Ah, it's job-hunting season. Time to fake your passion towards your work and squeeze out the talents you might have that blend in with 1293872 other applicants.
Sometimes, I wish they would let you in based on your flaws. If there was a sort of resume that only listed people's flaws, that would be great...
So I'll create mine here.
Hi, Charlie here. I'd love to get hired to this average-paying-coporate-job-that-I-have-no-personal-interest-in.
Not only will I be extremely unmotivated to do any work outside work hours unless a deadline is near, my time management is as bad as it can get, and my stress-coping mechanism is procrastination, which leads to more stress, which leads to more procrastination. My GPA is… average, and I have a huge ego, pride and complex such that I can't stand being looked down on. I hate being useless and humiliated. Ah, that doesn't mean I'm hard to get along with; on the contrary, I'm quite approachable and talkative. I also can’t take a hint so I’ll talk until your ears break, then regret my actions and ignore you for a month. If I'm in a group of people that are all friends with each other, then you can count on me talking with my imaginary waifu in the corner.
But you'll soon find me drawing manga in work in the office than finishing that report that's due in two days.
Bringing up controversial topics to discuss, beware if you're sensitive and easily offended. Who doesn't love a good sip of hot... or cold tea?
I'm also often lost in my own world, so if you want someone with attention to environment and detail, I'm not the one for you. Sorry if I ignored you; that wasn't on purpose. Probably.
I get things fairly quickly, unless you're crap at explaining, which is most of the population, including me. I'll also tune out any technical conversation after 10 seconds because my attention span is as short as your coc-
Excuse me for asking 118328 questions because not only did you suck at explaining, I also missed every 2nd word you said.
Please hire me.
Kind Regards,314Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKju3KynK0Z
Charlie
314Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7HwvGw64c
