無驚無險,又到六時半,在不知不覺之間,我已經逛了巴別塔近五個小時之多,中途不論仆街TB,超級駭客,甚至乎飛機頭都沒有進過來接近我房間一帶的地方。901Please respect copyright.PENANA7CDYUK5ufd
901Please respect copyright.PENANAb2RVSK8EQs
就似是上天也感受到今晚將會發生一場暴風……所以特別為我準備一段漫長平靜一樣。901Please respect copyright.PENANARfemKrXcuz
901Please respect copyright.PENANA90UALAmplZ
經過今次長時間的詳細巡察,我才發現巴別塔有一個重大問題,就是分區問題,目前巴別塔就只有主討論區:【巴別塔討論區】,以及其分區:【巴別塔App談天區】。901Please respect copyright.PENANA3IXxOKP4z0
901Please respect copyright.PENANAWabGLH6vXM
在區域上,我參考了埃利都的做法,就是談天區的所有帖子都能在主討論區看得到,相反談天區就只能看到自己區內的帖子,以方便會員尋帖及增加每個帖的觀看率。901Please respect copyright.PENANAtvkz22cGNu
901Please respect copyright.PENANAZMxvWqTxYJ
細心觀察下,首先巴別塔的人流已經上升到「一個不錯的水平」,帖子變得多元化是必定的,其次帖子的流動也變得急速,因此要找到某個帖子有時也是不容易的事。901Please respect copyright.PENANANwJRPV3zS8
901Please respect copyright.PENANA0EEfgnLd4M
毫無疑問,現在是擴展的好時機,多開幾個分區對會員來說也算是個不錯的消息。901Please respect copyright.PENANAVsxUGi0eeO
901Please respect copyright.PENANAFfhFmE3wKB
但過多的分區又會使會員分散,所以這個舉動我必須慎重地決定。901Please respect copyright.PENANAfZZcfZ71Hf
901Please respect copyright.PENANAAaSV9z8eUm
901Please respect copyright.PENANAaivRhFUSw3
想到這裡,開往香港仔的巴士已經到達,我跟著大堆社會的齒輪上到一個奸商所製的超細罐頭裡。901Please respect copyright.PENANAC5OFJDjRE9
901Please respect copyright.PENANA3ffe4yW7sz
車上的人多得過份,而且非常擠逼,搞得身為堂堂巴別塔創造主的本人像條誤闖沙甸魚群的海豚一樣,真失禮。901Please respect copyright.PENANAQIoxULZ95s
901Please respect copyright.PENANA263ZB66IkV
一上到車,所有人都各自瞬速找個位置坐下,好死不死,到我選位的時候就只剩下兩個「關愛座」……901Please respect copyright.PENANAiC0yEsVAxU
901Please respect copyright.PENANAp4S4Cj0Mm6
不知是哪個屎忽鬼想出這種鬼主意,明明只要有心,個個都是關愛座,為什麼要搞出這種特權意味甚重的「關愛座」啊?901Please respect copyright.PENANAdmCli9RVqp
901Please respect copyright.PENANAy9O46XjnC2
唉……算,一句到尾,現在這個時候究竟叫我坐還是不坐好?901Please respect copyright.PENANAG3uR4LMbe9
901Please respect copyright.PENANAaw4VB54Udk
考慮不夠四分一秒,一個龐大的身影在我旁邊閃過,二話不說就坐落我的兩個其中一個目標上,然後以滿口鄉音的廣東話大聲說:901Please respect copyright.PENANAuO7sa7Vldj
901Please respect copyright.PENANAOx6NI3WnRK
「阿霞!依度重有位啊!」901Please respect copyright.PENANAieldj88TzD
901Please respect copyright.PENANAbwcCIIISB7
她說完這話,我望一望她,是一個臉部肌肉已習慣黑面的疑似師奶物體,應她的召喚,一名微胖的中年女性忽然出現,二話不說就將我撞開,一下坐到另一個「關愛座」。901Please respect copyright.PENANArivyM6fFe8
901Please respect copyright.PENANACdEdnAgawf
二人半眼都沒看過我,完全把我當成透明,將搶位置的事當成理所當然一樣,愉快地開始自己的話題:901Please respect copyright.PENANAOtly6xJeVx
901Please respect copyright.PENANAfqfRLrn07j
「嘩,馨姐,真係唔該哂你啊!你真係快手既姐!」901Please respect copyright.PENANAmwdx5bt3Y0
901Please respect copyright.PENANAaQGI0l9gT6
我亦無謂站著阻到後面魚貫而進的其他乘客,快快走進後面的深處找個位置站好。901Please respect copyright.PENANA6c02XmYqA4
901Please respect copyright.PENANAnRmD0xaUrK
可是兩個阿姐的閒談響遍全車,聽來實在比地盤噪音更令人心煩:901Please respect copyright.PENANAo1qLKPIPAj
901Please respect copyright.PENANAPe4ctvqEAk
「哎喲,唔好咁講,係喇,你知唔知之後阿蓮佢啊……」901Please respect copyright.PENANAznaLUdCklI
901Please respect copyright.PENANAcKUDxyoDVm
「才!咪係度講埋依D野啦!」901Please respect copyright.PENANA5oKfgKgGzC
901Please respect copyright.PENANAWBMeIisM6k
「Black top blazin', hometown fadin'901Please respect copyright.PENANAPIH9PrEaoc
Out of sight in the rear view mirror901Please respect copyright.PENANAC3pCQCG3Yb
Stevie Ray blasting on the radio901Please respect copyright.PENANAq1Veutq8Qz
As I slam it into higher gear」901Please respect copyright.PENANAS3olO5YTHK
901Please respect copyright.PENANAwggKX6PLCn
當然兩位阿姐不會忽然說起英文來,這是我為了逃避兩隻怪物噪音而戴上耳筒所聽到的歌曲。901Please respect copyright.PENANA7GN82xLM2s
901Please respect copyright.PENANALeMCtEBrU7
不久,巴士也上滿人了。901Please respect copyright.PENANA6XUJFgkg6C
901Please respect copyright.PENANALOm9B7hX5I
它立即開動,啟程將我帶到籬漫著迷離黑霧的神祕島——鴨利洲,對岸一個叫香港仔的地方。901Please respect copyright.PENANANFZRIoKxN4
901Please respect copyright.PENANAjnxhp8wyJB
901Please respect copyright.PENANAloJLSF50Ln
經過了廿幾個站的旅程,加上中間路況不算暢順,讓我花了足足近四十分鐘才到達目的地。901Please respect copyright.PENANA7bj8OZGlwN
901Please respect copyright.PENANATsBj2HDrMS
香港仔這個地方我來過好多次,其實細妹之前也提過,就是因為我有個住鴨利洲的姑媽。901Please respect copyright.PENANA3VVQLufbeS
901Please respect copyright.PENANAubt323Cxh3
姑媽,即是我老豆的家姐,相比老母那邊的超級大家族,老豆的可說是非常迷你,只有三兄弟姊妹,姑媽最大,老豆排第二,下面還有個姑姐。901Please respect copyright.PENANAgn867OedoH
901Please respect copyright.PENANAECw0LoJD7d
整體來說,我對這邊的親戚並沒什麼反感,至少他們都很識做,新年利是夠大封,又不會問三問四,點到即止。901Please respect copyright.PENANAhf1nGOIxEd
901Please respect copyright.PENANAaXMZxU6YlI
而老母那邊……唉,不說了,反正只是題外話,而且一個十二兄弟姊妹連帶無數表親的巨型家族,我保證當中的八卦是複雜得任何人都不想去理解的。901Please respect copyright.PENANA5aqmi2Cmeu
901Please respect copyright.PENANACNMmFqjN68
除非我是某個大集團家族的富二代,或是將前額剃光,變成某個清朝的皇族吧。901Please respect copyright.PENANASycJAfWLCW
901Please respect copyright.PENANA2aeKtNSt6G
說來有點離題了,也許我應該說回姑媽的事。901Please respect copyright.PENANAWBfmlZtcOz
901Please respect copyright.PENANA7L5xlzv8zy
別與老母那邊的親戚相比,單單與其他我遇過的所有人相比,姑媽肯定在我頭十個最尊敬的人當中佔一席位。901Please respect copyright.PENANAemERTimOte
901Please respect copyright.PENANAhqr777htmG
她是個了不起的女人,在擁有不錯的事業同時,也擁有美滿的家庭,兩個兒子在她教育下,都有著不錯的成就,而且為人大方,每年新年給我的利是都大封得很。901Please respect copyright.PENANAWwdys6ASyK
901Please respect copyright.PENANAQD3x7zkcrF
但我已經好幾年沒見過她,也沒有收到大大封的利是,原因很簡單,因為她已經病死了。901Please respect copyright.PENANAGPbM0rmHF7
901Please respect copyright.PENANABUamGEdUki
隨她去世後,她的大兒子音訊全無,聽說不知去了哪裡流浪。而小兒子則娶了個日本妹,與姑丈移民到日本開始新生活,她本人就選擇了海葬,隨海水遊遍世界。901Please respect copyright.PENANA8N5P6FeAkW
901Please respect copyright.PENANAe9kP6ALyCW
所以現在留在鴨利洲的,除了一些回憶外,就只剩下他們曾住過的單位。如非南華早報的事,我接下來的人生,大概都不會再踏足這個地方。901Please respect copyright.PENANAzWC5YfqvQm
901Please respect copyright.PENANAC3TmxtVsBr
在回想這些事情的期間,時間已來到下午七時五十三分,而我在南記總店大門已等了差不多十分鐘,第一個巴別塔光明會的成員終於出現在我眼前,他就是Moscow killer,對他的外表,我還是只有「平凡」兩字可說。901Please respect copyright.PENANAhe0wiYdsrc
901Please respect copyright.PENANAuV4RS4WtAU
由於大部份溝通上的工作都是由四眼仔負責,作為巴別塔創造主的本人,理所當然就只是負責決策。901Please respect copyright.PENANAsVeAt9syeh
901Please respect copyright.PENANAEBJS8mtftr
因此,一直以來,我對於巴別塔光明會成員的溝通都只局限於「有意義」的內容,簡單點來說,我們之間其實絕少,不,應該是根本完全沒有閒談。901Please respect copyright.PENANAXsDuYQsNVr
901Please respect copyright.PENANAMUI45GGMpy
所以這一刻,我們見面後除了簡單打個招呼,就什麼都沒有說了,然後沉默地並站在南記的門口,等待其他成員。901Please respect copyright.PENANAMiJiIBD0EC
901Please respect copyright.PENANAyo9bLkHyw8
見一時沒事做,我打開IPhone,看看巴別塔有沒有什麼有趣的東西看看。901Please respect copyright.PENANAIf4OhYh02b
901Please respect copyright.PENANALyI6Cn7RMA
結果,馬上就找到一個覺得挺有趣的帖子,標題是『[認真非吹水]我懷疑自己個仔同菲傭發生左肉體關係』,隨帖更附上一幅X凱琪的相片,讓我非常不爭氣地笑了。901Please respect copyright.PENANA1A36MdDrmL
901Please respect copyright.PENANAv85kT4z2xR
按下『reply』將帖子展開,內容如下:901Please respect copyright.PENANAGjDULrNoVj
901Please respect copyright.PENANAv3Dam5CZUo
「(NAME:鐵血外交官)901Please respect copyright.PENANArCgI7O22nU
是咁的,由於差唔多一年前果時,我老婆又開始返工,無乜時間做屋企野,一家三口,成間屋最常出現既就得我果個十五歲半既仔。901Please respect copyright.PENANABVnoCtgC7z
901Please respect copyright.PENANAU4O5Do7K5I
老老實實你叫佢得閒煮下飯,照顧下自己都還可以,但要個思春期既靚仔幫你做家務,我好清楚根本就係天荒夜談!901Please respect copyright.PENANAtkDGLOYPl1
901Please respect copyright.PENANAFgEW3BbTnE
所以唯一會惦掃把既我同老婆就成日為左家務既事鬧交。901Please respect copyright.PENANA5pdyMYgx65
901Please respect copyright.PENANACIiIcoIGUV
我老婆可能因為係公司受左d壓力,所以成日返到黎見到間屋有少少亂就對住我同個仔閪口閪面,又比說話我地聽,三日唔埋兩日就鬧交,搞到成日家嘈屋閉。901Please respect copyright.PENANADMOUvTivbH
901Please respect copyright.PENANAKQjiVXlyM1
於是我見屋企有D錢剩,個仔成日食公仔麵又好似唔係好健康,就把心一橫請左個菲傭返黎。901Please respect copyright.PENANAF5bmlZTgNt
901Please respect copyright.PENANAlRKESXCZAZ
可能男人天性係咸濕D,所以我下意識揀左個睇落幾大波又後生(當然唔只大波,睇紀錄知佢手腳乾淨,做野又快又熟手又勤力先揀佢架炸)既菲傭返黎。901Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9Zw9dkWYB
901Please respect copyright.PENANAWZSWoNzXlG
點知佢第一日黎到,我即刻眼都凸埋,屌你佢對波簡直大鳩到痴撚線,阿叔見慣唔少大場面,但都忍唔住吞左幾啖口水。901Please respect copyright.PENANA8CkcDG8plO
901Please respect copyright.PENANAHPGFkQznkq
不過算,我好清楚自己唔鐘意食朱古力,見佢又勤力又有禮貌就由得佢啦(無可能因為個菲傭太大波所以炒佢架嘛),咪比次機會人囉。901Please respect copyright.PENANAbBRPyQ8kNo
901Please respect copyright.PENANADyREOsKNiM
咁佢做到而家一直都無乜問題,老婆又煩少左,日日返到屋企有飯食,就結果黎講都幾完滿啊。901Please respect copyright.PENANAjkjcUKGlee
901Please respect copyright.PENANArGAhxeKhu0
點知我琴晚半夜屙尿既時候發現有個Condom係馬桶入面,應該係上一手無留意沖唔走。901Please respect copyright.PENANAuiZABdutIu
901Please respect copyright.PENANAbHPpo1pQaX
全間屋得兩個男人,咪話我先入為主,我有無扑過野我自己最清楚啦。901Please respect copyright.PENANAM5M3TXTphj
901Please respect copyright.PENANACPr0in3Sh9
咁係我好肯定自己無扑過野既前題下,你話個Condom係邊個留低既,無論如果我都只諗到一個人,就係個衰仔……901Please respect copyright.PENANAbw4tUQV7aA
901Please respect copyright.PENANALVPklHrdQK
雖然鐵證如山,但我依然選擇呃自己其實琴晚係發夢,不過今朝食早餐既時候我先發現原來阿仔份早餐大份過我(明明我得一隻蛋,但佢有兩隻),佢又成日對住個菲傭笑笑口,舊朱古力又同佢打左個眼色,好明顯就有路啦!901Please respect copyright.PENANARs5sxK6RPS
901Please respect copyright.PENANAGFULvJPrIQ
各位巴打你地話而家點算好?我應該唔聲唔聲炒左個菲傭定點?」901Please respect copyright.PENANA3VgFUHQm0H
901Please respect copyright.PENANAY4GA6nptke
看罷我第一個感覺是,這篇帖主要是發泄對老婆不滿多於關心阿仔同菲傭有沒有扑野,不過他確實寫得真的幾新奇又過癮,加上標題也吸引人的眼球,所以得到不少回覆:901Please respect copyright.PENANAgFnUA5vVgI
901Please respect copyright.PENANA4O6QGn2aEb
「或者你個仔戴Condom打飛機呢?唔洗緊張喎。(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAwExpp9Ak3P
901Please respect copyright.PENANAt67gW8V5sy
「應該係你第二個人格好撚鐘意食朱古力,所以偷偷地襯你訓著走去搞鳩阿菲傭姐姐啊(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANA2zjuZX16D8
901Please respect copyright.PENANAevbwCU3Frk
「Fight Club!(NAME:快樂殺人狂)」901Please respect copyright.PENANASQX7RKxSf0
901Please respect copyright.PENANABJWlEwvFAC
「其實呢……無圖好難討論既,我識面相,可以幫你睇下佢個樣有無扑過野既跡象。(NAME:蘇民鋒)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAKRCHzZPIEV
901Please respect copyright.PENANAfPUw5rYH09
「屌你老母仆街仔,賓妹都岩?(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAZry60vrIEV
901Please respect copyright.PENANAHsbBthBSQ5
「其實賓妹真係好熱情,又乜撚都玩得,打真軍又得,後花園又玩得,識玩一定玩賓妹(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAJC0VXoOfmd
901Please respect copyright.PENANAhLKjRaFej9
「賓妹都有打手!?(NAME:K.Leo)」901Please respect copyright.PENANA3ntMnfnsWq
901Please respect copyright.PENANA1EiLOVenOk
「我覺得依條友應該真係屌過囉(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAljswPOi0YF
901Please respect copyright.PENANAu4346cMili
「樓主有無考慮過同個仔玩3P?(NAME:龍王哥)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAOyGHpFvvNA
901Please respect copyright.PENANABFTrg4wgI2
「賓妹唔係人啊?賓妹對波唔係波啊?圖呢!仆街!(NAME:簫風)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAbJrBf75zq0
901Please respect copyright.PENANAttUu8jgdYM
「簫風巴打真係痴撚線,連賓妹都唔放過,果然係我地戒J界既典範(NAME:無各)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAVKXVxA54BS
901Please respect copyright.PENANAl47iKBXnSp
「依個Post好明顯係黑暗戒J界既陰謀,想引一眾巴打一展龍威……901Please respect copyright.PENANAPVbbOdvYY8
Btw睇完篇野硬左,我係咪唔正常?(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANALcOqEHB943
901Please respect copyright.PENANA443hfLht2O
「認真既巴打,我覺得你應該同老婆商量下先,依個係一個好嚴重既問題。(NAME:無名)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAtGlL9ydgzT
901Please respect copyright.PENANAX6GH6GT2Xc
「大波賓妹,嘔(NAME:津巴布偉富豪)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAmpC4VQeH3N
901Please respect copyright.PENANALqJlVa7A9O
「成班大驚小怪,同賓妹扑野成撚日都會有架啦,我勸樓主咪鳩搞得太大啊,一陣比佢告鳩你個仔強姦你就仆街喇(NAME:VitoCorleone)」901Please respect copyright.PENANABpz8QcLVgq
901Please respect copyright.PENANAWhDakci87u
「其實咁既,我覺得係你份人比較小氣加埋有幻覺姐,最可以幫到你既係醫生,而唔係巴別塔啊。(NAME:叉雞飯)」901Please respect copyright.PENANAVpP37axBnH
901Please respect copyright.PENANA3NDd5Km5Hi
「首先我無可能貼一個同自己個仔扑過野既菲傭上黎,其次,我唔係痴左線,我好肯定真係親眼見到個Condom……」901Please respect copyright.PENANADzmQOVZLyM
901Please respect copyright.PENANABiUvqWoKOi
看這個來自樓主的回覆不到一半,我即被現實世界的一把聲音打斷:901Please respect copyright.PENANAHvqmd2JtOl
901Please respect copyright.PENANAIzhXs84V6n
「Hay,ABC,得你兩個炸?」901Please respect copyright.PENANASPpEtf8xkR
901Please respect copyright.PENANAuLDD8FtqUK
是四眼仔,望都不用望,單憑聲音就知道,看看時間,現在剛好是八時正,非常符合他準時的風格。901Please respect copyright.PENANA5v00pPEe1l
901Please respect copyright.PENANAdROOGaQnpb
我抬頭望向他,淡淡地回應:901Please respect copyright.PENANAuywqxEX6gn
901Please respect copyright.PENANAgXXIbtFDWf
「係啊,佢地都唔知有無時間觀念既。」901Please respect copyright.PENANAZVfvomHhgP
901Please respect copyright.PENANAOzXOzFLPHM
Moscow killer則繼續保持沉默,觀望住我與四眼仔的對話。901Please respect copyright.PENANAwcH3wyxzXh
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四眼仔聽到我的回應,馬上看看自己的手提電話,打開whatsapp重新確認資訊,再回答我的問題:901Please respect copyright.PENANAw1s1lVscz8
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「唔係啊,佢地話一早到左等緊你地喎。」901Please respect copyright.PENANA6F7UF9wHy5
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我左望右望,都不見其他人,垃圾筒裡都完全不見超級駭客的蹤影,於是反問四眼仔:901Please respect copyright.PENANAO38Z724lYn
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「下?咁佢地而家係邊?」901Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1ldOG2naW
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這個時候,Moscow killer居然主動插話:「唔通……」901Please respect copyright.PENANAcLRunQwWqT
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901Please respect copyright.PENANAnA4FnVX5XP
我與四眼仔立即望向他,期待一個不可思議的答案……901Please respect copyright.PENANAOZHsfpCAoh
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901Please respect copyright.PENANAu2EidfWOTV