In fact I felt somehow happy that Williams instantly turned mad seeing us both like that. What he would have done immediately if he retained his sense then I cannot say. No son should face such a situation which my son faced on that day. Who can tolerate if he knows that his mother is having illicit affair with a guy that too with a servant in their home?
But Williams being turned out like that caused full distress to me. Even however much I did wish him to get his senses back, I have immense fear also in my heart that he might remember what he has seen in that palace on that day. I want him come back to his senses but I did not want him to remember what he had seen in that palace. In BAMC when I have learnt that Williams has been put in the hands of that beautiful psychiatrist Rose I felt so much happy and fear at the same time. I felt so much confident that she could make my son to come to his senses but felt fear that she would make him remember what he has seen in that old house.” Rose once again stopped and said “You see, my mother in law has confidence in me from the beginning!”
“That is not a big thing! Everyone will be influenced by your charming personality and feels that you are capable. Please go on.” Without opening his eyes Williams said.
“It is just like that psychiatrist Rose understood my problem, she could make my son to get his senses back but not to remember what he has seen between me and that bastard Stuart. I have not felt bad much as he could not remember anything prior to his coming to his senses. What all I wanted is Williams have to become his usual self, even he has remembered everything of his past should not remember the sexual affair he had seen between me and that Stuart.
When I have been advised that Williams should be in the care of a psychiatrist, I got the idea to make that psychiatrist Rose herself my daughter in law. I have been impressed a lot by looking at her at the first time itself. I remembered my own self at that age and I thought she would have been not just a good psychiatrist but a good wife also to my son if I made her my daughter in law.” Rose could not remain without pausing and saying again looking into the face of Williams. “Hear, hear what a good opinion my mother in law has on me?”
“You have proved it just right Dr.Rose” Williams also sat on the bed. “You said that we have to complete this book on this day. So there should be no more interruptions. Just go on.”
“Alright, alright.” After hearing that so Rose once again put herself into reading of that book “It is just as I have expected! Rose has been proved as a good wife to my son and there was improvement also in his psychological health. When Rose said to me that Williams can remember everything of his past, I felt very much fear. I just could not ask Rose to see that he would not remember his past forever.
Time is going by just like that and I came to know that Williams was struggling to remember his past. I heard just yesterday night the conversation between Rose and her sister that Rose wanted to put Williams under hypnosis to make him remember that particular incident of that day as by doing so she is thinking that she can relieve him from his distress. But she did not know what a big shock it would be to him if he remembers. Even she decides to do such a big thing to Williams, she did not prefer to say that to me. Even I did not hear the conversation between her sister and herself fully, I could understand that she is guessing that I have some role in Williams’ turning out mad like that.
I am not feeling bad that Rose has not told me about the experiment she is going to make with Williams. I am not worrying anymore that the truth would be exposed to the world like that. But I am worrying very much about my children thinking what type of effect the knowledge of my illicit intimacy with a servant in the house would have. But I know that sooner or later it has to come into their knowledge and better it would be as soon as possible. I came to a decision and determination. This is the last time I am writing this and I hope and wish to god that it should be found by my children. If I can do in the way I am thinking, there will be no Staurt or Margaret anymore in future. I know that Stuart would come here sooner or later and he would not return from here alive.” Rose paused and sighed heavily. “There is only one last paragraph in this book Will.”
“Why the delay, read that also?” with gathered frowns Williams said.
“I am afraid you may become emotional if I read this.” With an uneasy expression in her face Rose said.
“Just read that out Rose. I did not become emotional yet hearing all that you read. I am not going to become emotional just by hearing a small piece of writing. Go on please.” With the same modulation in his voice Williams said but his heart beat has quickened. He knew very well that his mother has written that last paragraph in that book just before her death.
“As you said” Rose adjusted his throat and started reading again. “There is a premonition in me for a long time that I have to face a day like this in my life. A day after which I would have no life. Even I have married to that rogue Stuart and remained as his wife also till this moment, I think and feel my real love is only Raja Prathap. Even it is against my wish and will, I have to cheat Raja Prathap and for which I never forgive myself. I never ask god also to forgive me. My dear son, Williams, I know sooner or later you can get hold of this book and go through it. I never ask you to forgive me for what I did. If we change our places and I were in your place, I never forgive a mother like me who did it like that. Hate me all your life it may give me peace indeed but because of that don’t ruin yourself, don’t punish yourself, don’t become mentally upset again. The one thing I cannot bear at all is that you are feeling bad for anything. This is one of the two things I want to ask you. The other thing is; I know it is very difficult to you to love your sister once you know that she is not the daughter of your father. But she is innocent of that fault. She did not even know the illicit sexual affair between me and that rogue Stuart. I wish and hope that you do continue your loving relationship with your sister in the same way. I think Jasmine also read this book once it has been found. I know that she also would be affected just like you after her coming to know about it and I am sure that Dr.Rose can make it out on tomorrow. Jasmine, my dear girl, you also don’t excuse your mother. Your mother is a bad mother. But just remember one thing! Don’t upset mentally yourself or torture yourself all the time thinking about me. I wish that you also should live a happy life all the time. If you and your brother both live happily, however much anger and hate you both have on me, my soul will be peaceful wherever it is.
Always yours lovingly,
Margaret
Rose closed the book and put it aside before looking into the face of Williams. “You gave me the word that you would not become emotional, just remember.” Rose said.
“No, I am not becoming emotional.” Williams said and sighed heavily. “I must say after knowing the story of my mother completely, my perception of her changed. She has to do bad things but she is not bad! What you have said is true Rose, my mom has a character! She has will power and courage! I easily can understand how much torture she has undergone.”
“Oh, Williams! What a nice thing you said!” Rose hugged him strongly and kissed on his both cheeks perfunctorily. “I thought that there would be some change in you after hearing this but never have expected this much. I am really very much happy now.” She exclaimed.
“This not at all means that I never would become violent.” Suddenly with a cautious expression in his face Williams said. “I just don’t know why sometimes I am behaving like that and there always may be such danger. What really is causing such emotion in me I just cannot understand!”
“Don’t worry about that at all. Your psychiatrist wife will always be with you to save you in such situations.” she kissed on his right cheek again after saying that.
Then it has begun between them with vehemence! So much surprisingly sudden urge started in between them both and they both felt fear that they could not be satisfied easily. All the time it was Swaroop in the hands of Rose and Liza in the hands of Williams and it was just their unintentional imagination. Even after having oral sex also they could not be felt satisfied hundred percent! Why that much of sexual urge in between them both, they could not understand.
To Rose, there was one answer to that question for why they have been feeling that much unnatural and unusual sexual urge but she was not ready to agree with it at all.
***
When Rose woke up early in the morning, she not only found her own naked body without a shred of clothing but the book also rumpled under them. She got off from the bed and dressed herself fully before putting once again that book in the draw of the table there. Then she looked at Williams and he was also without any clothing on his body as it was the habit of them both to have sex completely nude. He was sleeping turned to his right side and she did not know what dream he was having then but his penis was erected to full. She went near to him and covered him with a blanket fully. There was still time to them to wake up from their usual waking up time. She suppressed a yawn with the back of her right hand and wanted to sleep some more time but then she heard the weeping of her daughter. She hastily went near to her and made her daughter turned on the right side and patted her until she slipped into sleep. In the middle of the night also Emily woke up and troubled Rose a long time to slip into sleep but this time she went into sleep immediately.
By then she has lost all the mood to sleep anymore and put herself into daily routine and by the time it was finished the time was six in the morning. Then she remembered the book of Charles and wanted to read it some more. She found Williams sleeping peacefully while she was picking her cell phone from that room and then she straight came into the hall along with it. She slumped in the chair in the hall and opened Charles’ ebook to read. She has forgotten upto where she read it and in that app there was no facility to provide it from the point upto where she read it. While she was struggling to remember where she has stopped last time there was a phone call and it was Nalini.
(……….to be continued)
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