[bgm music to read to]
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2I6bBJqW5
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0V0Vj1i7H
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9qp6SnMNg
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCObzUCUiW3
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFLYUpMXuL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8KSKg1oST
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuG25TeZEJq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TEdvPffVd
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT056Rs5Lki
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8veUwX4xm
But...482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpiKHMNoDL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnyCuGA83B
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnMk5o5XSq
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrrnoHaf69
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFnMpsmqhM
Is absolutely not pathetic.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu6ljzg1la
You're not garbage."482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH8neocACt
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mlsN7TdWo
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYd5wI70d8v
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj99wdOj4zv
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaffPuskUDP
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7Oad84pGo
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JAjFRmuuu
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA5pF9fjna
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXihjGZRM0
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LQ6BStMtF
Your son doesn't want to get married.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8k4h3TUjf
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFmVEu32SS
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8zeyN2bZR
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9BKyMpAUv
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuPvhl8rDA
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZNwuhchly
I'm scared of failing, so.
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn969Mqx98
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKy7Rdlv0Up
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aqEt35u4s
Sincerely,482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAmpfnbUZu
Your son Charlie.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbIMtZdSga
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFQxmJs9Vr
P.S. Screw you sis /j.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aJm64vAud
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ4e8XfmP9
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2OJ2jtU2R
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XZEV1JKCL
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqIJtiArWp
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
