Taylor’s POV
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🎧I'll just wait - emarosa
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"It would be silly to come to a place like this" Matthew says looking around him and finally resting his eyes on my face. The vines which now reach high up to our shoulders surround us, it's dusk and even the air feels magical.
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"And to just leave and not even have a look" he finishes his eyes glisten. I curse myself for spending so much time on Tom, for wasting all of my time in my bedroom watching shows and just waiting for him. To call or to message or just to have an interest in me. For pleading with someone to see me; when really the world was waiting for me to step back into it and find a guy like Matthew. It’s a life lesson I realise; there are people in this world that you won’t have to beg to care for you. They want to be a part of your life. Knowing you is important to them.
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At the end of our path there is a seat with roses growing up and around the pergola. The sun is setting behind it.
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His hand finds mine and he lightly pulls me forward. I allow myself to be lead by him following through the roses smiling. Taking in the sound of the birds and the sun falling behind the clouds. The vines that wrap around each other, entangled. The various red and white roses.
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Matty sits down and I take a seat next to him on the bench. He lifts his arm behind me resting it on the side and his hand comes to sit on my shoulder. We sit for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the birds and the people who are now far away from us. Neither of us feels like breaking the silence. It's not uncomfortable or awkward it's actually nice to share a moment with him and not have to fill it with words.
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"I want you to know" Matty says looking into the distance and not directly at me. My heart plummets. Worrying suddenly that he's going to mess with me or tell me that I'm just not good enough. It would be true. My worries are a constant response to Tom, how he continually let me down.
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"I really should not have gone so far with you when we had only just met" he continues and I brace myself. Does he mean that he feels like he owes me and that's the only reason he's taken me out? We’re perfect Matthew don’t break this I yell in my head, thinking of impending one tree hill prison.
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"I was not really in my right head, the smoking and drinking. And I shouldn't have taken advantage and..." he says, why must he do this now just let me have this moment, unspoiled and perfect.
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"Again I can't express it right." He says pulling his hand through his hair.
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"You don't owe me anything" I say desperately and he looks at me confused. I have to say something, or he’s going to ramble on and end things.
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He takes my face in his hands, and then moves them through my hair as he tosses it off of my shoulders.
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"What I am saying, is you are special and beautiful and I am punching so high right now and you seem to think that I'm better than you" he says to me looking incredulous.
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"What I mean is I should not have moved in on you over one night it cheapens what we have, I don't see you as just someone to fuck with" he says and looks at me apologising for putting it so crudely. My little heart flutters. Now I’m begging him to keep talking.
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"I want to start this right not by just kissing you and making out with you when I'm high or as part of some stupid game" he says, hands rested either side of my face.
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"Am I making any sense whatsoever?" He asks smiling at me.
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"I think I know what you mean, I have to tell you though I am just as culpable as you are. I was happy for those things to happen between us and I'm just as much if not more to blame when it comes to kissing everybody else" I say softly. Please kiss me Matthew, your kisses solve my problems.
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"If anything I need to explain to you I am not that kind of person. I'm embarrassed that I acted in that way in front of everyone not because I'm ashamed of my body but because I don't do that kind of thing casually" I laugh and look at him shyly.
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"I didn't think you were. And I definitely wouldn't think any less of you for that reason" he says softly.
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"I just want to ask you if we can start this all again, not forget what happened but treat it as if this is our first date" he asks me.
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Did he just use the word date? Openly? Having felt so tense not knowing what he was going to say, the relief rushes through me and turns into sheer happiness. He definitely should not have that amount of influence over me yet but I cannot deny that he does.
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"Of course, and can I just say this place" I say looking around at the roses and thorns with the distant skyline turning a pink, purple colour with the setting sun.
“Is perfect for a first date, Matthew" I finish.
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“I don’t let anyone call me Matthew” he smiles kissing my lips briefly.
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Matthew could not have been a more fitting name for him, I love Matty too of course. But I just know his mother refuses to shorten his name because she chose the single best name for him. I look at him; his angular jaw, green eyes and dark brown hair, and I wonder how he sees me? How have I been so lucky to attract his attention?
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"I love your name, your Mum clearly intended you to be a Matthew and it suits you." I say to him cheekily. The wine has made me feel confident, again. I put my arm around his waist rubbing his side. Maybe it's the drink but I'm sure it's not, I want him to be mine. And I want to be his.
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I would love to stay here, in this field of wild flowers with him forever however it's starting to get much cooler and I shiver. I can feel his body warmth under my touch and I cling to him.
This moment will most definitely stick with me for a long time.
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"Here's my jacket" he says placing it over my shoulders as we stand to walk back.
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"When you say my full name it doesn't make me squirm like when other people do" he says, arm around me as we are walking back through the flowers.
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He lights up as we walk back to the car. Plucking a rose, not a typical red one but a white one that's sticks out from the rest.
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"Well it wouldn't be a date without any flowers" he says passing it to me.
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