Chapter 37
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“ Yeah baby! You suck Dad!”
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“ Good Lord!”, Sheldon interjected when he heard Arista’s voice and walked toward his daughter Cayela’s room to see what was going on.
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Arista!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Arista!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Arista!”
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“ It’s open Dad! Come in!”, Cayela interjected through the closed door over the thumping music that was playing on her speaker.
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“ What in the name of Einstein is going on in here?! What did you just tell Arista?!”, Sheldon scolded when he threw the door open and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed.
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“ Oh I just told her that Uncle Howard and Auntie Amy got rid of her dad so she was expressing her gratitude for that!”, Cayela exclaimed as she was dancing around the room.
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“ And you’re not mad about that?!”, Sheldon exclaimed as he stared at Arista who was dancing around too colliding her hip with Cayela’s.
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“ No are you kidding me?! This is the best day of my life! Woohoo I’m free from my dad’s evil wrath!”, Arista shrieked with glee as she continued dancing around like a giddy butterfly.
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“ Yeah, evil ain’t got nothing on this!”, Cayela shrieked with glee as she continued dancing around too.
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“ Are you sure there’s nothing shady going on in here?!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Yes Dad there’s nothing going on! Arista and I are just hanging out together like any other normal 14 year old girls!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ Yeah and it’s AWESOME!!!! I never got to do very much of this when my dad was still around because he would always yell at me for it!”, Arista exclaimed.
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“ Alright then I shall leave you two alone then!”, Sheldon interjected as he shut the door.
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“ Thank you Dad!”, Cayela interjected.
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“ What are they doing in there Sheldon?”, Leonard asked Sheldon when his best friend walked back into the living room.
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“ Oh they’re just listening to music and being obnoxious Leonard.”, Sheldon said as he sat down in his spot on the couch.
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“ I know, I can hear that. But, what was up with Arista’s outburst? What did Cayela just tell her?”, Leonard asked.
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“ Oh she just told her that Howard and Amy got rid of her father and apparently she was really happy about it.”, Sheldon said.
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“ For God sakes! Cayela is so trusting of people! It’s like she’ll believe anything they say!”, Leonard exclaimed as he facepalmed himself.
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“ Well she must get it from her Aunt Kennedy because that’s how Kennedy was when she first met Richard. Kennedy has a very trusting nature too and that’s what worries me about her.”, Leo said.
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“ No offense Leo but your sister Kennedy has somewhat of a lack of common sense too.”, Leonard said.
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“ Oh believe me Leonard I completely agree with you on that. Kennedy is so gullible it’s like she’ll believe anything. Like once when we were younger me, Amanda, Junior, Garrett and Stephen all convinced her that there was a ghost in the attic so everyday since then she would go up there and just have a full on conversation with herself as if she was actually talking to somebody else. It was so funny that we all laughed our butts off.”, Leo said with a smirk on her face.
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“ Oh what fresh hell is this woman?! Why would you and your siblings do that to her Leo?!”, Sheldon exclaimed as he stared at his wife.
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“ Oh come on Sheldon we were just dumb little kids back then who didn’t know any better! We were bored with nothing to do because it was a rainy day outside so we decided to play a dumb harmless little joke on our sister! It wasn’t like we told her that Santa Claus lived up in the tree in our backyard or something like that! That would just be mean and cruel!”, Leo laughed as she stared at her husband.
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“ No offense Leo but the day you mention Santa Claus is the day I move to Switzerland.”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ Sheldon not in front of your wife! That’s rude!”, Leonard interjected.
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“ Wha…well don’t look at me Leonard Hofstadter! She’s the one that mentioned it!”, Sheldon interjected as he pointed at his wife.
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“ Yo would you two stop badgering each other before I crack both your skulls?!”, Dakota interjected.
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“ Dakota just break his skull! Why would you do that to me too?! I’m your husband!”, Leonard interjected as he pointed at Sheldon.
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“ I know that Leonard I was just saying that just to get you two to shut up!”, Dakota interjected. Sheldon and Leonard just continued to talk over each other debating back and forth which made Dakota start rolling her eyes at the two men.
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“ Come on Dakota let’s just go to one of the bedrooms.”, Leo said as she got up from the couch.
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“ With pleasure Leo.”, Dakota said as she stood up too. As the two women started walking away from their bickering husbands the two men suddenly stopped in the middle of their argument and Leonard asked, “ Wait a minute where are you going?!”
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“ We’re going to one of the bedrooms!”, Dakota hissed.
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“ Well why?!”, Sheldon asked.
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“ To talk about what jerks our husbands are!”, Leo hissed.
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“ What?!”, Sheldon and Leonard exclaimed as they stared at their wives.
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“ She said it, not me!”, Dakota hissed as she followed Leo down the hallway. The two men then heard the sound of a bedroom door slamming shut.
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“ Well, that wasn’t pleasurable.”, Sheldon said as he looked back at his best friend.
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“ Of course it wasn’t Sheldon, we just upset our wives.”, Leonard said as he was massaging his forehead.
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“ Indeed we have Leonard. I believe we have acted very stupidly.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yeah we did buddy. I think we should go apologize to them before we end up in the doghouse tonight.”, Leonard said.
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“ I completely agree with you my good man! Let’s go!”, Sheldon exclaimed as the two of them headed down the hallway to apologize to their wives. After they apologized profusely the married couples then kissed and made up with each other. After a few moments of silence throughout the apartment Leo said, “ You know it suddenly got very quiet in Cayela’s room. I’m going to go check on the girls to see what they’re doing.”
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“ Ok Leo.”, Sheldon, Leonard and Dakota said simultaneously. Leo got up from the couch again and headed to her daughter’s room. When she opened the door she saw Cayela and Arista watching tv with each other. Arista was lying on her stomach on Cayela’s bed while Cayela was lying on her stomach on the floor. Oreo was curled up right next to Cayela, purring as she slept. The two teens were watching an episode of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from the 2003 series. The episode they were watching was Nano.
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(From the tv)
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“ Don’t let them aliens get you kid! Knock ‘em flat!”
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“ What do you know about this?!”
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“ Ahhhh, help! Kid!”
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“ Dad dy!”
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“ Uh ooomph!”
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“ That guy’s nuts!”, Arista exclaimed as she started to laugh.
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“ Yeah I’ll say!”, Cayela laughed. As the girls were laughing at the episode Leo said, “ Everything ok in here girls?”
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“ Yeah everything’s fine Mom. We’re just watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.”, Cayela said as she was still looking at the screen.
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“ I can see that. What episode is this?”, Leo asked as she walked up behind Cayela and stood there for a moment.
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“ Season 1 episode 5 Nano.”, Arista said.
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“ Oh that’s interesting. My brother Garrett liked to watch that when we were younger.”, Leo said as she bent over to check Cayela’s diaper.
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“ Ok sweetheart come here I think it’s time to change you.”, Leo said as she scooped her daughter up from the floor.
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“ Aww come on Mom it’s right in the middle of the episode!”, Cayela protested as her mother started pulling out the waterproof pad, cream, talcum powder, wipes, latex gloves and a new clean diaper from the closet.
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“ Cayela don’t argue with me please. I said it’s time to change your diaper. You’re wet right now and your father and I do not want you developing infections.”, Leo said as she set the pad down on the bed along with the other stuff before laying Cayela down on it.
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“ Arista could you get down off the bed for a second?”, Leo asked as she slipped the latex gloves on her hands.
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“ Oh no no no it’s ok. You can do what you need to do I’ll just keep looking at the tv. I won’t even look back at what you’re doing.”, Arista said as she kept eyes forward at the tv.
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“ Are you sure?”, Leo asked.
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“ Yeah I don’t mind. I’m used to this kind of thing because I’ve been working as a teaching assistant for my mom at an elementary school for special needs kids.”, Arista said.
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“ Your mother’s a teacher?”, Leo asked in complete shock as she was removing Cayela’s shorts and soiled brief.
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“ Yeah she’s a special needs teacher and I help her out with certain lessons. The age range of her students are between 4 and 8 years old and as I said some of them aren’t potty trained meaning that they have to wear diapers so yeah I’m totally ok with this.”, Arista said.
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“ Alright if you say so.”, Leo said as she continued with the task that she was doing. After she wrapped the fresh diaper around Cayela’s abdomen she slipped her shorts back on her and cleaned up the mess. Then she asked, “ So if you don’t mind me asking, what was your childhood like?”
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“ Um it was a combination of love and misery.”, Arista said.
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“ What do you mean by that? What happened?”, Leo asked.
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“ Well…”, Arista said as she began to tell Leo the same story that she told Cayela.
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“ Oh Arista that’s horrible! Your father shouldn’t have treated you like that!”, Leo sympathetically said.
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“ I know. I couldn’t sleep for days since then because of it. It always kept invading my mind. Just thinking about it all the time makes me exhausted and I feel like I just need a break from it.”, Arista said in somewhat a tired voice.
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“ Well, might I suggest that you take a nap. It might help clear your mind.”, Leo said.
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“ Yeah it’s probably not a bad idea. I’m already starting to feel exhausted.”, Arista said in a tired voice as she picked up the tv remote and shut the tv off.
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“ Yeah me too.”, Cayela said in a tired voice.
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“ Well why don’t you girls take a nap. I’m going back out into the living room.”, Leo said before she walked out of the room and shut the light off. She closed the door behind her too. Cayela and Arista both crashed on the bed after that. Then after a couple hours they woke up and Arista’s phone immediately started ringing.
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“ Hello?”, Arista answered.
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“ Arista, where are you sweetheart? I’ve been looking for you for the past 2 hours.”, Mrs. Stormbender’s voice said on the other end.
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“ Oh hi Mom, I’m just hanging out with a new friend at her apartment. Why?”, Arista asked.
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“ Because I’m just about ready to come get you. I just got done with a teacher’s meeting at our house. Where exactly are you at?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ 2311 North Los Robles Avenue, Apartment 4A.”, Arista said.
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“ Alright then I guess I’ll see you in a few minutes. Love you, bye.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Ok Mom, love you too. Bye.”, Arista said before she hung up on her mother.
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“ Was that your mom?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Yeah she’s about ready to come pick me up. Do you want to continue to hang out until she gets here?”, Arista asked.
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“ Sure Arista. Do you want to play with my Barbies?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Oh sure what the heck.”, Arista said with a smile as the two teens walked over to the dollhouse. The two girls laughed as they let their imaginations run wild with the dolls. Since Cayela told Arista what all of her dolls names were Arista started to really have fun with it.
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“ Clap on! Clap off! Clap on, clap off! The Clapper!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ Erica stop watching that clapper commercial! You’ve watched it a billion times already! It’s time to watch something different!”, Arista(Mom)
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“ I don’t want to Mom! Get off my case about it!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ Erica don’t argue with your mother! She said to turn it off! Go do something with your sister Barbie!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ You’re not the boss of me Dad! Leave me alone!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ Don’t talk back to your commanding officer! You either turn it off or you’re grounded!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Fine I’ll turn it off! Happy now Dad?!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ Yes! Bye Karen I’m off to work!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Ok Jeffrey! Have a good day honey! I love you!”, Arista(Mom)
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“ I love you too babe!” *makes kissing noises*, Arista(Dad)
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“ Bye girls I’m heading out too! Don’t have any wild parties while I’m gone!”, Arista(Mom)
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“ Ok Mom we get it! Bye!”, Cayela(Erica and Barbie)
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“ Woohoo! Mom and Dad are gone! What should we do Barbie?!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ I know let’s call our boyfriends over Erica! I’ll call Ken and you call Jimmy!”, Cayela(Barbie)
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“ Ok! Woohoo boyfriend party time!”, Cayela(Erica)
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*boys arrive and enter the house*
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“ Hiya Barbie!”, Cayela(Ken)
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“ Hi Ken!”, Cayela(Barbie)
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“ Wanna go hanky panky in your bedroom?!”, Cayela(Ken)
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“ Sure Ken! Let’s go!”, Cayela(Barbie)
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“ Hi Erica!”, Cayela(Jimmy)
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“ Hi Jimmy! You want to party?!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ You betcha babe!”, Cayela(Jimmy)
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“ Hey s’up Erica!”, Cayela(2003 Michelangelo)
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“ Oh wow you didn’t tell me that you were bringing Mikey with you Jimmy!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ Yeah well you know how it is with Mikey and parties! He’s always got to be at them because he’s the party king!”, Cayela(Jimmy)
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“ That’s right Jimmy dude! You feel me bro! Surf’s up dudes and dudettes! Cowabunga!” *twirls nunchucks*, Cayela(2003 Michelangelo)
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*music plays and party kicks off but then the parents come home*
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“ Barbie and Erica what are you doing?!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Oh hi Dad! We’re just hanging out with our boyfriends and Jimmy’s mutant turtle friend!”, Cayela(Barbie)
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“ Really?! This is what you girls do the second your mother and I leave the house?!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Yeah we’re teenagers! We can do whatever we want!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ No you can’t Erica! What did I just say?! No wild parties!”, Arista(Mom)
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“ And what is that on your neck Erica?! Did Jimmy just give you a hicky?!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Dad it’s not what it looks like!”, Cayela(Erica)
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“ I think it is! Come here Jimmy! Get out of my house and take your mutant turtle friend with you!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Oh come on Mr. Harper don’t do this to me! I love your daughter!”, Cayela(Jimmy)
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“ I don’t care! Now get out! You’re never allowed to see my daughter Erica ever again!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Yo dudes, can we just chill out here?!”, Cayela(2003 Michelangelo)
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“ Shut up Mikey no one asked you! Get out! If you both don’t get out of here in the next 60 seconds I’m calling the cops!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Yo would you just chill out Mr. Harper?! They didn’t even do anything!”, Cayela(Ken)
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“ I don’t care Ken! You go too!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ What?! What did I do?!”, Cayela(Ken)
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“ You came here uninvited just like your friends Jimmy and Mikey! Get out! 60, 59, 58…!”, Arista(Dad)
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“ Yo let’s scram dudes! Later dudettes!”, Cayela(2003 Michelangelo)
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“ Oh my god Cayela this is so much fun! I never got to do any of this when my dad was around!”, Arista laughed.
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“ I know Arista I love playing with an imagination too! Just embrace it!”, Cayela laughed as the girls continued playing with the dolls together.
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“ Cayela what are you and Arista doing in here?!”, Sheldon scolded his daughter when he threw the door open and stood in the doorway. He was wearing his red Flash shirt and dark brown slacks underneath his dark blue windbreaker. His wristwatch was on his left hand as usual.
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“ We’re just playing with my Barbie dolls Dad!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Yeah we’re just running our imaginations! It’s fun!”, Arista laughed.
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“ I highly doubt that pretending to be an imaginary family and screaming a bunch of obnoxious things is what you would consider fun.”, Sheldon said as he crossed his arms.
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“ Well that’s your opinion Dad! Not ours!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Alright, well if you two are really having fun with this then you may continue to do so but could you please keep it down in here?! I’m trying to work on my laptop out in the living room and THIS what you’re doing is obnoxious!”, Sheldon scolded.
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“ Sure thing Dr. Cooper or wait a minute? Was I supposed to call you that?”, Arista asked.
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“ Yes that was appropriate addressment Arista, thank you. Now could you and my daughter kindly please keep it down in here? I’m trying to work.”, Sheldon said.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdOpSV5QKx
“ Yes of course Dr. Cooper.”, Arista said.
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“ Alright. And do you understand that Cayela?”, Sheldon asked.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMdCvDkIEl
“ Yes Dad I get it.”, Cayela said.
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“ Good.”, Sheldon said. Then he scolded, “ And stop talking like Michelangelo! You’re making my ears bleed!” before he shut the door and walked away. The girls immediately busted out laughing.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tLsyR4boy
“ Did your dad seriously just tell you to stop talking like Michelangelo?!”, Arista laughed.
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“ Yeah he did! My dad’s such a weirdo about everything but I love him! It’s just his strange idiosyncrasies and everything he does that make him, well, who he is! He’s been like that since the day I was born and even before that according to the rest of my family!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Good Lord.”, Sheldon said as he listened to the girls laughing from Cayela’s bedroom and shook his head.
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Knock knock!
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“ Who could that be?”, Dakota asked.
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“ I don’t know Dakota. I’ll go see.”, Leo said as she walked over to the door and opened the door to reveal another woman standing there that she did not know.
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“ Um hi. Can I help you?”, Leo asked.
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“ Uh yes hi I’m Delia Stormbender, Arista’s mother. I’m here to pick her up.”, Mrs. Stormbender said with a smile.
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“ Oh yes of course! Come in!”, Leo said as she stepped aside allowing Mrs. Stormbender to come in.
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“ Thank you. Uh…?”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Oh I am so very sorry, I’m so rude. Hi I’m Dr. Leo Fordyce-Cooper, this is my husband Dr. Sheldon Cooper and these are our two friends that live with us Dr. Leonard Hofstadter and his wife Dakota ’Skullbreaker’ Hofstadter.”, Leo said.
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“ Hi it’s very nice to meet you, I’m Delia.”, Mrs. Stormbender said with a smile.
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“ Hello.”, Sheldon, Leonard and Dakota said.
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“ Can I get you anything? Food? Water?”, Leo asked.
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“ Oh no no that’s ok, thank you Leo. I’m just here to pick up my daughter.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Oh yes of course Delia. Arista, your mom’s here!”, Leo said before she hollered down the hallway.
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“ Oh hi Mom!”, Arista exclaimed as her and Cayela emerged from Cayela’s room.
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“ Hi sweetheart. Did you have fun?”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Oh yeah we had a lot of fun. We were listening to music, watching tv and playing with Barbie dolls.”, Arista said.
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“ That’s good. You know I was about ready to panic thinking that your father did something to you.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Oh Dad didn’t do anything to me Mom. In fact, he won’t be doing anything to anybody ever again.”, Arista said.
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“ What do you mean by that?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked as she looked at her daughter with a confused look.
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“ Dad’s dead. He’s in cyberspace.”, Arista said.
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“ Are you kidding me? Arista is this a joke?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked as her eyes grew wide.
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“ No I’m really serious. Cayela just told me that two of her non-blood related relatives got rid of him a long time ago. What do you think Mom?”, Arista said with a smile.
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“ Ha! That’s what you get for being a jerkface you psycho maniac! Good riddence to my jerk of an ex-husband! Screw you Devon Phinneas!”, Mrs. Stormbender exclaimed as she ripped off her purse off her shoulder and tossed it aside in a celebratory way. Then she said, “ You know I could really go for some wine right now.”
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“ Well here, why don’tcha have at it?!”, Dakota exclaimed as she grabbed a bottle of wine out of the fridge and a few drinking glasses out of the cupboard. She poured it for herself, Mrs. Stormbender, Leo and Sheldon even though he rarely ever drinks alcohol and then grabbed a beer out of the fridge for Leonard.
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“ Thank you Dakota.”, Mrs. Stormbender as she took the wine glass from her and took a sip.
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Bang bang bang!
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“ Would you keep it down down there you hoodlums! I’m trying to sleep!”, an elderly woman’s voice shouted from the floor above them.
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“ Is that that weird old bat in 5A thumping her broom on the floor again?”, Dakota asked.
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“ Yes it is Dakota, I’ll handle this. Excuse me a moment Delia while I go tell that woman to shut up.”, Sheldon said as he stood up and set his wine glass down.
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“ Yes of course Sheldon.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Thank you.”, Sheldon said as he walked out of the apartment and up the next flight of stairs to the 5th floor.
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Knock knock knock! “ Weird old lady!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Weird old lady!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Weird old lady!”
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“ What do you want?!”, the bitter old woman snapped at the theoretical physicist when she opened the door holding her broom in her hands.
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“ It occurs to me that you’re being very disruptive to my family and our guests downstairs which is a complete violation of this building’s noise ordinance policy! I would kindly like to ask you to stop it with this obnoxious racket before you leave me no choice but to report you to the landlord! You are disturbing me, my wife, my roommate/best friend, his wife, my daughter, her new friend and her new friend’s mother! Not to mention you are disturbing all the other tenants in this building! Now please just go back to sleep! Do not give me a reason to report you and get you kicked out of this apartment complex!”, Sheldon said in a firm voice as he crossed his arms.
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“ Shut the hell up! I don’t even know you!”, the bitter old woman snapped.
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“ Dr. Sheldon Cooper! I am a physicist living in the apartment below you! I am also the president of the Tenants Association and I can have you kicked out of here in two seconds flat if you don’t shut up! Now as I mentioned, there is a building noise ordinance policy and it states that all tenants in this building have the right to peace and solitude in their own abodes! With that being said it prohibits loud and rowdy behavior such as yours with this broom! So I suggest that you cease this behavior immediately or I will confiscate this broom and report you to the landlord! No excuses! I will not tolerate this!”, Sheldon said in a firm voice as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ I don’t bi**hing care! You tell those yahoos of yours to shut up and stay out of my damn business!”, the bitter old woman snapped.
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“ That’s strike one! You want to go for strike two?!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ No! Leave me alone you crazy doctor!”, the bitter old woman snapped.
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“ Good Lord! What is up with everyone in this city’s obsession with calling me crazy?! I’m not crazy, my mother had me tested! You’re now at strike two and if you keep arguing with me you’ll get strike three and you’ll be out of here! I’m not playing around! Stop this infernal racket right now or I’m going to take this broom away!”, Sheldon shouted in somewhat of a loud booming voice.
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“ I’ll cold cock you in the face and report you to the Pasadena Police for harrassing a senior citizen for no reason!”, the bitter old woman snapped.
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“ Go ahead but I have a friend who’s a police officer and I am most certainly sure that he’s going to say that you’re harrassing me! Quit making stupid useless threats you can’t follow through on!”, Sheldon shouted.
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“ Shut up and leave me alone Dr. Cooper! It’s my apartment and I can do what I want!”, the bitter old woman snapped as she backed up a little bit into her apartment and started smacking her broom on the floor again in retaliation to Sheldon’s threats against her.
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“ Strike three that’s it! Give me the broom! I’m reporting you to the landlord at as early as his convenience where he will most likely present you with an eviction notice! Therefore you will have 30 days to vacate the premises or be subjected to arrest by law enforcement!”, Sheldon shouted as he came toward her and swiped the broom out of her hands before storming off toward the stairs.
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“ You ain’t getting me kicked out of here you stupid bastard!”, the bitter old woman shouted out the door at him.
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“ You can fight with me all you want about this you crazy old bat but you’re just going to end up in jail!”, Sheldon shouted as he made his way back down the stairs.
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“ Freaking asshole doctor!”, the bitter old woman shouted before she slammed the door shut.
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“ I believe I have just solved that problem.”, Sheldon said when he came back into the apartment carrying the old woman’s broom and leaned it up against the wall.
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“ Is that the lady’s broom Sheldon?!”, Leo asked as she stared at her husband.
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“ Yes Leo it is. I told her that if she didn’t cut it out with the obnoxious racket I was going to confiscate it. And as you can see, you know how that went.”, Sheldon said to his wife as he sat back down.
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“ Do you think she’s going to stop now?”, Leo asked.
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“ I believe she will because I am calling the landlord to have her evicted.”, Sheldon said as he took out his phone from his pocket and dialed the landlord’s number. When the landlord answered Sheldon explained to him what had happened between him and the lady upstairs and so the landlord said that he would present her with an eviction notice first thing in the morning. Sheldon thanked him and hung up.
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“ So what’s the story Sheldon? Is that lady getting kicked out?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked as she took a sip of her wine.
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“ Yes she is being evicted Delia. The landlord is issuing an eviction notice for her as we speak and will present it to her in the morning.”, Sheldon said as he picked his wine glass back up and took a sip.
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“ Good because that lady’s just really weird.”, Leonard said as he drank his beer.
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“ Hey Mom can I have what you’re having?”, Arista asked her mother.
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“ No Arista you are not having this. You are too young.”, Mrs. Stormbender said over her shoulder before taking another sip.
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“ Mom I’m 14.”, Arista said.
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“ That’s still too young. Someday when you’re 21 then we’ll talk about but not now.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Ok.”, Arista said.
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“ Thank you.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Well here, how about this?”, Leo said as she got up and headed to the fridge. She pulled out another bottle and asked, “ Can she have this Delia? It’s non-alcoholic champaigne.”
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“ Yes that’s totally fine Leo. She may have that.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Sweet!”, Arista exclaimed. Leo gave both Cayela and Arista the glasses of non-alcoholic champaigne.
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“ Yeah?! Well, Baseball’s in season and so are you you freaky freakin’ weirdo! Batter up! “ Cayela and Arista immediately started laughing at the ringtone that was suddenly going off.
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“ Uh, Sheldon, is that your phone going off?!”, Leo asked as she looked at her husband. She thought, ‘ Figures my husband would have such a weird ringtone.’
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“ Yes Leo.”, Sheldon said as he took his phone out of his pocket again.
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“ Is that Casey Jones from the 2003 TMNT?!”, Dakota asked with a smirk on her face.
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“ Yes Dakota it is.”, Sheldon said.
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“ How did you get that buddy?!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ I recorded it the other day with my phone when Cayela was watching that episode Leonard. I thought it was funny so I decided to use it as my new ringtone.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well who’s calling you?”, Dakota asked.
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“ It’s Raj. Let me see what he wants.”, Sheldon said as he connected the call.
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“ Hello?”, Sheldon answered.
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“ Sheldon do you think you can get a ride over here to my apartment building for a second?”, Raj answered back.
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“ I can, but that depends on what you need.”, Sheldon said.
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“ I can’t get into my apartment. I accidentally lost my key and I tried calling Yesenia twice but she’s at work and won’t answer her phone. I need you to bring over your emergency key to my apartment so I can get in.”, Raj said.
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“ Well hang on a minute Raj. Don’t you have a spare key?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ I just told you Sheldon! Yesenia has the spare key but she’s working right now and I can’t get a hold of her! Please can you just get over here with your emergency key so I can get in before Cinnamon starts freaking out?!”, Raj hissed at him over the phone.
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“ Aw alright! I shall be over there in a few minutes! Goodbye!”, Sheldon said as he hung up. Then he asked, “ Leonard could you please drive me over to Raj’s apartment for a moment?”
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“ Why buddy?”, Leonard asked.
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“ Because he lost his key and his girlfriend apparently has the spare one with her therefore he can not get in so he wants me to bring the emergency key.”, Sheldon said as he stood up and grabbed the emergency key to Raj’s apartment out of the bowl as well as his keys and wallet.
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“ How did he lose his key?!”, Leonard asked as he stood up and grabbed his keys and wallet too.
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“ I don’t know but could you please drive me?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Sure Sheldon.”, Leonard said.
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“ We’ll be right back in a moment.”, Sheldon said before the two physicists walked out of the apartment.
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Raj’s apartment building…
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“ Dude what took you so long?! I’ve been waiting out here for a half hour!”, Raj hissed at Sheldon as he stood outside his apartment.
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“ Sorry Raj I would have been here sooner if it hadn’t been for Leonard getting us stopped at every light.”, Sheldon said as he took out the emergency key from his pocket. Leonard just rolled his eyes at this comment.
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“ Well whatever the case is could you please unlock the door so I can get in?! Cinnamon’s already freaking out because she’s been alone for almost 3 hours!”, Raj interjected as the three men listened to Cinnamon’s barking. The little Yorkshire Terrier was barking up the wazoo inside the apartment waiting to be reunited with her owner.
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“ Yes yes stop hollering at me!”, Sheldon interjected as he stuck the key in the keyhole.
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“ How did you lose your key in the first place Raj?”, Leonard asked his friend while Sheldon turned the key and opened the door.
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“ I don’t know Leonard. It must have fallen out of my pocket in the parking lot because I heard this little pin drop sound as I was getting out of my car and when I went to go look for it, it was gone.”, Raj said as he entered his apartment with his two friends.
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Arf arf arf arf arf!
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“ Cinnamon are you ok baby?! I’m sorry I left alone so long! Your idiotic daddy here lost his key by accident and your mommy’s at work right now! Come here!”, Raj cooed as he picked up his beloved dog and kissed her head. She immediately started to settle down and licked his face.
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“ Alright well you’re back in your apartment. Is there anything else you need Raj?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ No that’s it Sheldon, thank you. And thank you too Leonard.”, Raj said.
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“ My pleasure.”, Sheldon said.
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“ No problem Raj. Come on Sheldon let’s go back to our apartment.”, Leonard said.
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“ Well alright.”, Sheldon said as he started walking with Leonard toward the door. His ringtone went off again meaning that someone else was trying to call him.
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“ Oh good Lord, it’s Amy! Hello?!”, Sheldon exclaimed before he answered the phone and started walking away.
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“ Is that his…?”, Raj started to ask in confusion when he heard his neurotic friend’s ringtone.
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“ Don’t even ask. You won’t get it.”, Leonard said before he followed after Sheldon. Raj just shrugged his shoulders and shut the door. After Leonard and Sheldon stopped by Amy’s apartment to help her with her problem the two of them finally made it back to their apartment.
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“ We’re back.”, Sheldon said when him and Leonard walked in the door to find their wives still chatting with Mrs. Stormbender. Cayela and Arista were sitting on the floor around the coffee table listening to the conversation.
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“ Oh hi Dad.”, Cayela said with a smile.
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“ Where did you two end up going? I thought you were just going to Raj’s and then coming back here.”, Leo asked.
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“ We were Leo but then Amy called Sheldon said that she needed help with something too so we went to her place after we went to Raj’s.”, Leonard said as he sat back down as well as Sheldon.
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“ Oh, well one of you could have just called me or Dakota to let us know instead of making us worry.”, Leo said.
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“ Yeah use your common sense you asthmatic dumba**!”, Dakota hissed.
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“ Dakota don’t start please. Not in front of our guest.”, Leonard said.
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“ Oh just shut up and kiss me you experimental geek!”, Dakota laughed as she grabbed his head and kissed him.
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“ Says you world-class fighter champion!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ Oh stop it Leonard!”, Dakota laughed as she playfully punched him in the chest.
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“ Wait, what?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ Oh the reason why he said that is because I’m an MMA fighter. I was given the title of world-class champion when I defeated the former undefeated champion in a previous championship exhibition match. That’s also the reason why I introduce myself as Skullbreaker because that’s my fighter name.”, Dakota said.
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“ Ah I was wondering why Leo had said that. How did you get that name?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ Well when I first started out in one of my training sessions, I was in a match against a guy and when I went to punch him I accidentally hit him in the head a little too hard and it cracked his skull so one of my fellow trainees turned to me and exclaimed, “ Hey I got a name for you! Skullbreaker!” So at first I was a little confused by what he was saying until my training coach said that every fighter needs a stage name to make them more intimidating to their oponents. So I went like, “You guys want to call me Skullbreaker?” and everyone in the gym agreed so then I was like, “ Hmm, Dakota ’Skullbreaker’ Harris. I like it!”, Dakota said.
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“ Well that’s interesting. Was the other guy you hit ok?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ Oh yeah he ended up being fine after a few days in the hospital.”, Dakota said.
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“ Well that’s good. So was Harris your maiden name before you married Leonard?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ Yes it was Delia but now my last name is Hofstadter. And even though I have new last name, Skullbreaker still sounds cool with it.”, Dakota said.
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“ Well that’s nice. So how did you two get married?”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ We actually got married in octagon because that was what she wanted and so I told her if that’s what will make her happy then that’s what we’ll do. We had a big crowd which also included all of our friends, Leo’s family, Sheldon’s family, Dakota’s family and unknown to me at the time until I found out, my mom. We also had a priest and a reffuree.”, Leonard said.
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“ How come you didn’t expect your mother to be there?”, Mrs. Stormbender asked.
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“ Well it’s complicated. My mother and I aren’t exactly on really good terms with each other and so when I found out that Sheldon told her about my relationship with Dakota behind my back I got mad and stormed away from the party but then Dakota came to talk to me about it.”, Leonard said.
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“ Yeah he was worried that his mother was going to be very negative towards me and that I’d leave him because of it but then I told him that I didn’t care what his mother thought about me and that I only cared about him because I loved him. I don’t even care if, I’m using this as an exaggeration, if she hits me with a two ton gallon tank of gasoline! I’m still gonna love her son and treat him with respect.”, Dakota said.
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“ Yeah Dakota that’s a really big way to exaggerate your point.”, Leonard said.
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“ I know that Leonard but it’s true. I don’t care what she does to me. I couldn’t give a flying pickle about it. The only thing she needs to know is that I’m her daughter in-law whether she likes it or not.”, Dakota said as she kissed him again.
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“ I love you Dakota.”, Leonard said with a smile.
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“ I love you too Leonard.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ Aww that’s nice, but, we really should be going now. Thank you for everything.”, Mrs. Stormbender said as she stood up.
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“ Of course Delia. You’re welcome to come over anytime you want.”, Leo said.
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“ Thank you Leo. Come on Arista let’s go.”, Mrs. Stormbender said as she picked up her purse.
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“ Aww come on I don’t want to go back to the house with Raven there! She’s just going to torture me the whole time!”, Arista protested.
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“ I got a solution, let’s have a sleepover!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ Yeah! Please Mom?! Can I stay the night?!”, Arista exclaimed.
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“ And there it is. The question you ask me a million times when you want to hang out with Shaylynn.”, Mrs. Stormbender said as she gripped her forehead.
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“ Who’s Shaylynn?”, Leo asked.
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“ Arista’s best friend who lives in Wyoming. Every time they get together when Shaylynn’s in town Arista always asks me if she can spend the night at our house even though her and her parents always rent a motel room when they come here.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ So yeah please Mom?! I’m having such a really good time with Cayela right now!”, Arista begged.
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“ I don’t know Arista.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Well I don’t have a problem with it but I’m going to leave it up to my husband. He’s the one that has the final say.”, Leo said.
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“ Dad?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Alright yes.”, Sheldon said with a sigh.
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“ Mom?”, Arista asked.
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“ Ok yes you may stay the night Arista. I will go get some stuff for you at the house and drop it off.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Yay! Sleepover!”, Cayela and Arista exclaimed.
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“ Thank you Mom! I love you!”, Arista exclaimed as she hugged her mother.
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“ I love you too Arista. Please behave yourself. I don’t want to get any phone calls in the middle of the night.”, Mrs. Stormbender said.
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“ Oh please Mom, I’m not Raven! I always behave myself!”, Arista laughed.
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“ I know you do. See you in the morning.”, Mrs. Stormbender said as she kissed her daughter’s head.
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“ Bye Mom. See you in the morning too.”, Arista said as she watched her mother leave. Then she asked, “ Want to go back to your room to listen to some more music?”
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“ Oh heck yeah! Let’s go!”, Cayela exclaimed as they ran back to her room.
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“ Again, Cayela no running in the apartment! Someone’s going to get hurt!”, Sheldon scolded.
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“ Again, Dad I get it!”, Cayela hollered back before shutting the door again. Sheldon sat down at his desk again to continue working on his laptop but he was suddenly interrupted by somewhat of loud rock music coming from his daughter’s bedroom. The song playing was Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide by Shinedown and it was at a level where it was thumping out an obnoxious bass through the wall.
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“ Turn the music down to an appropriate level!”, Sheldon interjected as he stood up from his desk.
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“ Ok! Sorry Dad!”, Cayela hollered back before she turned the music down.
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“ Thank you!”, Sheldon called back before he sat back down in front of his laptop.
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“ You know it may not seem like the typical apartment household but I’m so happy to be living here. I get to be around two of my best friends, my handsome husband, and our beautiful goddaughter.”, Dakota said to Leonard with a smile on her face.
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“ I couldn’t agree more with that Dakota. Sheldon may be a batcrap crazy lunatic but I don’t think I could ever leave him. We’ll be roommates and best friends till the day we die.”, Leonard said with a smile as he kissed his wife.
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“ That is correct Leonard Hofstadter and again I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Oh grow up Sheldon Cooper!”, Leonard said.
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“ That’s Dr. Sheldon Cooper to you just like your name is Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!”, Sheldon shot back.
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“ Ok look can we all just stop pointing out each other’s credentials and shut up?”, Leo said as she sat at her desk on her laptop.
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“ He’s the one pointing them out Leo! I’m not doing anything!”, Leonard said as he pointed at Sheldon.
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“ I know my husband’s doing it Leonard! I just wanted to see what you would say!”, Leo laughed as she leaned back in her chair.
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“ Sometimes I still can’t believe how we even met you in the first place.”, Leonard said.
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“ Oh please Leonard, I think we were all meant to meet each other anyway and grow this big huge family together.”, Leo said.
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“ I agree.”, Leonard said.
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“ I would agree also although at that time period I didn’t think it would turn out this way.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yeah when we first met Sheldon you couldn’t even stand me but now here we are several years later, happily married with a beautiful teenage daughter with Autism.”, Leo said.
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“ And you guys have us too.”, Dakota said with a smile as she gestured to herself and Leonard.
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“ Well I suppose that’s a good point. Although I miss being alone sometimes I must admit that I’m actually quite happy having all of you in my life. We may not always get along and agree with each other but I’m actually quite content with it. Especially you Leonard. Who knew that meeting you would start all this chaos that now makes up my life.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Sheldon that’s one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me since we’ve known each other.”, Leonard said.
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“ Well it’s true. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I had never met you. I would still be living here alone with nothing but a television set and two lawn chairs. I would have never met Penny who’s become one of my best friends aside from you, I would have never met Howard and Raj who have also become a significant part of my life despite Howard not having a Ph.D, I would have never met Bernadette if it hadn’t been for Howard coming into my life first, I would have never met Amy and had a relationship with her, I also would have never met Stuart either and finally, I would have never met the woman I love and had a beautiful child with her.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well then I think it’s safe to say that Leonard’s a saving grace here. He’s the one that brought us all together.”, Leo said with a smile.
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“ Indeed he is. Which brings me to the conclusion that I also would have never met you either Dakota.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yeah I think that’s a pretty safe bet. If you had never met Leo you would have never known about me because I’m one of her friends.”, Dakota said.
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“ That is correct.”, Sheldon said.
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“ And you know, the thing that really confuses me sometimes is how you two ended up with Cayela.”, Leonard said.
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“ Well Leonard, having Cayela was really unexpected for us. We weren’t expecting to have a child this fast. Nobody ever expects that they’re going to get married and then shortly after have a child. It was just sort of a twist of fate that we really couldn’t control. Sure both of us wanted children very much we just weren’t expecting parenthood to come so fast after we just got married. But even though Cayela was very unexpected for Sheldon and I, I’m very happy that we had her. She may be an autistic middle schooler, a little rebellious at times and still need to wear diapers, but, she’s perfect the way she is. Cayela was my biggest childhood wish that Sheldon made come true for me.”, Leo said with a smile as she got up from her desk, walked over to her husband Sheldon and kissed him.
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“ I love you Leo.”, Sheldon said with a smile.
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“ I love you too Sheldon.”, Leo said as she kissed him again.
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“ Argh! Surrender the cat princess or prepare to walk the plank!”
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“ Argh, never! I shall sink your battle ship into these shark infested waters!”
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“ Avast you scurvy sea dog! I shall throw you in the brig!”
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“ Argh! Over my dead body!”
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“ What are Cayela and her friend Arista doing in there now?!”, Leo laughed over the sounds of plastic swords striking each other, Oreo’s meowing and music coming from her daughter’s bedroom.
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“ Allow me Leo. I’ll go see what they’re doing.”, Sheldon said as he got up and headed to Cayela’s room. Sheldon knocked 3 times and when Cayela said to come in Sheldon opened the door to see his daughter standing on her bed having a plastic sword fight with her new friend Arista who was standing on the floor. Oreo was laying on the bed next to Cayela wearing what appeared to be a clip-on tiara on top of her head while the girls had pirate hats on their heads. Music was still playing on Cayela’s speaker but this time the song was The Love of Our Lovers by Ashley Jana.
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“ What are you girls doing in here?”, Sheldon asked as he stood in the doorway.
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“ We’re playing pirates Dad!”, Cayela laughed. Then she interjected at Arista, “ Die you scurvy sea dog!” as she continued swinging her sword.
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“ I can see that but why is Oreo dressed like a princess?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Because we’re pretending she’s a royal cat princess from the mythical land of Catsylvania and I’m trying to capture her but Cayela’s protecting her Dr. Cooper!”, Arista laughed. Then she interjected at Cayela, “ Surrender the cat princess now or walk the plank!” as she continued swinging her sword back.
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“ Argh! You’ll have to pry her from my cold, dead fingers! Shiver me timbers!”, Cayela interjected.
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“ Well blow me down!”, Arista interjected.
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“ Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!”, Cayela interjected.
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“ Yo ho ho and a bottle of EAT THIS!”, Arista interjected as she pretended to stab Cayela in the chest with her sword. Cayela pretended to die and fell down on the bed.
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“ Oh no you killed my daughter! I shall swab the deck with ye!”, Sheldon interjected his own little bit of fun into the role play as he shook his finger at Arista.
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“ Avast you tyrant doctor! I shall swab the deck with ye first! Surrender the cat princess or walk the plank!”, Arista interjected as she pointed her sword at him.
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“ Oh Arista Stormbender you’re so obnoxious!”, Sheldon chuckled as he shook his head.
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“ Sheldon what are you doing?!”, Leo laughed as she walked in the room with Leonard and Dakota.
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“ Oh I was just interjecting a little bit of fun into their role play Leo.”, Sheldon said with a smirk on his face.
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“ Are you girls playing pirates?!”, Leo laughed.
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“ Yeah. It was my idea Dr. Fordyce-Cooper.”, Arista said.
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“ Ok I don’t even know you anymore!”, Leonard sarcastically interjected at Sheldon.
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“ Oh I highly doubt that’s the case Leonard.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Sheldon I was being sarcastic!”, Leonard laughed as he left the room with Dakota.
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“ Come on, let’s go back out to the living room!”, Leo laughed as she placed her hand on her husband’s shoulder before she walked out.
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“ Well alright. Carry on girls.”, Sheldon said before he left the room.
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“ Can I stop being dead now?”, Cayela asked when she lifted her head up.
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“ Yeah you can stop being dead Cayela.”, Arista said.
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“ That was so much fun! Especially the part where my dad came in and interjected, “ Oh no you killed my daughter! I shall swab the deck with ye!”, Cayela laughed as she sat up.
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“ I know! That was hilarious!”, Arista laughed. The girls continued their fun until they went to sleep. Then a few days later Charlotte invited all the girls over to her house to hang out and so Cayela asked her if it was ok that she bring along a new friend and she said yes.
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“ Hi guys!”, Cayela exclaimed as she waved at her friends when her and Arista walked into the Tiptons house. Cayela had her diaper bag slung over her shoulder too.
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“ Hi Cayela!”, Florence, Charlotte, Summer, Julia and Robbie exclaimed as they waved back at her.
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“ So who’s your friend?”, Charlotte asked when she saw Arista standing next to Cayela.
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“ This is Arista Stormbender.”, Cayela said with a smile as she gestured toward Arista.
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“ Yeah, hi!”, Arista exclaimed as she waved her hand.
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“ She’s a Stormbender?! Oh my god!”, Florence screamed along with the other girls as they backed away a little.
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“ Ok Fordyce-Cooper you didn’t say anything about this!”, Charlotte screamed.
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“ Yeah what is wrong with you?!”, Summer, Julia and Robbie screamed.
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“ Guys would you calm down?! She’s not gonna hurt us. She’s actually really friendly.”, Cayela shot back as she set down the bag.
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“ How would you know that?!”, Summer screamed.
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“ I would know that Summer because her and I have actually been hanging out with each other for a few days now and she hasn’t once tried to hurt me or my family. We even had a sleepover at my apartment.”, Cayela said.
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“ Are you sure about this?”, Florence asked in still somewhat of a skeptical voice tone.
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“ Florence I’m your best friend. Would I ever lie to you?”, Cayela asked.
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“ No you wouldn’t.”, Florence said.
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“ Exactly. Just give her a chance. She’s actually really cool.”, Cayela said.
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“ Alright Cayela. Hi I’m Florence Crenshamezki.”, Florence said as she calmed down.
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“ I’m Charlotte Tipton.”, Charlotte said.
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“ I’m Summer Langenstein.”, Summer said.
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“ I’m Julia Ratley.”, Julia said.
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“ And I’m Robbie Wayne.”, Robbie said.
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“ Nice to meet you.”, Arista said.
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“ Sorry about the freak out Arista. We were just a little concerned for our safety.”, Florence said.
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“ Oh it’s ok Florence. I told Cayela that I get that from everybody I try to make friends with except for one person who’s my best friend. Everybody always thinks I’m like my dad which is so not true. The only people who are like my dad in some way are my twin cousins Gavin and Larry, my crazy Aunt Skye, my crazy Uncle Fred and my crazy sister Raven. My mom and I are the only ones who are completely normal.”, Arista said.
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“ Ok well in that case welcome to our friendship circle Arista.”, Charlotte said with a smile.
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“ Thanks Charlotte.”, Arista said with a smile.
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“ Yo I don’t know about you guys but I’m ready to hang.”, Julia said.
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“ Yeah me too! I just downloaded a song for us to listen to!”, Summer exclaimed.
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“ Really?! Well what are we waiting for?! Let’s go pump it up in the living room then Summer!”, Charlotte exclaimed.
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“ Ok! Follow me you guys!”, Summer exclaimed as she dashed off to the living room. Her friends followed her. Once there she plugged her ipod into the stereo system and pressed play. The song that started up was Jihad Me @ Hello by Rucka Rucka Ali. It was a parody song of Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. The girls immediately started laughing as they started to dance around the living room.
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“ Langenstein you weirdo! Where did you get this?!”, Florence laughed.
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“ It was on Youtube! My twin sisters showed me the music video for it one day and I decided to download the song!”, Summer laughed.
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“ Is this a parody of Poker Face?!”, Robbie laughed.
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“ Yeah it is Robbie!”, Summer laughed.
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“ Ok this is hilarious! You’re gonna freaking kill me!”, Charlotte laughed.
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“ Would you can it Charlotte?! Not in front of our new friend here!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Cayela shut up!”, Charlotte laughed.
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“ This beat’s insane!”, Florence laughed.
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“ Yeah Rucka Rucka Ali yo!”, Julia laughed.
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“ Ok I’m really starting to like you guys!”, Arista laughed.
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“ We are too Arista!”, Florence, Charlotte, Summer, Julia and Robbie laughed.
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“ Charlotte would you and your stupid friends shut up out here?! I’m trying to watch a movie in my room!”, Cole yelled at his sister when he stomped out of his room.
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“ You shut it you little butt munch! I don’t care what you’re doing right now! I’m trying to have fun with my friends and FYI, they’re not stupid!”, Charlotte hissed back at her brother.
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“ Fine but I’m gonna tell Mom and Dad that you’re being too loud and they’re gonna…!”, Cole yelled.
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“ Cole just go back to your room! Leave us alone!”, Charlotte yelled.
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“ What’s going on out there?!”, Mrs. Tipton interjected from the laundry room.
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“ Mom, Charlotte’s being mean to me!”, Cole whined.
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“ I am not you little…!”, Charlotte yelled.
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“ Charlotte that’s enough! Stop yelling at your brother and Cole leave your sister alone! She’s hanging out with her friends right now!”, Mr. Tipton interjected from the shower.
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“ But they’re being too loud! I’m trying to watch a movie in my room!”, Cole whined.
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“ We will deal with it Cole! Just knock it off and go back to your room!”, Mrs. Tipton interjected.
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“ Fine!”, Cole shouted as he stormed back to his room and slammed the door shut.
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“ Cole do not slam the doors in this house! How many times do your mother and I need to tell you and your sister not to do that?! It’s disrespectful and that’s not how we raised you two!”, Mr. Tipton shouted. Cole just opened the door and screeched in defiance before he slammed it shut again.
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“ Cole enough! Keep it up and we’ll take the tv out of your room!”, Mrs. Tipton shouted. Cole did the same thing again so Mrs. Tipton shouted, “ Ok that’s it! Bye bye tv!” She walked into her 10 year old son’s room and unplugged the tv from the wall in the middle of what he was watching before she carried it out of the room. Cole started to throw a fit over it which earned him a nice big butt paddling from his mother.
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“ Who was that?”, Arista asked.
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“ My annoying little 10 year old brother Cole.”, Charlotte said.
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“ Wow that’s got to suck.”, Arista said.
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“ Yeah it does. He drives me insane.”, Charlotte said.
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“ Yeah but not as much as my little brother who’s 9. He drives me and my 17 year old handicapped autistic sister insane all the time too.”, Florence said.
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“ You have a little brother too Florence?”, Arista asked.
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“ Yeah his name’s Trevor and he’s like a little Tazmanian Devil. He drives all of us nuts in the house. I think it’s pretty safe to say that he has ADHD.”, Florence said.
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“ What’s your sister’s name?”, Arista asked.
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“ Her name’s Julianne. She’s severely autistic and can’t talk or walk so she has to use a wheelchair and she’s just like Cayela in the regards to the bladder and bowel problems.”, Florence said.
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“ So she’s in diapers too?”, Arista asked.
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“ Yes. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still get annoyed with the hurricane of destruction that is our little brother. Like if she’s in the same room with us and he’s being too annoying she’ll start making sounds and kind of shove his head away with her hand or something like that but that’s about all she really can do to him because she can’t move her lower limbs.”, Florence said.
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“ Oh well that sucks.”, Arista said.
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“ Yeah well that’s just her life. There’s not much we can do about it.”, Florence said.
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“ You’re probably right Florence.”, Arista said as the next song on Summer’s ipod came up. It was Showdown by The Black Eyed Peas.
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“ Exactly.”, Florence said as they all continued dancing around the living room. Meanwhile as the girls were hanging out at Charlotte’s house Penny was on the phone in her apartment talking to a movie producer for a movie that Penny just auditioned a role for earlier that day.
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“ Ok thank you, have a good day sir. Bye.”, Penny politely said but the second she hung up is when she suddenly changed her tude to anger and shouted, “ Son of a bitch!” before she slammed the phone down on the counter. This reaction caught Sheldon’s attention so he came over there to see what was going on.
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Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkJzLIuDps
Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
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“ What do you want Sheldon?!”, Penny hissed at her neurotic friend in an irritated way when she opened the door.
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“ I just want to know what the problem is. You seem upset.”, Sheldon said in concern as he stared at his blonde-haired friend.
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“ That’s because I am! I just got off the phone with a movie producer for whom I just auditioned for a role in his movie earlier today and I didn’t get the part! Another stupid failed acting audition!”, Penny hissed.
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“ I see. Well, perhaps I shall come in and we can discuss it?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Yeah sure, come in.”, Penny irritatedly said as she stepped aside. Sheldon walked in and shut the door behind him. As he sat down next to her on her teal colored couch she continued venting her problems.
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“ Ugh, I am so sick of failing audition after audition! I need to just face it that I’m never going to be a successful actress and I might as well just go back home to Nebraska with nothing but a walk of shame to my name!”, Penny hissed. But the second she did is when she received a hard slap across the face from Sheldon.
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“ Ow! Sheldon?!”, Penny shrieked as she rubbed her assaulted cheek.
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“ Forgive me for doing that to you Penny but you are talking complete nonsense! There’s no way that I’m just going to sit back and watch one of my best friends give up on a career that she clearly looks like she wants to achieve! You have too many friends here that really care about you and a 14 year old autistic niece that loves you very much! You can’t just leave just because things don’t seem to be going your way! That’s like taking the coward’s way out!”, Sheldon scolded.
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“ I know that but what am I supposed to do Sheldon?! I already told my parents the day I left Omaha that I was going to be successful and I feel like I’m just lying straight to their faces now! And to top it all off I spent 4 years of my life with a guy who treated me like crap! It’s like I have no outlet anymore and I feel like I’m just letting everyone down! I just wish that for once in my life I could actually accomplish something instead of being just this dumb uneducated blonde from Nebraska!”, Penny screamed. She then started to cry and buried her face into her hands.
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“ There there.”, Sheldon said as he awkwardly patted her back with a gentle hand. Then he said, “ Penny, you may be a community college drop out but you’re not a dumb blonde that everybody thinks you are. You know a lot more than you give yourself credit for.”
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“ No I really don’t Sheldon and I don’t like feeling like this, especially in front of Cayela! I don’t want her feeling upset thinking that her Auntie Penny is nothing but a big ol’ slut!”, Penny cried.
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“ Oh Penny, Cayela doesn’t care about what your success rate is. She’s just happy to have you in her life period. She loves you regardless of what you do with your life. Even if you were an alien from another planet she’d still love you.”, Sheldon said as he shook his head.
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“ Yeah but you wouldn’t! You would have thought I was a freak!”, Penny cried.
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“ That’s not true at all. I’d still be your best friend.”, Sheldon said. Penny just continued crying so Sheldon gently lifted her chin up with his finger forcing her to look at him.
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“ Come on Penny stop crying. I really hate seeing you like this just like I really hate seeing my wife Leo upset too.”, Sheldon said as he gently wiped away his friend’s tears with his thumb.
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“ You’re such a whackadoodle!”, Penny laughed as she playfully punched her physicist friend in the chest.
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“ That’s Dr. Whackadoodle to you!”, Sheldon said with a smirk on his face as he stood up from the couch.
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“ Oh what difference does it make?! You’re still the same batcrap crazy robot guy I met all those years ago when I first moved in here except the only difference is that you have a wife and a daughter now!”, Penny laughed as she stood up from the couch too.
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“ Indeed it is, but I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Oh shut the hell up Dr. C!”, Penny laughed.
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“ That’s Dr. Cooper!”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ And this is why you’re my best friend!”, Penny laughed.
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“ Precisely correct.”, Sheldon said.
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“ So what do I do about my acting career?”, Penny asked.
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“ Well, I believe there’s a solution to every problem. Although this really isn’t my area of focus, I believe I can help you a little bit with your problem. Wait here one moment please.”, Sheldon said as he turned around and walked out of Penny’s apartment for a second.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGI2EIrqsUE
Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm849nfFRCg
Knock knock knock! “ Penny!”
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“ Sheldon Lee Cooper just come in! You don’t need to do that every time you leave the room!”, Penny interjected.
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“ One, yes I do and two, I thought we could start out with something simple. Here you are.”, Sheldon said as he came back in with a few freshly printed out sheets of paper and handed one set to Penny. The moment Penny looked at it she rolled her eyes at him.
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“ Are you freaking kidding me?! What the hell is this?!”, Penny interjected as she continued to stare at the dialogue on the pieces of paper and back at her neurotic friend.
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“ It’s the end part of the transcript for season 1 episode 5 of the 2003 tv series for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s an argument between Casey Jones and April O’neal.”, Sheldon said with a stupid smirk on his face.
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“ Ok Dr. Whackadoodle this is ridiculous! How is this going to help me with my acting?!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Oh believe me, it’s going to help you more than you think. Now I believe I start…”, Sheldon started to say.
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“ Sheldon this is from a children’s tv show! I still don’t understand how this is going to help me!”, Penny hissed at the tall, lanky physicist.
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“ It’s an example of basic drama! Now do you want my help or not?!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Yes I want your help but I don’t want to embarass myself either! Leo, Leonard, Dakota and Cayela are going to hear everything we’re doing over here and I don’t want that!”, Penny hissed.
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“ No they will not! Dakota’s at a fight, Leonard’s in his lab at Caltech, Leo is out running errands as we speak and Cayela is at her friend Charlotte’s house. And before you say anything Melissa’s not here either because she’s working too. There’s no one else here besides you and I and the only living thing that’s still around over at my apartment right now is Oreo and she’s just a little black kitty cat.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Ok but still, I don’t want to embarass myself!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Penny I’m one of your best friends, I would never make fun of you. We have known each other for years.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Alright fine, we’ll do the scene! But if anybody hears this Sheldon Cooper then I’m gonna go Junior Rodeo on your a**!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Fair enough.”, Sheldon said. The two of them then set up Penny’s living room for the scene and Sheldon started it off. The first two lines weren’t that bad but when the gibberish line came up Penny ended up saying it wrong so Sheldon had to stop it right in the middle.
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“ Ok cut! Penny you don’t say it like that!”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well I don’t know how to say it! It’s just a bunch of gibberish!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Well you’re not even trying to say it right!”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yes I am Sheldon but it’s too hard to say! I’m not used to saying stuff like this! I never learned this kind of thing in acting class!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Well you’re never going to learn it if you don’t try. Now let’s start again.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Fine, take 2!”, Penny hissed as they restarted the scene. But once again Penny couldn’t say the line right so they had to stop again.
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“ Focus Penny, focus! Let it flow within you!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ I’m trying Sheldon but you won’t quit yelling at me!”, Penny interjected back.
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“ I’m not yelling at you! I’m just giving you constructed criticism! This is just the kind of thing you need to learn how to deal with if you’re ever going to be successful in an acting career or whatever you want to do with your life! Now let’s try again! Try to really get a feel for April’s character!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Ok, take 3! The one that’s going to make you alligator food if it doesn’t work!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Do not threaten me!”, Sheldon interjected as they went through the scene a third time, then a fourth, then a fifth until finally on the sixth try they managed to get through the whole scene without any trouble.
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“ Well done Penny.”, Sheldon said with a satisfied smile on his face.
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“ Thank you Sheldon.”, Penny said.
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“ I believe you owe me an apology for the threats you made against me for this.”, Sheldon said.
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“ I am sorry Sheldon.”, Penny said.
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“ Thank you.”, Sheldon said. For the next few days things seemed quiet and normal that is until a shady, evil plan was being conspired. Refusing to be defeated so easily, Skye Stormbender suddenly broke out of prison after nearly decapitating several guards and hijacked a SWAT Team truck. She then headed straight for the Juvenile Detention Center where she attacked several more guards before freeing her twin boys from their cells.
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“ Yes, ha ha! We’re free!”, Gavin exclaimed as he let out an evil laugh.
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“ You got that right bro!”, Larry exclaimed in an evil tone.
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“ We’re not out of the woods yet boys! We still have to take out a few more guards! Follow me!”, Skye interjected as she motioned for her sons to follow her. After knocking out a few more guards the three of them rammed through the gate with the stolen SWAT truck and hit the streets of Pasadena.
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“ See ya suckers! Aha ha ha ha ha!”, Skye shouted out the window with an evil laugh.
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“ Where are we going Ma?!”, Larry interjected.
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“ We’re going to complete phase 1 of our plan! First stop, 2311 North Los Robles Avenue Apartment 4A!”, Skye interjected with a sinister smile on her face as she was driving the truck. Once they got to the apartment complex Skye hid the truck behind some bushes and told her boys to scale the wall up to Cayela’s bedroom.
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“ You got it Ma! Let’s go Gavin!”, Larry interjected as he dragged his twin brother with him toward the building. They began to scale the wall and stopped just outside Cayela’s bedroom window.
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“ How’s it looking up there?!”, Skye interjected into a walkie talkie.
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“ It’s perfect Ma! She’s actually asleep!”, Gavin interjected back into the other walkie talkie as him and his brother were watching Cayela sleeping in her bed.
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“ Well then grab her and let’s get out of here before those dunce cap cops come after us!”, Skye interjected.
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“ Copy that! You got the chizzle Larry?!”, Gavin interjected.
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“ Got it right here Gavin!”, Larry interjected as he pulled out a chizzle from his back pocket.
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“ Good! Now jam it under the window but not too loudly! We don’t want to wake up that stupid girl and ruin this whole plan!”, Gavin interjected.
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“ I got it! You don’t need to yell at me!”, Larry interjected as he quietly jammed the chizzle under the crack of the window breaking the seal which allowed him to quietly open the window without waking up Cayela. But the second the two of them stepped onto her bed Cayela suddenly woke up screaming only to be knocked out by Gavin.
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“ What’s going on in there?! Who’s in my daughter’s bedroom?!”
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“ Oh sh*t, it’s Dr. Cooper! We got to get out of here Gavin!”, Larry quietly hissed under his breath when him and Gavin suddenly heard Sheldon’s shouting voice and footsteps coming toward the door of the bedroom.
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“ I second that Larry! Let’s go!”, Gavin quietly hissed as the two 16 year olds quickly dragged an unconscious Cayela out the window and were out of sight by the time Sheldon entered his daughter’s bedroom. When he saw the open window and noticed that his daughter was missing from her bed he immediately began to panic just like any other father would when they find their daughter’s missing. He immediately told his wife, his best friend and his best friend’s wife about what just happened and they also began to panic. After dropping her boys off at her brother’s underground lair Skye proceeded with phase 2 which was she was going to go to Howard and Bernadette’s house next. She broke into the house through the kitchen window and stole Howard’s laptop off his desk in the living room before making her escape back out the window but not before inadvertently dropping her prison ID tag on the floor. Howard and Bernadette immediately heard this and came running down the stairs to see what happened.
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“ What the hell was that Howard?!”, Bernadette shrieked.
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“ I don’t know Bernadette!”, Howard screamed as he started looking around. When he noticed that his laptop was missing from his desk he shrieked, “ Oh son of a bitch, no no no! My laptop’s gone! Somebody must have broke in here and stolen it!”
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“ Howie it’s not a big deal! We can get you a new laptop!”, Bernadette screamed.
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“ No Bernie you don’t understand! This could be really bad if my laptop ends up in the wrong hands! I got to call the others now!”, Howard screamed as he frantically took out his phone and called their friends telling them to get over there as soon as possible. Shortly after the others left for Howard and Bernadette’s and unknown to everyone else Raven suddenly carefully lowered herself down from the air duct into 4A’s living room and walked over to Oreo’s cat tree where Oreo was just taking a catnap.
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“ Come here you stupid cat!”, Raven hissed as she reached out to grab her only to receive a defensive paw swipe from Oreo with the claws all the way out as well as an angry hiss from her.
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“ Don’t you give me attitude you pathetic feline! I said come here!”, Raven hissed as she grabbed Oreo who was still trying to defend herself. She was like a black panther trying to compete for survival in the wild but no matter what she did she was no match for Raven’s grasp. Raven catnapped her and took her back up with her through the air duct. Meanwhile as the gang was trying to figure out what happened at Howard and Bernadette’s, Cayela’s friends including Arista arrived there too to see what was going on.
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“ What’s going on here?”, Arista asked in concern but the second she did Howard threw his finger at her and accusingly shouted, “YOU! You did this Stormbender! I’m gonna kill you!” Arista screamed and hid behind Florence and Charlotte as Howard was trying to get at her but was stopped by his wife and friends as they held him back. Danny positioned himself in between the conflict putting his hands up in defense shouting, “ Woah woah woah, take it easy! You can’t just go after a teenage girl like that! What is wrong with you Howard?!”
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“ What do you mean what is wrong with me Danny?! That little descendant of that crazy scientist stole my laptop and probably had something to do with Cayela’s disappearance too! I want to kill her for this!”, Howard shouted as he kept trying to get at Arista.
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“ Are you insane?! Are you out of your mind?! Arista would do no such thing!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ What are you talking about Sheldon?! I know she had something to do with it! Her innocent act is not going to fool me!”, Howard shouted.
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“ What are you talking about Mr. Wolowitz?! I didn’t do anything!”, Arista shrieked.
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“ Yeah why are you accusing her of doing something that she would never do in the first place?!”, Florence interjected.
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“ Stop trying to defend her Florence! She’s lying!”, Howard shouted.
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“ No she’s not! This is the first time we’re all hearing about this including her!”, Charlotte interjected. Summer, Julia and Robbie all nodded their heads together.
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“ Yeah I’ve been with my mother this whole time helping her teach her class!”, Arista interjected.
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“ I don’t believe you! You’re just making up stuff to get yourself out of trouble!”, Howard shouted.
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“ I didn’t take your laptop and I had nothing to do with Cayela’s disappearance! Cayela’s my friend! Why would you think I would do something like that to her?!”, Arista interjected.
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“ Oh please, you know what I’m getting at! To get her to trust you just so you can stab her in the back as well as the rest of us!”, Howard shouted.
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“ I’m not lying, I swear! Look I’ll show you the school’s security footage on my phone! There’s cameras all over that building that record everything 24/7!”, Arista interjected as she took out her cell phone and clicked on her security camera app for the elementary school that her mother works at. She then flashed the screen in front Howard’s eyes and as he started watching it he began to suddenly feel like an idiot for the way he acted. The footage showed Mrs. Stormbender and Arista just like she said it would entering the building and heading to Mrs. Stormbender’s classroom. The camera then switched over to the camera inside the classroom showing the two of them helping each other out with the day’s lesson. Arista was there the entire time and didn’t once leave that classroom for any reason what so ever.
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“ Ok, I believe you now. I’m sorry.”, Howard said as he started to calm down.
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“ It’s ok. I forgive you.”, Arista said.
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“ You guys can let me go now.”, Howard said. His wife and his friends then released their grip on him after making sure that he wasn’t going to go bazerk again.
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“ So what do we do now?!”, Amy asked.
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“ I say we go all Nebraska on whoever the hell these asshole jerks were that did this!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Penny this is preposterous! We don’t even know who did it in the first place!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ If I can just say something here for a minute, this whole thing is completely stupid!”, Raj interjected after he just took a placebo pill.
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“ Yeah I agree! Ige ontong babogadoeeo!”, Yesenia interjected.
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“ You guys, enough!”, Leonard interjected.
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“ Leonard shut up!”, Dakota, Molly and Leo interjected.
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“ Hey! I have a solution for all of this! Why don’t I take a few minutes to look around here and I’ll see who did it!”, Arista interjected.
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“ Good idea Arista!”, Robbie exclaimed as she scratched the back of her head.
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“ Woah woah woah, just because I believe you on that one statement you made doesn’t mean I trust you!”, Howard interjected.
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“ Look I promise you Mr. Wolowitz that I’m not the enemy! Just give me a few to look around here and I can tell you who did this!”, Arista interjected.
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“ Alright fine! But I’m going to watch what you’re doing!”, Howard interjected.
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“ Fair enough.”, Arista said as she began to search the area.
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“ Ok, it looks like we got some broken glass here that’s trailing.”, Arista said as she saw a line of broken glass shards on the floor.
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“ Broken glass!”, Summer exclaimed in a sing song voice causing the other girls to start cracking up.
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“ You guys shut up! I’m concentrating here!”, Arista interjected at her friends as she was following the broken glass trail.
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“ Sorry Arista!”, Julia laughed. The broken glass trail that Arista was following ended at the kitchen window and she interjected, “ Aha just as I suspected! It was my stupid crazy Aunt Skye that did it!”
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“ WHAT?!”, the others interjected.
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“ How do you know it was her?!”, Howard interjected.
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“ I think her prison ID tag speaks for itself! She left the most incriminating piece of evidence behind!”, Arista interjected as she held up her aunt’s prison ID tag that was on the floor.
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“ DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!”, Florence, Charlotte, Summer, Julia and Robbie interjected with dramatic effect.
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“ Oh HELLS no! That’s it, we’re dead! If she activates that program it’s GAME OVER!”, Howard shrieked.
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“ What program?!”, Arista shrieked.
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“ The deletion program that Amy and I used to get rid of your father!”, Howard shrieked.
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“ Howie would you calm down?!”, Bernadette hissed at her husband.
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“ No Bernie I told you that you don’t understand! This could be really bad! If Skye reverses that program on my laptop she’s going to bring Devon back into the world from cyberspace, regenerate his body and then we’re all going to be in trouble! Not to mention last time we had an encounter with her, she threatened to blast Cayela into cyberspace!”, Howard shrieked.
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“ Oh well she’s not doing that without a fight! Please wait here one moment!”, Arista interjected as she went out the back door of the house. She came back with a metal trash can top and then she grabbed a kitchen knife out of the wooden block that was sitting on the counter.
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“ What the frack?!”, Howard exclaimed.
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“ Now, let’s go have a little chat with my so-called family!”, Arista interjected as she tapped the knife once against the metal lid.
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“ Do you even know where they’re at Arista?!”, Leonard asked.
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“ Oh I know exactly where they’re at Dr. Hofstadter they’re down in my dad’s stupid lair, no doubtly scheming it up with each other! Follow me you guys!”, Arista interjected as she walked past the others and out the front door. The others then followed her.
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Dr. Stormbender’s underground lair…
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“ Oh wacko family, come out to play! Show your stupid faces you evil cowards!”, Arista shouted as she entered her father’s dark lair with the others following in behind her. She was banging the knife against the trash can top as she was saying this.
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To be continued…
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