Sometimes, you wonder, how many people have had a crush on you?
Or... hmm, maybe the latter is too NSFW to write here. As much as it disgusts me to think about it, sometimes it pops up as an intrusive thought.
It's strange. No matter the gender, there's always a line where I start to feel uncomfortable around a person. One instance, for example, I was messing around with a friend in a small music room back in early high school days. Honestly I have no idea what in the hell we were doing, but we were sitting on each others' laps while playing the piano and laughing our asses off about it. Then suddenly, an uncomfortable feeling washed over me. It's hard to describe, but it's similar to that of mild disgust. (No ill feelings towards that friend, they're probably doing much better in life than me rn lol :'D)
If anyone has similar experiences, do share...
Ah right, confessions... hmmm... I've been asked out once and confessed to once, but I'm pretty sure I know others that had at least an interest in me.
Things like confessions, "like" and "love" are all foreign concepts to me. It's been romanticised in all media, but I don't think it's gotta be that great, right? I personally don't really know the difference between admiring someone, having a crush and just being overly interested in someone's life. After all, my curious nature has mislead quite a few people as having romantic feelings towards them.290Please respect copyright.PENANAdofYg6gkx6
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Then again, I do things with my friends that I don't think people normally do, which could easily be mistaken as romantic love. I don't really get how crushes work. Is it when you want to get to know a person more? When they're on your mind often? There are times where I talk to some friends so often that they're always on my mind, or they pop up in my dreams. I don't think I like them...290Please respect copyright.PENANA4dlFwi13sR
"Do you feel jealous if they started dating another person?" ...well, no, not really. I would feel kind of sad because that would mean we wouldn't spend as much time together and on the hobbies we have in common as they would be too busy with their lover. (I used to have a good friend - we had the most hilarious conversations - but they ghosted me as soon as they got a lover LOL bruh, c'mon, man...)
If anyone is actually reading this for I don't know what reason, please feel free to pour out your love life experiences so I can live through them get a better grasp on what it is...
....Ah, whatever. It's a pain to think about; I can't even keep a friend, much less any sort of deeper relationship.
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