[bgm music to read to]
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFZSrmAd2z
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuAQC65nqW
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRxb4Z6HMB
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnFl3xh5D7
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFuPAlvdaj
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSoTyp0R49
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDUHrh4P4f
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ8esi78mk
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJDCTWjZ58
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0230PB3AxY
But...486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04NGG4ZwoW
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAa10pEw7J
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhS4EMkFAw
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VpEHzyD6Z
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGzwVpLKj6
Is absolutely not pathetic.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUuxwUJY9N
You're not garbage."486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2DaIaunan
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6tEDUdqr7
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5X3u65u4D
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3Mru99d6X
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5qjwLuhHZ
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNXAHaBf2i
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzmqNxHSDT
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxnQnc36WB
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyyk57DfJ8
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmzrCeanRj
Your son doesn't want to get married.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8c0SlmL85
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpdNyhskZs
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IQt7enAyL
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4lPWXWL7R
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmSZ4aIayO
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4RzCOv2RZ
I'm scared of failing, so.
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKxA0Ot0Jmj
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSryV2rlkmq
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA7vfTGui6
Sincerely,486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO5cS4HaOz
Your son Charlie.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiE3qXwIv8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CeMeFedYo
P.S. Screw you sis /j.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvBWBiT9aB
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiJt77uBBT
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjGjtZrVxL
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYy6tL7HPf
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jIORF35N3
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
