Taylor’s POV
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Trigger warning-emergency contraception and discussions surrounding abortion
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Walking along the path with him his hand closed around mine. He makes me feel so reassured, his body language has completely evolved towards me. It's changed in the way that he no longer tentatively holds my hand but clasps it in his own like it belongs there.
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The park is lined with palm trees, highly pruned lawns and flowers. The sun beating down on us even though it is still relatively early. I gaze up at him tentatively.
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"So you said, don't decide on anything because of what I think you want earlier what did you mean" I ask him.
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“Don’t assume that I'm going to just run to the hills. I'm not like that. I meant that I want to be supportive with your decision. I want what is best for you, I want you to decide on what you want and to make an informed choice. I want to be happy with you. If that means seeing how this pans out then I will do my very best to meet your expectations." He says looking down at me.
I'm floored. Honestly who knew how grown up and eloquent he could be?
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“Taylor, I’ve never seen myself in this way before. I mean what I feel is genuine.” He says softly.
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He guides me further into the park allowing me the time to just think and process all of the thoughts in my head.
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"Let's discuss the options." He says smiling at me as we sit under a small palm tree, me lounging back onto him. His arms over my shoulders holding me.
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"Option one: we've had sex it was amazing, we didn't intend to not use protection but these things happen when your girl is unbelievably beautiful. We leave it open, whatever happens happens. We are either pregnant or not. Once we reach that milestone we decide how we feel about the situation. And we try to think more rationally about the logistics of the situation.” He says in my ear and I smile up at him.
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“Ohh that smile Taylor” he sighs and I giggle as he holds onto my waist.
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“What’s our other option” I smile up at him.
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“Option two: we go to the clinic today. We nip the situation in the bud. They will not be able to tell you whether we have conceived. We go through the process of it all. Pick up some contraception. We will move on in our relationship just fine. We will not ever know whether you did get pregnant or not.
Can you think of any other options?" He asks me softly.
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"No. I can't and nicely put. But if we went with option one and we both decided to have an abortion, that would be a bigger ordeal than taking a pill" I tell him.
He squeezes my hand.
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"What do you think?" I ask him looking up into his eyes.
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"I think although we're probably overthinking the whole thing. It’s important to understand where we both stand on situations such as this one. People usually spend months or years trying to get pregnant. What's the likelihood we managed it in one night?" He says softly.
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“Having said that I am happy to see where this goes” he whispers in my ear and I catch my breath.
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"But I also think if you know for sure that this isn't what you want I am happy to support you, just the same as I will if you want to see how it goes" he says.
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Looking over at the small play park I think about university and the courses I want to do and how I would even manage a dance degree whilst pregnant.
I think about my mum and her reaction if I told her I was pregnant at 18. Complete madness that would be.
I think about Matthew, about how much of a commitment this would be for both of us, and I think I’ve reached a decision.
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Ultimately the one thing that makes up my mind is Matthew growing up with me through university becoming an artist in his own right. Myself passing my dance degree. I think about our lives and how we have so much ahead of us, hopefully together. I imagine us having an opportunity like this one and being ready to deal with it eventually. Being excited to welcome life into our world and without having to think about whether it’s the right choice. It will be our time to become parents when we are older.
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"I think I want to go to the clinic. I don't think this is the right time for me or for you to manage this situation. And no matter how tempted I am, the idea of hanging on to find out is impossible for me. And having an abortion would be impossible for me should we have conceived, I know I wouldn't be able to do that. Thank you for being the best partner ever and I love you" I tell him peering up at him.
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"I love you too, and I support your decision." Matthew says. And it's just what I needed to hear. I feel so lucky to have a partner like him going through this with me.
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He hugs me in the middle of park and kisses me on my lips. Then he takes my hand. And leads me back to the car.
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