Chapter 42
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The next day at school when Cayela and Florence walked into the building they were suddenly attacked by their friends’ embraces.
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“ What the beeswax Cayela and Florence?! Where have you guys been?!”, Charlotte interjected.
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“ Yeah we haven’t seen you guys here at school for a week!”, Summer exclaimed.
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“ Yo did you guys get sick or something?!”, Julia exclaimed.
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“ Or did you guys go on a vacation that we don’t know about?!”, Robbie exclaimed.
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“ Yeah so start spilling your information! What happened to you guys?!”, Arista exclaimed.
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“ Honestly you guys you’re going to think this is kind of nuts but, Florence and I got kidnapped by North Koreans!”, Cayela said.
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“ WHAT?!”, Charlotte, Summer, Julia, Robbie and Arista exclaimed as they stared at them.
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“ Are you messing with us right now?!”, Charlotte exclaimed.
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“ No Char we’re actually dead serious!”, Florence said in a serious tone.
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“ Yeah we literally got kidnapped out of my dad’s office at Caltech the day that we had that power outage here at school!”, Cayela said in a serious tone.
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“ Oh my god! Who took you guys?!”, Summer exclaimed.
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“ My Uncle Leonard’s ex-girlfriend Joyce Kim. She was actually a North Korean spy that was just using him to gain information and if I remember correctly I think that also ties in with the rocket fuel incident.”, Cayela said.
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“ Can you give us details of what happened?”, Robbie asked.
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“ Gladly! So we were just hanging out in Dr. Cooper’s office while he was working, listening to music and doing stuff that we normally do but at some point Dr. Cooper said that he was stepping out of his office for a moment, now I can’t remember what he said that he was going to do but…”, Florence started to say but Cayela cut her off by saying, “ I don’t think my dad said that he was going to do anything he just said that he was stepping out of his office for a moment.”
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“ Ok well anyway, Dr. Cooper said he going to be right back and told us not to go anywhere which we said we wouldn’t and so he steps out but not even two seconds after he shuts the door and starts walking away is when this North Korean woman comes out of the air duct, grabs us and pulls us with her back up through the air duct!”, Florence exclaimed as she continued telling them what had happened to her and Cayela.
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“ That’s awful you guys! Joyce Kim sounds like she’s a real psycho!”, Arista exclaimed.
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“ Oh she’s sweet but psycho, a little bit psycho! At night she’s screaming, “ I’m ma-ma-ma out my mind!”, Summer exclaimed in a sing song voice as she did a little dance but accidentally backed up into a locker causing her to shriek, “ Ow!”.
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“ Smooth moves Langenstein!”, Cayela laughed as the other girls started to bust out laughing too. They laughed all the way to their first period. Then after school later that day Cayela asked her parents if she could invite Kirby over to hang out and they said yes. Kirby showed up a few minutes later and headed to his girlfriend’s room.
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“ Hey Cayela.”, Kirby said with a smile when he walked into the room and shut the door behind him.
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“ Hey Kirby. Did your parents just drop you off?”, Cayela asked with a smile.
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“ Yeah my dad did. My mom’s working right now so she won’t be back until way later tonight.”, Kirby said.
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“ Oh well that’s real interesting.”, Cayela said as she kissed him. Their kiss was suddenly interrupted however when Kirby’s phone started ringing.
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“ Uh Kirby, your phone’s ringing.”, Cayela said.
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“ Oh, It’s my friend Skeeter. Hold on one second.”, Kirby said when he looked at the caller ID on his phone before answering, “ Yo, dude, what do you want Skeeter?! I’m hanging out with my girlfriend right now!”
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“ What are you talking about Kirby?! I thought you said that you, Kyle and I were going to hanging out tonight at my house and then maybe spend the night since it’s the weekend?! You know, just the three of us?! The three amigos?!”, Skeeter asked.
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“ I was planning on it but then my girlfriend Cayela called and said that she wanted to hang out with me so I just forgot. I’m sorry.”, Kirby apologetically said to his friend as he sat down on Cayela’s bed.
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“ You know this the 10th time you said that to me since you started dating this girl! It’s really kind of getting annoying! You always say that you’re going to be there for us but yet you choose to go off with this girl instead! We’re your best friends, you can’t just ditch us Kirby for a girl that we haven’t even met yet and that you haven’t introduced to us!”, Skeeter interjected.
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“ Ok I can totally see where this is going! You’re just jealous that I have a girlfriend and you don’t!”, Kirby spat back.
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“ Yes because no girl will ever talk to me due to my stupid name!”, Skeeter interjected.
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“ Skeets your name’s not stupid!”, Kirby interjected.
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“ Yes it is! You and Kyle always get the girls and it’s not fair! Every time I try to talk to a girl and tell her my name she just laughs at me and walks away without giving me a second glance! I just need to face the facts that no girl is ever going to want a boyfriend named Skeeter!”, Skeeter interjected.
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“ Bro you need to chill out man! You just need to find the right girl that thinks your name’s cute!”, Kirby interjected.
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“ Yeah well I doubt that a girl like that exists Kirby!”, Skeeter interjected.
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“ Look, what if I set you up on a date with one of mine and Cayela’s friends?! Then will you stop bothering me with all this ‘ woe is me’ crap?!”, Kirby interjected.
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“ Ok yes I’ll stop! But she better be cute bro or you and I are going to have a problem!”, Skeeter interjected.
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“ Alright hold on one second!”, Kirby interjected before he took his phone away from his ear and put his hand over the speaker.
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“ Ok is one of our friends currently looking for anyone right now?”, Kirby asked Cayela.
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“ Um I think Charlotte is because she did mention it at school today. She hasn’t found anyone yet.”, Cayela said.
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“ Ok.”, Kirby said. Then he put his phone back to his ear and said, “ Skeeter I think I found someone for you. Just give me a moment to call her and I’ll let it go from there.”
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“ Alright. But don’t back out on me this time! I’m going to hang up now! Bye!”, Skeeter said.
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“ Alright, bye.”, Kirby said as he hung up. He then dialed Charlotte’s number and she answered after the first few rings.
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“ Hey Kirby what’s up?”, Charlotte asked.
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“ The sky is up! What do you think what’s up Charlotte?!”, Kirby jokingly asked as he laughed.
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“ I don’t know! Normal conversation!”, Charlotte laughed.
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“ Well nothing really. Hey, Cayela told me that you’re maybe interested in going out on a date with someone. Is that right?”, Kirby asked.
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“ Yeah I am. I haven’t found anyone yet though. I’ve been looking all day.”, Charlotte said.
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“ Well what would you say if I set you up with one of my friends? His name’s Skeeter and he’s been having trouble attracting girls lately, not because of his looks but he thinks that they think his name’s stupid and that’s why they don’t want to go out with him.”, Kirby said.
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“ Hmm, that depends. What does he look like?”, Charlotte asked.
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“ I’ll send you a picture. One second.”, Kirby said as he went into his photos and found a picture of Skeeter before sending to Charlotte in a text message. Charlotte looked at it for a moment and said, “ He looks like a pretty good decent-looking guy. Alright I’ll give him a shot. What’s his number?”
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“ Hold on one second.”, Kirby said as he sent his friend’s number to Charlotte.
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“ Alright thanks Kirby. I’ll message him and see where that goes.”, Charlotte said when she received Skeeter’s phone number in a message from Kirby.
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“ Ok, thanks Charlotte. Bye.”, Kirby said.
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“ Bye.”, Charlotte said before she hung up. She then messaged Skeeter and introduced herself to him. The two of them texted back and forth with each other for a few minutes before they eventually agree to go on a date with each other the next night. Meanwhile back at 4A in Cayela’s room, Cayela and Kirby were listening to Cayela’s ipod and dancing around the room like idiots to Toosie Slide by Drake. As the thumping obnoxious beat filled the air in the apartment Sheldon immediately came storming into his daughter’s bedroom and scolded, “ Cayela Rachelle Fordyce-Cooper! You need to switch that to the radio version this instant! Your mother, your Auntie Dakota, your Uncle Leonard and I do not want to hear those explicit words coming out of your ipod! That is absolutely not acceptable and highly inappropriate for your age!”
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“ Dad calm down! We’re not even singing the song we’re just dancing to it!”, Cayela interjected as she indirectly looked in her father’s direction.
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“ I know that but we still don’t want to hear those words right now! Switch that to the radio version or I will confiscate your ipod and won’t get it back for at least a few weeks or until I say you can have it back! Do I make myself clear?!”, Sheldon scolded as he stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed at his daughter and her boyfriend. His red Flash shirt was clearly visible underneath his tan colored windbreaker. He was wearing khakis too as well as his wristwatch.
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“ Yes Dad.”, Cayela said.
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“ Thank you.”, Sheldon said.
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“ So, we can still listen to the song Dr. Cooper?”, Kirby asked in a nervous tone as he looked at his girlfriend’s father.
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“ Yes you and Cayela can still listen to the song Kirby but just listen to the radio version instead so we don’t have to hear the S word or that racial slur or whatever those obnoxious words are in that Drake song.”, Sheldon said as he shook his head.
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“ Ok.”, Kirby said.
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“ Dad could you please get out now?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Yes I’ll get out but please switch versions of the song or you’re going to be in big trouble.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Alright we get it Dad.”, Cayela said.
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“ Good. Don’t make me come back in here.”, Sheldon said as he walked out and shut the door behind him. True to Cayela’s word she switched the song from Album to Radio but shortly after that something crazy happened. Penny suddenly came storming over from her apartment across the hall with her mom, dad, and criminal brother and hissed, “ My God, what the hell is that noise over here?! I’m trying to have a conversation with my parents and my brother and this boom boom boom noise I’m hearing through my walls is driving me nuts! It sounds like a freaking machine gun going off repeatedly! Seriously, are your IQs that off today?!”
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“ Penny, first of all, how many countless times have my wife and I addressed to you that we do not appreciate the swearing every time you come over here and secondly if you must know and it seems you must, that is just Cayela and her boyfriend Kirby! They’re listening to an obnoxious rap song in her room!”, Sheldon spat back at her with his arms crossed.
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“ Well can you please go in there and tell her to turn it down a few notches Dr. Whack-a-doodle?! It’s really annoying!”, Penny hissed at her neurotic robotic friend.
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“ Excuse me but why don’t you go in there and tell her yourself if you’re so upset about it!”, Sheldon spat back.
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“ You’re Cayela’s dad, YOU do it you crazy weirdo! I’m not going in there because if I do I’ll just end up acting like a total crazy bitch in front of her and her boyfriend!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Well what do you expect Penny?! She’s autistic 14 year old girl in middle school!”, Sheldon argued.
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“ Look I love her just as much as I love you and the rest of our friends but sometimes she can be just as annoying as you! She’s like a little female version of you, well except the only difference is she wears diapers, but, other than that she is almost exactly like you and Leo!”, Penny hissed.
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“ Of course she’s exactly like Leo and I because she’s our daughter! We created her and brought her into this world!”, Sheldon said.
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“ Ok if I can say something here, who’s Leo?”, Wyatt, Penny’s dad asked.
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“ I’m Leo. Sheldon’s wife.”, Leo said as she butted in.
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“ Oh you two are married?”, Penny’s mom asked as she looked at Sheldon and Leo.
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“ Yes.”, Sheldon and Leo said as they nodded their heads. Leo slipped her hand into Sheldon’s squeezing it slightly. Her wedding band glistened under the apartment lighting.
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“ Oh that’s nice. Does Leonard still live here too?”, Wyatt asked.
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“ Yes he does along with his wife.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Oh he’s married now too?”, Wyatt asked.
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“ Hi Wyatt. Yeah this is my wife Dakota.”, Leonard said as he butted in with Dakota standing next to him.
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“ Hi it’s nice to meet you.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ It’s nice to meet you too.”, Wyatt said. The adults continued talking to one another until their conversation was suddenly interrupted when Cayela’s voice interjected from her bedroom, “ Kirby what are you doing?! You’re not supposed to be up there!”
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“ Oh great, it sounds like Kirby is up on the rafters in Cayela’s room.”, Leo said as she shook her head.
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“ Oh balls!”, Penny exclaimed as she smacked her palm against her face.
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“ I’ll handle this. Excuse me a moment.”, Sheldon said as he walked over to the edge of the hallway and shouted, “ Kirby Rossfire get down off the rafters this instant before you hurt yourself! Do not make me come in there like some commanding officer!”
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“ Ok, sorry Dr. Cooper!”, Kirby shouted back before he dropped down on his back on Cayela’s bed. The moment his back hit the mattress he let out an “Ow!”
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“ Kirby are you alright?!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Yeah I’m fine I just accidentally kneed myself in the eye! No biggie!”, Kirby shouted back as he got up.
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“ Alright well just be careful! My wife and I don’t want to get screamed at by your parents!”, Sheldon interjected before he walked back to the others. Cayela and Kirby continued to hang out and listen to music until Kirby’s parents came to pick him up later that night. Then the next night Charlotte went on her date with Skeeter and ended up having a great time with him. The two of them went on countless other dates as the weeks dragged on before they officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. Charlotte went on and on about how much she liked Skeeter to her friends and thanked Kirby for bringing the two of them together. Skeeter also thanked him too and even stopped bothering him about how jealous he was that he couldn’t get a girlfriend. But just as things were beginning to look up another unexpected twist of events happened. Leo and Dakota were at home with Cayela while Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj were at a local Chinese restuarant after they had just gotten off work that day. After eating their food and paying the check they started walking back to the apartment. As they were walking they were talking about whole bunch of geeky science stuff that they normally talk about at work and pretty much every day of their life until Sheldon said something annoying as usual causing Leonard to spin around on his heel to face him as they were getting ready to walk across the street and shout, “ For God sakes Sheldon, why must every other comment that comes out of your mouth be something so annoying?! You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met!”
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“ Oh I’m annoying?! You criticize everything I do all the time Leonard! I think that certainly counts for you being annoying!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ You’re both annoying, just stop it!”, Howard interjected at his two friends.
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“ You’re not helping Wolowitz!”, Leonard hissed.
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“ Would you a**hats shut up and keep walking?! It’s about to be a no walking zone here in a moment!”, Raj hissed as he kept walking.
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“ That’s not helping Raj!”, Sheldon interjected but no sooner after those words left his mouth and he took another step is when a red Toyota suddenly blew through the intersection after the light had turned red and collided with his body. Sheldon screamed as he went down on the pavement and laid there as the car then slammed into a utility pole and came to a dead stop. Everybody that was around gathered around the scene in a panic.
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“ OH MY GOD!”, Howard screamed as he put hands on his head. Raj was shaking from the total shock of what just happened while Leonard screamed, “ FOR GOD SAKES SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! SHELDON!” Screams and sirens were suddenly heard after someone had called for a couple ambulances and people suddenly crowded the street when EMTs arrived to do their jobs. A few of them tended to the people in the car while a few others were tending to Sheldon. One male EMT was checking Sheldon’s vital signs but because of the impact that the car made to his body they were so low that they couldn’t be detected. He then lowered his head and sympathetically said, “ I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but, I’m not detecting any vital signs from your friend.”
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“ So what are you saying?! Is he… dead?!”, Leonard choked out as his eyes started getting teary eyed.
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“ Unfortunately…”, the EMT started to say but was interrupted when Howard suddenly shouted out, “ SON OF A BITCH!” Howard and Raj then just clung to each other crying and it was at this moment that Leonard started to cry too. He didn’t want to believe what he had just heard.
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“ This can’t be happening! What am I supposed to tell his wife and his daughter?! They’re going to be so upset!”, Leonard cried.
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“ I know this is probably a difficult time for you right now but I’m sure you’ll figure out the best way to tell them. I’m very sorry for your loss.”, the EMT sympathetically said as he placed a gloved hand on Leonard’s shoulder before him and his partner carted Sheldon’s seemingly lifeless body away. Instead of taking Sheldon to the coroner’s office they decided to just take him straight to the funeral home where they explained the situation before the employees of the funeral home stored his body in the basement freezer. Meanwhile the three geeks managed to suck up enough courage to make it back to the apartment building despite the shock and overwhelming grief they were feeling and Leonard knew he was about to make it all worse the moment he got in the door. As they were nearing the fourth floor Leonard cried, “ I can’t do this you guys! Leo’s going to lose it when I tell her that she lost her husband and that Cayela lost her father!” His voice cracked and shaked with every word that came out of his mouth.
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“ I know, but, we’ll do it together!”, Howard cried.
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“ Ok!”, Leonard cried. Then when they reached the door to 4A, Raj cried, “ Are you ready for this you guys?!”
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“ I’m not!”, Leonard cried as he death gripped his friends to keep himself from falling onto the floor.
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“ Oh shut up Leonard! Ok, 1, 2, 3!”, Howard cried as he reached for the door with a shaking hand. He slowly opened the door and the three men took a deep breath before they walked in still death gripping each other’s hands. Leo and Dakota immediately knew something was up when they saw this.
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“ Uh… Leonard, Howard, Raj? Why are you acting all strange and… where’s Sheldon?”, Leo asked in confusion as she stood next to Dakota.
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“ I can’t do this!”, Leonard cried as he spun around and immediately tried to sprint out of the apartment but Howard grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked him back in.
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“ Stop trying to chicken out Leonard! You need to do this!”, Howard cried.
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“ I can’t tell Leo this Howard! I just can’t!”, Leonard cried.
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“ Tell me what?! What is going on?! You’re freaking us out!”, Leo asked in concern.
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“ Yeah why the hell are you guys crying?!”, Dakota asked in concern.
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“ Ok, Leo sit down! You too Dakota!”, Leonard cried.
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“ Ok out with it Leonard! What is it?!”, Leo said in concern as she sat down on the couch while Dakota sat in Leonard’s chair.
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“ I… I need you to stay as calm as possible but… we were on our way back from the Chinese restuarant when… a car suddenly sped through an intersection as we were crossing the street and… I don’t know how to tell you this but… Sheldon’s… gone!”, Leonard cried as he sat down next to Leo and gently held her hand. Once again his voice cracked with every word he said. The two women just stared at him with looks of shock on their faces as if they thought he was nuts.
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“ What?!”, Leo and Dakota shrieked.
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“ Gone?! What do you mean he’s gone Leonard?! I swear to God you better tell me what happened to my husband or I’m gonna hurt you!”, Leo shrieked as her voice began to get more frantic.
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“ I mean that he died at the scene! I’m so sorry!”, Leonard cried. Leo’s heart dropped when she heard those words come out of her friend’s mouth. Dakota gasped and bursted into tears while Leo just sunk to the floor screaming as tears started coming down her face. Dakota just held onto her crying as Leo cried out, “ This can’t happen to me a second time! I can’t handle this! SHELDON!”
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“ Leo calm down! Just breathe!”, Dakota cried.
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“ I can’t Dakota! This is one of my worst fears and it just came true! Oh God, SHELDON!”, Leo cried out.
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“ Mom what’s going on? Why are you crying out here?”, Cayela asked when she came running out of her room to see what the commotion was. Oreo trotted on the floor behind her with her tail up in the air.
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“ Oh Cayela, I don’t know how to tell you this but… your father’s gone!”, Leo cried as she stared at her daughter with tear glistening eyes.
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“ What?! What do you mean by that?! Is he…?!”, Cayela shrieked. Leo nodded her head as she continued to cry.
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“ Oh my God! DAD!”, Cayela shrieked as she fell to her knees and buried her face into her hands as she started to cry. She didn’t want to believe that she had just lost her father.
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“ Come here sweetheart!”, Leo cried as she reached out to Cayela. Cayela just threw herself into her mother and cried, “ This is a bad dream! Somebody please tell me this is a bad dream!”
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“ Meow?”
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“ Come here Oreo!”, Cayela cried as she picked up her cat and hugged her tightly. Oreo nuzzled Cayela’s chin as Leo, Cayela, Dakota, Leonard, Howard and Raj continued to cry.
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“ We need to tell everybody in the family that Sheldon passed away!”, Dakota cried.
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“ I’ll do it even though I don’t want to!”, Leonard cried as he took out his phone and made some phone calls. When everyone got the word they all gathered at 4A where even more tears were shed as they discussed what to do next. It was decided that Sheldon would have wanted to be cremated since he had a thing about germs touching his body and would not a ground burial. Everyone began sharing crazy stories of him and watched old home videos of themselves and the crazy adventures they had together. Eventually they managed to fall asleep that evening even though it was hard to and Leo had decided to sleep on the couch since she refused to sleep in the bedroom that she had shared with her husband. The thought of her sleeping in there without her other half was enough to reduce her to tears and she couldn’t bare it. She missed Sheldon so much that she wished that this was all a dream but she knew it wasn’t. Her genius, loving and caring husband was gone forever and she couldn’t do anything about it. But little did she know that something was going on in the basement freezer of the funeral home that Sheldon was being stored in. Sheldon suddenly woke up and when he couldn’t see anything he banging his fist on what he thought was a door screaming, “ Hey! What in the name of Einstein is going on here?! Open up! I’m freezing cold and I can’t see anything!” This basically went on all night until at 7 in the morning a male employee of the funeral home walked downstairs to the basement to check on Sheldon’s body but the moment he opened the door to the freezer box that Sheldon was in he gasped when Sheldon suddenly came flying out of there and gripped the door as he was trying to steady himself.
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“ Good Lord, I thought someone would never open that door leaving me to die in there!”, Sheldon hyperventilated as he stared at the guy that finally let him out.
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“ Uh… so… you’re actually still alive?”, the guy asked in shock and confusion.
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“ Of course I’m alive! Why do you think I’ve been banging on this door for several hours?! I’ve been trying to get someone to let me out of this obnoxious freezing cold ice bucket! Now I want to know exactly who put me in here and why!”, Sheldon demanded.
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“ Because we all thought you were dead. The EMT that spoke to us said that you didn’t have any vital signs so they just declared you dead after that car hit you and transfered you here to our funeral home.”, the guy said as he scratched the back of his head.
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“ Where’s your supervisor?! I got a serious bone to pick with them about you guys disgracefully handling my person! That certainly can not be legal if I’m still alive and breathing! Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go call my wife and tell her what’s going on before she starts freaking the hell out!”, Sheldon shouted as he started walking away with his hands digging in his pockets for his cell phone.
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“ Yeah sure, whatever crazy man.”, the guy said as he backed away and ran back up the stairs. When Sheldon found his phone he dialed his wife’s number and listened to the dial tone. Leo started to wake up on the couch in the living room when she heard her Flobots ringtone go off was surprised to see her husband’s caller ID on the screen.
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“ Hello?”, Leo tiredly asked when she answered the phone.
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“ Oh thank God you answered Leo! I was about ready to freak out!”, Sheldon shrieked when he heard his wife’s voice on the other end.
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“ Sheldon?! Is that you?!”, Leo shrieked as she sat up on the couch. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
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“ Yes it’s me woman! Who do you think it is?! You don’t recognize the sound of your own husband’s voice?!”, Sheldon shrieked.
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“ I do but not when your best friend tells me 24 hours ago that you’re dead! Honey are you ok?!”, Leo asked.
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“ I’m freezing cold and a little bit sore but other than that I’m fine! Look can you please come down here to the funeral home to pick me up?! I don’t want to end up spending another night here!”, Sheldon shrieked.
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“ Ok ok calm down! I’ll throw on some clothes and be down there as soon as I can!”, Leo said as she got up, ended the call and headed to their bedroom. The noises suddenly woke up Dakota and Leonard and they came out of their bedroom to see what was going on.
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“ Leo where are you going at this time of day?!”, Leonard groggily asked as he poured himself and Dakota some coffee. Cayela was still sleeping in her room during all of this and didn’t hear any of it.
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“ I‘ll be right back Leonard! Can you and Dakota please stay here with Cayela for a moment?! I got to go take care of something really important!”, Leo said as she rushed to get her purse and keys.
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“ Well what is it?”, Dakota asked.
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“ I’ll let you know in a few minutes! I got to go! Bye!”, Leo exclaimed as she grabbed her purse and keys before she ran out of the apartment. When she pulled up in the parking lot of the funeral home she was surprised to see her husband already sitting on the steps outside.
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“ Honey you could have just waited for me inside, you didn’t have to come outside and sit on the steps!”, Leo said when she walked up to him.
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“ Are you nuts woman?! I’m absolutely not staying in a place that’s possibly diseased infested! Who knows how many countless corpses have traipsed in and out of there over the years carrying in unknown diseases and deadly bacteria! I’d rather not die from an illness thank you very much!”, Sheldon said as he stood up.
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“ You and your germophobia, what am I ever going to do with you?”, Leo asked as she shook her head.
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“ I don’t know but can you please take me home Leo? I’ve had a rough night.”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Of course Sheldon.”, Leo said but when she touched him she said, “ Honey you’re so freezing cold!”
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“ Yes I know that because I’ve been stuck in a funeral home freezer all night. I barely got any sleep because I was banging on the door and screaming for several hours until finally this morning one guy came and let me out.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well that doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you’re still here and that nothing seriously bad had happened to you. Let’s go home. It will all be better then.”, Leo said with a smile as she walked Sheldon to her car. On the car ride home Leo said, “ I was so upset last night. I really thought that I had lost my husband and that Cayela lost her father. I basically had slept on the couch because I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in our room, not without you.”
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“ That’s horrible to think about Leo but I can assure you that I’m alive and well. The only thing that I can recall was seeing a car coming at me and then just nothing but darkness. Although I shouldn’t say that because I also remember getting into a slight argument with Leonard before this all happened.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well at least your memory is still intact. That’s a good thing.”, Leo said.
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“ Indeed. I love you.”, Sheldon said with a smile.
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“ I love you too and you know what when we get home you can take a nice hot bath and get some much needed rest.”, Leo said as she kissed him.
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“ Then I shall do that but first I would like to see Cayela.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Fair enough.”, Leo said. When they got home Dakota and Leonard were relieved to see that Sheldon was actually still alive and that the EMT must have made a false statement. After they squeezed the hell out of Sheldon, called everyone in their family and told them that Sheldon was actually still alive they were all relieved. Leo and Sheldon then walked into their daughter’s room. Leo knelt down beside the bed, gently stroked Cayela’s cheek with her finger and said, “ Cayela, wake up sweetheart. It’s morning.” Cayela started moaning as she started to wake up. She turned her head to see her mother’s smiling face and when she saw her father right next to her she gasped in surprise.
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“ Hi Cayela.”, Sheldon said with a smile as he looked down at her.
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“ Dad!”, Cayela exclaimed as she jumped up into her father’s arms sobbing tears of joy. She was so happy to have her father back even though he never really left. Sheldon kissed the top of Cayela’s head as he gently rubbed circles on her back. Happy tears continued to fall from Cayela’s face and a smile spread across her face as she took in the soothing scent of her father’s clothes and she could hear the strong, steady beating of his heart from his chest cavity.
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“ I missed you so much! I thought you were gone forever! Everybody was talking about all these funeral plans for you but now it looks like we don’t have to go through with them because you’re still here!”, Cayela happily cried as she nuzzled her face into her father’s chest.
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“ It was quite a shock to me to say the least but I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, hopefully not for a very long time still.”, Sheldon said.
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“ I love you Dad!”, Cayela happily cried.
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“ I love you too sweetheart.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Why don’t you go take your bath and get some rest while I get Cayela dressed for the day.”, Leo said.
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“ Alright.”, Sheldon said as he handed Cayela over to Leo and walked out of the room.
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“ Where’s Dad going Mom?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Your father’s just going to take a bath and then he’s going to try to get some rest in our room. He spent the whole night banging on a funeral home freezer door screaming to get someone’s attention to let him out.”, Leo said as she grabbed what she needed out of the closet.
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“ Is that why he felt so cold?”, Cayela asked as her mother laid the items she was carrying out on the bed.
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“ Yes Cayela. Alright let’s get you changed and dressed for the day.”, Leo said as she laid Cayela down on the bed. After Cayela was changed and dressed for the day she went to go play with her Barbie dolls while Leo went into the living room to do some work on her laptop. Sheldon finished with his bath before he dried off and headed to the bedroom hoping to salvage some of his REM cycle. After 3 hours of rest he woke up and came out into the living room.
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“ Hello.”, Sheldon said as he sat down in his spot on the couch.
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“ Oh hi Sheldon. You look much better than you did this morning when I picked you up from the funeral home.”, Leo said when she looked up from her laptop.
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“ Thank you Leo.”, Sheldon said.
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“ You feeling better after that 3 hour nap you took buddy?”, Leonard asked.
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“ Yes very much so Leonard.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well that’s good.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ Good Lord, I never want something like that to happen to me again because that was just awful. I spent an entire night shut up in a dark, cold, cramped box which no doubtly had exposed me to unknown diseases and pathogens. Who knows how many countless corpses have been in there over the years.”, Sheldon said as he shook his head.
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“ Only you would be the germophobe you are Sheldon Cooper!”, Dakota laughed as she shook her head.
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“ That’s Dr. Sheldon Cooper to you Dakota Chantel ‘ Skullbreaker’ Hofstadter.”, Sheldon said as he rolled his eyes at her.
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“ I know, I was just messing with you! It’s what friends do!”, Dakota laughed.
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“ Interesting. Since when did we become friends?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Since the day I whacked Dr. Devon Stormbender’s face with that folding chair!”, Dakota laughed.
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“ Oh yes I remember that. That was when you reconnected with Leo and met us for the first time.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Exactly and ever since I cut ties with Rico we’ve all grown closer to each other and now we all live together as a family.”, Dakota said.
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“ Well Rico was just a flat out abusive jerk who didn’t deserve you unlike Leonard here who does. The guy beat you to near death with a Lucille bat from The Walking Dead he made.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yes I remember that Sheldon and I will never forget it. Not to mention he hit your daughter in the face at Simon’s promotion party.”, Dakota said.
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“ Oh yes don’t get me started on that! That was horrible! I wanted to wring the guy’s neck for that because nobody lays a hand on my little girl like that, ever!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Exactly! That was so uncalled for what he did! He shouldn’t have even been there in the first place point blank period!”, Dakota interjected.
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“ Yeah well I think we should all stop talking about Rico right now because he’s just jerk that doesn’t even deserve to be mentioned anymore.”, Leonard said.
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“ Yeah I agree Leonard. He’s a total jacka** and I hate him.”, Dakota said as she kissed him. But then she looked at her phone and shrieked, “ Oh crap, I got to go now! I forgot I pre-set up this appointment a few days ago!” before she picked up her keys and ran to the door.
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“ An appointment for what Dakota?!”, Leonard asked as he stared at his wife.
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“ I’ll tell you later Leonard! It’s a surprise! I got to go, bye!”, Dakota exclaimed as she made a mad dash out of the apartment. She had made an appointment to see a local tattoo artist to get a special tattoo done on her right shoulder. She had been wanting to do this since she met Leonard but had been too shy to do it up until this point because she wasn’t sure if things would work out between the two of them. But since they were married now Dakota had felt that this was the right time to show Leonard just how crazy she was about him and how much she really loves him.
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“ Hi I’m here for my tattoo appointment with Rud Matthews. The name is Dakota Chantel ’Skullbreaker’ Hofstadter.”, Dakota said to the lady behind the counter at the local tattoo shop.
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“ Ah yes Mrs. Hofstadter it appears you do have an appointment. Please take a seat for a moment and he shall be with you shortly.”, the lady said with a smile when she checked her computer and saw that Dakota’s name was in the system.
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“ Thank you.”, Dakota said with a smile as she took a seat on one of the chairs. The lady walked to the back room and called out, “Rud, your appointment’s here!”
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“ Oh Mrs. Hofstadter’s here? Ok I’m coming.”, Rud said as he wiped his hands with a towel before following the lady back out into the lounge. When Dakota saw him she was surprised to see that he was a caucasian male who was at least 6 feet tall, had big huge biceps with tattoos on both of his arms, piercings on both of his ears, holes in the knees of his blue jean shorts, a very loose black tank top and his head was bald. He had a gold chain around his neck too. He looked like he was in his mid 40s and ripped to the max. Dakota didn’t really care that much about his appearance because she heard that he was supposively the best tattoo artist in town and that he was affordable, pricewise, so she thought why not give him a shot and see what he’s about.
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“ Hi I’m Rud Matthews, the tattoo artist. It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Hofstadter.”, Rud said with a smile as he shook her hand.
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“ Thanks it’s nice to meet you too Rud. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time but I’ve just been too chicken to do it because I was afraid of what the outcome would be.”, Dakota said.
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“ Oh well you don’t need to be nervous, I’ve been doing tattoo art for 15 years. So I’ve got a good amount of experience under my belt. So tell me, what is it that you would like to have done?”, Rud asked.
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“ Um I have a picture of it that I drew a couple days ago. Hold on let me get it out.”, Dakota said as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She then unfolded it and said, “ This is what I’m hoping to have done on my right shoulder. Now is this something you can do?” as she handed it to Rud. He looked at it for a moment and said, “ Yeah, I can totally do this. Let’s take this back to my station and we’ll get it started.”
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“ Thank you.”, Dakota said as she followed Rud to the back room. She sat down in the chair and rolled up her sleeve as Rud was preparing the ink and needle. He then wiped off her shoulder and asked, “ So who are you doing this for?”
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“ Um I’m actually doing for my husband as a surprise.”, Dakota said with a smile as Rud then placed the drawing over her shoulder and began poking through it making the outline with the needle. It was pretty uncomfortable but she didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was seeing the look on her husband’s face when she shows him what she had gotten done.
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“ Oh you’re married?!”, Rud asked as he finished with the outline before he started to go over it with the ink.
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“ Yes I am and I’m so crazy about him. Even the first time we met it was like instant sparks.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ Well that’s nice. He must sound like one hell of a great guy.”, Rud said with a smile as he continued with his work on Dakota’s shoulder.
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“ Yes he really is. He makes me the happiest woman in the whole entire world.”, Dakota said.
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“ Say your husband wouldn’t happen to be Dr. Leonard Hofstadter would it?”, Rud asked.
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“ Yes that’s exactly who my husband is. How did you know?”, Dakota asked.
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“ Well I just heard the last name Hofstadter and it made me think of that.”, Rud said.
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“ Well you sure seem to have a smart brain just like my husband.”, Dakota said.
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“ Thanks. So, I know this going to be an awkward question for you but what is it that you do for a living?”, Rud asked.
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“ Oh I’m an MMA fighter.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ Really?! A mixed martial arts fighter married to an experimental physicist?! That’s very interesting! I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before!”, Rud exclaimed.
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“ I know I get that a lot! People are always asking me how I ended up with a geek like him but in my personal opinion I don’t think he’s a geek at all, I love him for who he is and the only thing I can say is that it was Cupid’s Arrow that brought us together.”, Dakota said.
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“ Well that is really nice. So let me guess your fighter name is Skullbreaker?”, Rud asked.
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“ Yes it is. It was actually given to me by one of my fellow trainees after my first training session when I first started to get into mixed martial arts fighting. I was up against this one guy and I accidentally kicked his head so hard that it cracked his skull and he had to go to the hospital so hence that’s where the name Skullbreaker came from because my training coach said that every fighter needs a stage name to make them sound more intimidating to their opponents. So that’s why every time I introduce myself I throw my fighter name in there because that’s what people know me as. My maiden name was actually Harris before it became Hofstadter after I married Leonard.”, Dakota said.
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“ Oh well that’s good to know.”, Rud said.
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“ Yeah and speaking of fighting I haven’t told my husband this yet but I’m going to when I get home that I’ve actually been invited to go to China with my training coach and an assistant from the gym to participate in an international last man standing royal rumble that I think is next week I believe. I’m not sure, I would have to look at the calender again.”, Dakota said.
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“ Wow, you’re going to be in a royal rumble?! That’s awesome! I hope you win!”, Rud said.
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“ Thanks, I’m super excited about this! This is a really big deal for me! I’ve been training my butt off for this for months! I’ll be facing off against 20 other fighters, one from each country because that’s how the rules go! I’ve been chosen for the U.S. so that’s nice!”, Dakota exclaimed.
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“ Well like I said I hope you win. Oh and here you go your tattoo is done. Would you like to see it?”, Rud asked as he finished Dakota’s tattoo and put the needle down.
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“ Yes please.”, Dakota said. Rud grabbed a mirror and placed it in front of her. Dakota gasped in satisfaction when she saw how her tattoo came out. It came out better than expected.
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“ Oh my God I love it! You’re so talented Rud!”, Dakota exclaimed.
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“ Thank you Mrs. Hofstadter.”, Rud said.
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“ So how much do I owe you for the tattoo work?”, Dakota asked as she stood up after Rud placed a sticky patch over Dakota’s tattoo to protect it from getting smeared.
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“ That would be 42 bucks please.”, Rud said.
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“ Alright, here you go. 42 bucks.”, Dakota said as she took out her wallet and handed over the cash to him.
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“ Thank you very much. If there’s anything else you want me to do for you just feel free to call me and come in any time you want when my shop’s open.”, Rud said with a smile.
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“ Thank you.”, Dakota said. Then she asked, “ Now with regards to taking care of this what should I do to best take care of it?”
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“ Well leave that patch on for at least 24 hours until the ink settles and then after that you can take it off and what I would do is get a waterproof, skin safe UVA/UVB protection sealent and spray it over the tattoo to protect it from getting sunbleached and faded. You should get the best long lasting results that way.”, Rud said.
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“ Ok thank you I will do that. Bye now.”, Dakota said as she was walking out.
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“ Bye.”, Rud said. When Dakota got home she was surprised to see Cayela sprawled out on the couch on her phone, Oreo perched up on top of the back rest of the couch, Leo and Sheldon working on their whiteboards and Leonard sitting at his desk working on his laptop.
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“ Hey I’m home.”, Dakota said.
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“ Oh hi Dakota.”, Leo said as she looked over her shoulder.
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“ Yes, hello.”, Sheldon said.
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“ You were gone for quite a bit. Where did you go?”, Leonard asked.
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“ I went to a tattoo shop and got a tattoo.”, Dakota said.
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“ Really?!”, Leo asked.
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“ That’s so cool Auntie Dakota!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ Good Lord, are you a hooligan?!”, Sheldon exclaimed as he stared at her.
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“ No I am not nor will I ever be Sheldon! Chill out!”, Dakota spat back as she placed her hands on her hips.
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“ What did you get done?”, Leonard asked.
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“ I’ll show you. Surprise!”, Dakota said with a smile as she carefully pulled the adhesive patch off for a quick second to show off her brand new tattoo. It was some words, a heart with an arrow through it below the words and inside the heart was a syringe and needle.
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“ Experimental physics is my drug! Dakota I so love you!”, Leonard laughed when he read what his wife’s tattoo said.
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“ I know you do and I love you too! That’s why I got this done just to show you how crazy I am about you!”, Dakota laughed as she kissed him.
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“ Ok that is seriously the coolest tattoo I’ve ever seen in my life! Who did that?!”, Leo exclaimed when she saw her friend’s tattoo.
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“ Oh a local tattoo artist named Rud Matthews. I heard that he was the best in town so I decided to give him a shot.”, Dakota said.
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“ What did he look like?”, Leo asked.
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“ You know, I’d rather not talk about that but what I do want to talk about is something actually very exciting that I’ve been meaning to tell you guys but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. So starting next week I think I will be going to China with my training coach and an assistant from the gym I go to, to participate in an international last man standing royal rumble match.”, Dakota said.
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“ WHAT?!”, Leo, Sheldon, Leonard and Cayela exclaimed.
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“ You’re going to be in a royal rumble in China?!”, Leonard asked in complete shock. He couldn’t believe what his wife just said.
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“ Yes and it’s going to be covered live all over the television. I’m going to be going up against like 20 other fighters, one from each country. It’s going to be insane.”, Dakota said with a smile.
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“ That’s amazing Dakota! We’re so going to watch it!”, Leo exclaimed.
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“ Thanks Leo that means a lot!”, Dakota said.
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“ What channel is that going to be on?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ I think it’s on Channel 225 Beijing Sports Live.”, Dakota said.
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“ The fight’s in Beijing, China?”, Leonard asked.
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“ Yes it is. Where did you think it would be Leonard?”, Dakota said.
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“ I don’t know.”, Leonard said.
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“ What’s a last man standing royal rumble?”, Cayela asked as she sat up on the couch.
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“ It’s basically a multi-fighter fight where they place you in this much bigger octagon but the only difference is that it has a chute that protrudes out of it. You have to knock your opponents out through that chute to eliminate them from the fight and whoever is the last person that’s still standing in the ring wins the fight. It’s a much different set up then a regular MMA fight. You’ll see what I mean when you see it on the tv Cayela.”, Dakota said as she put the patch back over her tattoo.
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“ That just sounds very obnoxious.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Well that’s your opinion Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper not mine! I think it’s very thrilling and I’m very excited to be doing this! I’ve been training my butt off for this for months! Because let me tell you something, you don’t know how much of a big deal this actually is! I’m literally going for an international championship title here! If I win that fight my status goes up to 2 championship tittles under my name! I would have a world-class championship and an international one! So you can go ahead and say whatever you want just as long as it doesn’t dampen my mood! If it does I’ll take you down in two seconds flat right on this living room floor!”, Dakota chuckled.
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“ You can do that Dakota only on the condition that it doesn’t kill me.”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ Ok! Here you go!”, Dakota exclaimed as she suddenly grabbed his arm and flipped him to the floor causing Sheldon to scream.
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“ Well, you asked for it buddy!”, Leonard laughed as he stared down at his best friend.
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“ Leonard that’s not funny!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Sheldon are you ok?!”, Leo laughed as she stared at her husband.
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“ I’m sore but I’m fine! Could you please help me up Leo instead of just standing there laughing at me?!”, Sheldon interjected.
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“ Yes of course!”, Leo laughed as she helped him get up.
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“ Oh my god Auntie Dakota I can’t believe you actually flipped my dad like that! Can you flip me next?!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Absolutely not Cayela! I do not want to hurt you and get arrested for child abuse! You’re a child!”, Dakota interjected.
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“ Dear Lord you have such gorrilla strength woman! You almost ripped my arm out!”, Sheldon shrieked as he stared at Dakota.
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“ Well what did you expect Sheldon?! I’m a fighter! It’s not like I cracked your skull which I would totally do if you pissed me off enough! No offense to you Leo!”, Dakota interjected.
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“ You’re not going to do that because you’ll just end up putting me in the hospital and I hate hospitals!”, Sheldon shot back.
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“ I know that, I’m just pulling your peach. But no seriously I would totally crack your skull if you pissed me off enough. So you might not want to do something that’s going to set me off because I would kick your butt.”, Dakota said.
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‘ Wow this is so unbelievable! I have a hot, butt-kicking wife! My former peers from high school are never going to believe this!’, Leonard thought in his head as a smile spread across his face.
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“ Well then I shall not do those things because I do not wish to end up flat on my back again.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Good I hope you keep that promise.”, Dakota said. The conversations continued and 1 week later Dakota was on a flight to China with her training coach and the gym assistant. She hated being so far away from her family but she knew that they would be watching her fight from home on the television which got her even more excited. When they arrived in Beijing they checked into their hotel and Dakota prepared herself for the next evening’s big fight. The next evening came and the others were gathered around the tv in 4A’s living room to watch Dakota’s big royal rumble match. Leonard could feel his heart pounding in anticipation as he sat in his living room chair watching the tv screen. The others were feeling it too and they could hear the crowd going wild as the fighters started coming out into the arena one by one. The song bouncing off the walls was a Sumo Slamma remix of Natasha Bedingfield’s Pocketful of Sunshine. As each fighter’s face was displayed on the screen symbols of Chinese characters were displayed underneath them with the English translation of their name next to it in parentheses.
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“ Yes! That’s my wife! Go get ‘em honey!”, Leonard exclaimed when he saw his wife on the screen showing off a few moves, acting all tough, scary and mean.
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“ You got this Dakota!”, Leo, Sheldon, Howard, Bernadette, Penny, Amy, Stuart, Raj, Yesenia, Morgan, Carmen, Kemdan, Melissa, Shelina, Megynn, Molly, Danny and even surprisingly Mrs. Rivers exclaimed. Leo had invited Mrs. Rivers over because after she told her that Dakota was going to be in a big fight broadcasted live all over the tv she said that she wanted to see it to support her. Cayela also had all of her friends over too including her boyfriend Kirby. Leo called her family in Georgia and asked them if they were sitting in front of the tv at home in their living room watching Beijing Sports Live too and her mother said yes. Sheldon’s mother, brother and twin sister were surprisingly watching it too down in Texas and the Harrises were watching it as well from their home in Kentucky.
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“ Ok Skullbreaker, this is it! The big fight night! This is what the last few months of training have been about! Now go out there and show ‘em who’s boss! Show ‘em just what the real Skullbreaker can do!”, Denzel Kenner, Dakota’s fight coach interjected as he was giving Dakota a last minute pep talk.
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“ You got it Coach Kenner!”, Dakota interjected as she was jogging in place.
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“ Get tough!”, Kenner interjected. Dakota made herself look tough which pleased her coach.
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“ Get scary!”, Artemis, the gym assistant interjected as she tossed her hair back. Dakota showed off her scariest face ever.
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“ GET MEAN!”, Kenner and Artemis interjected together. Dakota roared like a lion showing off her meanest looking face ever.
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“ Alright now go out there and make this the best fight of your life! Are you ready?!”, Kenner shouted.
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“ YES!”, Dakota shouted.
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“ Hands in Skullbreaker and Artemis!”, Kenner shouted as he put his hand down. The two women put their hands on top of his and the three of them chanted, “ U.S.A, U.S.A., U.S.A!” before they lifted their hands up and Dakota entered the ring with the other foreign fighters whom she did not know. A male Chinese refuree shouted, “ Douzheng! ( Fight!)” as he brought his arm down right in the center of the ring which set off the bell starting round 1. The fighters circled each other throwing a series of punches and kicks at each other, slamming each other into the walls as they were trying to eliminate each other. By the end of the first round 6 fighters had been eliminated from the fight. They were the fighters from Germany, Spain, Japan, Vietnam, Italy and even China. They went into round 2 with 14 fighters left and Dakota was still among them going strong. Her family and friends were still watching this at home cheering her on.
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“ Dakota! Dakota! Dakota! Dakota! Dakota! Dakota!”, Leo, Sheldon, Leonard, Penny, Howard, Raj, Stuart, Bernadette, Amy, Morgan, Carmen, Yesenia, Kemdan, Megynn, Melissa, Shelina, Molly, Danny and Mrs. Rivers chanted together as they stood in front of the tv shoulder to shoulder bouncing around in anticipation.
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“ Come on Auntie Dakota you got this!”, Cayela exclaimed as she was jumping around not really aware that she almost stepped on Oreo causing the cat to screech and dart under the couch.
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“ This is so epic!”, Florence exclaimed.
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“ Yeah I totally agree! Do you think she’s going to win?!”, Charlotte exclaimed.
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“ I hope so! I’d be shocked if she didn’t!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ Yo I think we all would!”, Julia exclaimed.
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“ Yeah no chiz!”, Summer exclaimed.
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“ I could go for some chiz right about now!”, Kirby exclaimed.
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“ Kirby would you shut up?!”, Arista laughed.
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“ Hey I got an idea, why don’t we all shut up and just watch the fight?!”, Robbie laughed as she tossed her hair back. The second round ends and 7 more fighters had gotten eliminated leaving 7 left and once again Dakota was still in it. Sweat was dripping down her face as her adrenaline rush started pumping faster and faster through her veins. Each move she made gave her more and more motivation to keep going. She knew they were going into the 3rd and final round and she was more than determined to end it with a big win.
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“ Alright come on, third and final round! Let’s go Skullbreaker!”, Kenner shouted over the crowd.
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“ You can do this girl! Crush ‘em! Show ‘em what you’re made of!”, Artemis shouted. Dakota winked at her to show her that she acknowledged that and began to get more amped up. 5 more then got eliminated leaving Dakota just up against a French woman. By this point the crowd was literally on the edge of their seats cheering for both women to eliminate each other. Kenner and Artemis were leaning up against the wall of the octagon with their fists balled up in anticipation as they watched Dakota kick and punch the hell out of this woman. They could tell that this other woman was starting to get tired out which made them feel hopeful that Dakota was likely going to win this match. At this point they were waiting to hear Dakota’s theme song go off.
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‘ Come on, Bleed It Out by Linkin Park. Let’s go.’, Kenner and Artemis thought in their heads as they held their breath. But then Kenner shouted, “ Go for the 3 spin headbuster kick Skullbreaker! Take her out!” Dakota nodded her head and the commentator interjected, “Hao zhege weili shi ta de xiangqin! Touguduanlu qi chuxian ta shi qu duiyu ta de jing jiagong yidong, san zhuan hongdong yishi ti! Jiang ta zuo ta?! ( Well this might be it folks! Skullbreaker appears to be going for her finishing move, a 3 spin headbuster kick! Will she do it?!)”
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“ Surf’s up dudette! Cowabunga!”, Dakota shouted.
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“ He zheli ta qu! Ta’s qu duiyu de yi, er, san! He ta zuole ta! Daketa zhou ‘ Touguduanlu qi’ Huo fu shi ta te xuyao de guoji de jinbiaosai biaoti! Shenme xinfan yi luan! ( And here she goes! She’s going for the 1, 2, 3! And she did it! Dakota ‘ Skullbreaker’ Hofstadter takes the international championship title! What an upset!)”, the commentator bellowed as the crowd went wild after Dakota spin kicked the French woman in the head 3 times sending her down the chute and out of the ring. The final bell went off and the moment Dakota’s theme song started to go off Kenner whipped his hat off his head, tossed it aside and him and Artemis shouted, “ YES! SKULLBREAKER GOT THE TITLE!” The two of them did a fist bump explosion as they started dancing around outside of the octagon in celebration while Dakota was celebrating on the inside throwing rapid punches and kicks everywhere, gritting her teeth together and roaring in victory. The lights in the whole arena were also dancing around and strobing to the beat of Dakota’s theme song. It bounced off the walls as the crowd was going nuts.
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“ YEAH! THAT’S OUR GIRL! WAY TO GO DAKOTA!”, Mr. and Mrs. Harris interjected as they threw their arms around each other.
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“ YOU GO SIS!”, Johnathan and Eamon interjected as they high fived each other and body slammed each other. They couldn’t believe that their sister just won the biggest MMA fight of her life.
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“ YES! DAKOTA WON!”, Leo, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Raj, Stuart, Penny, Amy, Bernadette, Morgan, Carmen, Yesenia, Kemdan, Megynn, Melissa, Shelina, Molly, Danny and Mrs. Rivers exclaimed as they started to celebrate. The Fordyces were also celebrating at home as well as the Coopers.
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“ YAY FOR AUNTIE DAKOTA!”, Cayela exclaimed. Howard took his shirt off and whipped around over his head before throwing it aside while Leonard exclaimed, “ MY WIFE IS AN INTERNATIONAL CHAMPION!” Howard and Raj then took Leonard aside to the kitchen, grabbed two Vodka bottles out of the fridge, popped the corks off and began raining the alcohol everywhere all over Leonard and themselves going bananas and screeching like banshees.
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“ Good Lord! Could you 3 be any more obnoxious?!”, Sheldon shrieked as he stared at his three best friends who were hamming it up in the kitchen.
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“ Fellas, fellas, please! What the hell are you idiots doing?!”, Penny shrieked.
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“ Penny shut up! My wife just won the biggest MMA fight of her life! Let me bask in the moment!”, Leonard exclaimed as he continued to dance around like an idiot screeching like a banshee. Meanwhile back in Beijing, Dakota then came jogging out of the octagon with the biggest smile in history on her face as she threw her arms around Kenner and Artemis. They began to chant “ U. S. A!” over and over again as they left the arena and went out to dinner to celebrate.
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“ Girl you were on fire tonight! You creamed those losers!”, Artemis exclaimed as she sat across from Dakota next to Kenner in the Chinese restuarant of their choice.
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“ Yeah I agree! I don’t think in all my years of MMA fight coaching have I seen a fight as amazing as this one was tonight! You have definitely shown them how much you wanted this title, and you got it! You now have two championship titles under your name! That’s MMA fight history in the making right there!”, Kenner exclaimed.
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“ Thank you Coach Kenner and Artemis! I couldn’t have done this without you guys! I owe this big win to you because you have pushed me to work so hard in training over these past few months and it paid off!”, Dakota exclaimed still grinning from ear to ear.
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“ Hell yeah it did!”, Kenner exclaimed.
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“ Big time girl!”, Artemis exclaimed as she nodded her head.
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“ Alright ladies, I say we have a toast.”, Kenner said as he held up his glass. The two women did the same with theirs.
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“ To Dakota ’Skullbreaker’ Hofstadter, America’s world-class and international champion.”, Kenner said.
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“ Cheers!”, Artemis and Dakota exclaimed as the three of them clinked glasses together and took a sip. They finished their dinner before heading back to their hotel room. Then the next day they flew back home and the moment Dakota walked in the door she was immediately blasted in the face with confetti canons by Leonard, Leo and Sheldon as they exclaimed, “ Welcome home! Congratulations Dakota!” There was a big banner that hung up in the living room that said Congrulations Dakota and there was a cake that Leo made with candles that spelled out Dakota’s name and icing that said Kick-Ass fighter with an exclaimation point at the end of it. Leo lit the candles and Dakota blew them all out as if it was a birthday cake.
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“ Thanks you guys this is great! But wait a second, where’s Cayela?!”, Dakota exclaimed.
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“ Surprise! Silly string attack!”, Cayela exclaimed as she came tearing out of her room spraying two cans of silly string all over Dakota.
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“ Ok ok you got me you got me! Stop!”, Dakota laughed as Cayela then jumped on top of her knocking her to the floor.
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“ Sorry Auntie Dakota! I just missed you!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ I missed you too kid! Oh it feels so great to be back home with my family!”, Dakota exclaimed as she embraced Cayela. They then got up off the floor and Leonard asked, “ So how was it?”
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“ Oh it was great! The best time of my life although I hated to be away from you guys.”, Dakota said.
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“ Well how about you tell us all about it over a slice of cake! It’s not going to eat itself you know!”, Leo laughed as she grabbed the dessert plates and forks off the kitchen counter and grabbed a serving knife out of the drawer to cut the cake with.
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“ That is so true Leo! I’ll take the first slice!”, Dakota laughed as she grabbed one of the plates and forks from her friend while handing the rest to Sheldon, Leonard and Cayela. Leo also kept one for herself as well while she cut the first slice of cake and gave it to Dakota. Leo then cut a few more slices, one for herself, one for her husband, one for her daughter and one for her other friend. They sat down in the living room together enjoying their cake as Dakota talked about her whole fight and how happy she was about winning it. Oreo tried to eat a piece of Cayela’s slice of cake off of Cayela’s fork as Cayela was trying to eat it after she jumped up on Cayela’s lap letting out a meow.
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“ Hey! Don’t eat that you naughty kitty! That’s not yours!”, Cayela laughed as she moved her fork away from her pet and ate the piece of cake.
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“ Uh oh it looks like we’re going to have to go put the rest of this cake away in the fridge before Oreo eats some and possibly makes herself sick from it.”, Leo said.
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“ I’ll do it. I’m already done with my piece of cake.”, Leonard said as he got up and put the rest of the cake away in the fridge after covering it with the lid. Once they were all done eating their cake things carried on as normal throughout the rest of the day. Then two days later Florence was dropped off at the apartment with some of her things because her parents were going on a cruise for several weeks to celebrate their wedding anniversary and they didn’t want her and her siblings staying by themselves so they took Trevor and Julianne over to Serenity’s house and just decided to let Florence stay with her best friend Cayela for a while.
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“ Ok Florence, your father and I are going to take off now. Please behave yourself and if you have a problem just call your Aunt Serenity or your Uncle Hubert. Do not try to contact your father and I because we’re not going to have cell service 7,000 miles off the shoreline in the middle of the ocean and we don’t want to be racking up expensive international roaming fees.”, Mrs. Crenshamezki said as she set Florence’s bags down on the floor in the living room of 4A.
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“ Ok Mom I will.”, Florence said with a smile as she hugged her mother.
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“ Yes please don’t be getting into any trouble while we’re gone and especially don’t be going up onto other people’s rooftops to have water balloon fights without permission like you did at your best friend Cayela’s grandparents house down in Georgia. We don’t want you and Cayela getting hurt. I don’t care if you see other people doing it bottom line is you’re not allowed to be doing it too. Your mother and I will be asking Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fordyce-Cooper about your behavior when we get back from our cruise and if they say anything bad about stuff you shouldn’t have been doing at all you’re going to be grounded, do you hear me?”, Mr. Crenshamezki asked as he narrowed his eyes at his daughter.
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“ Yes I hear you Dad. I promise I won’t get into any trouble.”, Florence said.
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“ Good. Alright we love you and we’re taking off now before we end up missing our flight to Florida and our ship’s boarding time.”, Mr. Crenshamezki said as he hugged her and kissed her on the head.
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“ Ok bye Mom and Dad. Love you too.”, Florence said.
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“ Thank you so much for letting Florence come over to stay with you for a while.”, Mrs. Crenshamezki said.
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“ Oh it’s no problem at all, we love having her over here. You and Gary just have a wonderful cruise Patricia and we’ll see you when you get back.”, Leo said with a smile.
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“ Thank you Leo. Bye.”, Mrs. Crenshamezki said with a smile.
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“ Patricia come on, let’s go! We’re going to be late!”, Mr. Crenshamezki hollered at his wife as he was walking toward the stairs.
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“ I’m coming Gary, would you chill out?! My god!”, Mrs. Crenshamezki interjected at her husband as she followed him. Their voices faded down the stairwell as Sheldon shut the door.
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“ Ok Florence, as of right now my wife and I are the authority figures here so that means you and Cayela need to listen to what we say and not get too obnoxious when we tell you to do something. Are we clear on that?”, Sheldon asked as he stood with his back against the door and his arms were crossed in front of his chest.
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“ Yes Dr. Cooper I know not to act too crazy because I don’t think I want to get grounded by my parents when they come back from their cruise.”, Florence said.
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“ Ok good, I was just making sure you had your listening ears on so I don’t have to scream at you. We want you and Cayela to have fun with each other while you’re here but we also want you to be safe too so that means no obnoxious rough-housing with each other, no getting up on the rafters and lights out at 9 o’clock p.m. So none of this staying up late nonsense just because your parents are on vacation Florence. You girls still have to go to school in the mornings and we don’t want to be getting any phone calls from the teachers saying that you two have been sleeping in class everyday just because you wanted to stay up a few extra minutes playing with Barbie dolls, listening to music, doing Tik Tok videos or Lord only knows what you girls like to do when you get together all the time.”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at his daughter Cayela and her best friend Florence.
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“ Since when do you think we do Tik Tok videos Dad?!”, Cayela laughed as she rolled her eyes at her father. Florence started laughing too.
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“ I don’t know Cayela, I’m just thinking of things that I know most young people your age like to do.”, Sheldon said as he shook his head.
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“ That’s actually really funny Cayela! We should do one!”, Florence laughed.
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“ What, make a Tik Tok video?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Yeah, why not?! It could be fun!”, Florence laughed.
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“ Alright what the heck, let’s do it!”, Cayela exclaimed.
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“ Ok Cayela you two can make Tik Tok videos on one condition, do not do anything inappropriate in them. No gang related signs and do not wear anything too revealing. Your father and I do not want some random perverted internet peeping toms looking at our autistic 14 year old daughter and her best friend. Got it?”, Leo asked.
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“ Yes we get it Mom.”, Cayela said.
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“ Alright you may go now.”, Leo said.
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“ Sweet! Let’s go make some Tik Tok videos bestie!”, Florence exclaimed.
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“ Ok!”, Cayela exclaimed as the two girls ran off to Cayela’s room dragging Florence’s belongings with them.
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“ Cayela no running in the apartment! How many times do we have to tell you that?!”, Leo scolded.
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“ Sorry Mom!”, Cayela called back as she shut the door behind her. Leo shook her head as she walked over to her desk and the moment she sat down she received a phone call. It was President Siebert asking her if she would come in and work for a few minutes.
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“ Of course President Siebert, I’ll be right there. Thank you, bye.”, Leo said before she hung up.
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“ Where are you going Leo?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ President Siebert asked me to come into work for a few minutes Sheldon so I’m heading up to Caltech.”, Leo said as she picked up her work folder and her purse.
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“ Well, alright. Be careful.”, Sheldon said.
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“ I will. I love you.”, Leo said as she kissed him.
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“ I love you too.”, Sheldon said as he kissed her back.
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“ Well wait a minute Leo I got to head out too.”, Dakota said as she came out of hers and Leonard’s bedroom in her fight outfit.
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“ Where are you going Dakota?”, Leo asked as she stared at her friend.
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“ I got to go to the gym for a training session so it looks like it’s just our husbands, the girls and the cat for a bit.”, Dakota said as she was swinging her keys around her finger.
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“ Lucky us.”, Leonard said with a smile.
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“ Indeed.”, Sheldon said as he nodded his head.
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“ Please be careful Dakota. Try not to get a concussion.”, Leonard said.
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“ I’ll try my best Leonard. I love you.”, Dakota said as she kissed him.
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“ I love you too. See you in a bit.”, Leonard said as he kissed her back.
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“ You too. Come on Leo let’s hit it.”, Dakota said as she headed to the door.
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“ Alright I’m coming Dakota. Oh and if you guys need to go out and run some errands for any reason make sure you grab Cayela’s diaper bag before you leave just in case if she needs to be changed. We don’t want her getting a rash or developing some kind of infection.”, Leo said as she slung her purse over her shoulder.
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“ I know what to do Leo. Just get going before President Siebert starts yelling at you.”, Sheldon said with a smile.
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“ Alright bye.”, Leo said as her and Dakota left the apartment leaving the two men in charge of the girls. Sheldon and Leonard decided to watch some tv while Cayela and Florence were in her room making stupid funny Tik Tok videos. At some point Sheldon told Leonard that they should probably go out and run some errands because they’re running low on some stuff and it would be helpful considering the fact that Florence was going to be staying with them for several weeks.
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“ Alright let’s go get the girls and head out.”, Leonard said as the two of them started walking towards Cayela’s room.
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“ Oh my god these Tik Toks are so funny Cayela! What do you think we should do for Tik Tok #4?!”, Florence laughed after they just watched their 3rd Tik Tok they made.
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“ Well I was thinking we could...!”, Cayela laughed but was suddenly interrupted by a series of familiar knocks on her bedroom door.
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Florence!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Florence!”
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Knock knock knock! “ Cayela and Florence!”
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“ Yeah Dad come in, what is it?!”, Cayela interjected through the door at her father.
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“ Come on we need to go run some errands.”, Sheldon said when he opened the door.
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“ Ok but why do we have to come with you and Uncle Leonard? Where are Mom and Auntie Dakota?”, Cayela asked in confusion.
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“ Your mother got called into work and your Auntie Dakota just went to the gym for a training session. You can’t stay here by yourselves with Oreo so you have to come with your father and I for a few minutes.”, Leonard said.
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“ Ok it looks like we’re going to have to hold off on Tik Tok #4 until we get back Florence.”, Cayela said as she grabbed her phone off the tripod.
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“ Sounds cool with me.”, Florence said.
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“ Now hold on wait a minute, you two already did 3 Tik Toks that fast?!”, Sheldon asked in complete shock.
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“ Yeah we just posted our third one Dad and we were just about to start our fourth one when you and Uncle Leonard interrupted us!”, Cayela laughed.
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“ Yes well you can do that after we get back from the store.”, Sheldon said as they walked out of the room after shutting the light off.
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“ Let me just grab my keys and my wallet out of the bowl.”, Leonard said as he walked over to the bowl by the front door to grab his keys and wallet out of it.
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“ Alright and I got Cayela’s diaper bag so I think we’re ready to go.”, Sheldon said as he grabbed his daughter’s diaper bag off the coat rack and slung it over his shoulder after he put on his dark blue windbreaker jacket on.
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“ Good because you don’t want your wife screaming at you Sheldon.”, Leonard said as he stuffed his wallet in his pocket and held his keys in his other hand. His asthma inhaler was clipped to his belt as well.
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“ That’s correct I don’t Leonard.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Meow!”
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“ We’ll be back in a few Oreo. Just go play with a toy or eat some catnip.”, Leonard said to the little black kitty that jumped up onto one of the arms of the couch, meowing and licking her paw as the tip of her tail slowly swished back and forth. She was looking at him as if to say ‘ Where are you all going? Don’t leave me alone. I love you all so much.’ Leonard shook his head with a smirk on his face as they all walked out shutting the door behind them.
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“ Have you ever wondered what that cat does when we’re not here Leonard?”, Sheldon asked.
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“ Maybe a little bit Sheldon but what do you expect, she’s a cat. She does what she wants when she wants.”, Leonard said as he locked up the apartment and they started walking down the stairs.
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“ That’s true. And one thing I will say, having just one cat to take care of is much better than having 25 cats at one time.”, Sheldon said as he remembered the time that he took in 25 cats as a replacement for Amy after they had broken up once but then he adopted them out and gave each person 20 dollars after they got back together.
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“ Uh you think buddy?”, Leonard asked as he nodded his head.
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“ Wait, what?!”, Cayela exclaimed in complete shock as she looked in her father’s direction but didn’t fully make eye contact with him.
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“ That’s a story for another time Cayela when your mother’s around. Get in the car.”, Sheldon said before he took the diaper bag off his shoulder and got into the passenger front seat of Leonard’s car placing the bag down on the floor by his feet while Leonard got in the driver’s seat next to him. Cayela and Florence got in the back seat and strapped themselves in. Leonard sticked his key in the ignition and did all of the safety checks that a person would normally do when getting into a car before he put his foot on the break pedal. The moment Leonard started up his car and put it in reverse was when the cd player kicked on and the song Going Down by Three Days Grace started playing before he backed out of the parking space and switched gears to drive.
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Took me down to the river
So I could drown drown drown
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Looking up through the water
I kept sinking down down down
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“ Oh my god this song sounds so cool.”, Florence said with a smile as she leaned back in the seat.
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“ Uncle Leonard what song is this and what band is it?”, Cayela asked.
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“ Going Down by Three Days Grace. Why?”, Leonard asked.
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“ I’m going to download this, this is cool.”, Cayela said with a smile as she took out her phone and went into her ITunes(Apple Music) account.
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I feel like I’m dying
I got one foot in the ground
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Never knew what love was
Until you came around…
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“ Cayela be careful with what you download on there because your mother and I don’t want you listening to inappropriate songs.”, Sheldon said.
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“ This doesn’t sound inappropriate Dad.”, Cayela said as she typed in the name of the Three Days Grace song in the searchbar in the ITunes store and when she found it she hit the little plus sign to add it to her music library.
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“ I know that but I meant the other songs that you look up on ITunes, Youtube or whatever it is that you have been doing behind our backs.”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ Have you and Mom been secretly looking at my playlist Dad?!”, Cayela asked in complete shock.
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“ Oh yes we have and we’ve seen the things you’ve downloaded some of which sound inappropriate for a girl your age to be listening to such as that Black Eyed Peas, E-TRAIN and Busta Rhymes Boom Boom Pow remix you played at NASA and that Fergie Glamorous remix with Lil’ Kim and Tiffany Foxx song that you downloaded. Did you really think your mother and I were clueless to those?”, Sheldon said with a smart aleck look on his face as he stared at his daughter.
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“ Oh come on, what’s the big deal?! It’s not like I’m singing those words! I know not to say that stuff because I would just get grounded for it!”, Cayela exclaimed as she threw her head back.
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“ Yes but you’re autistic and you don’t know what those words mean! They’re very inappropriate adult words that you don’t need to be saying and that you don’t even need to be hearing period! Someday when you’re an adult you can make your own decisions on what to say but right now you’re still a child and this is not the discussion I wish to be having at the moment!”, Sheldon said.
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You’re going down
You’re going down down
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You walk all over me
You never thought I’d be
The one who’s laughing now
Now that you’re going down
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“ Aww but I don’t want to get rid of the songs though! They sound cool.”, Cayela protested.
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“ Ok well how about this as a compromise, you go into your settings and see if you can find a setting that enables explicit content filtering and turn it on. That way it will sensor out the bad words so you can still keep the songs, does that sound fair?”, Sheldon said.
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“ Ok I’ll do it only because I don’t want to delete the songs.”, Cayela said as she went into her playlist settings on her phone and found a setting that her father was talking about and turned it on before putting her phone away..
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Take it down to the basement
You look around round round
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Then we sit there in silence
I watch you go down down down
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I feel like I’m flying
I’ve got my head in the clouds
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Never thought I was crazy
Until you came around…
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As the song continued Sheldon asked, “ Cayela did you do what I asked you to do?”
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“ Yes Dad I found the setting and I turned it on.”, Cayela said as she scratched the bridge of her nose and brushed her hair out of her face with her fingers.
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“ Thank you. We all love you very much no matter what even though we have said a million times that we understand it’s hard being a young teenage girl with Autism who doesn’t really understand certain things in a normal way sometimes and still needs to wear diapers everyday like an infant would but every quality you have is what makes you unique and different from everyone else and that’s a very beautiful thing. We just want what’s best for you because you’re very, even though I hate using this word, ‘ special’ and as much as we know this is very embarrassing for you we wouldn’t want you growing up any other way. You are absolutely perfect the way you are and I really hope you know that.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Thanks Dad I do.”, Cayela said with a smile as she looked out the window.
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“ Leonard what are you crying for?”, Sheldon asked when he looked over at his roommate/best friend and saw tears running down his face.
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“ Because Sheldon, it’s just touching to hear you say this stuff because you normally wouldn’t say things like this in a heartfelt way when it had started out just the two of us sharing that apartment, or if you did it was usually followed by a Bazinga or some other arrogant, self-centered remark against me or any of our friends!”, Leonard happily cried as he kept one hand on the wheel while brushing his tears away with a finger from his other hand.
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“ That is correct but what can I say? She’s my daughter and I love her. I love that I’m half of the reason why she’s in this world to begin with.”, Sheldon said.
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“ And that’s what makes me happy to know that there’s actually a side of you that makes you seem more normal and that you actually care about the ones around you instead of acting like this batcrap crazy, whackadoodle, emotionless robot guy all the time that everyone knows you as. And I think that is also one of the reasons why you and I have such a great friendship. We both have similar interests, we’re both brilliant scientists and even though at times we, excuse my language for a second, annoy the hell out of each other everyday with the things we do while still trying to follow the rules of The Roommate Agreement we always manage to find ways to put up with each other which is great for you because if I wasn’t as patient with you as I am you would have been dead a long time ago and I would be in jail.”, Leonard happily cried.
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“ And that’s why you’re my best friend good buddy Leonard.”, Sheldon said with a smile as he gently patted Leonard’s shoulder with his hand. Leonard’s tears subsided as they pulled into the parking lot of a local grocery store. As they entered the store and grabbed a shopping cart Cayela tried to climb on it with Florence just walking beside her but Sheldon scolded, “ Cayela do not climb on the cart! That’s not what it’s for!”
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“ Aww come on Dad! I’m just trying to have a little fun here!”, Cayela protested.
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“ Cayela your father said no! Please get off the cart! Now!”, Leonard scolded his goddaughter.
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“ Ok Uncle Leonard I’ll get down.”, Cayela let out a defeated sigh as she got off the shopping cart.
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“ Thank you. Now just walk with your best friend Florence, you don’t need to be hanging onto the cart. You’re 14 years old and your walking is not impaired by any means.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Ok, sorry Dad.”, Cayela said.
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“ Oh yay! Another cool song!”, Florence exclaimed as she was dancing like an idiot as Cayela walked beside her while Sheldon and Leonard were walking right next to them with Leonard pushing the cart. The song playing throughout the store was I Want You Back by *NSYNC.
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“ Florence what are you doing?”, Cayela asked as she stared at her best friend.
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“ What does it look like I’m doing Cayela? I’m dancing to this *NSYNC song that’s playing.”, Florence said as she continued to dance down the isle but then she stopped when she accidentally smacked her elbow against one of the shelves.
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“ Ow! That hurt!”, Florence shrieked as she rubbed her elbow.
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“ Ok this is exactly why you don’t do things like this in a grocery store. Just walk like a normal person Florence. I don’t want to have to scream at you and my daughter for not listening to Leonard and I.”, Sheldon said when he turned around to face her.
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“ Ok, sorry Dr. Cooper. I guess I got a little too crazy.”, Florence said.
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“ More like obnoxious. Now please stop doing that right now and just keep walking. If you don’t you’re going to be in big trouble. Is that clear?”, Sheldon said as he narrowed his eyes at her.
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“ Yes.”, Florence said.
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“ Thank you.”, Sheldon said as he continued walking. Florence stopped acting up and started walking beside Cayela again. But then a few minutes later Cayela suddenly stopped walking and bit her lip causing Sheldon, Leonard and Florence to stop walking too and stare at her.
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“ Cayela are you ok?”, Leonard asked.
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“ No.”, Cayela mumbled out as tears started to come down her face.
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“ Well what’s wrong bestie?”, Florence asked.
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“ I think I know. Hold on one second.”, Sheldon said as he walked over to Cayela and kneeled down in front of her to check her diaper.
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“ Just exactly as I suspected. Leonard do you mind staying in here with Florence for a moment while I take Cayela out to your car to change her in the back seat?”, Sheldon asked as he stood up.
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“ Oh not at all Sheldon. Go ahead.”, Leonard said.
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“ Thank you we shall be back in a moment. Come here sweetheart, let’s go out to the car.”, Sheldon said as he picked up Cayela into his arms. He carried Cayela out of the store to his best friend’s car and said, “ Ok let’s get your diaper bag first.” as he grabbed the bag off the floor of the passenger front seat before carrying Cayela around the back side of the car to the other side of the back seat and opened the door. He set the bag on the floor, took out the pad and laid it across the seat. Cayela started making noises and flapping her hand around as Sheldon laid her down across the seat. Her anxiety started to go up to the point where Sheldon started to get concerned that his daughter was going to end up hurting herself so after he rubbed his hand with Purell and slipped latex gloves on his hands he reached over, gently grabbed her wrist and said, “ Cayela stop flapping your hand like that. You’re just going to end up hitting yourself in the head and it’s going to hurt. Here, play with your phone instead.” as he reached into her pocket and handed her phone to her. Cayela did take it but she kept making noises and tried to pull away from her father’s grip so Sheldon said, “Shhh, calm down. I know you don’t like having this done in public but there’s nothing we can do. There’s no public restrooms in the store so you’re just going to have to suck it up for a few minutes, ok? Just relax and play with your phone.”
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“ Excuse me sir is there something going on here that I should be concerned about?”, an elderly woman suddenly asked Sheldon when she walked up behind him.
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“ Oh good Heavens no, this is just my 14 year old daughter. She has Autism and isn’t potty trained so I’m just changing her diaper.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Oh ok, I’m sorry I didn’t know what was going on here. It just looked a little shady to me at first.”, the woman apologetically said.
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“ Oh no problem. It’s always a good thing to be cautious and aware of everything going on around you.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Yes it is. Um this might be an odd question to ask, but, can your daughter speak?”, the woman asked.
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“ She can she just doesn’t like being changed in public when there’s other people around because it just makes her very anxious so she starts doing things like making noises and flapping her hand around like she’s doing right now.”, Sheldon said. He then turned to Cayela and said, “ Cayela Rachelle Fordyce-Cooper can you please stop doing that? You’re going to hurt herself and you’re not going to like it.”
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“ Oh that’s a beautiful name she has.”, the woman said with a smile.
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“ Oh thank you. My wife Leo and I thought so too when we conceived her.”, Sheldon said with a smile.
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“ You’re married?”, the woman asked.
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“ Yes she’s just at work right now, she’ll be back in a little while.”, Sheldon said.
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“ Dad can you please let go! You’re hurting my wrist!”, Cayela cried out as she was still trying to pull away from her father’s grip.
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“ I will let go but you need to calm down. The sooner you let me change your diaper the sooner we can go back into the store to find your Uncle Leonard and your best friend Florence, ok?”, Sheldon said.
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“ Ok.”, Cayela cried as she started to calm down and Sheldon released his grip.
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“ Ok well I got to go run my errands and get home before my husband starts flipping his lid at me. You have a nice day sir.”, the woman said before she started walking away with her cart.
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“ Thank you. You too.”, Sheldon said. Then once the woman was inside the store Sheldon thought, ‘ Ok that was just obnoxious and completely unexpected although I did appreciate the nice compliment she made about my daughter’s name. Now back to the task at hand.’ Cayela then started distracting herself from what her father was doing by doing a virtual puzzle on her phone which was enough to calm her down. Once Sheldon was done he cleaned up the mess, stripped the gloves off his hands and said, “ Alright we got one fresh clean diaper and a happy teenage girl, right?” as he picked her up looked at her with a smile on his face.
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“ Yes.”, Cayela said and nodded her head as a smile started to spread across her face.
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“ Daddy loves you very much, you know that right?”, Sheldon asked as he continued to smile at her.
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“ Yes I do and I love you too.”, Cayela said. Sheldon kissed her forehead and returned Cayela’s diaper bag back to the floor of the front passenger side before he said, “ Ok now let’s go back inside to find out where your Uncle Leonard and your best friend Florence are at.”
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“ Ok.”, Cayela said as Sheldon carried her back into the store. Once they met up with the other two they all finished their grocery shopping before driving home. But a few hours later the phone rings as Sheldon was working on his whiteboard and Leonard was at his desk on his laptop while the girls were hanging out in Cayela’s room.
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“ Good Lord, who’s calling us right now?”, Sheldon asked as he stared at Leonard who looked up from his laptop.
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“ I don’t know Sheldon. Let me go answer it.”, Leonard said as he got up from his desk and walked into the kitchen to pick up the phone.
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“ Hello?”, Leonard answered.
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“ Leonard it’s me Dakota! Have you and Sheldon heard from Leo yet?!”, Dakota asked her husband in a concerned voice.
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“ No we haven’t Dakota. Why do you ask?”, Leonard said in a confused voice.
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“ Because I tried to call her at least 9 or 10 times to tell her to come pick up from the gym and she’s not answering her phone, it keeps going straight to voicemail! I think something’s wrong because that’s not like Leo to not answer her phone or to not even have it ringing! I’m really worried that something bad might have happened to her!”, Dakota shrieked.
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“ What?! That doesn’t even make any sense Dakota! Devon’s dead floating around cyberspace so it can’t be him and Ramona’s in prison so it can’t be her so who else do you think would want to do something to her?!”, Leonard shrieked as he put the phone on speaker. This immediately caught Sheldon’s attention and his heart felt like it was going to skip right out of his chest the moment he heard what Leonard and Dakota were saying to each other. He began to think that something was wrong but he didn’t know what it was yet.
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“ I DON’T KNOW! THAT’S WHY I’M ASKING YOU! CAN YOU THINK OF ANYONE ELSE THAT WOULD WANT TO HURT HER?!”, Dakota screamed at her husband.
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“ Not off the top of my head that I can remember at the moment! Look before we jump to conclusions let’s just call Caltech and see what’s going on!”, Leonard shrieked.
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“ I already did that too you asthmatic dumbass and your boss said that she left about 20 minutes ago and was heading home! I don’t know who or what but something must have happened along that highway between the university and our apartment complex because I can’t a hold of her what so ever!”, Dakota screamed.
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“ Oh for God sakes this is a bad thing! A very bad thing!”, Leonard shrieked. As he started to pace the floor he shrieked, “ Think Hofstadter, who can you remember that also hates Leo?!” Sheldon thought for a minute before an instant light-bulb moment went off in his head. It became very clear to him who the person was that was responsible for his wife’s sudden disappearance.
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“ Oh I’m going to kill that cell tower contractor son of a bitch! He thinks he can kidnap my wife like that and get away with it?! I don’t think so! Y’all have tangled with the Texas bull now you low down punk!”, Sheldon interjected in a Texas twang as he did something that Leonard had never see him do before. Sheldon ripped his registered firearm out of his messenger bag, threw open the front door letting slam against the wall with a loud bang that sounded like a shot gun before he stormed out in anger into the hallway pointing his gun at the floor.
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“ What the hell did he just say?!”, Dakota screamed over the phone.
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“ I have no freaking idea!”, Leonard shrieked. As he listened to his best friend storming down the stairs he heard him shout in anger, “YOU’RE A DEAD MAN JOSHUA ACKWORTH WHEELER, YOU HEAR ME?! WHEN I FIND YOU I’M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!”
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“ Be ready for us ASAP Dakota! Bye!”, Leonard shrieked as he hung up on his wife. He then ran to Cayela’s room, threw open the door all out of breath and frantically said, “ Cayela, Florence, we need to go now!”
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“ Why?! What’s going on Uncle Leonard?!”, Cayela asked in a concerned voice.
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“ Yeah what the fudge is up Dr. Hofstadter?!”, Florence asked in a concerned voice as well.
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“ Ok firstly Florence do not ask me ‘ what the fudge?!’ like that and secondly I don’t want to scare you but your mother’s missing Cayela and we need to go find her!”, Leonard frantically said.
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“ Oh my God!”, Cayela shrieked as she threw on her shoes like The Flash and ran out of her room and out of the apartment screaming, “ MOM!” at the top of her voice.
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“ Hey, wait up Flash Jr.! Where are you going?!”, Florence screamed as she ran after her best friend. Leonard then rushed around the apartment grabbing his keys, his wallet and Cayela’s diaper bag. He sucked on his inhaler as he pulled the door shut and locked it before running after the girls down the stairs. Oreo meowed when she slowly came out of hiding inside the apartment wondering where her people went and what the heck just happened. Meanwhile 8 miles outside of Pasadena’s city limits in a remote area forest, Leo sat at the wheel of her car in fear as Joshua Wheeler sat next to her with a gun pointed at her head. His finger was sitting on the trigger of it and he looked like he really wanted to pull it.
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“ Ok… you got me here Wheeler, now what do you want?”, Leo fearfully asked as she slowly started taking her hands off the wheel.
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“ Shut up! Keep your hands on that wheel and don’t move!”, Wheeler angrily said as he inched the gun closer to her head.
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“ Ok… sure.”, Leo fearfully said as she placed her hands back on the steering wheel. The moment she felt a set of handcuffs latch around one of her wrists and the steering wheel itself is when she screamed, “ Ok what the hell are you doing to me?! Have you lost your radio frequency lovin’ mind?! You better let me go right now or I’m going to call someone to come get me!” But the second she picked up her phone and looked at the screen is when she saw the words No Service in the top left corner where her signal bars usually are.
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“ What the hell?! Why is there no reception?!”, Leo screamed as she dropped her phone on her lap. She looked over at Wheeler and he angrily said, “ I’m afraid that’s not going to help you Dr. Fordyce! You’re not calling anybody! You’ve been signal blocked!” as he held up a handheld signal blocker device that he had somehow gotten a hold of from the dark web. Darth Vader’s theme from The Star Wars movies started to play in the background as Leo’s face went white as a ghost. She knew that she was in some serious danger now and she felt like she was going to have another epileptic episode from the fear and shock she was going through.
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“ Oh sweet butterbees.”, Leo fearfully said as she looked back the windshield of her car and her body started to shake with tears streaming down her face.
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Author’s note: please note that I know that funeral home scenario was weird and it would be really rare for that to happen but I thought it was funny considering the fact that this is a comedy with weird strange things happening in it all the time and I thought it would fit well with it. Also, what do you think will happen next with crazy radio frequency lovin’ Wheeler?! Let me know in the comments. To be continued…
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