回到工作地方,幹著十多二十年相同的工作,如果我想的話,我用一小時左右已能做好一天的事情,如果我連這個也做不到的話,枉我是個四十五歲的區經了。1020Please respect copyright.PENANA9onZ4xPUug
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAwAwoAFQCcO
而且,大部份瑣碎項目我都會交給阿權做,阿權是副區經,是我的得力助手。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAAaEp4UD8NQ
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAHf1Imbd8aD
但阿權同時是我一生中最痛恨的人,他除了終日想我早死之外(因為我死了,他順理成章就會晉昇成區經),另外他做過一件我無法原諒的事情。當然表面上我們相處融洽、共同進退,我們甚至被下屬稱呼為「杏加橙二人組」,這個名字好似「達明一派」,我想,如果我們不是區經和副區經,我們會是黃耀明和劉以達。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAoAi2Z6sxVU
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAOaKWhmZfoi
還未到中午,我已把手頭工作做好,剩下的時間,我會用來調查「魚柳包」的真相。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAJyPj6ns3sr
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAx5rQZlYNQ5
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAqrkRW6vXlh
「果個乜鳩志宜家係唔係都攪緊依壇野?如果佢果日係無鳩聊聊問下,事後又冇撚左件事,咁我咪好戇鳩?」1020Please respect copyright.PENANACsFTalnCwo
1020Please respect copyright.PENANACnXFhTCL2a
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAenDIgwJuUv
「戇鳩?」沒有問題,反正我一生都做了不少「戇鳩野」。人類又有誰「唔戇鳩」?1020Please respect copyright.PENANAL1PyTjf4sr
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAJkaoef5MYb
你會話,奧巴馬唔戇鳩!劉華唔戇鳩!李嘉誠唔戇鳩!咁梁振英戇鳩掛?董建華戇鳩掛?1020Please respect copyright.PENANAGcEI7YMbLC
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAiKzUItKNVU
「你戇鳩!我戇鳩!你戇鳩!我戇鳩!」從前有隻枚也是這樣猜的。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAuJjASR3oWp
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAhi7gvnSXhU
1020Please respect copyright.PENANALmrDiiC1KX
戇鳩的我打開電腦,進入總公司那戇鳩的網頁,開始查閱只有區經以上職員才有權限閱讀的戇鳩資料,找尋關於魚柳包芝士尺吋的問題。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAxBFSm5X8GF
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAx2HiflFLTJ
調查結果如我所料,根據單據紀錄,公司的魚柳包一直都是用「半塊芝士」做的,從一九七五年第一間M記在香港建立開始一直如是。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAM8kIq3CzBu
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAfhlFYke00a
「係咩……?」我這樣反問自己。1020Please respect copyright.PENANA7hKAs29k4O
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAb8agkHn3a4
我努力回想起過去二十多年腦中關於魚柳包製作的印象,對!曾幾何時,我是親手用一塊芝士做過魚柳包的。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAGAahBMErzr
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAc7hydK9QHx
再查閱其他資料,由於成本效益問題,公司食材的尺吋一直有所變化,例如盛載薯條的硬紙盒容量在2001年暗中減少了百份之五、上世紀八十年代後漢堡扒的直徑也縮小了百份之七點四、面包比從前更鬆軟是外判商加入了雙倍的發粉、蘋果批的長度也比上世紀短了百份之十,早晨全餐的炒蛋也由上年九月開始減少了百份之十四……等等。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAWwlDuXSI3t
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAfcEuTjvWzU
但無論公司如何透過「偷工減料」增加盈利,總會有跡可尋,留下數據在電腦資料庫裏。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAuNNgPADOpj
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但魚柳包偏偏沒有。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAnj4o7JZAqI
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAm3Im94I4Dy
即是說,如果公司從前用過一塊芝士做魚柳包,某年某月改用半塊的話,這個日子我應該可以在資料庫裏查得。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAtHRIophiyd
1020Please respect copyright.PENANA2NzzsK2VKb
但一切我看見的資料和單據都告訴我,魚柳包從來都是用「半塊芝士」做的。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAm8lK0HQHCu
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAkymSHuu9ga
問題來了,公司所有材料改動的數據都被機械性地保存下來,唯有魚柳包芝士尺吋的變化被刪改?1020Please respect copyright.PENANA1zrw2kzXoC
1020Please respect copyright.PENANA1myPAf9UOY
當然還有一個可能性,就是我和那個「乜鳩志」都記錯了,世上從來沒有一塊芝士做的魚柳包存在過……1020Please respect copyright.PENANAgIiLwfCjh0
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午飯時間,我和阿權去了「大X樂」食特價飯。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAcMtONKTbhF
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAlYgOwcp3m5
我將我早上做的東西和他分享,阿權就這樣說:「波叔,我諗你要返大陸屌多D西,咁可以唔諗咁多無撚謂野!有人話太多精響碌鳩處人會痴撚線!」1020Please respect copyright.PENANAL7Ln5R3IPl
1020Please respect copyright.PENANACieLj39Ub5
阿權把口好臭,一直如是,我想在他三十六年的人生裏,所說過的「性器官」數量會比他體內的細胞多。1020Please respect copyright.PENANA4vw8WefDZR
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAIKJffK7x8Z
然後他繼續說:「屌你老母講開屌西,波叔,記唔記得果個留羊咩鬚既飛哥,佢執鬚仲濃密過西毛果個呢,尋晚我同飛哥去左觀塘襟鐘仔,屌你丫,插破西皮無力處,得來全不費功夫!咁都比我撞到隻一線西……哇!一線西呀,幾撚罕見呀!如果男人碌撚有八吋開外叫百人斬,咁女人有一線西就係終極武器勒!屌你老母!」1020Please respect copyright.PENANAglI0di9DJq
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAhNIma5Lyts
我感覺很寂寞,我的人生有十份一就是和阿權口中的「性器官」和「屌你老母」中共同渡過的。1020Please respect copyright.PENANA6g2JjW0XEC
1020Please respect copyright.PENANAgDFA4jbsne
大概由於被阿權這樣以「西、鳩、撚」等「性器官」把我魚柳包的龍門搬走,我更加決定不放棄,我會繼續查下去。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAaYpXChkydw
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1020Please respect copyright.PENANA3fcAazmcgV
過了幾天,我用盡一切方法調查,事情再沒有任何進展,就彷彿魚柳包一存在,就只有半塊芝士伴隨於世,這時候,我想到去美國的念頭。1020Please respect copyright.PENANA2QTF8n0RZb
1020Please respect copyright.PENANApHpw1uMg9p
我填好假紙,Fax去總公司人事部。我要用我儲了三年的二十一日大假去美國更深入調查魚柳包事件。1020Please respect copyright.PENANAKUUJf11Zky
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臨走前,我要做多一件事-----1020Please respect copyright.PENANAVzKfGH3qGI
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我要殺死阿權,胡紹權我屌你老母!