***Ross POV***
~present tense~
january
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A few things I’ve noticed with regards to Taylor and this situation, first is the nagging feeling I had months ago when Jay Gilbert Scott began digging his claws into her. Every now and again I would find them watching one another, and honestly at the time. I just thought it weird. Gilbert Scott is rich but uncouth and in no way her type at all.
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Reminding myself of how he had his face practically in her chest this morning as I ascended the steps up to my seat in the lecture theatre. Undoubtedly he has a way with woman, a way of treating them as if they are his world until he gets bored and moves onto the next one.
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But more importantly, I think to myself, as I sit by my fire in my bedroom compelling myself to go to her and hold her. There is something that I can’t quite put my finger on. A missing part. Something that would cause pain and quick hard fast decisions. Just like this one of her arriving on my doorstep.
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All the same I cannot fathom the entire story yet, so I pull out my phone and message Matthew. I make it clear that I would not take advantage or try anything especially whilst this is going on. Placing the phone on the side, I pick up my journal and write the thoughts down from my head.
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Before I read it back I know who I will be writing about; the girl laying in my second bedroom who just spent two hours talking to me about pride and prejudice. Despite the tragedy and the clear pain behind her eyes, I would be a fool to not admit that I love having her here. However it would be ungentlemanly to push myself on her, and so I won’t.
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Winding up the leather strap around the journal I place it down, strip out of my clothes before laying down in my bed willing myself to just sleep. Leaving my door ajar just in case. Tossing and turning a few times, before I sit up in my king bed and retrieve the smoking stuff from the side. It’s an awful habit, one I refrain from but I know I will not be able to sleep without having one funny cigarette considering who is in my house. Just a few paces across the hall from me, sleeping soundly.
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Lighting up I breathe in and relax, wondering what possibly could have happened within their relationship. I won't ask until she starts openly discussing it with me. Having brainstormed a few scenarios I surmise that the problem has to be Jay. He's been all over her like a rash, charming and doting on her. I'm going to have to try and keep him away, whilst she's not with Matty he will strike.
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***
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The fire having died, leaving my rather traditional house quite cold, I wake up in the dark checking the alarm clock and realising it’s one am. Stroking my hair back, I’m not used to the new shorter length of it but Rachel had commented on it telling me I looked more grown up and less skater boy. She made me laugh and so I’ve kept it short. I pull the sweatshirt on by the side of my bed hearing sobs from the other room as my heart breaks a little.
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Sighing I pull on some jogging bottoms telling myself that now is not the time to climb in bed with Taylor. Reminding myself of the message that I sent Matthew my best friend, as I cross the hall and head into the bedroom. Imploring myself to keep all of my promises to everybody.
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"Shh" I say softly sitting on the edge of the bed over the covers keeping my hands to myself.
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"It's okay" I whisper softly.
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"Sorry" she mutters grasping my hand in her own. Hesitating at first before stroking her hair back as she lays there in the dark.
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"Do you want some water" I ask her softly as she breathes through her crying.
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"No I'm okay, sorry for waking you" she whispers.
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"Stop apologising." I whisper, leaning back on the bed frame beside her telling myself that sitting next to her is no crime. Eventually her crying stops as I hold onto her hand. Her breathing steadies and she relaxes.
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"Ross can you stay" she asks me quietly, it’s a request I hadn’t anticipated. All the same I know that now I cannot leave her, even if I tried.
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"Yes sure" I say laying down flat on my back over the duvet, tucking it in around her and keeping my hands on my chest. I try to drift asleep and really the cigarette I had should have refrained me from waking up entirely. Yet now as I lay next to her with no hope of sleeping due to her proximity I am sure that being high is not the best idea.
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"Are you cold?" She whispers over to me, and she’s entirely right older houses are cooler and even though I’m dressed the fire has died in her room and I am practically shivering.
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"I get it you're being you, but I know you're not going to try it on. Don't freeze because of it" she says softly.
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"I'm fine Taylor" I say back rather quickly.
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Soon, her breathing changes and grows deeper, turning to face me in the bed with her eyes closed. I sneak a glance at her in the moonlight, her long lashes and pink lips. Long hair draped around her slender shoulders, taking one hand I delicately stroke a lock of her hair back as her arm reaches out for me and I know I should leave. Her hand rests on my chest.
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"Cold" she mutters half asleep and I chuckle thinking no babe I'm freezing I want my duvet. We have had more physical contact than this before, but now she's technically single and somehow it feels different to me. Most guys would jump at this chance. I can't however it's not right, I lay there watching her imagining kissing her and holding her all night.
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Eventually I pull the duvet over myself and lay facing her in bed where I sleep soundly.
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***
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Taylor lays beside me, the glow of morning light highlighting her skin as she sleeps soundly. Her head rested in my side, and her arm draped over my chest. She stirs stroking me half asleep her hands exploring my chest, and I just stare down at her absolutely frozen. Happy that I wore clothes and thick jogging bottoms I clear my throat. Feeling the warmth of her body, it’s literally what I've wanted for years.
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"Ross" she whispers opening her eyes, and I see it instantly the vulnerability and the need to be held.
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"I'm sorry for waking you up" she smiles slightly.
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"It's okay" I say hoarsely keeping my hands away from where they want to be. She faces me, in bed and her eyes look at mine with adoration. Like they always do.
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"You can stay as long as you want" I laugh to break the moment we're having and she eyes my chest. Harder still is that she is going to try it on with me because she feels insecure and delicate and she needs somebody. Her hands travel up my neck to my jaw and she pulls my face to hers. Of one thing I’m sure, I'm going to have to face the love of my life and knock her back.
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"We've known each other for how long Ross" she questions watching my lips her hands behind the back of my head.
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"Taylor" I say soberly.
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"You know I'm in love with you be fair" I remind her, ignoring the absolute uncontrollable urge I have to push her into this bed and have my way with her.
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"Thank you" she begins softly as she kisses my cheek.
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"For everything you do for me" she says kissing me again.
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"You always look out for me" she kisses me on my lips and I don't reciprocate. I don’t even move a muscle. Not even a millimetre of me responds to her lips.
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"And you make me feel safe" she says as she kisses my lips again and I moan softly, falling hard for her all over again and kissing her lips.
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"And so happy" she says and now we're kissing each other.
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"Taylor" I warn her as she kisses me her hands pulling lightly on my hair.
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"Mmm" she says softly.
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"Ross come on you told me you loved me and that we were supposed to be together" she argues, and I’m honestly sure that she is all over the place. Randomly hitting on me because she feels insecure and most likely because she spent the night crying over Matthew.
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"I'm here now" she whispers as I pull away from her, gaining my control and hiding how turned on I am. Her hands rest on the sides of my hips.
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"Okay fine" she sighs when I refuse to touch her back.
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"Am I that undesirable?" She gasps pushing her long hair back.
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"You know it's not that" I reply shocked.
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"Well what is it then" she asks me looking over at me, the pain and misery just behind her eyes.
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"Taylor it's the opposite, I don't want to take advantage of you, because you're upset" I explain.
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“Because you mean more to me than that” I say softly as she kisses me again her hands pulling my hips to her.
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"Okay let me thank you somehow for being there for me" she whispers and I'm so close to her.
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"You can do that by getting out of this bed, before you rush into anything. I want you Taylor, when you are ready to want me back completely. Now dress before I change my mind" I say calmly, man I am a good guy.
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She whirls out of bed and heads over to the oak wardrobe pulling out a pale blue shirt dress and white underwear, my mind can’t help but to imagine her in it before I walk out of the room, away from the racing images that fill my head. Like letting her get dressed in front of me before ripping her clothes back off as she smiles down at me and tells that I need to buy her a new dress. I smirk to myself and pull my jumper off in my room intent on dressing in a pale blue chenille jumper and chinos before driving her into university. I plan on parking next to Gilbert Scott so that he can get a good eyeful of her leaving with me later.
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