[bgm music to read to]
266Please respect copyright.PENANAtGJJluyShD
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...266Please respect copyright.PENANAOUSBDhLgSU
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...266Please respect copyright.PENANAqJEAUMLHgF
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.266Please respect copyright.PENANA1lXLk0GOTA
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."266Please respect copyright.PENANALIwuHwSDIB
266Please respect copyright.PENANAEhzILlXtkV
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."266Please respect copyright.PENANACO2bOB03ei
266Please respect copyright.PENANAtYHHP1NrH6
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 266Please respect copyright.PENANAI6zldbN0Oj
266Please respect copyright.PENANA3lZ4qQ1A1Q
But...266Please respect copyright.PENANAoQpHntLD97
266Please respect copyright.PENANAWzEHrTBbdh
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 266Please respect copyright.PENANAv2uOwqi6fo
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 266Please respect copyright.PENANARcwiT3b2eM
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...266Please respect copyright.PENANAa8rlKsOrlx
Is absolutely not pathetic.266Please respect copyright.PENANAw43e98x2vW
You're not garbage."266Please respect copyright.PENANAKiTiMhfqxZ
266Please respect copyright.PENANAALC7x9sQel
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?266Please respect copyright.PENANAh1YpehhdZm
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."266Please respect copyright.PENANAETkdce45s6
266Please respect copyright.PENANA78DgEpO2RC
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...266Please respect copyright.PENANAzpzSLgd0KL
266Please respect copyright.PENANA3LkMjPCc8E
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?266Please respect copyright.PENANAGR9tIsazru
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 266Please respect copyright.PENANAmglagK7Sij
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.266Please respect copyright.PENANAjUZAeiVili
Your son doesn't want to get married.266Please respect copyright.PENANAmG75B8F9wR
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.266Please respect copyright.PENANAJEWzAqAHa2
266Please respect copyright.PENANA3zTWVQHCWV
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.266Please respect copyright.PENANAk2KTR51KKH
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 266Please respect copyright.PENANAPtWxpd4ezG
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.266Please respect copyright.PENANARVAFfaLWpj
I'm scared of failing, so.
266Please respect copyright.PENANAUtNkIjjQu9
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.266Please respect copyright.PENANAhpSLciukGD
266Please respect copyright.PENANA1tgUqdSISn
Sincerely,266Please respect copyright.PENANAH4wtko8ZKE
Your son Charlie.266Please respect copyright.PENANARmrKnHrZxP
266Please respect copyright.PENANAUqPBJM8H38
P.S. Screw you sis /j.266Please respect copyright.PENANA6aOfsm5dHL
266Please respect copyright.PENANAGetvW0SluE
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]266Please respect copyright.PENANAHWBfWvLyWM
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.266Please respect copyright.PENANANJH5DhM72Q
266Please respect copyright.PENANAmvS2DNDbgH
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.