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It's been a while since my final two exams, but I couldn't bring myself to write about it. The past few days, I've just been doing nothing, watching Gintama, binging useless videos... some pretty interesting ones too though.
The final week was a stressful week. As per usual, I couldn’t bring myself to study for my exams until the last two days. This was a very, very bad idea, because not only do I have two exams in one day, but one of those exams was for a notoriously hard paper that had a failing rate of 40%. But because it was so difficult, I couldn't find the motivation to start.
So I stressed for two days, and barely managed to go over the content. Even though I went through the basics, I didn't have time to go through the long answer past exam questions... which would eventually lead to my doom. You need an average of 50% on the exam and test to pass, as well as at least 50% on the assignments. I don't know if my exam got 50%. I really hope I passed. No way am I retaking that paper for the third time. I don't want my GPA to fall any further; jobs are already hard to get as is. I really should have applied for jobs early. But... I'm so tired of lying. I'm so tired to find ANY good things that I have to say about my major, and my skills. Maybe because of that, all the remote digital "interviews" I did, I pretty much screwed up. I did a lot better when I was looking for an internship.
So yeah. I got my results for the other examination back. I only studied for two hours on that paper, but I thought the questions were pretty reasonable. I thought I did alright. But the results were pretty bad. And the thing is, they don't tell you what you did wrong. You don't get your papers back or anything. Oh, btw, these were in person exams.
It really sucked. I wanted at least an A+ on that, because it was an easy paper, but my exam brought my mark down to A. So much for my GPA... the first time in a while I haven't gotten a "certificate of distinction" for my papers on that subject... F.
Anyhow, it was all over. Now I'm just left being badgered by my parents to find a job. It feels... empty, as always. This is the first time I've even touched my laptop in a week. Because I lack motivation all over again. I realised I've been added to a "high school group" on instagram, so I stalked a few of the people I knew there. They seemed like they were having the time of their life in university. Going to parties, balls, events... hahaha. All I did was procrastinate, stress, and do assignments. And in the end, my grades aren't even that high.
To top things off, a lot of my friends have suddenly found partners. It's a real common thing in university. I don't have an interest in relationships, but at times, the hype and the fact people ask you about it makes me just want to find a lover just for the sake of "having a lover". Though that's not how it's supposed to work. Well, it's not like I've never been asked out throughout my time at university. But that'll be another story for much, much later.
Anyhow, what should I be doing now? I just want to sleep, and eat good food. I have the urge to eat dango, maybe I'll conjure up a batch sometime... with a recipe for Chinese ice-skin mooncakes lol.
Musn't be fun reading someone complain, huh? Well... the next two entries would be about what I found during my time doing nothing these few days... and boy.
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