[bgm music to read to]
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlVAslwpLz
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtVOsJm9MF
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBpqWf2icj
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkOYFeULVy
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySv5zNbaLg
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM0UD3EFem
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9xVxdK8Sx
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz1V1U16kM
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ8jO2nEks
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzVbarLuKQ
But...405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjku6ti4YD
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqh2KEhpCj
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUIeF9gLBL
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡno99P2rLJs
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFNZNRqwYs
Is absolutely not pathetic.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlmcwkZY3J
You're not garbage."405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsJag2yRg2
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLaHx60SIz
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuplbaHFAq2
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81ILnb4qHQ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHKxvYfBQ0
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGupO5Xhg9L
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun3fVlJjP5
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM1aCE9VHC
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs7f2eGbHB
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxweeR9dXn
Your son doesn't want to get married.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFwhSXB6Ll
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj8NCUwdFs
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzilyfYlIOI
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiiadFT9zk
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpX0DLdBm3y
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIYPdUZtUk
I'm scared of failing, so.
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft22o7uTZ4
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZfqIZbZN2
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYEJPIwJbH
Sincerely,405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZZolTdOMN
Your son Charlie.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE3oEmRJIA
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyDHYwH0zb
P.S. Screw you sis /j.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbWZmawaBH
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hq1kXxi0C
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKqyIrfq86
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvfkhtmZeh
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5KHr00EWn
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
