688Please respect copyright.PENANAfaUfFxoFGE
688Please respect copyright.PENANAHra5rejBwd
從前,一個養過貓的朋友告訴過我,動物都有一種天性,就是:不作死就會死。688Please respect copyright.PENANAzePaMH2rQY
688Please respect copyright.PENANANA4tBpRXbE
起初我對他這句話一笑置之,始終我又無養寵物,關我撚事。那個時候我所領會到的反而是另一件事,就是人類真是好撚煩的動物,為求存在感,可以捉住其他人,不管對方意願如何,都不厭其煩地說同一番話一次,一次,又一次,真係煩撚過閪。688Please respect copyright.PENANA96uIHgaExe
688Please respect copyright.PENANAS3SQHg6v6t
不過事後,我卻發現那個人所說的話是有點道理的,更驚訝是這不局限於貓,其他有智慧的動物,甚至是人,都會有這個特性。688Please respect copyright.PENANAqGjYEjAW6E
688Please respect copyright.PENANAV3A3nWBhzk
最先讓我發現這一點,是在一個叫胡紹權的男人身上。雖然他是隻半人半獸的生物,也扑過小紅……688Please respect copyright.PENANAiFvJSYYiXx
688Please respect copyright.PENANABlRgbhtnf9
說起這件事,我再次感覺到自己真的已經原諒了他,要原諒一個人確實是不容易,最大原因是因為即使你已經原諒了一個人,也忘記了,又或是根本不知道自己是怎樣原諒他。688Please respect copyright.PENANAGmpj2OsXi3
688Please respect copyright.PENANAIkdJIp8pun
屌那媽,離題鳥。688Please respect copyright.PENANAeTZpMCocCt
688Please respect copyright.PENANAXgyNJzBPqW
說回阿權的事跡。話說是這樣的,公司有老鼠其實不是什麼祕密,也非什麼怪事,始終M記是一間餐廳,所以幾乎每間分店都會有,間中跑出一兩隻是很正常的事,為免牠們跑出店面,我們都會放三四個誘捕器而非用毒藥,要是吃了毒藥又臨時死不去,出到店面才反肚的話,可是會令我非常頭痕(雖然揹鑊的通常都是店長或一些小經理,但作為他們上頭既本人都要寫大一堆report)。688Please respect copyright.PENANA6sfSI8xVCn
688Please respect copyright.PENANAoDUm4zJISl
老鼠出現的問題是不會完結的,因為牠們總是源源不絕,而且無孔不入,可幸誘捕器總能好好發揮作用,一波又一波的老鼠家族通常一來到都好快會冚家剷。688Please respect copyright.PENANAlivhlYHiEY
688Please respect copyright.PENANADei1gKjEAb
但這只限於「通常」的情況下,因為有某些分店的鼠患是好鳩犀利的,可幸在我管的區裡就只有一間。688Please respect copyright.PENANA0RoiOUodpm
688Please respect copyright.PENANA57acNOaroI
老鼠的問題在這家分店一直沒有好轉,這與那裡員工的衛生程度有著好大關係,但這並非最大的問題,它的工作效率與服務態度等等都有著缺陷性的低落。688Please respect copyright.PENANAltCH0rO669
688Please respect copyright.PENANALcYGPKsKma
低迷是源自那店店長——Eric上位後才開始的。688Please respect copyright.PENANAxJy3mFKQqG
688Please respect copyright.PENANAgwIEzVwAKO
Eric是個約三十幾歲的風流自走炮(花花公子),全間店都是小妹妹又或者靚女,唔係青春就大波,唔係大波就長腿,總之個撚個都好鳩正。688Please respect copyright.PENANABDB677jg3q
688Please respect copyright.PENANAxdlCiIDHxs
所以保守估計,當中至少有五成員工都與他有著非一般的關係。就感覺上,我認為他請人回來是為了扑,而不是工作。688Please respect copyright.PENANApVeVekMNVy
688Please respect copyright.PENANAMHM1Ldopvz
雖然我可以耍些小手段讓他收皮,但我沒有這樣的打算,根本沒有必要為這個蛋散出太多力。688Please respect copyright.PENANAAT0UbJ7qz5
688Please respect copyright.PENANA8frUcPXCJ3
所以我心生一計去解決這個問題。688Please respect copyright.PENANAjOvQTJx7i1
688Please respect copyright.PENANA2LwLdJ3VGo
首先派我手下的粗口星人阿權每幾日屌佢鑊金(想起來,其實阿權都幾做得野,又識補位,是個不錯的副手。),然後我就得閒去同佢傾下計。688Please respect copyright.PENANAkCzBdLHKuY
688Please respect copyright.PENANAoaHFpZoT6e
一個唱紅面,一個唱白面,好快eric的情況就有好轉,手下的娘子兵發揮正常功能,也沒有串咀與黑面,實在可喜可賀。688Please respect copyright.PENANAsmgCKJdiMP
688Please respect copyright.PENANASpvpLFzZai
但低迷時期所積下來的老鼠大軍還是沒有解決,為了解決這最後的問題,我找個朋友訂造了一組「有入無出摩天輪式誘捕器」,它的最大特式是夠大,夠舒服。688Please respect copyright.PENANAjAUYfN9M2w
688Please respect copyright.PENANA2gtVtdDsxg
用法就是放入食之不盡的食物,讓籠裡像天國一樣,加上多個古怪的機關,使老鼠樂而忘返,引誘更多同類落搭。688Please respect copyright.PENANAEfEWMcudZD
688Please respect copyright.PENANAqm9L0tSMRt
引入這個裝置後,果然非常有效,第一日已經捉到五大隻老鼠。688Please respect copyright.PENANAgBC3OlRUJn
688Please respect copyright.PENANANKoaxyqk5p
而問題就在這個時候出現了。688Please respect copyright.PENANAXD0zoY58to
688Please respect copyright.PENANA2x1QdjJT3V
當晚我和阿權親自去檢查捕鼠的戰果,一拿出籠,店裡全女班的員工一見到裡面幾隻又大又肥的老鼠,無一不被嚇得尖叫。688Please respect copyright.PENANAgMJQiPZB7L
688Please respect copyright.PENANA4XqgfZ6oJ6
阿權聽到囡囡們的慘叫聲好像痴左線一樣,開始拎住個籠周圍嚇她們,隨後更玩到過鳩哂火,想捉隻出來向囡囡們展示自己的勇氣認叻。688Please respect copyright.PENANAiWkJtKFP1d
688Please respect copyright.PENANAIdTh2n4C3J
拎出黎唔係問題,只係佢拎住隻老鼠變撚到好似凱撒大帝咁,係咁將手上面隻野左舞右舞,之後重問班囡囡:688Please respect copyright.PENANAvFNzjfAZEW
688Please respect copyright.PENANAbDRPh5HqYt
「你地知唔知啊,以前我地窮起上黎捱餓果時啊,真係唔理得咁多,乜鳩野都好,有得食就食架喇!所以我以前連老鼠都食過啊。」688Please respect copyright.PENANAMkCCeIdvkF
688Please respect copyright.PENANAM6KAZStxRH
其中一個長腿妹即刻有少少驚又閪住面咁話:688Please respect copyright.PENANAtSUQ5Rt1QB
688Please respect copyright.PENANA2kyBZ6W70N
「我點知你係咪講真啊。」688Please respect copyright.PENANASuNcsMkZkJ
688Please respect copyright.PENANAE0fg8Io3lp
聽到依句,我就知下一秒會發生什麼事,唉屌,今次仆街鳥……688Please respect copyright.PENANA877DdiGo6m
688Please respect copyright.PENANACA7MeEuyKi
果然下一秒,我就聽到「炸~~~」一聲!之後就傳出令人心寒的「吱!」一聲長嗚,隨後是一眾女人的尖叫聲。688Please respect copyright.PENANA22VgR8wDyD
688Please respect copyright.PENANAD7wv9aG7Ke
屌佢老母個甩毛閪,條撚樣眼都唔眨就將隻老鼠掉鳩左落炸爐……當我走到過去想屌柒佢既時候,我聞到有陣重臭過爛屎既腐臭味。688Please respect copyright.PENANAfeXKvYW7u1
688Please respect copyright.PENANAQHSJJm2Z3E
再望望阿權,佢望住炸爐入面浮面的綠色泡,已經青都面埋,睇黎已經知道自己玩大左。688Please respect copyright.PENANAADrWsiVmvK
688Please respect copyright.PENANAW4rZKsoh4u
算喇,唔鳩緊要,我本來都無諗過即場屌佢,至少佢假假地都係我條靚,係依度算係一人之下,萬人之上。688Please respect copyright.PENANA4EVd8tN7kE
688Please respect copyright.PENANAEnkbUXHYZp
點知下一秒,我屌爆佢都母個閪!條友竟然比d屎味嚇到戇鳩鳩,亂左方寸,唔鳩小心整撚跌左個老鼠籠。688Please respect copyright.PENANAQdloZWbLdb
688Please respect copyright.PENANAsSelizNqjF
「嘭!」之後,就是我的一聲怒吼:688Please respect copyright.PENANAWlQEpZrKnx
688Please respect copyright.PENANAeyIbRWg0Yw
「胡紹權!我屌你老母,玩玩玩,玩乜撚野啊?」688Please respect copyright.PENANAO7kPmCH4hf
688Please respect copyright.PENANAsg3JUDdIDI
屌你老母!但屌黎都無用,個籠一落地,四隻老鼠即刻快過支箭閃人,已經追唔鳩返。好彩當時已經關店,否則真係大撚鳩柒閪鑊。688Please respect copyright.PENANAk7RtC5JK2E
688Please respect copyright.PENANAGzkOTuN27l
由於之前講過,在場我最大,而阿權又係我既人,所以我屌完佢一句之後,再無人敢亂講野,然後換左缸油,求其消個毒就當無事發生過。688Please respect copyright.PENANAb9AhDUdjJs
688Please respect copyright.PENANA7pDtintaUz
就這樣,屌完阿權一鑊金我在他身上真正明白到,乜野叫做「唔作死就會死」,然後才發現到,原來這樣的事每日都在自己身邊不斷重演著。688Please respect copyright.PENANAcu11kKMfQm
688Please respect copyright.PENANAAw4jzkNBmF
但我萬萬沒想到,去到今日,終於輪到自己親自奶野……688Please respect copyright.PENANAnVZLG8Qajm
688Please respect copyright.PENANAz3djQ3Cvbt
688Please respect copyright.PENANABay3emBxev
回到現在,回答完賣菜佬的問題:「In fact, I can't call this is a business. Because I am a M記 Manager.」688Please respect copyright.PENANAlJaWt75ASO
688Please respect copyright.PENANA4UxhGNkkYh
我感覺到一刻自己的心好像被抽乾一樣,下一秒心臟即時極速跳動,全身的毛管都如同人浪一樣從腳至頭,下至上豎起。688Please respect copyright.PENANAvEBwVEyYav
688Please respect copyright.PENANAtOdTPL6pgY
斜眼瞄到阿花那青綠色的咀臉,我即時將焦點抽開,然後又發現坐在對面的三人又呆著地望鳩住我。688Please respect copyright.PENANAlI8mh7RQUH
688Please respect copyright.PENANAmMZQUECZGx
也許我真的做了無法挽回的事呢……哈哈。688Please respect copyright.PENANAv7nOAlAvxz
688Please respect copyright.PENANAJ414UUsd3v
若有人嚴刑逼供問我為什麼要這樣做的話,我大概也不能真心說出個理由,因為我就是單純想這樣做,單純想攪屎棍啊……688Please respect copyright.PENANAIKVNYDXF7c
688Please respect copyright.PENANAqG4nePsBWM
不過,深入思考一下,也許這與我坐呆了,被冷落久了有關。人無聊起來的時候,往往都會做出一些爆炸性的事來獲得存在感。而我也是個人,所以難免會這樣……688Please respect copyright.PENANAaV3l67aTVH
688Please respect copyright.PENANAtRnTx9TDdI
但這樣屎忽痕一下,可能會撤底地害死我……又或是已經害死了。688Please respect copyright.PENANATZbhRml9vs
688Please respect copyright.PENANAzjE59F7wFm
下一秒,那個本來一臉冷酷的銀行佬臉色忽然變得唔對路,然後用名牌手拍抹抹額上的汗,有點緊張地問:688Please respect copyright.PENANARuFgjBUETw
688Please respect copyright.PENANAmFBrYqGDYL
「你怎樣可以證明自己真的在M記工作?(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANA62Tj8zqCkt
688Please respect copyright.PENANAE6KOZOrNSJ
這個問法和語氣都非常不自然,讓我有點錯覺,以為剛剛自誇是美園電腦創辦人,冒充「鏢雞」一樣。688Please respect copyright.PENANAXSqBQyHLRi
688Please respect copyright.PENANANUMZAz4HSO
簡單點來說,銀行佬的語氣是對一個衝大頭的人專有的質問。688Please respect copyright.PENANAgsmM0UC6LV
688Please respect copyright.PENANA8RCvZLEuPM
但我可只是如實回答,而且自報是個M記的經理,叫我該怎樣證明,該怎樣回答這個問題?688Please respect copyright.PENANATIC6Llc1Xo
688Please respect copyright.PENANAZrT8jLMAVh
唔通要我由做兼職整包開始講起?我唔認為佢會有興趣知道。688Please respect copyright.PENANAAAzDZhMaKk
688Please respect copyright.PENANA885H7yTUul
想不到緊接著這句話,一把老邁沉實的聲音卻忽然開口,似是叫住那銀行佬一樣:688Please respect copyright.PENANAAs5u1GTUle
688Please respect copyright.PENANA1Tr5gYBwdA
「貝克。(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANA0DecEtHOMO
688Please respect copyright.PENANAHv9lXsmo6E
聲音主人是跨國大企業「大貓重工」的超級高層,也是我所在這圍枱五個人裡面輩份最高,握權最大,說話最有力量的一個,先前大段時間,全枱的話題都一直圍著他作中心旋轉。688Please respect copyright.PENANAj03SutKnYK
688Please respect copyright.PENANA6DDF3DJ5S9
然後他又繼續保持著絕不含糊的語氣,緩緩說道:688Please respect copyright.PENANAZhQo7CUTP4
688Please respect copyright.PENANAOQRpQ3aJPT
「你這樣質問我們的朋友,實在有點失禮了。Mr Bob,請原諒貝克的失禮,他只是有點不知所措才會說這樣的話來。(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAetSckv8jQy
688Please respect copyright.PENANAKdIusrAHBw
喂,我有會錯意嗎?他這是在為我解圍嗎?一個跨國企業,座擁幾十億身家的超級富豪為我解圍嗎?688Please respect copyright.PENANA7WARTe9eo0
688Please respect copyright.PENANAyw1ecGThNm
讓我開始有懷疑,剛剛錯口介紹自己是超人或是蝙蝠俠了嗎?還是M記的經理原來擁有著與超人同樣的地位?688Please respect copyright.PENANAC0ADEg5Mhm
688Please respect copyright.PENANAT9euSieltz
不論是哪個答案都好,都是痴撚鳩線,讓人一頭霧水。688Please respect copyright.PENANAS0gkqzXODI
688Please respect copyright.PENANAlFvMLmu4BH
聽完大貓的一番話,沒有人敢開口說話,然後大貓又唱一口手上的酒,滿臉皺紋的他皺一皺眉,帶點善意的語氣問阿花:688Please respect copyright.PENANAY9BcO4fdon
688Please respect copyright.PENANAE2EGQWAtsu
「有點唐突,Mrs Chu啊,為什麼你不好好介紹這位貴重的朋友,讓我們都差點冷落他了。(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAYUfdxEcpnU
688Please respect copyright.PENANAJavcdp0MHK
我覺得自己應該被抬舉到一個不知名的程度了,又或是……我行走江湖多年的直覺好像帶來了另一個答案。688Please respect copyright.PENANAQNXlV5fZqu
688Please respect copyright.PENANALz1R2OGzii
一個人忽然客客氣氣,離不開只有兩個原因,一是示弱,二是保持鎮定。688Please respect copyright.PENANAHHBodRXedV
688Please respect copyright.PENANARaScHXwWmp
兩個情況都大多在講數時會見到。688Please respect copyright.PENANADFDydvy5CI
688Please respect copyright.PENANAiU1m4e6NJq
前者就是當其中一方被鏈住春袋的時候,反應離不開,不是發神經,就是表現得好客氣。688Please respect copyright.PENANAqw3Z94MUHD
688Please respect copyright.PENANAFc7EX1Fu9F
後者就是其中一方被另一方無意拋疾時,往往都會變得稍微客氣一點,保持鎮定觀望大勢,以冷靜應對。688Please respect copyright.PENANA5itOUdA8kN
688Please respect copyright.PENANAa6Xrh3wfZV
大貓應該就是後者了。688Please respect copyright.PENANAFF8BqMHP3q
688Please respect copyright.PENANAkmngREAhqp
阿花被這樣一問,也能保持鎮定,大方微笑地回答,不愧是個在大陸黃業打滾了十幾廿年的老江湖:688Please respect copyright.PENANAh2ryMz2tqK
688Please respect copyright.PENANAquQ04Bhwpv
「啊,抱歉,Bob不太常與我談討工作上的事情,而且我也不清楚他是否願意表明自己的身份呢。(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAwxCVNyYsEs
688Please respect copyright.PENANAG2eE9bXnX0
這是經過思考所得出的客觀,而且合理的答案。688Please respect copyright.PENANAPI0WMEW2sL
688Please respect copyright.PENANAeaFRbEbh0X
大貓點點頭,扶一扶自己的金絲眼鏡,將焦點轉到我身上,繼續保持著善意詢問:688Please respect copyright.PENANASBKhydIv1m
688Please respect copyright.PENANAd8je1DauQA
「來了位難得的朋友,實在使我久違地有點興奮呢。Mr Bob,可以讓我先問一個問題嗎?(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAuDt5N4aV1F
688Please respect copyright.PENANAjatXqNznxi
估計沒有錯,他明顯企圖試探我的底細,當然我也沒有拒絕的理由,必先搞清楚是什麼原因讓他不得不保持謹慎。688Please respect copyright.PENANAWFwshXohgL
688Please respect copyright.PENANAxEPLkCVZXA
「Oh…Why not?」我隱悔微笑,大方地答允。688Please respect copyright.PENANA0WVrvStqm9
688Please respect copyright.PENANANQMR3Rk9yo
然後,他單刀直入地試探我的個人立場以及意願:「你今天是以個人身份來的嗎?(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAGrovkBIBd0
688Please respect copyright.PENANAepwPwQy5EX
這樣問,很大原因是他希望得知我有沒有代表什麼組織來到今天的聚會,看來答案已經呼之欲出。688Please respect copyright.PENANA83v7Mr95L8
688Please respect copyright.PENANAw2lWuUyMCC
M記就是他們所避忌的。688Please respect copyright.PENANAM8sHGisyEQ
688Please respect copyright.PENANAMASozYfwSH
這是個必須慎重回答的問題,假如我表示自己是以個人身份出席,即可解讀成阿花將我這個重要人物邀請來,而我就變成了M記的暫時代理人。688Please respect copyright.PENANA11Y71eswEV
688Please respect copyright.PENANA5LlelB0WAm
在這個場合亂認代理人,可不會發生什麼好事,否認才是正確的答案:688Please respect copyright.PENANAysmVLKeyIk
688Please respect copyright.PENANAGoWWsSc2ak
「Ah, no, I'm just as Mrs Chu's companion to attend tonight's dinner .」688Please respect copyright.PENANAXKv7kYVKFY
688Please respect copyright.PENANAfFf4vyo4zL
當然大貓也沒有因此鬆一口氣,為下一步更探的鑽探做好準備:688Please respect copyright.PENANAPAaRhglZOp
688Please respect copyright.PENANARkNUfQKPOb
「噢,那就真的太可惜了。若給貴公司知道Mr Bob你來到了今晚的聚會,大概會做成什麼不便吧?(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAwJdjmmv6Rs
688Please respect copyright.PENANAdQKRNpIatJ
「No problem.」我爽快地回答。688Please respect copyright.PENANAhcv41wAf5e
大貓這隻老狐狸即是低調地笑一下,應該認為我是M記派來的斥候。他自覺得已經掌握到一定程度的情報,就稍微安心下來,就說兩句客套話:688Please respect copyright.PENANAhKGHTeHYsy
688Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8mV08uzNv
「多年來我都對貴公司所知不多……今天卻難得與你見面,實在難免勾起了一點好奇心呢。(英語)」688Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3KJYKLIYG
688Please respect copyright.PENANAT8wtTXRL1T
為免被進一步質問更多自己不知道的問題,也考慮到他們對M記好像保持著尊重又害怕的謹慎態度,我開始摸索到自己掌握著多大的權力,就決定大膽斬斷他的發問權:688Please respect copyright.PENANA4C0GdRQtXk
688Please respect copyright.PENANAPyoNRGrKjR
「I will like to join your conversation, but you should also know about my belongs enterprises, so I can not say more about this.」688Please respect copyright.PENANAu1g8YtJdt7
688Please respect copyright.PENANASA4qv1sWNN
說話當中,我盡量保持善意,留個好印象給他們,讓等等可以有機會隨意插話。688Please respect copyright.PENANA50Y4ujMQls
688Please respect copyright.PENANAib5UPjBKPA
我開始感受到M記就似是為我套上一身肌肉一樣,令我有本錢在今晚為所欲為,而且得到大大的尊重。688Please respect copyright.PENANAyWRVIE8yu0
688Please respect copyright.PENANARFvcxHhwjQ
可能阿花也注定到這一點,就在此時發言:688Please respect copyright.PENANAmvrfiuzis7
688Please respect copyright.PENANAdUbrIl0oUy
「也對,我們可不是來這裡談公事的,讓我們繼續放鬆放鬆,但抱歉,我們先失陪一會兒。」688Please respect copyright.PENANAaCGkYMkGyp
688Please respect copyright.PENANAUpyK6Hj3xy
從阿花的眼神,我知道她腦裡面已經盤算著大輪利用我M記經理身份找優勢的計劃,大貓點一點頭,我與她隨即離席。688Please respect copyright.PENANAgbl4w8xPbV
688Please respect copyright.PENANA2qEigRBvYx
離開大廳的時候,我微微回頭,才發現原來不只是我們所在的一枱,旁邊幾枱的人們眼光,都有意無意注視在我身上。688Please respect copyright.PENANAGbmo3rhKuI
688Please respect copyright.PENANAbzpl2hGJCu
看來M記應該有些不可告人的驚人祕密,但拜此所賜,令我這個M記區域經理都可以係共濟會有頭有面……實在係痴撚線!688Please respect copyright.PENANAwVtbzVzs6V
688Please respect copyright.PENANAkc9VSwaNlo
688Please respect copyright.PENANAWn8T5XyrqB
頂你個肺!捱左咁多年,總算捱出頭喇!今次我實有風駛盡利,惦鳩硬喇!!
688Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9ikqVaVb3
688Please respect copyright.PENANAn0bTrOHA0t