BGM to listen to~
What does it mean... to be me? That's what identity is. What many young people are still discovering... and are blinded by what the media portrays.
TLDR? At least read the end where I answer the question... kind of.
You see, in these modern times, first world countries are obsessed with putting a label on themselves. Media is pushing across the idea of only thinking about ourselves, and putting the blame on others for the bad things that happens to us. I mean, I was a person who was wired to blame others in the first place, without the internet telling me, so I'd know. But luckily, I realised that the whole universe doesn't revolve around me, and I reckon a lot of people need to realise that too.
TW: If you're highly sensitive, I advise you not to read this. I am not aiming to discriminate or spread hate about any group, but only to hopefully steer some people back on the right path, or get people to think. Please do not read one or two sentences and take them out of context.
"You can be whoever you want to be."
"We all have freedom of speech."
"Respect everyone's gender identity, ethnicity and sexual orientation."
These are all very popular viewpoints in modern times. Right now, we're stuck in a world of "me first" and "victim mentality". At times, even speaking on behalf of another group of people that you don't belong in, and getting offended in their place. You see it all over. Americans being insulted by a man's "cultural garments", claiming it's "cultural appropriation", when the actual people belonging to the culture appreciate his clothes. People trying to convince an entire subgroup of people that they're victims, causing multiple people belonging in that group speaking out and explain that they are not victims, nor someone to be pitied.
Did you know, that if you're unstable in your identity, or you think you're not "normal", your perception of reality can be more distorted? Sure, there definitely are cases where people are discriminated against because of their identity or some other external factor, but many studies show that the way you perceive yourself affects the way others perceive you? It makes sense, right?
Several studies show this, one of the more interesting ones being that a group of people were issued scars on their faces via special effects makeup, but after being shown the scar on a mirror, they would be told it needed a final "touch up" but in reality, the scar was rubbed off. These people were then either taken to a digital interview, or something of the like. There are multiple studies on this, and all of them expressed the conclusion that despite there being no scar, the participants reported people "staring at their scar" and being mean/rude.
(sources: https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.39.5.861, https://scholarworks.bgsu.edu/pad/vol5/iss2/3/, https://www.aknowbrainer.com/dartmouth-scar-experiment)
This implies that if you have a negative perception of yourself, your defensive instincts will flare up and in turn, you instinctively think that people think negatively of you. This is the case with lonely people as well; some studies show that when you're chronically lonely, your brain is more receptive to social signals... while it gets worse at interpreting them correctly. Basically, you assume the worst of someone's intentions towards you. It makes you more self-centered to protect yourself.
(sources: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5985447/, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053811916305286?via%3Dihub, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18729619/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/cusp/201408/the-science-of-loneliness)
This is pretty much how a lot of people work, these days. Whether it's because of a bad experience with a group of people, suddenly, you become defensive and unintentionally (or intentionally) stereotype that group of people. That is, it doesn't even have to be a "bad experience". Multiple bias media that shows the worst of a certain group of people can lead you to think that way as well.
That's not to say that discrimination is all in your head. Of course, it happens. But because of this defensive mechanism that's linked to your feelings.... it might be overreported. That is, people can be way too sensitive. You've seen it, I've seen it.
Media tells you to respect someone's identity, but it doesn't really tell you to respect people themselves. As I've probably mentioned this before, people often assume a person is guilty until proven otherwise. Which really sucks! It's the opposite of Law in practice.
Just like the white woman yelling for help when a dark-skinned man grabbed her scooter, everyone immediately assumed she was wrong; she was a "Karen", and the scooter obviously belonged to the man. She faced massive backlash, and was even fired from her job as a nurse. But the thing is, her lawyer proved with receipts that the scooter was originally hers, and the man was indeed trying to take it from her. People need to stop assuming things so quickly. There's so much fake media that's woven together to fit a story that is completely false, or fake allegations against media stars just for the sake of bringing them down. Why must the internet be so quick to "cancel" when they basically have no solid proof? Why must everyone pick sides so quickly when no one really knows the full story?
The world doesn't revolve around me. I don't have the right to demand everyone to treat me specially just because I'm "different". That goes for most people as well. Don't be a bother.
And before you claim the world is out against you, or you find yourself incredibly offended by a little thing someone says, think, "why". People get so offended when someone doesn't "accept" or "infringes" on their identity.... but if you think about it, isn't that just because they're unstable? Or because their identity in themselves aren't solid? Look. If you're sure of yourself, then you won't care. You'll simply shrug off the comment, and correct them calmly. Let's aim to be like that.
We need to learn that the majority of people don't give a shit about you. They really don't. Unless you're going out of your way to disrupt them. So before you go off on them, please ask why you're so offended. And before you expect everyone to accept you (which will obviously never happen, there'll always be people who dislike you, and that's normal), accept yourself for who you are.
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSjyBtImvw
So, at the end of the day, who am I? Who are you?
Is the majority of my identity based on something fickle? Labels that don't mean much, gender, sexual identity, my achievements, success, money, respect, the validation of others... all these things can make up part of your identity, but these things can fall apart in an instant. Remove all that, and what's left?
Facts. My personality. My demographics.
I'm me. You're you. I don't need labels in order to fit in. I don't need other people to call me a certain thing. Sure, people make all sorts of assumptions about me based on my appearance or the way I act, but who cares? I can always correct them.
Be confident in YOU. Respect everyone. Have some common sense. Don't be so quick to blame. Have some basic manners and politeness. And when someone in front of you is in need, help them.
Just be a good human.
And I know this isn't easy. I myself base my identity on worldly success, and when something shakes it up - ie. I get a bad grade, get compared to younger people who've achieved a lot more than I have, failure to get a well-paying job - I get overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings. But I acknowledge it, and I'm working on it. But I try my best to be a good human, and I don't eagerly jump on the bandwagon to cancel someone. I don't actively speak out and get offended for an entire group of people I'm not even a part of.
And if you're still discovering your identity, please don't be swayed by some of the nonsense the internet spouts. Know the facts. You're just... you.
Of course, there's some terrible people out there who actively call people slurs and threaten people just because they identify as part of a certain group. I don't blame you if you wanna hit them. With a chair. But hey, that one influencer who said a slur 10 years ago for good fun because it was acceptable back then? Is it really worth bringing it up and claiming, "hey, this guy hates _____ and deserves to die!" I'm not saying it wasn't wrong.
Thanks for listening to my TED talk.
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Kw2Uta9Zr
