold close to me, the ring I wear on my finger. I look at the blue sapphire and it no longer brings me joy. Pulling the ring off, I wait.
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"You said I didn't have everything with him, why didn't you just tell me" I say to Jay angrily as he swoops his hair back.
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"The absolute love of my life who played me like I was a stupid game" I mutter glancing at the ring and scoffing. The guy who I considered having children with only hours ago. The guy I planned my future with. The first love of my life who lied to me.
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"If I told you, would you have listened" he says carefully. I eye him, having to agree that I most probably would have called him a liar. Malachi excuses himself to call a cab and I hold onto Ross like he's life support.
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Rhea, letting herself and Matthew out of the porch and down the marbles steps, approaches us. I eye him and his split lip. I hold onto Ross and wipe my eyes that just won't quit, reeling that he would put me through this. That he would allow me to be utterly humiliated. That he would bet on us being together.
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"Im so sorry, Tay" he begins and I want to hit him, I want to hurt him just as he has hurt me.
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"You're fucking sorry? So it's all true? You just wanted to play me like some sort of game. I gave you so many opportunities to tell me this. But you had to make it so the person that told me was Jen, your ex. In front of everybody. Do you know how humiliated I am? I could be...you know what and you're fucking sorry" I say exasperated. I feel my fingers shake and my legs quiver, the cold wrapping around me.
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"You're cold" he says and he offers me his jacket, even though I'm wrapped up in Ross'.
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"I'm not cold, I'm... don't touch me" I say. He must not touch me.
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"I'm devastated actually. I told you I loved you over and over again. What did I possibly do to you to make you hate me so much that you wanted to destroy me so completely" I tell him and then I shut up, looking back down at the gravel so that I can count in my head instead of crying in front of him.
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"I didn't want to play games with you. I didn't. I saw Ross liked you and I knew I wanted to be with you, granted not to the extent I want to be with you now. But I wanted you to myself. I saw everybody that day, I was drinking and that's not an excuse I know. Ryan was asking about you, I wanted to shut them up. I've never felt like this about anyone, and fuck I didn't know what to do." He says wiping his own eyes.
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"He started saying you texted him" he explains eyeing Ross and my hand in his.
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"It's stupid and it doesn't excuse anything but I felt like I was falling for you and you were texting him. And not me. And that doesn't mean I'm saying I was right to do what I did but I'm just trying to explain" He adds looking at my hand without my ring on it.
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"Ross said he would not compete or act like you were a prize. I was angry, at the time I thought he just thought he had already won. He was texting you, he seemed to know so much about you and he was being gallant and acting so damn worthy. And it just really pissed me off. I said I would get with you, over him I just wanted to push him out. I wanted to make him squirm." he explains pushing his brunette locks back and sighing exasperated.
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"I honestly didn't mean it like that. I was just being hot headed and jealous. But the girls overheard and Jen got involved saying that she would put her money on me. And I should have objected to the whole thing and told them to fuck off. I went along with it because I thought it would make Ross and Ryan back off and then I was going to not see them again" he finishes eyeing Ross apologetically.
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"I wasn't going to see any of you ever again" he adds looking at Jay who just watches on speechless. Perhaps he's never seen a man cry?
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"It's totally shit and I'm sorry" he says attempting to take me in his arms away from Ross.
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"I showed you? Didn't I? I showed you my feelings for you. I invited you in. I did text Ross, yes because he's a friend. He messaged me an essay telling me he was sorry that he didn't see me back to my place and that he was sorry about that. He just wanted to check that I got back okay and I was not going to ignore him" I tell him.
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"I know fuck, I just acted out and I'm sorry okay fuck I didn't mean to hurt you. It's unforgivable. I know that" he says.
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"So you rung me that night just to start off your little game and get a head start. Just so you could push Ross out of the equation." I accuse him feeling sick.
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"No not all, I wanted to talk to you. I just wanted to be close to you." He pleads with me.
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"When were you going to tell me Matty?" I ask. His sad expression tells me that he wasn't, he had no intention of coming clean. I decide that's enough crying for one night and that I'm going right now. I will not stand here just crying in front of him.
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"I'm leaving right now is there anything else ?" I say through my tears.
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"Where are you going? I can sleep on the sofa you can have the bed." He says softly.
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"You think I would honestly do all of that stuff, change my home, buy you a ring for some sort of conquest" he adds and I get angry.
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"Here it is" I tell him handing him his ring back, he holds it in his hands just watching me.
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"Please don't, Taylor I love you" he explains crying.
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"Not enough to tell me though right?" I practically shout at him.
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"I asked you directly just days ago and you refused to just tell me. Because Matty you don't love me. Because I'm just number 19 on your list of conquests and now you can just go and find number 20" I shout at him. My sadness has morphed into anger. I'm so angry with him, and with everything.
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"I love you Taylor, I don't deserve you and I told you that. But please don't leave me" he says.
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"Just give me a bit of time to prove it to you, I know you know I love you. I've never ever had anybody constant in my life like this and I can't lose you" he says.
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"I don't want to lose us, please I'm begging you." He wipes his eyes and looks at me, completely defiant.
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"I'm staying at Rhea's, tonight. It would hurt too much to see the house and realise it was all a lie to keep me from finding out the truth" I explain backing away from him with Ross by my side. He looks stricken, but at the moment I need space. I need Matthew away from me.
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Ross doesn't say a thing. Not an I told you so, not an advance. He doesn't talk, he doesn't tell me he didn't do it. He knows I know, and he just hugs me. He just wants to show me that he's there like he always has been the whole time. He lets me go. Ross cares for me in any capacity that I need him. He doesn't ever demand from me. He doesn't make this about him and consequently what he can get from me.
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I climb into the cab and close the door. Matty is still there, where I left him. I watch as Ross goes over to him to mediate. He always does, no matter the problem he's there to help. I don't know where we all got so lucky to have such a mature, compassionate person as a friend. Jay guides Matthew to an audi and they get in. I don't think about him I refuse to wonder where Matthew is going tonight. We don't talk in the car, Rhea just hugs me the whole way back.
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