[bgm music to read to]
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jodrtnKcK
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvf7BIv10T
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtaRiienDz
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYPB5dcq0W
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYFd7cm6py
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlXHQ17OVX
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNM5QRVdHK
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIQRIzhVsb
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTG21TG615
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIgeFiH1Vx
But...478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjelOyUFND0
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWzFqNCOm0
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamzICcM44q
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nAYvbNdER
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMhr6YoNdP
Is absolutely not pathetic.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq55vDqUd6C
You're not garbage."478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUddzPbOTMn
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgzP5DTJ9x
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgyPdaLUqX
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13KIC64zSu
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vtTyI6WJ3
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ626Z1natEv
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeOOlqKBnq
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOIAYwFKs5
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TwhTOGFOL
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNfQle5BRA
Your son doesn't want to get married.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQz4UPuQAxA
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHu6emKLQb
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CqRpSiCg1
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUT7si302K
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQjQjwTYzD
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5dns2v9M2
I'm scared of failing, so.
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlkXLAbT7q
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jn1kTzY59
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZuNbfVE40
Sincerely,478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7XDhvnosr
Your son Charlie.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbb7Jretb1l
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpbDx2kQNz
P.S. Screw you sis /j.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9l7D2zyp6
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLaY8Gcg3A
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OaDeSvQpO
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoxgEXqArX
478Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOaYV45QnD
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
