1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZqgHJFW9T1
胡紹權頭仰向上俯視我,問:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA1a7b02VoB1
1007Please respect copyright.PENANA6XUu2X92K2
「Surprise?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA4CquiDv7Bv
1007Please respect copyright.PENANABtWzg2h92j
我心想,緊係好撚Surprise啦!屌你老母!1007Please respect copyright.PENANApecydEW7VE
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAqivE9HPdQO
本來我應該被眼前的情景嚇到瀨屎才對的,但我卻莫明的冷靜,等待他的反應。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAawr99gtxXr
1007Please respect copyright.PENANACV1wmhkQt3
「波叔,你重記唔記得我生日果陣時,你送撚左隻錶比我啊?我同你講啊,當時我真係好撚感動嫁,無呃鳩你嫁,我好尊敬你嫁!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANApCctpPo1w2
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAeUsT5hdwqe
他站在高處,以憐憫的眼光望著我說道。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAght9e0wKZM
1007Please respect copyright.PENANA1erFtvHfhW
點解要憐憫?我都唔鳩知。只知道他正在高點走下來向我步步進逼,然後說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAn8amPpxTri
1007Please respect copyright.PENANANWZRQL5vzt
「但你點解要扑撚爆我個頭啊?」他兩隻眼瞪到大一大地望著我,使我心都寒埋。1007Please respect copyright.PENANA87ap4xYeuA
1007Please respect copyright.PENANA282DAv2tdO
我當然也有自己的理由:「咁你又點解要扑小紅啊?你尊敬我唔洗尊敬埋我條女嫁。我話你知,全鳩部都係你自己攞黎嫁屌你!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA3w9XHEu3GM
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAH5oLpPS7Kg
道理當然在我這邊,但他卻忽然問:「你唔鐘意我幫你換床單啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANANzQsD2xkbV
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAtal4yHAhBP
望著他充滿與鄙視的表情,我立即扯火:「屌你老母!你做乜撚野要提床單啊!!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAXYVW8VPzmV
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAYyYDOFBMZw
我甚至想一拳鐘落他的臉,可是他正與我保持一個尷尬的距離,不是出手的好時機。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAktbtpdRhVf
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAVM2eUmbfwq
見我已經嬲到全身都震撚哂,他顯得非常喜悅地上前,繼續刺激我:「你換唔到床單,點解要入我數啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAtw9BB21VKt
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAwStXeiDvFY
我努力保持克制,但他居然得吋進呎:「你打爆我個頭都換唔到床單嫁啦。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA954NoEIkGW
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAgT0TgufEpK
然後一路發出痴撚線的笑聲,一路再補上一句:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAOf8ARWC9xe
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAceqslO2M0q
「打爆幾多次都換唔到嫁喎!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAiqneuwKLlr
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這樣一來,我就很明白這是明顯的挑釁,要是出手就輸鳥,忍耐才是上策。1007Please respect copyright.PENANATtEGCptmHR
1007Please respect copyright.PENANA1KeX3AQFvX
忍耐?忍條撚!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAC3dt4SQtQQ
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已經被踩到上心口了,還忍什麼!?我已經忍撚到個頭要爆炸鳥!理得你是死人還是喪屍,胡紹權!我屌你老母!1007Please respect copyright.PENANA11zRy9Wzq7
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAD1yKbykBra
屌老母都已經不能表達我的憤怒了!怒氣已經失控得過火,我都不知道自己將會做什麼了!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAVypTEATQ2P
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAQk64ACSdXH
我隨手拿起地上的棒球棍,一棍就正面扑向他的頭頂!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAbYR45XT7LN
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可是,他的頭沒有因此而爆漿,也沒有倒下,因為我根本就沒有扑中他,正確點來說,我在離他頭部兩CM前急煞。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAAhChfWKQTR
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因為我一想起小紅與床單……內心的情況根本不是憤怒……而是一種沉重的悲憤,因此我下不了手……只能用力推走阿權,然後說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAjnsINHVGl0
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「你做乜撚野姐!死開啦!我真係唔鳩介意啊!我話你聽我同佢扑撚到要換撚埋床添啊!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAh5e7UZ8srL
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAN6HHMi9sjP
說罷我坐在地上,目光呆滯地向木地板發呆,小紅見狀,立即上前安慰我:1007Please respect copyright.PENANABzhP6XFlbb
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「你唔好咁唔開心啦,蜜糖。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAfR7xKJzwVA
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見到小紅,我歇斯底里地說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAlQKvoNHGIG
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「你想我開心?好簡單嫁炸,你唔好再同其他男人扑野就得嫁喇!乜你好等錢使咩?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAjCH5eTZo51
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAD0K77Kp4od
然後我站起來取出銀包,將裡面的銀紙一疊一疊丟去她:「你嫌我比得唔夠多錢你咪講囉!你要錢之嘛,錢之嘛!我比你!比鳩哂你!你唔好再同其他男人扑野就得喇!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAbdxLbs3bRO
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見我這副樣子,她站捉住我的手說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAkEBiuEH8kX
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「蜜糖,你冷靜D啦,我地就黎結婚嫁喇。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAVfPJ2VDhc8
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但我懶理這隻雞說什麼?為什麼我要同這隻成日同其他男人扑野既雞結婚啊?我痴撚線的嗎!?1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZjwc1RubyF
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已經痴撚線的我開始將心裡面藏了很久的話一次過吐出來:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA8gtyuZXOed
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAhaOPiPrIYr
「我知啊,江山易改,雞性難移啊嘛!我知你都唔想嫁,就好從有病要食藥,肚餓要食飯,眼訓要訓覺,急屎要屙屎,你西痕就要搵人扑野,好正常,好合理啊!我可以理解啊!所以我無怪你啊,所以我先殺左阿權啊!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA42lUKnHG86
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAYGt4zC71XJ
好的,我真係痴撚線的,講真,我係愛這隻雞的,但我又不能完全地接受她是隻雞這個事實,如果可以,我可以只與小紅結婚,然後再休左她作為雞的另一半嗎?1007Please respect copyright.PENANAQDB8ajiuMY
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當然唔得啦!小紅與雞就好像一碗已經撈勻的芝麻糊豆腐花一樣,兩者已經混為一體!你要吃豆腐花就一定會連埋芝麻糊,無得分開,一係就唔鳩好食!一係就發明時光機,無更多的選擇!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAunO9uBppDt
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAnlfFzXvTJ2
她上前擁著我,安慰我說:「我唔想你辛苦,先偷偷地搵D外快之嘛,蜜糖,唔好咁嬲啦,錫返。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAnSORLz9hcc
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAbS70WMv7wr
屌你老母!我個頭好撚痛啊師父!好鳩辛苦,好矛盾啊!!這個女人究竟是蠢?還是痴撚線啊!?救命啊!!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAqDhiZuv9DY
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我想推開她,但又不忍心,只能繼續呻:「我辛苦?我真係好辛苦嫁,你估我唔想比多D錢你啊?我都有老豆老母要養嫁!你估醫療費,藥費,管理費唔洗錢啊?我已經對你重好過我自己嫁喇!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAFNJRmkAok5
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坐在旁邊的阿哥立即喝斥我:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAhR5TpYtdrY
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAlOhU1U0Myw
「你個仆街仔!你終於講出口喇咩?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAqfsAamBlAG
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一想起他的往事,我非常火滾,你這個靠老豆老母的人渣憑什麼這樣話我?於是我馬上反駁:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA4KA4KRD9Uu
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「屌你老母!陳錦泉!你而家怪我啊?每個月你比返幾錢老豆老母啊?條數個個月都係我同阿妹孭哂嫁啦!一開始又係威係勢,話每個月比返六千蚊過黎,過兩個月又無撚左件事,我都無出聲啦!你重有乜野唔滿意啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAhnD7mko66S
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一個家族關係復雜惡劣,原因有很多,但大多數都離不開與錢有關,我的也不例外,有個仆街阿哥,人渣大嫂,唔出聲的阿妹與兩個長期病患的老父母,問題就會自然地出現。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAHOb1NFfAG0
1007Please respect copyright.PENANApjpQbr4Erz
那個貪得無厭,以為老爺奶奶有無限金錢的西婆大嫂,立即以她那八婆到不得了的尖聲向我開火:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA2mckpt7wX6
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAIKCHQj4vMu
「你要供樓咩?你有仔要養咩!?你估我地生活易過嫁?兩個仔,一個工人,兩架車重有層樓,樣樣都要錢!你做M記做高層又單身無負擔,老豆老母緊係你養啦!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAnGWFIv3oGz
1007Please respect copyright.PENANALdZL6PEAV4
她振振有辭地說出以上的話,除了嘔心還很摟屌,但我相信佢個西一定會比把口更臭,所以真係不屌為妙。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAm5b7SLtUwU
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但當然我也不會像阿妹那樣默默低頭,所以我馬上就屌鳩佢一獲金:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA0aEkZcDwhv
1007Please respect copyright.PENANA7tobg3VZhn
「你層樓都係老豆老母比首期你先有得供炸!工人又係你自己要請既,車又係你自己買既!好撚辛苦啊!?邊撚度苦啊?睇過?睇過?屌你老母!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAfFiPMVvs3N
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Copper見狀,點支雪茄向我搭訕:「有乜野唔高興啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAOQrnygTzVO
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAoNpJmpRVmL
死鬼佬,你唔見我正在屌緊個八婆嗎?屌開有條路,我馬上就向他開火:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAV64XKKfzi4
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「關你撚事!死鬼佬,你想點啊!?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAufsLyznz97
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面對我惡劣的態度,他呼一口煙,冷靜地向我解釋:1007Please respect copyright.PENANA7TgBbnpxIr
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「阿波,我話你聽,成功既人生在於兩成既實力,三成既人脈,同五成既運氣。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAAwnIvH6bSZ
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAuFKv7jztN9
我完全唔知他在噏乜鳩,然後一頭問號地追問:「下?你講乜撚野?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAinS3jJMjrw
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAsADFWHFikM
大門方向突然傳來一連串爆炸聲,一望過去,盧卡斯騎著他的綿羊仔,越過一炸又一次的爆炸,最後穿越爆風,威風凜凜地從大門傳來的光輝飛出來,在半空停留整整一秒在面前降落,然後激動地跟我說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAIQFaCNSnTC
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「波叔!快D走啊!Jordan Bieber要隊冧我地啊!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANArQVS8hqpHW
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這種危急時候居然還會回來救我,盧卡斯真是一個可以信賴的年青人。1007Please respect copyright.PENANATySDOQmcqu
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我立即向他了解情況:「你同Jordan Bieber傾過D乜鳩野要搞到佢又放火又殺人啊!?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANADvfdutDpia
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「唔好理啦!總之快D走左先啦,YO!」他立即回答道,看來情況真的非常危急。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAmjq2sAtU0l
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但我還是要屌他一下:「屌你老母可唔可以唔YO啊!?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAkjAQRZldu7
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一上車,謝多燕大叫:「波波!小心啊!!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANADNwqzSPdkr
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但四周看,都不見有異狀,屌你在玩鳩我嗎:「下?乜鳩野小心?又有外星人?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAC2B2Hu46Mb
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這個痴線婆居然回答:「係啊!!老公佢原來係外星人黎嫁!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA12wCHkLiyR
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我頭暈一暈,不知該怎回答這個痴線婆好,這個時候,托洛斯基從遠處跑過來拉著我說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAx0GGPN4viF
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「現在我們要一起做愛!只有精液和高潮才可以對付萬惡的外星人啊!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAeRw1LojLjq
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好鳩核突!我立即再向他的春袋來一腳!1007Please respect copyright.PENANA8ceKGFOCGQ
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「啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊……!!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAm8T06aAARi
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托洛斯基立即倒在地上怪叫打滾,然後謝多燕在另一邊拉著我,裸著全身地求我:「黎啦,波波。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8Vtssc0On
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我反射性地問:「係度做?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAY9jPUkOLXP
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雄哥立即屌鳩我:「做乜撚野啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANASm4d7UMUQu
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雄哥正站在我旁邊喝著支大支裝的青島,我凝望著他,對自己的存在感到懷疑地問:「雄哥?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAufPXvVURc3
1007Please respect copyright.PENANANPb0j5UGrJ
「屌你老母望乜撚野。」他又再度屌鳩我,過去已試過無數次,所以我表現得很平靜。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZzMbXZUR5g
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「無望乜野。」說罷,我立即移開視線,望向頭頂的夜空,我認得這一切,開始意識到自己身上正發生什麼事。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAywZZQiskkH
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他大力吹一口青島,再笑著問我:「你好撚驚啊?」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAIEuysb0mq2
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我按情節回答:「無啊,男人老狗驚乜鳩野!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAbhRQsZIYAH
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雄哥聽罷笑得不羈,像個漢子一樣,然後以響亮的聲線安撫還是少年的我:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAhwHgExtDBb
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「屌,淆底咪認囉,砍友有邊個唔淆啊。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAjHDzThDIJf
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面對前方不遠正有三十人持刀接近,其實我很淆,但我依然不識死地回答:「我真係唔撚驚喎!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAqP3bgz8ngF
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「而家D後生真係唔知死。不過唔緊要啦,死得早都有死得早既好處既,比我揀,我後生寧願死得轟轟烈烈,都唔要on99到老係醫院要插撚住條喉等死。」1007Please respect copyright.PENANAO5cIhwHYGd
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAXnmfPSoc8J
他將喝完的青島掉到老遠,落在敵陣面前,為一場大戰敲鐘,敵我兩方立即衝向對方,但雄哥眼光並無畏懼,只是輕輕點支煙說:1007Please respect copyright.PENANAXWwAGDz0u8
1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZgHdBFQ19u
「條命幾長又有乜緊要,我就話,做人最緊要夠威!最好就威撚到關二哥咁樣!你話係唔係先!」1007Please respect copyright.PENANA44s5QiycSr
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說完這句,他就丟下我,衝前加入混戰。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAKUiDEBo3Ni
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這個時候,我也張開眼,正式結束這場夢。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAYN8Tnk0Ij1
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一覺醒來,房間漆黑一片,全身骨頭與關節七零八落,每動一下都發出令人精神爽利的「卡啦」聲,可是肌肉卻不怎麼爭氣,用了足足十分鐘我才開始重拾身體的感覺。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAY71Xy7kYxb
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用上九牛二虎之力,我總算重獲身體的控制權,成功從躺臥形態起來,坐在床上,注視在黑暗中的時鐘,現在正正三點鐘,見窗外無光就知現在是凌晨時份。四周再注視,沒有正打飛機的盧卡斯,看來我已回到一個正常的世界。1007Please respect copyright.PENANA5jmCrS02Ck
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但何謂正常,何謂現實?這個問題誰都不能肯定。莊周夢蝶是莊子夢成蝴蝶,還是蝴蝶夢成莊子?鬼知道。同樣地我也不能肯定自己正身處在現實,還是在另一個夢當中。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAKqFCGPDqc8
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我們的現實可以像一張廁紙,也可以像一塊鐵板,它可以是是非常不穩定,也可以是異常的紮實,當中的關鍵就在於,你如何面對自己的現實。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAlq5mphnaEW
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對我來說,即使是夢還是現實都好像鐵一樣堅固,所以我一個月也至少發兩次清醒夢。雖然不能肯定,但有一點能讓我分辯夢與現實,就是……訓得醒既咪係夢囉豬西!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAMIKcUoh1QP
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落床後,我沒有屙到一篤大屎,尿倒是有一篤,只是正常份量,不多不少,就好像正常起床所屙的尿一樣,不同在於黃過平時好很多以及臭好很多。1007Please respect copyright.PENANA6lv8UoxcDu
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如廁後,我才看看Iphone,確認現在的時間,我已睡了兩日,雖然不是夢中盧卡斯所說的四日三夜,但已經好鳩誇張了。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAxgsSsmym5V
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兩日無東西落肚,摸摸肚腩發現自己好像瘦了一點,證明節食有助減肥,但我不是黑熊,沒有冬眠下去的打算,也沒有節食下去的打算。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6mdY9spEj
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現在我就只是好撚肚餓!1007Please respect copyright.PENANA0DIZkL6xgD
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整間屋都沒有乾糧,唯一可以旨意的就只剩下盧卡斯的雪櫃,事前我已沒什麼期望,一打開,結果真的不出我所料。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAEP8pYU8GXw
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真的一件可以吃的東西也沒有,只有約二十罐清一色叫Dr. Pepper的不知名汽水,所謂飢不擇食,我想也不想,立即就開罐一飲而盡。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAQhWsrIRqQC
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一飲落去,屌你老母!!1007Please respect copyright.PENANADzArG7cae3
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好鳩難飲,就好似藥水一樣!鬼佬品味果然好有問題!!1007Please respect copyright.PENANAAzNBMYtqan
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知道這間屋裡沒有希望,我立即出門,向半夜的芝加哥尋覓新的希望。1007Please respect copyright.PENANAlmEDPN7ipe
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