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Have you ever thought, "How did I turn out like this?" or "What went wrong"?251Please respect copyright.PENANAfM8Koq7YPf
Well, me too. Constantly.251Please respect copyright.PENANAE8uMRbBNBC
Most of the time, it boils down to how we were raised and spent our childhood, so here's my story - my story of how I became the selfish and mediocre person that I am today. On that note, if anyone wants to share their story, please feel free to comment a link or message me (I’m very intrigued).
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I was an only child until 2nd grade. My mother, who grew up without much, wanted me to experience and do everything she didn't. So unsurprisingly, I was brought up to be the best.
I was a good child. I did all the homework my mother gave me, played the piano countless hours a day, and went to soccer practice three times a week. I did countless things; dance lessons, swimming, table tennis, tennis, tuition, badminton, art classes... you name it. 251Please respect copyright.PENANAtfZhrAF9Qw
I was a nice child, too; whenever my parents got hurt, I would run to them and comfort them.251Please respect copyright.PENANA4RGwJ7FC00
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I don't know when it started.251Please respect copyright.PENANATetiO50PbX
"Hey, your child started screaming at mine when they didn't get first place on the math test."251Please respect copyright.PENANAV8e1KTXciW
"What's wrong with them?"251Please respect copyright.PENANAPn064ncwR0
"Even though they're hard to get along with, befriend them because it'll be good to have connections when you grow up."251Please respect copyright.PENANA0cbSYWnaVV
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I was a spiteful kid who didn't know right from wrong. I didn't know why no one would pair up with me when we worked together. When I saw someone get hit, I thought it was alright to hit others to get my way as well. When I saw someone having it better than me, anything, from a tastier lunch to an interesting book, I would complain. I didn't like the fact that I was working so hard and they seemed like they had everything (though obviously, that wasn't true; everyone goes through their own troubles, especially as kids).
Was I hit as a child? Yes, that was considered normal back in the day; ask anyone. Was I deathly afraid of my father and the fact that he could throw me away if I wasn't useful? Did I think that my parents would suddenly abandon me anytime? Yes. Looking back, all these things were red flags. Nevertheless, I grew up sheltered. Not having to worry about money or food, yet I was always greedy and jealous. So it was only appropriate that I always ate lunch alone. The friends I thought I had disliked me and tried to find passive-aggressive (or sometimes not so passive) ways to leave me out whenever they could - I mean, I don’t blame them because I would, too. But... stupid little 10-year-old me was still shocked when they told me that they were only friends with me because they were told to by their parents. 251Please respect copyright.PENANAQGjHr7mh97
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I loved to read manga and draw since I first discovered Naruto in the local library - except my parents were convinced these were evil comics inappropriate for children, so I could only read the novel version. I wanted to be an illustrator while growing up, but every time I read comics or drew, my father would yell at me to stop wasting time. Even now, I think it’s unrealistic and impractical to pursue arts or entertainment as a job, despite it being my passion. I was brought up to be against risk-taking, so it was funny how my family urged me to “take a risk” or “try this” - like when they coerced me to play basketball at a young age when I was afraid of hard balls- (lol)251Please respect copyright.PENANATl8mCDvbXn
My dad was the “Depressed? Just be happy! Scared? Get over it! Weak? Get disowned!” Sort of guy, so… (I picked it up from him.)251Please respect copyright.PENANAq2GmOZ88LM
Fast forward to middle school. Ah, the good old days when I wish I could forget everything I did then. Still unsure of how friends worked and left with trust issues, I rarely smiled. I would constantly say, "We're not friends," yet shamelessly ask everyone for food. People eventually got sick of my stuck-up attitude and fed the unknowing me scraps from the ground, though they were nice enough to 'fess up about it afterwards. Luckily, I wasn’t always alone as I was quite the addition to any games of tag, something-hunt, or any other sport, really.251Please respect copyright.PENANAfvR5tf0Dlo
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...I started cussing in middle school. Oh no, what if my super-religious parents find out? Well, they never did. Ah... here are a few of the cringiest things I did:251Please respect copyright.PENANA4XzoZMmTXm
- Fucking write a letter to two of the people I hung out with containing all my flaws, why I had trust issues, and a contract to be friends...251Please respect copyright.PENANAtyCUHFHhc3
- Bully one of the two people mentioned above to confess who they had a crush on (dude, why... that's not how that works...)251Please respect copyright.PENANA2Yf0G5TLrE
- DRESS LIKE SOME SORT OF RETARDED 2002 ANIME CHARACTER FOR MUFTI DAY
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- Yell at some kid (though we were the same age at the time lol) and say some very kind words about their mum when they lost my handball for the 3rd time, which I got made fun of because apparently, I had this weird karate-but-at-home stance...
The list is non-exhaustive. (I am thankful to two of my middle school friends who are still around, putting up with my bullshit mustn’t have been easy…) And, hey, surprise! Teachers never liked me either. You might be thinking, hey, you sound like the teacher's pet! Nope. They hated my cocky attitude and were somewhat racist... So, throughout middle school and the start of high school, I developed the mentality that everyone hated me.251Please respect copyright.PENANASRmC9GD9Jq
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Oh, by the way, despite what it sounds, middle school was a blast. Camps were fun, I participated in 1203871 extracurriculars as usual, and hanging out with... the two friends I mentioned earlier in one of my extracurriculars was hella fun... though it's starting to come back to me that there might have been some drama with a third and fourth addition to the gang... Man, we hated each other... though it seemed to me that they hated me for "no reason", I was the most un-self-aware person ever, despite my primary school buddies LISTING OUT ALL MY FLAWS AND ME WRITING THEM DOWN...251Please respect copyright.PENANALREtYE4m7m
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(to be continued... --> How my mischeviousness caused misunderstandings, a cringe story of the time I was shipped with someone, 13-year-old me and my superiority complex)251Please respect copyright.PENANAJtmKsyxqTN
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...Somehow this had turned from somewhat depressing to why in the hell was I such a cringe child. I was never taught social skills, alright??? I only learnt not to lie and stealing was bad.