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「怎麼了,睡不著嗎?」113Please respect copyright.PENANAwZLsj1Vu41
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聽這鼻音濃厚的疑問,時予猜澄賢應該是被他吵醒的,不禁羞恥起來,而真相距離猜測尚有段差距,實則是快睡著了,結果在夢周公的路上被拽回來。113Please respect copyright.PENANA6W6ArTL3Gn
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不過,這老實說都差不多,況且眼下他只能顧著否認,「沒、沒有……」113Please respect copyright.PENANAgjonuevjJE
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如果說是因為想要才翻來覆去……也許交往好幾年後,能當情趣說吧,總之他目前是百口莫辯,只得侷促地回話,祈求澄賢別胡思亂想。113Please respect copyright.PENANAHfYueJ1Sza
113Please respect copyright.PENANAHFsLFh9CpJ
所幸他確實沒胡思亂想,多日夜讀下來,每每到床上時總是又累又睏,哪還有心力去想別的,至於身為男友的體貼溫柔還在,他挪動身子,伸手隔著棉被輕拍時予。113Please respect copyright.PENANA3zzCiQK7iW
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「沒事,我哄你睡覺。」打著哈欠說話,這是明擺著不信時予,卻也如時予所願,澄賢並無想去別處。113Please respect copyright.PENANACu0YsLBU2w
113Please respect copyright.PENANAzn3Bx9mJWL
見狀,時予在有氣無力的拍打下有些無奈,他哪需要拍拍呢,他需要的是來一發,奈何他自知這話能想不能說,講出去估計只會被澄賢鄙視。113Please respect copyright.PENANATkm5qElWgU
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工沙小。易地而處,假如換他聽到澄賢說這話,即便到頭來會接受,第一反應肯定也是懵、茫然、不敢置信,乃至覺得荒謬,Are You Serious?113Please respect copyright.PENANASkLc49dKmk
113Please respect copyright.PENANAscCUYPTrMm
思緒的發散稍微轉移了重心,並且澄賢雖說並非是對症下藥,起碼是保底能安撫人心的動作,時予試圖冷靜後,總算順利睡到了天明。113Please respect copyright.PENANAZdv6Ig11Cp
113Please respect copyright.PENANAWfzbGpjgFM
若要形容他當晚的處境,就開葷後常犯的小毛病,嘗過甜頭,漸漸對性產生更多渴望,何況人在感受到壓力時,著實有依賴性來紓壓的本能,致使他慾火難消。113Please respect copyright.PENANAHbohXIpmwY
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然而,時予本人是執意要忍,發情要看時間,他得藉此學習去跟小頭抗衡,而非慾望一來就縱慾,包括去廁所解決,一部份也歸於澄賢和他溝通過,他必須尊重澄賢的意願。113Please respect copyright.PENANABE4T5Xdlby
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起床後,縱使還心浮氣躁著,倒也能把控住了,和澄賢各自梳理完,便接續去應付即將到臨的期末,連帶把剩下的課給上過。113Please respect copyright.PENANAfFFkWAbGPZ
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說來奇妙,從前皆是他比澄賢早考完,如今這回會同時結束,十八周的禮拜六早上會考兩班的共同必修,以此為學期給劃下句點。113Please respect copyright.PENANANX7tq7QTJ9
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暑假正式來說,是六月尾放到八月底,九月一號開學,新生提早三天去參加新生營,在此之前,徐叔已經把租屋鑰匙給了六人,是開正門的,房間的則全都放在房內桌上。113Please respect copyright.PENANAfd9r8xbJ7U
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拿到時,就快搬去校外的實感瞬間倍增,從澄賢手中接過鑰匙那刻,時予同感雀躍之際,也憶起回家和父母討論時,予媽看著照片和影片,姣好的相貌給出讚賞。113Please respect copyright.PENANAWsVll9nqlS
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「這間房是你找的嗎?很不錯耶。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAvhxEEeFBWP
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「不是。」面對極為信任兒子能力而推論的推測,他連忙為功臣正名,「是……我男朋友找的。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAnl3QRER4bq
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此話一出,場面冷掉三分,哦——這樣子啊,予媽嘗試流暢地接話,事情敗露的當天,對時予而言是場無聲的暴風雨,順著話筒令澄賢心悸。113Please respect copyright.PENANAxpmanDHdq5
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面臨攸關命運的關卡,時予向後者保證,這件事他會處理好,畢竟責任歸屬……與其說誰錯誰沒錯,不如說蒼天捉弄人啦,唉。113Please respect copyright.PENANAcsvlPJcdP0
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而礙於鞭長莫及,澄賢也僅能全盤交託給他,其餘只剩顧好眼前事務的任務,周六,奮筆疾書完一走出考場,伊傑等人皆忙著返鄉,唯獨澄賢無所事事。113Please respect copyright.PENANAOYxcNeIT3W
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前幾天報備考試周行程時,澄賢從通話中聽說賢爸賢媽今晚又要跟誰誰誰吃飯,問他要不要一起,當然不要啊,於是就乾脆多留一晚,明天再回雲林吧。113Please respect copyright.PENANA1F29okDeQM
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由於暑假有開放暑修,因而宿舍在所有課的暑修上完前,不會趕人,體諒像沒租房的大一生,別校多半都拖上一年才補得了學分,交換條件是大家要更為謹慎,免得財物被無良人士給偷了。113Please respect copyright.PENANAiTgDAiEGi4
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這通常是還好,像自家人都要搬走了,行李都嘛是搬個精光,不留半點渣的,不搬走也頂多剩幾件衣服跟不痛不癢的物品,要偷還懶得偷呢。113Please respect copyright.PENANAkik7EYKU1U
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午餐過後,室友四人接連離去,時予原本也要走,先前聽澄賢表示要多待一日,他就跟著留了,不然一說掰掰,下次就八月中到下旬才見得到面,真不捨。113Please respect copyright.PENANAudwnzU9Qti
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澄賢聽言有趕他,前者早不因落單而感到孤單了,時予就趕快回去多休息吧,而且他還瑣事纏身,時予卻堅決要留在這。113Please respect copyright.PENANA0mz86P4fdL
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拗不贏他。算了,澄賢私心也想多跟時予待在一塊,聽著房門外人來來去去,吃晚飯前他來回逛了一圈,哇靠,頃刻間人去樓空耶。113Please respect copyright.PENANAvi5oiIL4Su
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會確定的原因,撇除己方這過半是面熟的,大概看得出情形,而另一邊那連總電源都關了,回首寒假時還留著兩三人,現今是完完全全,只餘你我的兩人世界耶。113Please respect copyright.PENANA2uetLEaaB2
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能壞壞了。澄賢暗自悸動,今夜該把時予推倒了,說實在,道別前不戰一場不合乎情侶準則齁……他憋很久了,腦袋邪念在了無拘束下徹底釋放。113Please respect copyright.PENANA3bkz1CUPvG
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開葷者症候群加一。後來,晚餐是去商圈好好地吃頓大餐,回到停車場時,顧及還得回房放安全帽,沒法直接按計畫走,以致澄賢是半路向時予提議的。113Please respect copyright.PENANA0Z1BFHUHpU
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「欸欸,我們晚點去到處晃晃好不好?」113Please respect copyright.PENANAOZBBZjA0hX
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在午後寧靜裡,感性細胞作動,澄賢一想到隔天一早,就要從此離開某些熟悉的環境,難免會感慨,他想再去看看,那些充滿回憶的地方。113Please respect copyright.PENANAsbs50nDb1h
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儘管風景如故,但一定有的、一定有什麼是銘刻在彼此心中的,哪怕是令人悲痛的過往,在倒數幾個小時的沙漏流光後,一切經歷都將要定格成過去。113Please respect copyright.PENANAb5xGnD3M4a
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這種感覺——就好像有說不出的某事、某物,默默地不見了,徒留人悵然若失。113Please respect copyright.PENANA9UyVvk7aBN
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他發起的這趟記憶之旅,時予不假思索地加入隊伍,小倆口在八點多出發,光走到宿舍外,就說起時予穿西裝那夜「狂放的行徑」。113Please respect copyright.PENANAdfyMEboHbF
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而後,是聖誕節前的拉扯、系館裡莫名交會的座椅區、雜草盤據的藝術學院,由內而外鉅細靡遺地巡過一遍,重回曾經發生事件的每一處,感觸的確都和當初不同了。113Please respect copyright.PENANA0iJz50CLX5
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就算其中幾處,之後也依舊會經過,就剛好現在能無憂無慮地逛嘛,他倆沒頭沒尾地聊著天,想說啥便說啥,不管前言搭不搭後語。113Please respect copyright.PENANAzK5GXh66VM
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「當時就不好意思拒絕你,反倒讓你得寸進尺耶。」「那我運氣很好。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAQk0UbCOdqN
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「遇見你的時候,我超尷尬的,然後你還走過來。」「我下意識就往你那走的。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAel2F7yhL9k
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「我就躲在那樹後面,被逼著聽完人家放閃,超慘的。」「乖。」113Please respect copyright.PENANA7TLUUSLdZV
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最終,他們踏出學校大門口,來到對面的公園,基於徐叔的屋子周遭也有公園的緣故,想必將來重返的機率會大大減少吧,指不定這就是最後一次。113Please respect copyright.PENANAY2WonKc3yZ
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放眼望去,草木隨風舞動,有幾位踩健身器材的老人跟帶著小孩玩沙坑的婦女在,反正不妨礙講話,間距也夠人說悄悄話了,因此澄賢依然是淡定地延續話頭,問時予問題。113Please respect copyright.PENANAXgCBFjW0qg
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「到這裡,你會先想起新生營那時,還是我跟你出櫃那晚呢?」「……」113Please respect copyright.PENANAyDDejTn3Xt
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時予並未作答,可沉默就等同於傾向默認選項,那稱得上最印象深刻的轉捩點,他不夠堅持,或澄賢到底都沒軟化態度,後續就全是虛無——113Please respect copyright.PENANA1cjKWblQ11
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那個男孩仍迷失在夜裡,偷偷地難過著。113Please respect copyright.PENANACsT4q0Fsr3
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「可以的話,希望我沒機會再來這了。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAXL9CzmkmEE
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聞言,時予朝著澄賢看去,不明白他所說的。113Please respect copyright.PENANAdnmR1Oqpuj
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「這跟我帶你去的私房景點一樣,大多都是發洩情緒用的。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAwUB3sVLJZf
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換言之,人不來,等於他平安無事,這固然最好,即使,他仍然會想像連假那般,以嶄新的面貌刷新此地的聯想,阻斷悲傷的連結。113Please respect copyright.PENANA6Y9AIg1rqv
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只是,這個念頭剛出現,就被掐斷了,澄賢不強求必定要來雪恥,那就成了束縛心臟的執念,順其自然即可,再說,絕對有其他方法能夠證明,證明他變得足夠強大。113Please respect copyright.PENANA5j3JUNTao8
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不再見景就傷情,脆弱不已,而是不得不隻身應對苦難時,也擁有抵抗下沉的底氣。113Please respect copyright.PENANApYkHsgnmbL
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「倘若那天來臨,籠中鳥就能獨自飛翔了吧。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAPKnEYd0Svo
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末尾這句話不說給時予,澄賢小聲呢喃著,寄託對往後的盼望,天空中,棉絮狀的雲朵像潮旋圍繞著月亮,卻掩蓋不住它的光芒,甚至穿透雲層,白銀輝映彷彿上天賜予的祝福。113Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0nMmjCYwS
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在孩童的嬉笑聲裡,他也釋然地笑了,回望時予以前,時予先趁沒人注意時摸他兩下頭,說出本身的看法。113Please respect copyright.PENANAraHZCxzusc
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「遲早會有那一天的。」113Please respect copyright.PENANA8EBDh1YBld
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終歸在時予建立的見解裡,澄賢始終是位符合自身所言的勇士,縱然在他眼裡,迄今都尚未達標,也總會成功的,時予無比確信。113Please respect copyright.PENANAuSYccfZNud
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已然數不清被鼓勵了幾遍,澄賢對此老是很高興,聽不膩耶,一方面心知是無數次的對話輪迴裡,他總讓時予接這類話,哈哈,罪魁禍首佔便宜佔得很順手。113Please respect copyright.PENANA3LFRNJYFmY
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誰叫他瘋狂多愁善感,時予除了激勵他、點醒他之外還能幹嘛,罵他嗎,真是抱歉……113Please respect copyright.PENANAEOp1zc71c8
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好啦,伴侶間總要相互支持的,立場對調時他再多為時予打氣就行,思及於此,心虛裡的心情終究隨之愉快著,澄賢朝時予嶄露笑顏。113Please respect copyright.PENANAS4FWxx5Kwh
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「時予,我很期待未來的日子哦。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAW4pZ7aB9sL
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關於同住後多采多姿的生活。無論又會遇到多少風波,抑是能一路和平共處,但他相信,是哪條路,都有辦法通往幸福吧。113Please respect copyright.PENANAm85iGhBnpm
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以往他可無法這麼樂觀,全多虧時予啊,他,就像是羅盤或指南針,充當迷霧中指引的燈塔,若非他強硬地闖入心牢,自己大抵還陷在爛泥裡,眼看海水淹過脖頸。113Please respect copyright.PENANAGcVdKX76Ir
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有了他,小船才能校正方向,往晴空萬里的蔚藍前去,所以想繼續拉住他的手,與他攜手走向那遙遠的終點。113Please respect copyright.PENANAueZFu7HuKN
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「以後……還請你多多關照。」113Please respect copyright.PENANAsC7MuhhmNX
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和新年的問候略有差異,那多是口頭上的恭維,這次是為了同居——真的會原形盡顯的狀況了,在宿舍裡不免因各種約束收斂習性,搬家後約莫就放飛自我了。113Please respect copyright.PENANAOr7ZtZ07hT
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屆時造成麻煩,請多包涵,要直白指出錯誤也行,瞧澄賢那期盼混著靦腆的模樣,可愛得時予心癢癢,想把路人全趕走去抱抱他。113Please respect copyright.PENANAuI9PLBErXZ
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「我才要請你多照顧。」113Please respect copyright.PENANArSythLSWhw
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從話裡聽出別種意涵,不只這兩年,更泛指著來日方長,便不用「也」而用「才」回應,有關這點,時予從未質疑過是否是想太多,他一直是那樣認為的。113Please respect copyright.PENANAzNYm0nQKtx
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就賭一把澄賢能否發覺他暗藏的玄機吧,他同樣懷揣著相同的嚮往。
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152.END
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【作者後記】
113Please respect copyright.PENANARZv0jchpdv
感覺這篇很適合當完結篇耶
還是我們乾脆在這裡完結
謝謝大家(X)
113Please respect copyright.PENANALxt4vcJ3r2
這回就是小小的回顧番
年輕人必備的感慨
下篇是暑假前最後一篇
故事剛開始也是暑假呢~
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