[bgm music to read to]
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0OUs4wTiZ
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOGBTBVtUM
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TYpdZhhG3
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlKmQFhDP6
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFO7UvhIch
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"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3ZqZHcXbF
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"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CLbVYhLrk
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But...344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUEuS0Ho3D
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"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWivV3kqhJu
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq36DXbRk1p
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCGRPiDpbm
Is absolutely not pathetic.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4LEXuTe2f
You're not garbage."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8neOQm4ILj
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"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqlzZTKobL
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5ti5I9I7z
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I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaJ7E3I9zN
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Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfidZyZHTYC
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4CnDvluKY
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2iX51McGU
Your son doesn't want to get married.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPtmHRMRCR
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZYsOrEQDl
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You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipb56fxoA4
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTEnhPXt5I
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8J1wM0Ag2E
I'm scared of failing, so.
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But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZBWYQJNbO
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Sincerely,344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4Cc8mVi3D
Your son Charlie.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiw1NFH5db
344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfLwOEw7z4
P.S. Screw you sis /j.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGo8jvAvHb
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[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMbg640lMR
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.344Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTElh2ahKr5
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My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
