Taylor's POV
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Ryan's house is just as I remember it, I stare at the building for a fraction before we go in. The grande four floor property with its stately appearance lit up with twinkling lights lining the exterior. The cab speeds off and I brace myself walking slowly to the building behind Rachel and Nate, the gravel crunching under my stilettos. The noise of the party can be heard from way out into the yard and as I pass the water fountain I remember everything from that night years ago when all of my ideas of Matthew shattered.
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However as I walk up the steps hand in hand with Jay, it strikes me that not only do I remember the pain from Jen ripping into me and declaring that my relationship was a lie. And not only is it just the deception and the tragedy or the crying in the dark as I wandered through the halls to escape. But also I cannot erase how he made love to me upstairs in one of the second floor bedrooms just before I realised he was lying, how he held me in his arms and kissed my entire body just before he broke my heart. How his face looked when he realised his sorry story had unraveled and that he had lost.
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"I love you" Jay whispers watching me before we walk in.
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"I love you, No surprises tonight please" I whisper to Jay as his face softens.
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"Never" he whispers in my ear before holding me tighter. Jay Gilbert Scott gets me, he knows just when I'm feeling anxious and what to do about it. He doesn't overload me with questions, he's just present and caring.
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Rachel opens up the large double doors and we follow her and Nate into the large expansive hall. Parquet flooring and chandeliers decorate it as I hang my coat up in the cloakroom realising that Rachel has already rushed over to the drinks in the kitchen.
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The main living area is rammed as Jay guides me into the cavernous room, a fire lit and music booming. I feel eyes on me, like two sharp daggers piercing. I glance over my shoulder to see Jen eyeing my hand in Jays. Realising that the animosity is still very much alive between us I give her my best sarcastic smile. She looks cheap, her hair pulled into some kind of edgy style. Her makeup overdone. Whirling around I see Ryan approach us clad in a suit and I smile warmly.
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"Hey Ryan" I say silkily and he stares at me stunned. As I look over his shoulder I see Ross and he stares back at me smiling. I always admire how Ross is surrounded by girls all of which he seems to completely ignore. Standing with his beer, in his shirt and jeans, his blonde hair out loose and sleeves rolled up as girls clad in stilettos cheaper than mine flock around him.
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"Taylor wow" Ryan replies eyeing my dress and giving it a thumbs up.
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"Givenchy latest collection" he admires and I nod.
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"Always the best dressed" he comments and I smile.
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"Hey man" Jay says and I take a step back as they embrace each other. I hadn't ever imagined that they were close before. Somehow now though I see it, they're both born into wealth and fortunate circumstances.
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"Thanks for inviting us" I say smiling at Ryan as he eyes my gown once more before Jay guides me into the state of the art kitchen to rustle up some drinks.
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"So" he winks at me when I'm sitting on top of the table, my slit in my dress revealing my whole leg and then some. I look into his eyes reminding myself of when we made contrails in this kitchen before. How he tried so hard to impress me even though I was with Matthew, how he flirted and charmed me.
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"What would you like? We have brandy, vodka, Malibu rum, absinthe oh and even pimms" he laughs as I pull his face into mine and kiss him.
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"Don't distract me otherwise you'll never get a drink" he says softly as I pull him into my personal space and he giggles. He cups my face and kisses me slowly. Just moments later and his hands are all over me, his tongue exploring my mouth. He pulls away from me at the sound of people entering the kitchen. I smirk as he returns to the alcohol whispering the word 'later' to me.
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"Can you make me sex on the beach?" I ask him standing up and wrapping my arms around his waist.
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"Say no more" he replies and gets to work his sleeves rolled up.
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"Well if it isn't" a familiar voice says. I pull my eyes away from Jay to see her. Her long dark hair and olive skin, wearing a red dress that looks perfect on her. I don't say a thing, I stand instantly and hug her. She holds me back and I'm sure we both cry a little.
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"Rhea" I say and she smiles her normal grin before hugging me again.
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"Hey man" I hear Malachi say in his soft voice and I remember why I liked him so much. He's accepting, he's open and he talks to everybody. He treats Jay like an old friend and they begin chatting.
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"One sex on the beach, what are you having ?" Jay asks Rhea and she smiles graciously.
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"Oh same please, thanks Jay" she says and he smiles.
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"I haven't seen you in ages, your hair is so so long and you look so wow. Taylor I missed you" she begins gushing.
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"Me too, I missed you." I stumble over my words complimenting her dress as she smiles.
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"We ugh have been busy, I moved in with Jay actually. How's everything for you two" I ask smiling as she raises her eyebrows looking at Jay making us drinks.
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"Wow. You'll have to invite us over to your place" she says smiling and winking at Jay as he hands her a drink.
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"Sounds like a plan" he smiles easily.
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"To be fair we have been keeping to ourselves a fair bit. Malachi has been working and uni is tough but yeah definitely let's hang out and have a few drinks too" she laughs.
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"Oof" she laughs tasting the cocktail and smiling.
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"That's great. Wow. Taylor he's a keeper" she smiles happily.
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"Who's a keeper" Rach bursts in and the music sweeps in from the hall into the kitchen.
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"Hey Rach, cocktail?" I say and she looks pleased, already half cut from the glasses of Prosecco she has already consumed.
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Jay and I make up a pitcher of cocktails, just like we did all of those years ago. Once they're done I carry a pitcher and Rach gets the next one and we take it out to Ryan's main room where the pool tables are. I place it on the side of the pool table and leave it there, Rhea pulls my arm slightly and whispers to me.
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"Yes, he's different. Completely and utterly transformed. What did you do to him?" She laughs eyeing Jay briefly.
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"Honestly I'm not sure but I love him" I whisper watching him talk easily with one of the guys. I assume it's somebody older, who he knows from politics.
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"He's in love with you" she smiles before her eyes dart up.
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"Oh incoming" she sighs looking up. I follow her eyeline and see Matty and Ross approaching us. I look for Jay and realise he's just behind me so I feel for his hand and he strokes my back.
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"Tay" Ross smiles and I hug him as Rhea follows Malachi over to the snooker cues.
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"Quite a look" he says glancing at my dress after I let go of him his eyes bare down into mine and I clear my throat.
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"You look incredible" he whispers and I thank him.
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Rachel pulls at him and starts to dance with him drunkenly as I giggle facing Matthew. The one who loved me, the one who broke my heart in this very room and the one who tells me we are supposed to be together. I sigh looking at him and walk into his open arms.
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"Hey" he says softly in my ear.
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"Hey" I reply his arms tightening around me.
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"You look, fuck Taylor. There are no words" he says and I pull back from him.
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"You look nice" he smiles looking into my eyes. I take a step back, reach for Jay. I feel his familiar touch on my back again and I relax.
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It's not that I don't like Matthew, it's not that I love him either. It's the fact that I loved him so much, so much so that I told him I would marry him and have his babies. We had a whole life together, we almost shared two beautiful babies and then I lost them. It's that he was my everything and now he is not. He pushes his brunette hair back, a gesture that he does all the time and his green eyes look at me softly.
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"Thanks, how are you ?" I reply aware of Jay talking with the guys behind me.
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"Great. I've finished my prep for my project and I'm sketching already" he says and I imagine him intently focusing on his work his hair getting in the way of his eyes like it always would. I have the odd impulse to pull him back into my arms but I suppress it.
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"Wow that was fast, what's your drawing" I ask him interested. We're both artsy people and we share that interest.
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"It's a landscape, seems nondescript" he says smiling.
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"But it's basically a field" he laughs and I join him.
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"I'm sure you will do that field justice" I say and his eyes meet mine briefly and intently.
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"I'll do my best" he smirks. I remember that expression and I soften. He notices I'm sure, and he watches my lips and then refocuses on my eyes.
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"I brought my guitar" I blurt out, completely unsure why I mentioned it to him. Perhaps I'm picking up behaviours from Justin. I scan the room and see him, he's talking to Brad and he catches my eye.
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"I haven't heard you play in ages" Matthew says quietly as I look down at his tan skin and the green eyes that I used to look into every morning and every night.
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"Remember when we used to just spend like hours in the kitchen." I say and smile.
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"Of course" he says smiling. I drink up and glance away from him.
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"You would do this thing" he smiles looking down at his drink.
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"Like glance over at me every now and then and smile then just carry on singing" he smiles.
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"Lord I miss that" he says to himself quietly.
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He looks up at me and I just watch him, for a bizarre minute I think he's going to kiss me. I continue to look at him taking in his eyes, his lips and his angular jaw. The music swells and it's as if I'm underwater, focusing on the bass of the song that's playing blissfully unaware of the lyrics. Completely draining out the noise of the party around me.
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"I want to dance" Rach says grasping my arm and whining in my ear as I jump marginally.
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"I'll dance with you" I say still looking at Matty feeling as though I've just been dragged out from the water. Drenched in his stare and the undeniable power he has over me.
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"Two secs I need a refill" I tell her distantly and she sighs looking at the cocktail pitcher.
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"I'll see you there" I add as she saunters off drunk. I gaze down at my half full glass and lean to retrieve the pitcher, topping it up with the espresso martini.
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"We were quite something don't you think..." Matthew says when I turn to face him again.
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"I remember" he begins again whispering.
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"Who's this then Jay?" I hear a voice boom behind me as I step to the side and open up the conversation to Jay and the new person.
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"Matthew" the voice says by way of greeting him as I look up at the new addition to our group. Matty nods simply. I can already tell from his easy grin and built frame that this is our university team captain Joshua. His voice rich and warm with a slight accent that I cannot place.
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"Taylor, Josh. Josh, Taylor." Jay says watching me with his old smile plastered over his face. The one he used to wear before we were known to one another. I shift uncomfortably and Matthew notices. Something about his expression isn't as warm and friendly.
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"Taylor is my girl" Jay adds after a moment and smiles at Joshua, I hide my gasp and shock well. Honestly call me petty most women would be happy to be claimed by Jay, however I am not property. I'm also not just his girl, I'm his partner, his equal and the love of his life.
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"Taylor you are the most fucking unbelievably stunning girl I have ever seen" Josh says unashamedly as I squirm slightly.
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"You have been hiding her" Josh says to Jay without waiting for my reply, he turns to him and slaps his arm. Jay refuses to reply, instead he smiles at him before sipping his drink.
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"So Josh what do you study, no wait let me guess" I say flashing him my fake smile. He bites onto my bait smiling his huge grin, it's clear he enjoys the attention of women. Even when they are somebody else's girl. Ross joins us looking from Josh to me clearly amused.
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Slowly I eye up Joshua, my stare just a tad patronising however he enjoys my eyes on him and laps it up. From his football jersey, tan skin and muscular build that is all finished off with brunette hair and brown eyes. Slightly ruddy cheeks that tell me he is just a little embarrassed.
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"I think that maybe you are... oh it's a tough one isn't it" I begin slowly having drawn out the moment, watching Rach saunter over to us again in heels that she is finding troublesome. Ross laughs unable to control himself.
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"Perhaps you study politics, lots of politics majors are unbelievably confident and able to get what they want..." I sigh eyeing Jay for just a minute as he scoffs. Josh I see is genuinely entertained by my performance.
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"No can't be it you don't do the whole studying thing right" I sigh dramatically.
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"What was I thinking it must be sports" I say giving him what he wants finally. He smiles at me very happily as Matthew leans on the pool table next to me amused by the entire thing.
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"I like her a lot" Josh says turning to Jay immediately with a huge grin.
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"I'm here Josh, you don't have to talk to me through Jay" I tell him dominantly, sipping my drink as Matthew laughs openly.
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"Taylor you are something else, what do you study babe" Josh asks watching me again. And wasn't he doing well until he called me babe I think idly rolling my eyes at him.
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"Guess...?" I tell him.
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"You have a killer body, but you're not sports I would know" he declares, well he would know wouldn't he ? I roll my eyes.
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"You're clearly smarter than average" he says eyeing Rachel who is now standing next to Matty.
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"Ass" she comments and he rubs his chin smiling.
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"You are Taylor, a dance student. And english I think" he comments and I smile approvingly thinking of giving him a gold star for using his brain.
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"It looks like to me you enjoy poetry and words and shit" Josh smiles and there he goes again showing his crude humour.
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"Ohhh Josh, you were half right." I say smirking as he laps up our conversation and Jay eyes me.
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"What one was I wrong about?" Josh asks me curiously.
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"English, I don't take English. Although yes I do read" I say smiling my best grin.
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"Not just a pretty face" Josh comments looking sourly at Rach and I feel bad for her, objectifying prick.
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"Is there a problem?" Nate says and I eye him appreciatively for being a good partner and sticking up for her.
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"No babe" Rach says to him. I glance down at my drink waiting for the moment to pass before I brush Josh up the wrong way by giving him a talking down.
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"Anyways I came over to ask if you wanted to dance" Rach smiles at me happily.
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"I do" I tell her smiling, taking her hands and leaving the boys to their talk.
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"Asshole that one." Rach comments as we're walking away from them through the crowds of students.
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"Ignore him he's probably got a really small dick" I giggle and she explodes into laughter.
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