[bgm music to read to]
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzRzrTrMoq
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2TC2W5K6l
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmpFHVqCCp
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysZ54UK4DS
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFtiG54e4u
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7jSRPXGaD
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNLm8wWz0m
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM7xGzYEva
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxJogTsvvi
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeB15nZ4g1
But...487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn51jeOUnkq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi4O7DfBUC
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZSa9rNmFG
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcFj0SN4pl
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRo5345h6n
Is absolutely not pathetic.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkxJfAkxBi
You're not garbage."487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjckWJF3Z7N
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1kSmJUFDj
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraoV41Y1Pa
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF5fqlN58R
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FFXvvPilf
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ss902WmyL
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgoqRhrSnN
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjmigr5gVW
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosZjvttq2w
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwSku6efqb
Your son doesn't want to get married.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wsAwPAaZB
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJPPbfwloK
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qv3lD3Om3
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleGNJq3OqI
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGA6bIa37Uw
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZRdXdDWVm
I'm scared of failing, so.
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKE8X01VdEj
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6H0MR6PRV
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaORGHZWlcE
Sincerely,487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzGcBCFGsR
Your son Charlie.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1oZ5nDCLf
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbqBVflJSa
P.S. Screw you sis /j.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdSNdgssHq
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRD71F8xJx
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HrCKCcLHG
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TPHI5fCuh
487Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMAwtTHKjH
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
