Jays POV
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"You're so fucked" Matthew says sitting with me outside the emergency room having just been stitched up. We both required a few stitches between us, but luckily none of our wounds will scar or need any further treatment. Matthew has just hung up on my phone and handed it back to me. Taylor didn't say goodbye to me and my head hurts as my gut is telling me I have some major making up to do.
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Right now though as I stare out into the reception and wait for my cab to pull up I need Matthew to stop being such an obnoxious prick, if I'm going to keep to my side of the bargain and not hit him again.
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"How did you do it?" He asks after a while. His tones changed. I look at him and realise I can't let her leave me. It's eating him up, not having her. Having her to hold every night, to talk to and to make love to. To cherish. I think of her and want her instantly. She didn't follow me to the hospital, and I understand why. She may leave me, she said no more fighting. I have disobeyed her expectations and she has every right to bail from my life. Most likely with Ross, she will collect her things and flee from our relationship.
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I glance up at Matthew and his expression is sour. Matty has been my for all intents and purposes little brother for years. I've looked out for him, taught him how to drink at parties. Taught him how to fight too, just knowing that we would end up brawling with one another one day.
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"Make her love you." He clarifies eyeing me coldly.
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"I don't know. Clearly she has her feelings all wrong" I say back to him as my fist swells.
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"She fucking loves you of all people. You know I really really wouldn't mind if it was Ross, because he deserves her but you don't Jay. You're going to just use her up and then you'll see some other girl and you will ditch her and hurt her" he says. I never realised how much he hated me. How much he despised the person that I am, or was before Taylor. I had imagined rather wildly that he idolised me, I've taught him everything he knows and yet he looks at me now with utter derision.
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"Not true" I say calmly wrapping my wrist up.
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"Oh and I didn't realise you were with both of them at once. Is that why Nina left you ?" He asks baiting me, Matthew had not been romantically involved with Nina but he had met her a few times. He had found Taylor and had consequently left the whole party scene for her instead.
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"Did she ask you about Nina?" I ask him interested as he scoffs.
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"Yes, good fucking luck. I told her I don't know shit. Yet another girl that loved you and you just ruined it all" he reminds me before standing up and eyeing a silver Mercedes.
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"I'll be there when you fuck up again, dickhead" he says over his shoulder as he strides over to the automatic doors and out into the thundering rain. Jumping inside the cab, I watch as my private car pulls in behind it, a black Audi. I retrieve my blazer swinging it over my shoulder before I rush through the downpour into the warmth of the cab.
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Nina. Nina indeed. I hadn't forgotten her name when Rach asked me earlier. She was nothing like Taylor. She was nothing to me, yes she loved me because I played the game and manipulated her feelings but I felt nothing for her.
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Nina thought I was exclusively with her, but I wasn't, I was with Jen at the same time. I saw both of them at once. They weren't aware of that though, I was an unimaginable ass. I remember the night clearly, a house party at Ryan's. Rachel instigated the stint as I followed the girls up the winding staircase to the first floor. The deed was done and Nina fell into my arms in love, only to be shocked by my apparent desertion of both her and Rachel afterwards. My need for my next high took over me, I was curious as to why Matthew wasn't flaunting Taylor his then new girlfriend at every party. And so I fled the party, recklessly driving my bike to Matthew's on the guise of needing some weed. I had laid eyes on Taylor for the first time that night, curled up on his small sofa like she had the world ahead of her. Eyes shining with love as she glanced at him only made me more sure of my need for something more in my life. I pushed the thoughts away initially, telling myself that the weed was hitting me and that I wasn't a settle down type of guy.
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However, I broke up with Nina the following day. She cried. A whole load of tears for me and I remember wondering how she could be so upset over me. I fled that scene too, her tears were worthless. They meant nothing to a guy that was only in it for the physicality of a relationship with her.
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Seated on the leather seats in the Audi I contemplate the awful decisions I've made, the horrible heartless man that I have been. I gaze down at the flowers I purchased from the hospital as Matthew sneered at me. Of course, I've never bought flowers for a girl before. So as I meandered around the buckets of bunches in the shop I laid my eyes on tulips. White ones that I hope she will like. The chocolates I picked up alongside them may help, a box with a taste card and a double layer of different chocolates.
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It's the longest drive to the lake house and when the voices in my head get loud I ask the cab driver whether I can light a smoke. Looking at me through the interior mirror he agrees nodding and smiling as he lights his own. I get the sense that he can tell that I'm on route to a heavy conversation, the shiner on my face and the flowers says it all as he talks to me about his life and I zone out. Thinking about her, my everything waiting for me at home. Jumping to conclusions in her head about Nina and Rach, two girls that meant nothing to me.
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Eventually after covering all of his mindless stories from when he was but a young lad going to parties, he relives his whole life story and recounts it to me before we arrive at my drive and I notice Ross' car parked up. Even worse will be if she leaves me tonight for him. The blonde bear.
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I thank my driver and tip heavily, despite not being the social chit chat kind of guy, I realise that he had tried his best to distract me from my overthinking and I appreciate that. Shielding the flowers from the rain that's sleeting down highlighted by the headlights of the car, I walk up to the steps to our home and open up quietly walking in. Leaving the tulips on the console table I head through the hall.
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The muffle of the flatscreen in the living room alerts me to their position as I hang my blazer over the hook to dry off from the rain. Dramatic music fills the speakers in the living room from the film, Ross glances up and eyes me as I enter quietly. Pacing over the parquet floor and over to them I instantly feel jealous, had I of not been such an idiot Taylor and I could have come home early and done exactly that together.
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"Thanks man" I whisper to Ross so as not to wake Taylor who is sleeping in his arms. The blonde bear I notice always does the right thing, he always keeps her safe and happy and he never ever fights anybody.
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She stirs and he lifts his arms so as not to touch her anywhere. Sitting up finally, she opens her eyes and grimaces.
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"It's the whisky" I say softly attempting a smile as she gazes down at my swollen hand in shock.
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"Your hand is swollen" she says hazily as I nod watching her eyes.
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"Ross thank you" I say to him as he stands up deciding to give us our space back.
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She traces his movements as he pulls his coat back on and heads for the door. Wordlessly she stands and it's the first time I've felt genuinely worried that she may walk out on me without a word. Clean break. Like I've done to so many girls. It's only fitting that I receive the same treatment.
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"Thank you" she says and hugs him closing her eyes as tears roll down her cheeks and I place my head in my hands. I cannot watch her leave me. I'm sure that their footsteps walk in time out over the marble floor in the hall and I imagine her placing her coat on and leaving me to my sorrow. It's a big ask to forgive somebody who has walked all over your expectations and failed them. I have let her down and so now she is leaving me be. I dare not open my eyes as if I look up and it's empty I might just smash stuff which is totally immature and stupid.
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The door clicks closed and I keep my eyes shut as tears fall loosely from them. Minutes later I feel her hands go around my neck, stroking through my hair. I begin to wonder how she so delicately walked back over to me without causing a sound or disturbance. When I sit up unbelieving she watches me and her face softens, wordlessly as she climbs on top of me on the sofa, each leg either side of my hips. Her maroon dress rising up as the fabric falls over her thighs. Long tendrils of curls swept over one shoulder and piercing eyes watching me as she wipes away my tears. The glow of her skin evident and the warm smile that erases my pain shining through.
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"You're in so much trouble, Jay" she whispers in my ear almost seductively, as I inhale the scent of her. My hands wildly holding onto her hips not allowing her a second to change her mind and leave me.
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Relief and excitement rushes through me as she kisses my neck slowly, her hands grasping at my trousers as she fumbles to pull them away from me.
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"You bought flowers" she whispers in my ear as I nod unbelieving at the sexual tone in her voice.
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"But first Jay, before you beg me to forgive you, I need something" she whispers sensually in my ear. This is a new level of seduction from Taylor, I like it. A lot.
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