***Taylors POV***
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The Exorcism of Tom begins tomorrow I think to myself glancing at my small bedroom and the memories that are all over the walls. I place my phone back down on the pillow, remembering how I used to will for it to light up with a notification from him. And yet how all of that waiting always ended in disappointment.
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Matthew is altogether different, he leaves me feeling secure and happy. He leaves me waiting with excitement not to disappoint me with problems and worry.
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My phone vibrates just as I am drifting back off dreaming about beautiful brunette haired guys with green eyes. The way he held me in my kitchen, his hands around my back. The way I lose track of time around him. I drift off thinking about his dark green eyes and how they evoke a sense of passion and urgency in me. I check the notification, deciding that after that slanging match this morning Tom is long gone, and I no longer need to worry about his impromptu visits and the consequential stretches of time afterwards where he would leave me with no contact.
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I miss you, I know that’s a bit forward considering we’ve only just met each other. I was just thinking would you like to grab some food on Thursday? And then we can do whatever you choose after. M xxx
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The butterflies I feel in my stomach won’t be tamed, it feels like my tummy has been flipped upside down. I haven’t ever been invited out for food with a guy my age before, before my head starts brainstorming outfits and reaches panic mode I reply to his message.
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That would be lovely, I’m seeing Rhea Thursday morning for coffee. But after then I would love it if you took me out for dinner. Tay xxx
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I dropped my friends for Tom continuously, it was a bad trait and not something I’m going to repeat going forward in any relationship. I found myself isolated in bed prison when he dropped me for other girls or just continually didn’t show up. And so it’s important that I keep my friendships this time around.
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Matthew I think to myself, please do not make me end up having to exorcise you from my life. He wanted me to call him Matthew rather than his abbreviated name, I wonder if he allows any of the girls to do that. Usually I wouldn’t question it, but it felt like it meant something to him.
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Deciding that sleep is going to be hard to come by tonight considering my nap earlier and the interesting developments in my love life I sit up and turn the flatscreen on, heading over to my wardrobe to pick out some dinner appropriate first date clothes.
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My wardrobe is a traditional wooden double door set up. With two drawers at the bottom. It’s very much a piece of furniture that will never degrade or get worn down, it’s old and it’s lasted me my whole life. It was built to last. I open the two heavy wooden doors expecting clothes to just pop out at me for inspiration. It’s times like these I wish I had a fairy God mother to tell me what to wear, I’ve never been on a first date and I’m overwhelmed.
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What would Rachel wear I think to myself? Or Rhea I consider, perhaps she’s a better fashionista and I should ask her advice. I haven’t had to consider anything but slob shorts for a few weeks that turned into months as leaving the house wasn’t an option in case Tom turned up.
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The girls Matty dated before I brainstorm; Rachel and Jen. In a way these two girls have both been more than just his friend. I would be lying if that didn't phase me at all but let’s push aside the negativity for now. I sit on the fluffy rug on the floor and go through some underwear options.
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Rachel’s style is pretty out there, alternative with an edgy vibe. Lots of colour. Not something I’ve ever tried before, I imagine myself showing up to our date in a luminous pink mini skirt and cringe. Although he must have found her attractive in order to have been with her. The raciest thing I have is a black lace Victoria’s Secret bra, which my mother got me measured for and treated me too. That could impress him, perhaps? I think to myself pulling at my wavy brunette hair getting frustrated.
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I stroke through my hair and the mess I have made of it not blow drying it earlier and lay out some underwear choices wondering how many girls he's been with. If I could guess a ballpark figure I'd go with ten, but perhaps it’s more. Compared to my one time, with him. We haven’t had intercourse yet, and I’m not sure on his expectations of me.
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Jen, I believe he said the girls name was on the phone that he had been dating. I place the black bra down and a black matching lace thong sure on those. I can’t help but to wonder what she might be like, how long they were together and how they ended things.
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Standing up again in my sleep shirt I look at myself in the mirror in the wardrobe and doubt that Jen or Rachel, wear pink camisoles and Jean shorts. Or Brandy Melville shirts and cargos. Rachel considers herself older and more mature, she wears a lot of stylised makeup and lipstick. I mentally note that makeup buying is a must with Rhea or my mom. And perfume, I think to myself looking over at my vacant en suite shelf.
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I sit down on the side of my bed with half of my underwear laid out on the floor and text Rhea.
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Things to tell you, advice needed and some growing up to do. In the form of makeup and exorcisms of ex boyfriends. Hope your evening with Malachi is wonderful. LY xx
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Placing my phone in my lap I look over my underwear from afar, imagining Matthew taking it off of me and kissing my body. He’s wonderful, instinctual and his kisses feel like he’s setting my body on fire. My phone buzzes again and expecting it to be Rhea I glance at the message.
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Are you awake, I’m thinking about you. M xxx
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So we've gone from little contact to not leaving me alone. I like this version of him, the one that can't leave me alone. I smirk down at the message and type a quick reply before putting my underwear away.
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I’m thinking about you too. Tay xxx
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I place the underwear away and smile looking down at my phone. Waiting on his next message.
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Now you’re going to have to tell me what you’re thinking. M xxx
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I chuckle closing the wardrobe doors and laying back down on my bed under the duvet with the tv still on. I am very inexperienced texting guys. I don’t know what to say to him but he makes me feel comfortable.
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I’m thinking about your eyes and your lips. And your hands. Tay xxx
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He replies quickly and I find myself smiling down at my phone.
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And there was me thinking all of the same things, and where I’m going to take you out for dinner. Mind if I call you? M xxx
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I ask him to please call me and before I know it we’re talking again on the phone at two am.
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"Taylor" he says confidently. He sounds a lot less drunk. Like he's sobered up, considerably. His voice sends shivers through me and I smile.
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“Matthew” I say softly.
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“You sound a lot more coherent” I smirk.
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"Cheeky, I was not that drunk in the first place" he retaliates laughing.
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“You sound a lot more awake” he teases.
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"I was not asleep at midnight what do you mean” I laugh at him and he chuckles.
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“Taylor what food do you like?” He asks me and a smile plays over my lips.
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"You're not vegan are you" he asks
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"No would that be a problem?" I chuckle and he sighs.
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“Taylor you could tell me almost anything and it would not be a problem” he sighs.
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“I like most food Matthew, actually I love cooking too” I smile and I can sense his happiness.
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“Okay I will book it, then I can pick you up from yours” he half asks.
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“Yes please” I smile down the phone.
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"Hey can I ask you a question" I whisper feeling like we're the only people in this world.
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"Mhmm yes you can ask me anything” he says.
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"Tell me about your favourite things" I ask. I want to know him, build upon my picture of him. Inside out.
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"Like your favourite shows, your favourite music. That kind of thing. What makes you happy, what you like to do” I add.
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He begins telling me about the shows he used to watch growing up, and how Steve his step-dad got him into rock music. After their countless car journeys listening to various bands. He likes indie music and anything alternative. He learnt to play the drums but was rubbish at it. He chuckles slightly and I just want him here talking to me.
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He tells me about drawing and art and how he loves to sit and sketch things. How he loves drawing nature and beautiful things.
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"Taylor you there? You can tell me yours now" I briefly hear him reply and he chuckles as I'm drifting off to sleep.
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