Chapter 56
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A few days later one evening as Florence was trying to come to terms with her sister’s unexpected death she found herself standing in the corner of the gymnasium near the entrance doors talking to her boyfriend Terrance just as their gymnastics meet was about to start.
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“ Are you sure you want to do this right now babe? Because I can very easily go tell Coach Bixler to not make you do anything tonight if you don’t feel up to it.”, Terrance asked in concern as he looked at his girlfriend straight in the face while standing a few feet in front of her with his hands on her shoulder.
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“ That’s really sweet of you Terry but please don’t. I really need to do something to get my mind off of this whole mess because if I don’t then I’m just gonna end up being a complete basket case the whole time and I know that’s not what Julianne would want from me. She would want me to be happy doing something that I love to do rather than me being upset that she’s not here anymore.”, Florence said in a serious voice.
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“ That’s very true, she would. Alright well if you say so, let’s go then. Our meet is about to start anyway.”, Terrance said in concern with a sigh as he began to head towards the mat where their other teammates were gathered at just talking to each other while Coach Bixler picked up his clipboard as well as his whistle to start blowing it, signaling the beginning of the meet.
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“ Ok… get it together Florence, you can do this.”, Florence said with a sigh as she took a deep breath to gather all the strength she could muster and followed him as well so they could hear what their gymnastics coach had to say. Things seemed normal for a little bit especially after Coach Bixler blew his whistle to start the warmup session but halfway into it however as the others were doing their warmups with Terrance periodically glancing at her to make sure she was ok Florence suddenly stopped what she was doing and choked out, “ I can’t do this!” before she suddenly collapsed into a sitting position onto the mat just sobbing her eyes out which instantly gained the attention of everyone else including her boyfriend who immediately all stopped what they were doing to look at her the moment Coach Bixler blew his whistle again when he realized that something was wrong.
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“ What the…?! Florence!”, Jason, Tara, Kristen, Cammi, and Carina gasped in horror and concern when they saw what was going on with their teammate and began to gather around her along with Deidra, Theora, Terrance, and Coach Bixler too.
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“ Oh for pete’s sake you got to be kidding! What the hell is your problem all of a sudden Crenshamoron?! What are you crying about?!”, Deidra hissed in a rude tone as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.
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“ Deidra buzz off, I’m not in the mood for your comments and it’s Crenshamezki! How many times do I have keep telling you that?!”, Florence cried.
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“ I don’t know, how about who gives a crap times you big baby?! This is ridiculous!”, Deidra hissed.
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“ No you’re being ridiculous! Just lay off her would ya?! You can see she’s clearly upset here so don’t make it worse than it already is by saying things you shouldn’t say in the first place! It’s not nice!”, Theora interjected at her as she pointed at Florence.
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“ Yes, thank you Theora Wavebird! I was just about to say that so you zip your lip Deidra Mackabee because your comments aren’t needed at the moment and Florence Crenshamezki are you alright?!”, Coach Bixler interjected at Theora and scolded Deidra for what she said before he turned to Florence asking her that last part in concern.
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“ No I’m not Coach Bixler, I’m a complete mess right now and I don’t know I just… stupid pericardial effusion, why?! This is bullsh*t!”, Florence cried as she suddenly stood up and bolted out of the gym into hallway just letting out a screaming cry with every breath she took which began to really concern some of the others who didn’t know about the situation that had taken place recently in Florence’s life and they began to wonder what this was about.
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“ Florence get back here, where are you going?! You can’t just…!”, Coach Bixler scolded in concern as he threw his head back and rolled his eyes.
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“ Oh hell, I knew this was going to happen right from the get-go! Excuse us for a moment Coach Bixler, come on Theora let’s go!”, Terrance said with a concerned sigh before he began racing to the door to go after his girlfriend.
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“ With pleasure Terrance!”, Theora said in concern as she began to follow him making the two of them scream, “ Florence?!” as they shoved the two heavy gymnasium entrance doors open.
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“ Not now Terry and Theora, just leave me alone! For God’s sake Julianne why?! This isn’t fair! I want you back!”, Florence’s sobbing voice rang out from the hallway.
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“ What a baby!”, Deidra scoffed in a nonchalant manner.
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“ Deidra shut your trap! You’re not helping the situation!”, Cammi hissed at her with clenched fists at her sides.
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“ Why don’t you just shut your own trap Cammi and mind your own business! Who asked you?!”, Deidra shot back at her.
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“ My god, for the last time will you quit screaming at my sister you snot-nosed witch! Nobody has time for your rude remarks right now! One of our teammates is clearly upset about something at the moment and you’re acting like it’s not a big deal or not important when in reality it very much is a big deal! Just stop before you make me staple my ears shut because this is ridiculous and so uncalled for!”, Carina shouted at her.
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“ Shut your trap too Carina because no one was talking to you!”, Deidra shouted in her face.
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“ As if, bitch!”, Carina shouted which instantly made some of the others including her twin sister gasp in complete shock before they instantly started laughing in amusement at the fact that she just dropped the B word right to Deidra’s face with seemingly no shame at all at what she just said.
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“ Excusez-moi?!”, Deidra shot back in French with wide eyes and her mouth gaping open at what she just heard.
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“ You heard what I said! I said you’re a…!”, Carina started to shout back while pointing at her but was quickly interrupted when Coach Bixler blew his whistle and shouted, “ Carina do not say that again because that’s very inappropriate and as for you Deidra, that’s enough! Now all of you just sit down and be quiet for a moment, I’m going to go see what’s up with Crenshamezki and see if she’s ok!” before he quickly bolted out of the gym into the hallway to go check on Florence leaving the rest of the gymnastics team to their own devices.
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“ Hey what’s going on out here Florence Crenshamezki?! What are you upset about right now?! Did something bad happen recently that I don’t know about?!”, Coach Bixler asked in concern when he approached her as she was being consoled by Terrance and Theora when they had finally caught up to her.
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“ Yes, I just lost my sister Julianne unexpectedly a week and a half ago and I already miss her very much even though it’s been a few days since we buried her!”, Florence cried.
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“ What?! Are you kidding me?! That’s awful, what happened?!”, Coach Bixler asked in shock and concern as he gasped in horror.
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“ Cardiac arrest associated with pericardial effusion is what happened. She was sitting in her wheelchair in front of the tv at home one afternoon when it happened. It all happened within about 5 seconds completely out of nowhere.”, Terrance sadly said as Theora stood next to him nodding her head in silence.
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“ Oh son of a bi*ch, that’s… that’s terrible. I’m so sorry for your loss Florence.”, Coach Bixler said with a sad sigh as he shook his head.
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“ Thanks Coach Bixler, it just sucks so much and it’s the worst pain that I’ve ever felt in my life! It feels like I was just hit by an entire wall of bricks!”, Florence cried as she took a tissue from her boyfriend when he handed it to her and blew her nose with it.
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“ Yeah I would imagine so. Do you need a few minutes to decompress on the sidelines or something? I don’t have any problem with you doing that whatsoever at the moment.”, Coach Bixler asked in concern.
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“ Yeah I think so because right now I’m just a bit overwhelmed with emotions, thank you.”, Florence sniffled as she wiped her tears away from her face.
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“ No problem. Let’s get back in the gym now and continue where we left off while you just take a few minutes to collect yourself.”, Coach Bixler said as he then walked back into the gym with Terrance and Theora followed him, dragging Florence with them.
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“ Ok.”, Florence sniffled as she then grabbed her water bottle and went to go sit down on the sidelines to watch everyone else for a few minutes.
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“ Oh look, Crenshamoron’s back! Ain’t this sweet?! You done crying and interrupting us you big baby?!”, Deidra rudely said as she crossed her arms.
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“ Leave me alone right now you witch! I’m not in the mood for this!”, Florence snapped back at her as she took a sip of her water bottle while sitting on the floor off the mat on the sidelines with her legs and knees pressed up against her stomach and chest area.
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“ Oh puhlease, you’re not in the mood for what?! What the hell is your problem all of a sudden?!”, Deidra snapped as she rolled her eyes.
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“ I don’t have a problem Deidra Alexis, you do! I said to just leave me alone! Shut up before you make me want to dump my water bottle all over your fat head for being the biggest snot that ever walked the face of the Earth in the first place!”, Florence shouted as she set the bottle down next to her, giving the other girl a death glare as if to say that she wasn’t playing around.
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“ Why don’t you shut up and bite me before I ride up your a** for that comment you just made towards me, Florence Mary Jane!”, Deidra shouted back before she blew a raspberry at her.
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“ Not before I do that to you first! Leave me alone! How many times do I have to tell you that!”, Florence shouted as she shot up to her feet, clenching her fists at her sides as if she was getting ready to punch someone in the face.
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“ Yeah seriously Deidra, quit harassing my girlfriend! She doesn’t need this crap at the moment! She just had a family tragedy happen to her and what you’re saying is not helping right now!”, Terrance shouted as he stood a few feet away on the mat.
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“ Oh big whoopdy doo, like I care about that McFalbride! You shut up too, no one was talking to you!”, Deidra shouted back at him as she spun on her heel to face him.
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“ For the last time it’s McFalcon! Stop it! Nobody wants to hear this anymore!”, Terrance shouted.
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“ Yes thank you Terrance! This is getting very old and you know what that’s it, I’ve had it! I’m not going to put up with it anymore! Deidra can I please see you out in the hallway for a moment?!”, Coach Bixler shouted as he pointed his finger at the door when he walked towards it.
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“ Why Coach?! What the hell do you want now?! This is ridiculous!”, Deidra shouted as she crossed her arms.
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“ Excuse me but it’s not ridiculous and you know what I want young lady! Get out here now! I’m not going to tell you again and as for the rest of you except for Florence at the moment, please get back to your warm up exercises! I’ll be back in a few more minutes!”, Coach Bixler shouted as he stood by the door.
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“ Bite me! I’m not doing crap!”, Deidra shouted as she refused to move.
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“ You’re going to do whatever I tell you to do whether you want to or not! Hallway, now Deidra!”, Coach Bixler shouted as he pointed out the door when he opened it just as everyone else resumed their warm up routines.
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“ Fine, whatever jack!”, Deidra hissed as she reluctantly stormed out into the hallway after she grabbed her water bottle to drink from it with Coach Bixler following her letting the door swing shut behind them as he shouted, “ Do not disrespect me like that! I’m an adult which means you have to listen to what I say whenever you’re here but apparently it’s obviously very clear to me that you can’t seem to listen to anything that anybody says let alone respect your teammates around you so you know what, get your stuff and go home! You’re off the team Deidra Alexis Mackabee! I’m calling your parents to come pick you up!” before he took out his cell phone to call the Mackabees to come pick their daughter up.
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“ Are you flipping kidding me?! You’re kicking me out?!”, Deidra shouted.
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“ Yes because I’ve had enough of you being disrespectful to me and your teammates every single meet as well as you ignoring everything I say! These are the consequences for your actions! Nobody is ever gonna tolerate being treated like trash so get out, now!”, Coach Bixler shouted as he pointed at another door with one hand that lead to the parking lot outside the building with his phone pressed against his ear in his other hand, listening to the dial tone.
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“ Fine I will then because I never wanted to be on this team anyway! It’s just full of annoying useless idiots who can’t do anything right no matter how many times being told to do the same thing over and over again! Cheese and crackers!”, Deidra shouted as she then went back into the gym for a moment to grab the rest of her things before she stormed out of the building, slamming the door behind her. Her parents picked her up a short time later after they got off the phone with Coach Bixler who told them of what happened to which they immediately screamed at their daughter for the way she acted and told her that she was grounded for 5 weeks. The rest of the gymnastics meet continued as normal for the rest of the night after Florence collected herself enough to continue before her, her boyfriend, and the rest of the team were picked up by parents to head home except for Florence who wanted to go see Leonard and hang out with Cayela and Athena for a few minutes to help get her mind off of her emotions that she was feeling at that moment while at the same time Carina gets grounded for the next week by hers and Cammi’s parents for saying the B word when they found out about it from Coach Bixler. Then 2 weeks later as things began to settle down and get back to somewhat normal Sheldon and Dakota decided to go out and do something around town with Leo’s sister Amanda who flew in from Savannah one evening while most of the others were working late and Cayela and Athena were spending the night at Florence’s house leaving Leo and Leonard alone at the apartment with Oreo to hang out with each other shortly after Leo finished cleaning up the kitchen.
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“ Well it’s official Leonard, all bets are completely off the table now that our spouses just left to go hang out with my sister Amanda, everyone else is working, and the girls are spending the night at Florence’s house.”, Leo said with a smile as she leaned against the kitchen island in the kitchen looking at Leonard who was sitting on a stool directly across from her on the other side of it just looking down at his phone. He was wearing the same outfit that he wore the day he tried to drop Sheldon off for his haircut at his barber shop only to almost immediately leave after Sheldon found out his barber was in the hospital while Leo was wearing the same outfit she wore the day that she first met Sheldon and Leonard in their apartment complex lobby when she was moving in.
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“ Well I like the sound of that Leo. This is great, I can’t even remember the last time it was just the two of us hanging out together.”, Leonard said with a smile as he looked up at her and set his phone down.
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“ Yeah I know, it’s been a while.”, Leo said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.
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“ It definitely has.”, Leonard said as he nodded his head and pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose before he sucked on his inhaler for a second to stop himself from getting another asthma attack.
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“ Uh huh.”, Leo said before she leaned forward a bit and asked with a child-like smirk, “ You want to do something fun and stupid?”
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“ Sure I guess. What did you have in mind?”, Leonard asked as he shrugged his shoulders before he stood up from where he was sitting in front of his friend and backed up a bit.
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“ I don’t know. Does this maybe answer your question?”, Leo said as she walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer can out of it, tossing it to him before she poured herself a glass of wine with the very same smirk on her face.
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“ You fucking bitch, I can already tell where this is going. We’re gonna get drunk crazy and end up listening to music aren’t we?”, Leonard said as a smirk began to spread across his face too when he cracked open the can to take a swig from it.
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“ That pretty much sums up what I was thinking. That’s exactly what we’re going to do. Cheers Hofstadter.”, Leo said with a giddy laugh as she held up her wine glass.
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“ For God sakes you kill me Fordyce-Cooper! Cheers to you too!”, Leonard laughed as he touched his beer can to Leo’s wine glass for a moment before the two of them took a sip of their drinks together. The two physicists then found themselves dancing like drunken idiots after Leo downed nearly an entire bottle of wine as well as Leonard guzzling down about 7 to 8 beer cans around the living room moments later to the explicit version of Rosa Parks by Outkast playing on Leo’s laptop that was plugged into Leonard’s speaker system on his desk in somewhat of a loud thumping bass sound shortly after they moved all of the furniture out of the way.
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Ah-ha hush that fuss
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Everybody move to the back of the bus
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Do you wanna bump and slump with us
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We the type of people make the club get crunk
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Ah-ha huss that fuss
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Everybody move to the back of the bus
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Do you wanna bump and slump with us
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We the type of people make the club get crunk
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“ Best stupid and fun idea you’ve ever had Leo! You’re seriously one of the greatest best friends I’ve ever had in my life!”, Leonard laughed in somewhat of a slurred speech as he was repeatedly bumping his back against Leo’s just shaking his hips and swinging his arms around as if he was a teenage boy to the beat of the alternative hip hop/rap song thumping out of the speakers and bouncing off the walls of the apartment as if it was a nightclub.
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“ I know right Leonard?! Same with you to me, this is sick! Get it Outkast!”, Leo laughed as she was doing the same thing back to Leonard. The locket that she was still wearing around her neck that Sheldon gave her a long time ago for one of their previous wedding anniversaries was swinging around from her movements she was making as well.
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“ Hell yeah! Word to your mother a**holes! It’s going down like the Dark Side in here! Dr. Leonard Hofstadter and Dr. Leo Fordyce-Cooper in the house yo!”, Leonard laughed as he dropped a Star Wars reference while him and Leo continued acting like freaks to the music and dancing in a circle with their backs to each other.
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“ Yeah what he said! Get out of our friggin’ way losers! This is our turf!”, Leo laughed as she was twerking all over the place.
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“ Oh shut up, that didn’t even make any sense you bi*ch!”, Leonard laughed as he was nodding his head to the music.
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“ I beg to differ you asthmatic dork or should I quote my deceased enemy Dr. Devon Stormbender and say you asthmatic fool?!”, Leo laughed in his face with a stupid drunken smirk on hers as the music kept thumping out of the speakers.
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“ Oh ho ho you did not just go there with Dr. Stormbender sister! I’m going to take you down for saying that Fordyce-Cooper!”, Leonard laughed with a evil like smirk.
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“ Oh really?! I’d like to see you try Hofstadter! It’s on like Donkey Kong now, Rosa Parks song style of course!”, Leo laughed.
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“ Rosa Parks song my a**! Come here Leo you’re gonna…!”, Leonard laughed as he suddenly sprinted after his friend like a drunken idiot down the hallway towards the bedrooms with her drunkenly laughing at the top of her voice while trying not to stumble over herself, “ Oh HELL no, you get away from me you bitchin’ bastard! This ain’t The Force chasing after The Rebel Alliance!” with the Outkast song still thumping from the speakers in the living room.
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SLAM!
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“ That’s what you think! Come here you Dark Side Rebel woman you’re going to space jail for that comment you just made!”
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( sounds of lightsaber props turning on)
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“ I don’t think so buster, you’ll have to engage in a lightsaber duel to the death with me first before I let you do anything to me!”, Leo laughed as she suddenly ran back out to the living room swinging a lightsaber in her hand at Leonard who was following behind her doing the same thing back at her, making the two glowing sticks hiss like they did in the Star Wars movies as they smacked into each other.
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“ Oh yeah?! Care to put your money where your mouth is?!”, Leonard laughed as he swung his lightsaber at her again.
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“ I’m already doing that smart ass! May The Force Be With You!”, Leo laughed as she did the same thing back to him again all while the music was still playing in the air.
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“ Not a chance you Flobots princess! You’re going down! Surrender yourself and no one gets hurt!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ Never you Jar Jar Binks lunatic! You ain’t arresting me for this shit!”, Leo laughed as she backed up away from him still swinging her lightsaber at him.
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“ We’ll just see about that Leo! Come here, you’re gonna get it now for saying that!”, Leonard laughed as he then playfully swung his lightsaber at his friend’s hip knocking her to the floor causing her to let out a laughing scream as she then tried to roll away from him after they both dropped their lightsabers just as Leonard was reaching up into a drawer of Sheldon’s desk with a twitching hand to grab the same set of handcuffs that Sheldon had used on Leo back when they were dating shortly after her and Dakota got in trouble for spinning around in computer chairs while taking shots of Vodka and listening to Dakota’s favorite song on Leo’s iPod downstairs in 2A when Leo was still living there at the time.
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Meow?
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Many a day has passed, the night has gone by
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But I still find the time to put that bump off in yo’ eye
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Total chaos, for these playas, thought we was absent
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We taking another route to represent the Dungeon Family
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“ Oreo help me! I’m being attacked by a drunken a** maniac!”, Leo laughed when Oreo suddenly came trotting into the room from the hallway to see what was going on with her tail sticking up in curiosity as the music continued to play.
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“ Oreo’s just a cat! She’s not going to help you and shut up, no you’re not! You’re just imagining things! Special delivery bi*ch, give me your wrists! You’re going to space jail for what you just said! Your husband Sheldon ain’t here to save you at the moment!”, Leonard laughed as he continued to roll around on the floor with her trying to grab her wrists to slap the handcuffs on her.
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“ Yeah well your wife Dakota’s not here either so what’s your point buddy?! Get off of me Leonard, you’re hurting me!”, Leo laughed as she kept trying to get away from her friend.
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“ There’s no point little lady! You’re the one who asked for it in the first place you theoretical physicist!”, Leonard laughed.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwLDYXadgq
“ That’s a complete lie! I asked for no such thing you experimental physicist! Get off me Hofstadter or I’m gonna… ahhh!”, Leo laughed before she shrieked when Leonard suddenly grabbed a hold of her and pinned her arms behind her back.
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CLICK-SNAP!
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6qdyeWZhY
“ I got you now Fordyce-Cooper! Whatcha gonna do?!”, Leonard laughed as he pressed his knee into her back while gripping his hand on the metal chain of the handcuffs that he just slapped on her wrists.
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“ Ow, what the hell was that for geek face?! Get these cuffs off me or I swear on the grave of my fiance Sgt. Brady Brackman I’m gonna kick your a** for this and your daughter Athena’s gonna come home to a dead father in the morning!”, Leo laughed as she lifted her head up off the floor while she was laying on her stomach with her with her wrists cuffed behind her as the Outkast Rosa Parks alternative hip hop/rap song was still playing in the air from her laptop sitting on Leonard’s desk plugged into his speaker system.
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“ Not a chance, Cayela’s gonna come home to a dead mother instead! Now get in there and shut up you Rebel! You’re under arrest courtesy of The Jedi Force!”, Leonard laughed as he then yanked Leo up to her feet and walked her around behind the couch before he shoved her in the game closet, trapping her in there after he removed the handcuffs from her wrists as he then leaned his back against the door gripping one hand on the doorknob behind his back to hold it shut making Leo laugh from inside the dark closet, “ I don’t think so! Eat my dust you idiot!” before she started kicking at the door repeatedly as if she was a toddler trying to bust out of her room after receiving a punishment from her parents.
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“ Really Leo?! You’re gonna say the same thing to me that you said to a Savannah forest police officer when you were 14 years old?!”, Leonard laughed as he was still holding the closet door shut while nodding his head to the beat of the music still playing from Leo’s laptop.
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“ Yes I am! You got a problem with that Leonard?!”, Leo laughed as she kept kicking the door like a drunken idiot.
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“ No I don’t, I’m just screwing with you! Shut up, you ain’t allowed to say anything at the moment! You’re in space jail right now for being affiliated with The Rebel Alliance!”, Leonard laughed as he kept holding Leo captive in the closet.
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“ Space jail and Rebel Alliance my butt! Let me out of here Dr. Hofstadter! This is ridiculous and I can’t see anything!”, Leo laughed.
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“ Well tough rocks Dr. Fordyce-Cooper, I’m doing no such thing! You’re the one who asked for this in the first place when you turned this Outkast song on to begin with!”, Leonard laughed as his body was still jerking forward underneath Leo’s repetive kicks on the door he was still trying to hold shut.
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“ Excuse me but again I asked for no such thing mister! You’re losing your marbles with that one if that’s what you think this is!”, Leo laughed as she continued kicking the door like an immature child.
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“ No I think you’re losing yours bitch!”, Leonard laughed.
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Ah-ha hush that fuss
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiF2newthv
Everybody move to the back of the bus
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyOQT9yeFO
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwW5iO4qCB
We the type of people make the club get crunk, say
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6IqH2achP
Ah-ha huss that fuss
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQa9RJfB1V
Everybody move to the back of the bus
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Ed43PfmM
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrrVWkzO7n
We the type of people make the club get crunk
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLNynQBA1b
“ I am not! Open up this fucking door now before I kick it down on your head for this sh*t! You ain’t got nothing on me!”, Leo laughed.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyHTi6QvsE
“ What are you nuts?! You’re going to try kicking a door down on my head just for me shutting you up in a closet?! That’s criminal assault, you can’t do that!”, Leonard laughed as he kept trying to hold the door shut while the Rosa Parks song kept thumping out of the speaker system.
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“ So?! What’s your point about that Scooby-Doo?!”, Leo laughed as she kept kicking the door.
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“ I’m not that fictional mystery solving tv cartoon dog who pals around with Shaggy Rogers! I’m an experimental physicist with an IQ of 173 just like you’re a theoretical physicist with an IQ of 185 which is just two points lower than Sheldon’s at 187!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ You think I don’t know that just because we’re drunk as hell at the moment?! Because I still do you a**hole doctor! I’m not an idiot!”, Leo laughed as she kept trying to get out of the closet by kicking the door over the thumping music playing in the air.
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“ I didn’t say you were and fyi you’re more of an asshole doctor than I am Dr. Leo Alejandra Fordyce-Cooper and that’s really saying something about you at the moment!”, Leonard laughed as he shook his head.
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“ Oh just shut up Dr. Leonard Leaky Hofstadter you don’t even know what you’re saying right now! I swear to God if my husband was here at the moment seeing what we were doing he’d be absolutely pissed and would be screaming at us by now!”, Leo laughed.
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“ True but I don’t care! What the hell is Sheldon gonna do about this crap?! Give us strikes, divorce you and kick you, me, Dakota, Athena, Cayela, and Oreo out of the apartment for this?! I don’t think so! I’ll knock his crazy a** out before he even has the slightest chance to do that and then I’ll send him back to your mother-in law in Texas so she can deal with him! That’s a promise!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ Oh don’t even mention my mother-in law right now! If she knew what we were doing too she’d be smacking the living bejesus out of us with her Bible while saying to the effect of, “ Lord in Heaven, what is this tom foolery you’re doing Leo and Leonard?! The Lord did not put y’all on this Earth to act like this so quit screwing around like immature children and act your age! Y’all aren’t worshipping Satan here!”, Leo laughed as she imitated Mrs. Cooper’s voice over the Rosa Parks song still playing.
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“ Hey that’s pretty good Leo! That’s exactly what she’ll say about this!”, Leonard laughed as his body jerked forward again when Leo kicked the door again.
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“ I know right, thanks Leonard! I know her and her religious mentality so well now that I’ve been married to her son for several years already and we have a daughter together! Eat my dusty foot you space jail cell door!”, Leo laughed as she took one final big swift kick to the door which made Leonard finally let go of it as it swung open almost hitting him in the side of his face but didn’t when he drunkenly deflected it with his hands laughing like an idiot, “ Oh f*cking son of a bi*ch! Ahhh!” just as Leo stormed out of the closet with a stupid smirk on her face as if she was looking like she was about to start a friendly, playful, and drunken fight with him.
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“ Ha, I got out! Whatcha gonna do now genius?!”, Leo laughed as she stood a few feet in front of Leonard with her fists clenched at her sides with her body swaying slightly uncontrollably due to the alcohol induced intoxication she was under at that moment.
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“ Oh I’ll show you what I’m going to do, come here Leo! I’m gonna knock your a** out for that!”, Leonard laughed as he then jumped on her trying to put her in a headlock.
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“ That’s what you think Leonard! It’s your turn to go into space jail now! Get in there you Rebel! You’re under arrest!”, Leo laughed as she tried to shove Leonard in the closet too while the music was still playing on her laptop, thumping out of the speakers.
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“ I don’t think so! You ain’t arresting me! In fact to quote you, eat my dust you idiot!”, Leonard laughed as he shoved her away and ran away from her towards the front door to run down the stairs despite being intoxicated on alcohol.
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“ Oh no you don’t buster, get back here! You ain’t stealing my banter you laser operating geek!”, Leo laughed as she bolted after him out of the apartment and down the stairs leaving the door wide open while the music continued to play inside the apartment which instantly made Oreo venture out into the doorway just looking towards the stairwell in curiosity wondering what two of her owners were doing with each other.
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Meow?
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“ Too late, I just did pal! Get away from me Fordyce-Cooper!”
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“ Not a chance! Come here Hofstadter I’m taking you down for what you did to me in the first place!”
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“ That’s what you think sister! Why don’t you come here instead because you’re getting handcuffed again for this crap!”
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“ Oh hell no, you ain’t touching me with those handcuffs again! Get away from me you pyscho maniac! Oreo get out of the way, this runaway train’s coming down the tracks!”, Leo laughed as she suddenly came sprinting back up the stairs to run back into the apartment almost stumbling over her feet away from Leonard who was sprinting up the stairs behind her swinging around the same set of handcuffs that he slapped on her before he shoved her in the closet causing Oreo to skid away letting out a slight kitty screech back inside as well just as Leo and Leonard then flopped down on the couch with Leonard laying almost completely on top of her just playfully slapping at her arms and hands like a drunken idiot while also swinging the handcuffs at her as she was deflecting it back at him with the same movements with her hands and arms too.
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“ Oh yeah, now we’re simmering in water here! You got nowhere to go Leo! What’s your next move?!”, Leonard laughed as he kept playfully slapping her while at the same time trying to slap the handcuffs on her again.
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“ You already know what it is Leonard, it’s shoving you off of me you Forensic Files featured dingo dog!”, Leo laughed as she was playfully defending herself back against him over the thumping hip hop/rap music.
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“ That didn’t even make any sense what you just said!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ Oh shut up! Man I’m so grateful to have a best friend like you in my life! I love hanging out with you and being able to do stupid stuff like this whenever it feels appropriate!”, Leo laughed.
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“ Me too! I swear the day that Sheldon and I first met you in the building lobby downstairs several years ago was the greatest day of my life!”, Leonard laughed as he slapped her again, both with his hands as well as still trying to slap the handcuffs on her that he was still swinging at her wrists too.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROqRgsto1O
“ Hell yeah it was and I swear if you die before me someday I’m really gonna miss you and remember this moment of you and I getting drunk together while screwing around to this Rosa Parks song for the rest of my life!”, Leo laughed as she kept defending herself against her friend.
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“ Same here if it’s the other way around! This Outkast song rocks! I love it!”, Leonard laughed.
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“ I know, me too! Get off of me Leonard Hofstadter! What are you… ahhh!”, Leo laughed when they suddenly rolled off the couch and onto the floor making the two of them laugh in drunken amusement, “ Best Friends Forever!” as they continued to screw around with each other and dance around like idiots while singing the song like normal best friends do with Leonard periodically sucking on his inhaler to keep his airway open and prevent himself from having an asthma attack. This went on for a good while longer before the two of them were eventually found completely passed out on the living room floor with the music still playing by Sheldon, Dakota, and Amanda when they finally returned to the apartment at around 9 o’clock in the evening. Leo was lying down on her back in the middle of the living room with her head turned to the side, an arm bent up by her head that was facing the front door with the other one lying down at her side with her wedding ring on her finger pointing towards the couch as well as one leg bent sideways with her foot tucked underneath her other leg that was stretched out straight while Leonard was lying down straight beside her face down with his head going towards the kitchen and one of his arms bent up by his head while the other one was lying at his side with his wedding band pointing towards Leo’s hip. His asthma inhaler was up by his head as well just a few inches away from his hand too. The living room was still in a bit of disarray as well with the lightsaber props and the set of handcuffs just strewn across the floor a few feet away from the passed out physicists too leading to the other three beginning to wonder what these two had been doing with each other while the three of them were out doing God knows what together.
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Ah-ha hush that fuss
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKWDgF9OCR
Everybody move to the back of the bus
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmOahidpHA
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAcO4J4haN
We the type of people make the club get crunk, say
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVPlO4g3D7
Ah-ha huss that fuss
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPanpqHLkHm
Everybody move to the back of the bus
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq8S0EtJaX
Do you wanna bump and slump with us
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJWrjdUWDo
We the type of people make the club get crunk
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZqXw2hOVz
Meow!
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgO3WqEIqu
“ What the hell?! Well this wasn’t something I was expecting to see coming home from that Dr. Strange movie we just saw!”, Dakota said with wide eyes and a gaping open mouth as she looked around the apartment for a moment while standing next to Sheldon and Amanda near the front door with them staring around as well in complete shock at what they were seeing too just as Oreo came up to greet them by purring and rubbing up against their legs.
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“ Yeah you think Dakota?! Oh what fresh hell is this?! Why are Leo and Leonard currently passed out on the floor here at the moment with seemingly no explanation at all?! What on Earth do you think happened here?!”, Sheldon asked with a frown on his face as he pointed at his wife and his best friend who were still laying on the floor knocked out stone cold at that moment while the hip hop/rap music was still thumping off the walls throughout the whole apartment as well.
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“ Well if you ask me I’m not really sure Sheldon but if I had to guess I’d say that they got drunk while listening to, what is this… Rosa Parks by Outkast? Hmm, that’s weird. Why would they be listening to this out of all the songs in the world to listen to?”, Amanda said to her brother-in law as she took a quick look at her sister’s laptop to see what song her sister had playing on her playlist.
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“ Beats me Amanda even though I can kind of understand why, it’s got a pretty good beat to it and it’s catchy.”, Dakota said as she shrugged her shoulders and suddenly found herself nodding her head slightly to the beat of the music.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ5UiXO5pk
“ More like completely obnoxious Dakota if you ask me! This sounds more like a song made for a bunch of hippies! Good Lord what is wrong with this universe?! Do people seriously really get pleasure out of making my ears bleed with this kind of crap in the first place?! Geez Louise!”, Sheldon interjected with an irritated look on his face as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
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“ Dude you’re being ridiculous! There’s nothing wrong with the universe whatsoever, you’re just batsh*t crazy for even thinking that in the first place… but I still love you as a brother-in law anyway!”, Amanda said with a smirk as she started laughing in amusement at what she just said to her brother-in law.
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“ Ha! That’s a good one girl!”, Dakota laughed as she smacked hands with Amanda while being careful not to smack each other’s wedding rings off of their fingers.
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“ I know right?! You can thank my bi-polar/Hex Girls mentality for that one even though they have nothing to do with the situation at the moment! Oh man I think I may have just hit the sweet spot tonight if you know what I’m saying! This is great!”, Amanda laughed.
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“ Yeah it is! It’s skeet shootin’ fire if you ask me!”, Dakota laughed.
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“ Totally!”, Amanda laughed.
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“ Excuse me but no it’s not, this is chaos! Really, must you two?! Firstly, I’m not crazy my mother had me tested, secondly, will you two stop laughing at my expense because it’s just rude and insensitive and thirdly, will you stop talking about the Hex Girls already woman?! They’re a fictional female wiccan band from Scooby-Doo! How many times do we all have to tell you that in this family?!”, Sheldon shot back as he looked at both women before he pointed at Amanda.
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“ What?! We’re just screwing with you and fyi honestly Sheldon I’ve heard that so many times before that it doesn’t even matter anymore!”, Amanda laughed as she threw her head back.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7rzkiYlBI
“ Well it should because it’s ridiculous! Seriously, how the hell has Donny managed to put up with you all these years that you two have been married to each other?!”, Sheldon hissed as he shook his head and narrowed his eyes at her while he was clenching his fists at his sides with his wedding band sliding back and forth slightly on his finger as if he was getting ready to punch someone in the face.
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“ Dude that’s none of your business, it’s my marriage! I don’t ask you about your marriage to my sister Leo because that stuff’s private between you and her, same with Dakota! I don’t ask her about her marriage to Leonard for the very same reasons! We don’t need to know about each other’s marriages!”, Amanda laughed as she pointed between herself, Sheldon, and Dakota.
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“ Well, I suppose you have a point there with that notion Amanda. Marriages are private and should be respected as such.”, Sheldon said with a sigh as he began to give his sister-in law a more apologetic look.
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“ Exactly pal! What we do on our own time in our marriages is our own private bliss, nobody else’s! Respect it!”, Amanda laughed.
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“ And I’m going to woman, chill out!”, Sheldon shot back.
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“ Yeah well you know what we can just all discuss this more tomorrow with each other, it’s late and I’m tired as f*ck from all the popcorn and soda we had at the movie theater tonight so what do say that we get these two to bed and head to bed ourselves?”, Dakota said with an exhausted sigh as she then turned off the music and closed Leo’s laptop before she pointed at her husband and Leo who were still laying passed out on the floor next to each other after she also put all of the furniture back where it was supposed to be, throwing the lightsabers in the game closet too before she tossed the set of handcuffs back into Sheldon’s desk drawer.
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“ I think that’s the most appropriate Dakota. What do you think Amanda?”, Sheldon said as he nodded his head and looked at Amanda.
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“ Same here Sheldon. Ok come here Leo, upsie daisy. We’re going to bed now sis.”, Amanda said as she pulled her passed out little sister up to her feet making her groan slightly from being moved from the living room floor and down the hallway to the bedroom that Leo shared with Sheldon.
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“ Yep you too Leonard, get up honey. Let’s go.”, Dakota said as she did the same thing to Leonard with Sheldon’s help making him let out a slight groan from the sudden movement as well even when he fell onto his and Dakota’s bed in their room a few moments later just snoring his head off like a chainsaw. The three of them then said good night to each other before Amanda headed to Cayela’s room to crash in her 14 year old niece’s bed with Oreo following her since Cayela was at Florence’s house for a sleepover along with Athena going with her at that moment and wouldn’t be home until the next day. The next morning shortly after Sheldon, Amanda, and Dakota got up with Dakota making a pot of coffee in the kitchen while Sheldon and Amanda were sitting on the couch watching tv, Leo suddenly emerged from hers and Sheldon’s bedroom looking like she was in a zombie-like state as she immediately walked over to one of the stools sitting in front of the kitchen island and sat down on it moaning in discomfort as she began to massage her temples with her fingers to try to relieve her massive headache that she was feeling at that moment.
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“ Well good morning to you sunshine.”, Amanda said with a smirk as she looked at her sister across the room from sitting on the couch next to Sheldon a few feet away.
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“ Ha ha ha, very funny Amanda!”, Leo hissed in a sarcastic tone.
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“ Sarcasm?”, Sheldon asked as he looked at his wife.
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“ You think?! Oh god my head hurts! Why did I do this to myself in the first place?!”, Leo hissed at her husband with a sigh as she kept massaging her temples while sitting on the stool in front of the kitchen island.
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“ Well unfortunately you and Leonard are the only ones who would know that considering the fact that you two were the only ones home last night Leo, besides Oreo of course. Isn’t that right Oreo?”, Dakota said to her friend before she turned her attention to Oreo just making cooing noises and kissy faces at her as she was sitting on the counter just a few inches away after she jumped up there for attention.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcKdEQXFwc
Meow!
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“ See?! Oreo even agrees!”, Dakota said with a giddy laugh as she poured herself a cup of coffee.
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“ Yeah thanks for the tip Dakota.”, Leo said as she shook her head before she stood up to grab herself a glass of water just as Leonard was emerging from his and Dakota’s bedroom as well.
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“ Ugh!”, Leonard moaned as he rubbed his face for a moment before he put his glasses back on while leaning in the apartment doorway of the hallway.
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“ And then there were two. Good morning Leonard.”, Amanda said with a smile when she looked up to see Leonard standing there in the hallway.
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“ Good morning Amanda. Oh for god sakes my head hurts! It feels like someone hit me with a mallet.”, Leonard hissed as he walked into the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water as well.
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SSxAzrbc4
“ Same here pal, it feels like I got hit with one over and over again.”, Leo said as she took a sip of her water when she sat back down on the stool she was sitting on to begin with.
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“ Me too and oh hey Leo, I didn’t realize you were sitting there.”, Leonard said as he grabbed his glass of water and looked up to see Leo sitting across from him.
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“ That’s alright buddy, we’re both in a bit of a fog anyway due to the alcohol withdrawl so it’s not really anyone’s fault at the moment.”, Leo said as she sipped her water again before she tucked her hair behind her ear.
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“ If you say so.”, Leonard said as he took a sip of his water too while leaning against the kitchen island next to his wife Dakota.
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“ Yes well now that we have established this, you two now have a strike!”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at the two of them from across the room.
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“ Sheldon!”, Leo hissed as she stared at her husband and crossed her arms.
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“ Oh great here we go again, for god sakes this is ridiculous! A strike for what you crazy b***ard?!”, Leonard hissed as he rolled his eyes.
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“ Ok firstly, again I’m not crazy my mother had me tested and secondly, isn’t it obvious Leonard?! For commencing unapproved ridiculous pending nuptials last night in the first place!”, Sheldon said as he crossed his arms.
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“ Seriously?! You’re giving us each a strike just for acting like drunken obnoxious idiots while listening to an Outkast song last night?! You weren’t even home so why does it even matter in the first place?! It was just Leo and I hanging out together doing what any normal best friends would do on a daily basis with each other, HAVING FUN! How does that result in getting a strike?! Answer that before you make me smash your head open like The Incredible Hulk for this nonsense!”, Leonard hissed.
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“ I don’t have to explain myself to you other than the fact that it’s because I say so!”, Sheldon shot back.
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“ Whackadoodle!”, Leonard hissed.
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“ Yeah I agree with that honey! That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever… what the…?!”, Dakota butted in but was suddenly cut off when they all turned towards the front door to see Penny and Bernadette rushing in seemingly all out of breath after they shoved it open as if they had been running a marathon.
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Stomp stomp stomp bang!
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“ Hey, good morning you guys!”, Penny exclaimed as she was trying to catch her breath.
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“ Yeah, what she said! Oh god I feel like I’m going to pass out!”, Bernadette exclaimed as she was trying to do the same thing.
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“ Wait, what?! Penny, Bernadette, what are you two doing here at this time of morning?!”, Leo asked in complete shock.
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“ Because we have something very exciting to tell you Leo! Have you guys heard from Amy yet?!”, Penny asked as she was still trying to catch her breath.
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“ Uh, no… we’ve just been sitting here for the past few minutes talking to each other. Why do you ask?”, Leonard asked in confusion as he stared at Penny and Bernadette, wondering where this conversation was heading.
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“ Because Amy and Peter just got engaged last night!”, Bernadette exclaimed.
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“ Huh?! Amy and Peter got what?!”, Sheldon, Amanda, Dakota, Leo, and Leonard gasped in shock at what at just came out of their friend’s mouth.
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“ They got engaged! Can you believe it?!”, Penny exclaimed with a huge smile on her face.
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“ Um no! That’s awesome!”, Dakota exclaimed with dropped open smiling mouth.
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“ Hell yeah that is! How did that happen?!”, Amanda exclaimed.
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“ Amy said that Peter stopped by to visit her at her lab last night while she was working and at some point during their conversation he popped the question and she said yes! They’re getting married!”, Penny exclaimed as she jumped and down squealing like a gossiping teenage girl.
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“ That is amazing! Those two are going to have a great life together!”, Leonard said with a smile.
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“ Totally agree with that one! I guess we’ll have to start calling her Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler-Thomas eventually after she gets married then!”, Leo said with a smile.
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“ Well duh, of course that would be obvious Leo because Peter’s last name is Thomas!”, Penny laughed.
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“ True and it’s also my husband’s middle name.”, Amanda said as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.
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“ Yes we’re certainly very aware of that Amanda.”, Sheldon said as he looked over his shoulder at his sister-in law.
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“ Shut it!”, Amanda hissed back at him.
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“ Ook, well that was… never mind. Anyway, do you guys want to see a picture of Amy’s engagement ring that she sent to us?”, Penny asked as she shook her head and took her phone out.
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“ Sure, we’d love to Penny! Let’s see it!”, Leo exclaimed as she and the other 4 all gathered around Penny and Bernadette to see the picture of Amy’s engagement ring.
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“ Ok well here it is! Look at that, isn’t that pretty?!”, Penny exclaimed as she showed her friends the picture on her phone.
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“ Oooh!”, Leo, Dakota, and Amanda exclaimed as their eyes went wide.
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“ That’s nice! It’s got a heart shaped gem on it!”, Leonard exclaimed.
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“ Yeah it does, it’s a 2 and a quarter carat heart shaped diamond ring.”, Bernadette said with a smile.
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“ Shut up, that thing is 2 and a quarter carats?! That must have been expensive! How in the hell was Peter able to afford something like that?!”, Leo exclaimed in shock as she pointed at the picture.
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“ Well duh girl, it’s obvious! He’s the narrator of Forensic Files! He makes a crap ton of money from all the episodes of the show that he narrates so it’s really no surprise that he was able to afford a diamond ring of that many carats for Amy!”, Dakota exclaimed as she looked at her friend.
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“ I would agree with that.”, Sheldon said as he nodded his head.
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“ Same here.”, Leonard said as he put his hand up for a moment before he pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose.
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“ Hi everyone, we’re back from Florence’s house!”, Athena exclaimed with a smile on her face when she suddenly walked in the door with Cayela after they stepped out of the elevator in the hallway carrying their things that they brought with them for the sleepover at Florence’s in the first place.
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“ Yeah what she said! Hi!”, Cayela exclaimed as she waved her hand.
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“ Oh hi girls, did you have fun last night?”, Leo asked when she looked in their direction giving them a smile.
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“ We sure did Mom! Even when Athena decided to mess with Trevor by fooling him into thinking that his room was either haunted or that the Earth was being invaded by aliens!”, Cayela smirked as she started laughing causing Athena to start laughing as well.
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“ What?!”, Amanda, Leo, Sheldon, and Dakota exclaimed as they stared at both girls.
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“ How the hell did you do that sweetheart?”, Leonard asked his daughter Athena.
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“ It really wasn’t that hard Dad! I just rigged a small wireless remote to the electric circuits of his bedroom light so I could just turn it on and off from Florence’s bedroom! Trevor was so freaked out by it, so much so that he actually screamed, “ What the freak?! Why are my lights turning on and off all of a sudden when I’m not even touching the lightswitch?! This is insane! Mom, Dad, help me! My room is being haunted by ghosts and invaded by aliens!” which was the funniest thing ever! Me as well as Cayela and Florence basically had to bite our tongues the whole time to keep ourselves from laughing over the pure idiocy he was displaying in the first place! We seriously couldn’t get enough of it, it was really funny! In fact, I still have the remote I made right here!”, Athena laughed as she threw her head back and showed off the remote she made after she took it out of her bag.
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“ That’s impressive Athena! Looks like you took a page out of your Uncle Howard’s book to make that!”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ Yeah you bet I did Mom and it was awesome!”, Athena said as she slipped the remote into her pocket.
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“ Well did you tell Trevor that it was just a prank?”, Sheldon asked as he looked at his goddaughter.
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“ Are you kidding me Uncle Sheldon?! Heck no I didn’t! If I did it wouldn’t be funny anymore!”, Athena laughed as she shook her head.
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“ Well, I suppose you’re right with that one.”, Sheldon said with a sigh.
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“ Exactly!”, Athena laughed.
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*Tri-tone sound effect goes off*
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“ Did you just get a text message Athena?”, Cayela asked as she looked at her cousin.
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“ Yeah I did Cayela. Hmm, that’s weird. It just says Hi Athena and it’s from a number I don’t recognize.”, Athena said as she looked at her cell phone.
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“ Well answer it, find out who it is.”, Cayela said.
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“ I’m going to, chill out!”, Athena shot back as she began to type before she hit send:
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Uh hi… Who is this and how did you get my number?
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The response that came back said:
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This is Kyle Mason, Kirby Rossfire’s friend. He gave me your number shortly after we hung out together last night with Skeeter to cheer me up from my girlfriend Esme Swanson cheating on me with another guy recently and he thought that maybe we would hit it off with each other.
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Athena thought for a moment as she read the message before she responded back with:
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Really? 😊
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Ding!
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Yeah, he told me some really nice things about you which kind of peaks my interest a bit so I guess what I’m asking is, do you want to hang out with me tonight? There’s a basketball game going on at Northridge Middle School tonight at 7:30 and I’m interested in going to watch it so do you want to come with me to watch the game together and just get to know each other a bit more? No pressure though, I’m just wondering if you want to go or not.
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“ Well, who’s texting you Athena?”, Cayela asked in curiosity.
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“ Kirby’s friend Kyle. He’s asking me if I want to go to a Northridge Middle School basketball game tonight at 7:30 with him. Do you think Kirby might be trying to set me up with his friend?”, Athena said as she continued fingering with her phone.
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“ I don’t know maybe, I guess you’ll have to find out.”, Cayela said as she shrugged her shoulders.
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“ Mom, Dad, can I go to a basketball game tonight with Kirby’s friend Kyle?”, Athena asked as she put her phone away.
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“ Well, I don’t have a problem with that. What about you Leonard?”, Dakota said before she looked at her husband.
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“ Oh for god sakes, um, ok yes but can you please make sure to keep your phone on so that we can get a hold of you if we need to Athena? We don’t want to be sitting here worrying about you the whole time.”, Leonard said with a sigh as he massaged his forehead for a second before he took another sip of his glass of water.
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“ Don’t worry I will! Thank you, you’re the best!”, Athena exclaimed as she took her phone out again for a moment to text Kyle back to tell him that she was available to go to the game to which he said was great and that him and his mother would come pick her up at around 6:45 in the evening. However shortly after Athena leaves with Kyle and his mother to head to the game later that evening and Cayela left to go hang out with Robbie and Julia, Leonard found himself sitting at his desk in the apartment working on it and periodically checking in with Athena while Leo, Dakota, Amanda, and Sheldon were watching a movie together shortly after Penny and Bernadette had left earlier in the day when all of a sudden Leonard suddenly got a strange email about a package being delivered to his and Howard’s lab at the university and that his urgency to pick it up ASAP was the upmost importance.
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“ Uh… I’ll be right back you guys. I just got an email saying that something just got delivered to the lab and that I need to pick it up ASAP.”, Leonard said in a confused voice as he shut his laptop and stood up from his desk, grabbing his keys and wallet out of the bowl next to the door before he reached for the door knob to open it.
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“ Really? A delivery at this time of night honey?”, Dakota asked in shock as she stared at her husband.
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“ Yeah apparently so Dakota, I got to go pick it up to see what it is. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”, Leonard said as he looked at his wife before he turned back to the door to walk out of it.
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“ Well alright, see you in a few minutes then. Love you.”, Dakota said as she kissed him when she stood up from the couch.
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“ Love you too.”, Leonard said as he kissed her back before he started heading back towards the open door.
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“ Later buddy. Safe travels.”, Leo and Amanda said with a smile as both women gave him a brief wave with their hands from the couch.
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“ Thanks, see you in a few.”, Leonard said as he kept walking.
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“ Now hold on, wait a minute Leonard. Don’t walk out that door.”, Sheldon said in concern as he stood up from the couch just as Dakota sat back down on it. The clothes he was wearing that day consisted of his blue Superman shirt and khakis underneath his tan colored windbreaker along with his shoes and wristwatch as usual too.
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“ What is it Sheldon?”, Leonard said with a sigh as he stopped walking and turned around to face him. He was wearing a red t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans underneath his gray and black zip up hoodie as well as his black and white converses and his glasses as usual. He was also wearing a wristwatch too.
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“ I don’t like the sound of this. My spidey sense is telling me that this all seems a bit too suspicious like this might be a set-up concocted by those two stupid Neanderthals that attacked us and tried to kill us in the television studio van a while ago.”, Sheldon said as he scrunched up his face in suspicion, making a Spiderman reference for good measure.
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“ Seriously? Are you talking about Ivas Stormbender and Twister Screech?”, Leonard asked with narrowed eyes as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
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“ Yes! Who did you think I was talking about my good man?!”, Sheldon hissed in concern as he nodded his head.
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“ Buddy those two idiots are back in jail! You’re just being paranoid, they’re not… there’s nothing shady going on here! It’s just a delivery, maybe of something I forgot that I ordered! Who knows?! I’ll be back in a few minutes!”, Leonard hissed as he rolled his eyes and tried to walk out the door.
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“ Yes but think about it for a second! If that really was the case then why would it get delivered to your lab instead of here?! I’m telling you something seems really suspicious about this and that you should stay here instead of falling for whatever ridiculous scheme this is that these two idiots are trying to pull to begin with! The last thing any of us want right now is you getting hurt!”, Sheldon interjected in concern as he pleaded with Leonard to not leave the apartment out of fear that something shady was about to happen.
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“ Sheldon it’s fine, nothing is going to happen from me going to pick up a piece of mail! I got to go, I’ll be back in a few minutes after I find out what it is! For God’s sake you’re being ridiculous!”, Leonard hissed as he stormed out the door and down the stairs after he slammed the door shut behind him in Sheldon’s face making him stand there staring at it and wondering what in the hell that was about all of a sudden.
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“ No wait, Leonard! Aww, why does that man never listen to me everytime I tell him not to do something in the first place?! I swear if he keeps doing things like this he’s going to get killed one of these days! I guarantee it!”, Sheldon shouted at the door before he rolled his eyes and pointed at the door as he was looking back at his wife Leo, their friend Dakota, and his sister-in law Amanda who were still sitting on the couch in front of the tv while Oreo was rolling around on the floor batting around a toy mouse with her paws, just meowing and purring up a storm in complete content.
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“ Sheldon you’re just being paranoid like Leonard said, there’s nothing to worry about even though we are a little concerned too! Let’s just not even think about it and move on to something else ok!”, Amanda hissed as she shot a dagger like look at him.
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“ Alright fine, whatever you say Amanda but I still have a bad feeling about this!”, Sheldon hissed as he reluctantly sat back down on the couch.
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“ Sheldon!”, Leo hissed in his face as a final attempt for her to get him to shut up and move onto a different subject while they continued to watch the movie together. Meanwhile as Leonard was driving to Caltech to go pick up the package that had been strangely dropped off at the lab he was listening and singing along to his cd player playing the song Detective by No Doubt on his various artists cd that was still loaded in the player from when he first inserted it when he drove out to Oxnard with Cayela and Florence were in the car with him after he didn’t want to leave them alone in the apartment in the first place.
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“ Peek in, sneak about! I’m gonna snoop and call you out! I caught you, your hands are red! Now I’m your broken-hearted detective! Man this is some great shit, I love this various artists cd! Ain’t nothing shady about this, screw you Sheldon Cooper! You’re a nutcase!”, Leonard sang before he interjected that last part that he said with an amused laugh as he continued driving down the highway nodding his head slightly to the music playing through the car speakers. But little did he know that when he pulled up in the parking lot of Caltech moments later he was secretly being watched through two sets of high powered binoculars by two individuals hiding in some nearby bushes as they watched his every move from getting out of the car to walking into the building after he parked his car in the parking space he was assigned to.
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“ Perfecto, ese imbécil acaba de entrar al edificio! ¿Deberíamos atraparlo ya?! ( Perfect, that dumb asshole just walked into the building! Should we get him yet?!)”, an unidentified Hispanic man said to his accomplice as he continued to stare at the entrance of the university through the binoculars he was holding from the bushes they were hiding in a few feet away.
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“ Aún no mi amigo! Ivas nos dijo dejar que este tipo reciba el paquete primero! ¿Recordar? Todo esto era parte de su plan de escape y el de Twister! Usa tu cabeza de conejo! ( Not yet my friend! Ivas told us to let this guy pick up the package first! Remember? This was all part of his and Twister’s escape plan! Use your head jack rabbit!)”, the other unidentified Hispanic man hissed at his friend as he put his binoculars down for a second to look at him before he went back to spying on the university entrance door.
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“ No estás ayudando a paca la! ( You’re not helping paca la!)”, the first man hissed.
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“ No me importa, cállate y sigue mirando! Lo estamos mirando ... hey mira ahí está! él acaba de recoger el paquete! ir a buscarlo! ( I don’t care, shut up and keep watching! We’re watching for… hey look there he is! He just picked up the package! Go, get him!)”, the second man hissed backed when he saw Leonard come back out to his car moments later with the package they just planted in hand and got in to drive away heading back to the highway to drive home.
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“ ¿espera? ( Wait, now?!)”, the first man hissed as he dropped his binoculars to stare at his friend.
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“ Sí, idiota, esa es nuestra señal! Ve, ve, muévelo antes de que se escape! ( Yes you idiot, that’s our cue! Go go go, move it before he gets away!)”, the second man shouted as he dropped his binoculars too before he took off like a rocket after Leonard’s car, withdrawing his pistol from the clip of his belt prompting his friend to do the same thing as they ran through traffic on the highway to catch up to the experimental physicist who was completely unaware that he was being set-up by Ivas and Twister as their attempt to escape from jail again by distracting the police with another crime that they hoped wouldn’t be discovered as a connection to it.
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*sound of running footsteps approaching outside the car followed by two rear car doors suddenly being ripped open*
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“ Consíguelo, idiota! ( Get him you jack a**!)”, the second man shouted when they suddenly jumped into the back seat of Leonard’s car while it was moving along the highway.
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“ Con mucho gusto te sorprende punk! Estas muerto! ( With pleasure, surprise you punk! You’re dead!)”, the first man shouted with a sly smirk as he reached up to grab Leonard around the throat from behind him.
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“ For god sakes, what is this?! What the fuck are you… ahhh!”, Leonard screamed as he was suddenly being choked by the first guy while the other one was trying wrestle around with him to get control of the vehicle.
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“ Cállate, muévete geekface! Me haré cargo de este auto! ( Shut up, move over geekface! I’m taking over this car!)”, the second man shouted as he was aggressively trying to grab a hold of the wheel while at the same time punching and kicking Leonard to get him out of the car.
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“ Oh no you’re not d*ckhead! Get your paws off me and my car before I make you and your friend sleep with the fishes over this crap! You’re messing with the wrong scientist here pal! Get off of me!”, Leonard shouted as he was struggling against their grip on him while trying to fight back to prevent his car from being hijacked by these two lunatics who were attacking him in the first place.
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“ No hay posibilidad, sal y vete al infierno, monstruo! ( Not a chance, get out and go to hell you freak!)”, the second man shouted as he then punched Leonard in the face, breaking his nose before he took his pistol and shot a bullet at him which hit him in the hip causing him to scream in agonizing pain as he was then shoved out of the car onto the roadway landing on his face which broke his glasses before the two Hispanic dudes took off in the car at about 100 miles per hour leaving Leonard lying there in the middle of the road bleeding profusely from his nose and hip as several cars were speeding past him.
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“ Ow! Son of a bi*ch this hurts! For god sakes, someone help me! I’m bleeding!”, Leonard screamed in pain as he laid there in the middle of the road trying to get a sense of what just happened to him.
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“ Oh my god, Leonard Hofstadter!”, Sylvia shrieked in horror as she suddenly came running over to him from a hotel parking lot that was right next to the road where her and Jasper were staying at after they had drove out there from Savannah for a surprise visit with Leo and the others.
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“ What the…?! Sylvia is that you?!”, Leonard shrieked when he looked up to see his friend’s aunt and the worried expression on her face as she stood over him to help him up.
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“ Yes it’s me! Who the hell do you think it is?! What in the world happened to you?!”, Sylvia shrieked in concern as she looked at him in the face after she helped him stand up.
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“ I think I got set-up by Ivas and Twister is what happened! These two Hispanic dudes jumped me out of nowhere and stole my car as I was on my way home from Caltech after picking something up from my lab! They choked me, broke my nose, broke my glasses, and… I think I got shot in my hip too! Oh god this hurts so bad! I think I need help!”, Leonard shrieked as he was gritting his teeth and squinting his eyes shut in pain while pressing his hand against his broken nose and pressing his other one against his hip to stop them from bleeding. His breathing was starting to become a bit shallow too due to the injuries he recieved from the two dudes who had attacked him to begin with before they took off in his car doing God knows what with it.
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“ Yeah no sh*t you do! Come with me to my limo now, I’m calling Jasper!”, Sylvia shrieked in concern as she picked up Leonard’s broken glasses and shoved them in her pocket before she quickly began walking him to her limo while dialing her phone to call her butler who was sitting inside their hotel room watching tv.
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Ring ring ring!
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“ Hello?”, Jasper said when he answered his phone after the first few rings.
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“ Jasper McCleven get the hell down here to this parking lot now! We have a serious emergency here! Son of a f*cking bi*ch!”, Sylvia screamed into her phone as she was standing next to the limo while trying to keep Leonard from falling over.
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“ What? A serious emergency? What are you talking about mistress Sylvia? I thought you told me that you were just getting something out of the limo.”, Jasper asked in confusion as he listened to Sylvia’s distressed voice on the other end.
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“ I was until I ran into Leonard! He was just attacked by two Hispanic men and had his car stolen on his way home from picking something up at Caltech! He’s got a broken nose, broken glasses, and a gunshot wound to his hip! Apparently he was just set-up by Ivas Stormbender and Twister Screech, the two idiots in jail! Get down here now, we need to go to the hospital before this man ends up bleeding out to death and we end up losing another family member here to another unexpected tragedy like how we all lost Julianne Crenshamezki a few weeks ago!”, Sylvia screamed.
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“ Oh shit, not again! This isn’t good! Don’t panic, I’m on my way down there now!”, Jasper hissed as he quickly shut the tv off and grabbed the hotel room key as well as his wallet before he ran out of the room and down the stairs like a bat out of hell to reach the parking lot where Sylvia’s white limo was parked to find her standing next to it gripping Leonard by the arm to keep him from hitting the concrete.
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“ I’m here mistress Sylvia!”, Jasper interjected as he ran over to the limo.
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“ Great! Get in the limo and step on it! We need to get to the nearest hospital now before we end up losing a life here!”, Sylvia screamed as she quickly tossed the keys to the limo to Jasper before she got Leonard secured in the back seat and quickly got in the passenger seat up in the front, strapping herself in with the seat belt.
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“ Of course! Hang in there sir, we’re getting you help now!”, Jasper interjected as he quickly got in the driver’s seat, started the engine, and sped out of the hotel parking lot to get to the nearest hospital they could find to save Leonard’s life. The song Driven to Tears by The Police began to play in the background during this as well.
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“ Like I have a choice here McCleven! Ow!”, Leonard hissed from the back seat of the limo as he began to start getting the urge to cough up blood from his injuries that had been inflicted on him.
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“ Stop talking Leonard before you end up coughing up blood in here! We’re going as fast as we can to get you help! Just hang in there pal, we’ll be there in no time!”, Sylvia screamed over her shoulder at Leonard to keep him alert as Jasper was driving like a madman through the streets of Pasadena to get them to the hospital.
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“ Ok… for ( cough cough) god sakes! I’m gonna…! ( cough cough cough)”, Leonard hissed just as he began to start coughing up a little bit of blood no sooner after Sylvia had said that and he began to start gasping for air too as he sat there in the back seat of the limo while trying to stop his wounds from bleeding any further.
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“ Oh geez Louise, this is not good! Jasper floor it, we’re losing him!”, Sylvia shouted at her butler who was driving her limo.
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“ I’m going as fast as I legally can mistress Sylvia! What are you trying to make me do?! Crash your limo and get all 3 of us killed here?! Are you out of your mind?! You paid nearly a million dollars for this in addition to hiring me to keep your mansion looking nice!”, Jasper shouted at her as he was weaving in and out of traffic at somewhat of a high speed.
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“ Oh for cripes sake I don’t care about the stupid limo at the moment! I care about Leonard and you should too! His life is way more important than my vehicle right now! So I don’t care what the hell you have to do but get us to the hospital now! We are not letting him die, period!”, Sylvia shouted back at him as she frantically pulled out her phone again to call Leo with her face almost looking as white as a ghost over the terrifying situation that was unfolding right in front of their very eyes at that moment.
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“ Come on Leo Alejandra answer your damn phone now! I’m flipping out here!”, Sylvia hissed as she pressed her phone to her ear listening to the dial tone while trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to come down her face over what was happening in the first place as Jasper continued racing them up to the hospital while at the same time trying avoid crashing the limo as much as possible so that they wouldn’t end up dead before even having a chance to get Leonard medical life-saving attention due to his broken nose and the gunshot wound to his hip.
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Uh oh, that’s not good! It appears Leonard fell victim to a set-up orchestrated by Ivas Stormbender and Twister Screech! What do you think will happen next to those two morons as well as Leonard?! Let me know in the comments. To be continued…
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