Jay's POV
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Nothing feels different to me as I gaze at Taylor’s tear ridden face whilst cruising down the highway. I'm watching her, trying not to make it obvious. But I have to get a grip on this situation. Honestly it’s driving me nuts, and so I gaze out at the windscreen wondering what she said to him.
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Taking the exit off of the highway I sneak another glance over at her as she looks out of the window. I decide to give it more time, as she wipes her face and pushes her hair back before sighing.
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"I told him everything" she whispers into the dark.
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"And I owned up to the whole lot, I feel like a horrible bitch. But I know it was the right thing to do" she says and I just listen wishing I could erase that sadness. I created some of that, I tempted her the whole time and that was very wrong of me. To pursue her whilst she was taken.
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Whilst they were talking I drove home; the first thing I checked was our bedroom for her clothes. Call me paranoid but I had thought she was leaving me. Letting out a sigh of relief as I opened up the dresser and saw all of her clothes draped in the closet. My mind wandered naturally as I sat gazing at her dresser with all of her makeup and jewellery on it. Imagining scenarios where he talked her around. Picturing myself pulling up in my car and knocking on his door only for her to say she didn’t want me anymore, as I settled my gaze on her jewellery box I stood wondering and contemplating.
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Opening up the small clasp as my eyes travelled over the contents of the trinket box. The diamonds I have bought her and the necklaces. The note from Matthew removed and the one small velvet box I had been looking for completely gone. Her engagement ring. I’m sure that his words written down meant a lot to her, I’m sure that instead of writing him a heart felt note in response that she wished to just speak things through. The absence of her engagement ring can only mean that she was intending to return it to him.
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Honestly it’s the first time I’ve ever had worries over a woman leaving me, however realising that the ring was gone was a turning point for me. Regardless of her messaging me or not I flew down to the Audi and drove over to him intent on taking her back home. Her tears now are a release of her past situation, his smile is just a taunt hiding his pain. And I am the future in this whole situation. I am not a fleeting moment for her and I intend to making good of my opportunities and replacing her old engagement ring with a much better one.
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"I'm ready now Jay for forever" she murmurs over to me as I register that we are still far too far away from home, to an opportunity of me being able to scoop her into my arms.
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"I needed to do that, It was the right thing to do. And I love you in a way that I have never ever loved anybody. It used to scare me, the control you can have over me Jay. Over my happiness" she says turning to me and I'm so shocked. How is this possible, why does she love me? Over perfect Matthew James Henderson. Over Ross George Peterson too? I practically quack in my boots imagining forever with somebody and wanting it even more. Wondering whether I can reach her expectations, I’m not a man that writes a woman poetry, I’m not a guy that writes letters or draws her and paints her. I’m in love with her but I’m suddenly unsure whether I know how to do everything right.
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I glance at her and she looks up at me uneasily sensing my worry and my hysteria. We're on a quiet road, trees lined either side with little street lighting and impulsively I pull the car over. She's watching me whilst taking a drag on the cigarette and my only thoughts are that I need her lips on my own. Her eyes beg me to say something but I kill the engine instead. Leaning over to her I kiss her lips instead, feeling warm tears on her cheeks wondering whether they are hers or my own.We kiss until we have not any breath left.
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"Taylor you scared the fucking life out of me" I say desperately and I realise I have been crying too. I'm holding onto her jaw and she's kissing me sporadically.
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"I thought I'd lost you, okay. I know that's fucking unreasonable. But him grinning at me like that and you saying nothing. I'm not used to this, fuck. I'm not used to having these all consuming feelings. I love you so much" I say and kiss her again my mouth crushing into hers as she undoes her seat belt.
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Reclining the drivers side all the way back as I physically lift her away from the passenger side and she gasps. I undo my jeans as her lips crush into mine like a turbulent wave. It’s hot and I need her, all of her to erase my worries and my anxieties. I need her and I reassure her as I push my way inside of her and she cries out my name. It is utterly cramped but I make do, the impulsivity of the moment taking over me.
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"Jay" she murmurs looking down at me.
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“I was worried then” she whispers as I shake my head.
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"I love you Taylor" I tell her as she moves on top of me.
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"I love you too" she says pulling at my hair.
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"I need you Jay, now and forever" she sighs in my ear as I gasp passionately.
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"I love you baby, you're mine forever" I utter in her ear as my hands go under her leotard ripping it off of her body. The threads frayed as I push it off of her body. Her skirt is next and as I pull my bare hands around it I tear it away from her body.
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“I’ll replace them” I laugh slightly as she gasps and my hands hold onto the small of her back.
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“Forever” I whisper in her ear when I feel her body getting close to her climax.
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“Forever” she sighs as I hold her into me and we catch our breaths. I kiss her over and over and she chuckles.
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“Did we just?” She laughs looking down at me.
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“In the drivers seat yes we did” I say smiling as she laughs.
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"That was unexpected" I laugh pulling my sports jersey off and draping it around her shoulders before she climbs back into the passenger side. She scoops her hair out of the jersey and does it up over her naked body and I attempt to keep my eyes on the road whilst I pull off.
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“I love you” she whispers as I glance down at her.
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“ I love you” I smile feeling the relief wash over me as I see the lake in the distance and her growing smile that spreads across her face.
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We arrive at the lake house finally and I settle her into the couch. Taylor curls up on the sofa and I make some food in the kitchen, she said she ate takeaway with Matty so I make something light. I didn't eat I was thinking about it all. Busy trifling through her belongings and trying to get a grip.
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I come out with a tray of toast and she laughs watching some movie. She instantly moves her legs and I sit down and she places them in my lap. I hand her a piece of toast and then settle for some myself.
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"Just a few more days and then you get your surprise" I whisper to her as she chuckles and I love making her make that sound.
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"I'm so excited, where are we going please tell me" she begs giving me her best smile. I stroke her legs and she sits up cupping my face in her hands and kissing me.
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"Nice try but no" I say. I will tell her before the party on Thursday. And then Friday I'm planning on taking her shopping so that we have everything we need to go to Australia together. The tickets are booked, and I’ve even booked for us to go to the Sydney opera house. I imagine her in a red gown as I hold her waist taking her to a dance show. How I will get down on one knee I haven’t quite planned yet as I stare at her wondering how I managed to get somebody so beautiful to be with me.
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I used to think of myself as a monster, somebody who didn't deserve love in his life. Somebody definitely did not deserve a woman like Taylor who chooses him over other guys. Somebody loyal, sensual and instinctual. Somebody who makes me happy and complete. The perfect match for me, somebody who keeps me in her heart like I mean the world to her.
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"We're leaving the country ?" She smiles trying to guess and I laugh.
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"Maybe would you like that?" I ask her.
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"Ugh with you yes it would be a dream come true" she smiles and I can't resist her. The movies over and I scoop her up in my arms leaving the tray on the table for tomorrow. She giggles and wraps her legs around my waist.
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"I love how you do that, you just pick me up and put me where you want me" she laughs and I kiss her. Hearing her laugh, feeling her wrapped around me does things. I carry her up to bed setting her down and she looks up at me smiling and watching me undress. I need her again.
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"I love how you do that" I say hoarsely.
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"What ?" She smiles
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"Look at me" I whisper.
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"I love how you look at me" I add glancing over at the jewellery box which is now a continuous reminder of her choice. Her choice to leave her past behind for me. She stands up just inches away from my face, and she kisses me whilst undoing her blouse. It falls to the floor and I unhook her bra for her. She inhales sharply when I have her nipples in between my fingers.
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"I love how you do that too" she chuckles her body moving into mine. Her skirt is off and I lift her onto the bed. She sits on the edge of the bed and I can't wait to be inside of her. Hearing her say my name.
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"Mmm Jay" she sighs when I put the tip inside of her.
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"I want you" she sighs.
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"I love how you do that" I tell her.
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"Telling me you want me whilst grinding your hips into me" I tell her.
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The feel of her is unimaginable, better than I could ever have thought it would feel. She moves along with me and all's I can think of is her, her voice, her body and her beautiful face. The fact that she is mine, she has chosen me over the others and how there is nothing stopping us from being together.
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