“You yourself don’t indulge in sexual imagination or thinking. But that imagination or thinking all by itself invade into your mind, don’t bother. Don’t try to force them out from your mind and at the same time don’t try to observe them particularly either. Just leave them on their own and put yourself on something reading, writing or watching. If there is nothing you can do, just remain calm letting those thoughts and imagination taking a whirlwind tour of your mind. ”
“Even I don’t observe them particularly, they sure do come to my notice and make me suffer. It happens like that even while I put myself engaged in something.” Frowns gathered on the forehead of Someswar.
Rose leaned back again in the chair and her laughter was once again mellifluous to him. “You guessed it right! It just happens like that. But you have to find something important here.” She paused for a moment before saying again. “If thoughts and imagination came into your notice all by themselves, it is ‘noticing’. There is no problem! Just tell yourself strongly that you are not doing that thinking ant it is just unintentional. But don’t put yourself particularly to think like that or imagine. That is enough!”
“I think I understood what you have said.”
“You understood what I have said. But you are not feeling confident that it works. Just try one month in the way I said and I already promised you what I do.”
“Okay doctor. I sure do in the way you said and meet you after one month.” Someswar got off from the chair and there was confidence in his face.
“It sure does work for you.” With her charming smile on her lips, Rose also got off from the chair.
Then she came out of her chamber along with Someswar to verify with one of her in patients before attending on the next schedule patient.
***
“I am not a completely successful business man yet but doing well. I am confident that I can be quite successful and rich before long. It is a business inherited from my dad but collapsed fully by the time came into my hand.” Yamuna still could remember the glow in Viswanadh when he met her in her house on that day “if you have any objection, please let me know about it now itself.”
She would have no objection whatsoever if Madhukar was not in her heart by that time. They were in love with each other for a long time till date and if he has not been forced to marry someone else they both would have been man and wife by now! There was no mistake on the part of Madhukar also as his uncle who helped him study medicine did not leave him until he agreed to marry his daughter. Even then too she did not want to marry anyone else but the force of her parents has become too much for her and she has to agree to marry and after her agreeing so, Viswanadh was the third person she saw. Viswanadh was not only handsome but educated, intelligent and doing good business also.
“I have no objection to become your wife.” Yamuna was trying hard not to show her inner feelings on her face and forced a smile onto her lips.
After saying that; she looked into the faces of her parents who were just behind her and found sudden relaxation in their expressions. Not just they were not in a position to perform her marriage by spending money but in dire need of the same for other necessities also. So far by their observation of Viswanadh, they understood one thing! If their daughter married that gentleman, they not only could discharge one of their main obligations but certainly could get help from him to fulfil their other obligations also.
Once it was clear to her that there was no way at all to marry Madhukar, she thought it would be better to marry Viswanadh and as Viswanadh as well was eagerly looking for a partner, it did not take much time to their marriage to take place.
“You are a doctor! I am not. Do you have any feeling for that?” on the first night of them, after some usual talking in between them both, he asked her.
“Why you are thinking I do have any such type of feeling?” she knitted her brows together.
“Generally doctors do want to marry doctors as it will convenient to them to do practice whereas I am a businessman.” There was a sudden worrying expression in his face.
“You managed a clinic also for me and understood me more than a doctor can do. Living along with you is more comfortable than anyone else in the whole world” she put her both hands around his neck and kissed on his lips straight.
She kissed him for the first time like that and she kissed Madhukar also in the same way when they last met. It was true that in a corner of her heart there was still Madhukar but so far her knowledge that she became the wife of another person whether willingly or unwillingly and the help he did to her family already forced her to pretend happiness and joy with him. Many a time she wanted to tell him about her love episode with Madhukar but something deep inside of her warned her not to do so. One thing she felt different at Viswanadh with Madhukar was sex! She could not know that a soft and handsome personality like Viswanadh could be vigorous and vehement in sex but while they were doing that she even has forgotten about Madhukar and enjoyed it with Viswanadh.
Three years or so have passed. She would have changed in other aspects also and could become completely to Viswanadh but an incident which she did not expect at all has taken place. Madhkar’s wife was died and he has become all alone. She met with him and talked with him, he became very much depressive but did not agree to marry again,.
“I married Latha only out of compulsion. My feeling is only on you all the time. It is impossible to me to marry again and live with another woman while you are full of my heart. The hell I have gone through living along with Latha till now is enough.” Madhukar’s voice was firm.
Then, all the love she has felt for Madhukar at one time suddenly came onto the surface in her and she came to an instant decision and expressed that to him.
“I don’t know what you are talking! Now you are not only a married woman but have a one year or so aged child. How you can manage to come to me now?” his voice and face were with full of shock and surprise when he heard her decision.
“Just like you my marriage with Viswanadh also out of compulsion. Just like you I also never have lived wholehearted with him. I am also feeling it like hell living with him without love on him. I am thinking it is better that we do marry each other now.”
“Did you say about our love to Viswanadh?”
“No, I never did.” She nodded her head in negation. “I have been just a faithful, loyal wife to him till now.”
“How it affects him then? How he can understand and digest if his loving wife leaving him suddenly like this?” there was anxiousness in the face of Madhukar.
“Viswanadh is a very understanding personality and if I explain everything to him in detail, he understands and agrees.” She said “But I think he insists that I give his daughter to him. His daughter is a most precious thing to him, he loves her and likes her a lot. That is the only fear to me.”
“But without you how can he look after her?” there was still anxiousness in the face of Madhukar. “Moreover a one year aged daughter needs her mother a lot.”
“Viswanadh is very much rich and he can get a wonderful wife to himself and mother to his daughter in no time after our divorce. Anyhow I am not going to leave my daughter completely like that. Just try to understand. We both cannot suffer like this all our lives living separately.”
“I don’t know what to say.” With a helpless expression in his face Madhukar said. “I always feel so happy to live with you again but I don’t like making a nice man worry for it.”
“I too don’t like that. To be frank he helped our family also a lot. In fact it is I who have to feel more for this.” She sighed heavily. “I took the decision Madhu. We are going to be the man and wife soon and you just be prepared for it.”
But then she did not prepare for his hug and kisses all over her face and both of them had it in his house after a long time. Even after such a strong determination to live along with him again, one thing made her deeply dissatisfied! Madhukar was not even half in doing sex to her. But it was not just sex which made a woman to live with a man.
There was deep shock and sorrow in Viswanadh when she explained to him about her love with Madhukar and the rest and her decision to live along with him. Despite deep sorrow and distress, he agreed to her decision also, it was also she expected. As she expected, he insisted to leave Prameela with him and put a strong condition along with it.
“You should never try to make contact either with me or my daughter. From this moment there should be no sort of relationship with you to both of us.” He was very much angry and she could understand that.
“But Viswa, try to understand! She is just a one year aged daughter and needs her mother a lot. No one can replace my place.” She expected this also but started trying to make him understand.
“I can manage and you don’t bother about.” His voice was with the same firmness. “Once you go away from us both, I just don’t want you in our lives again. That is all.”
It was very much distressing to her to leave her loveliest daughter Prameela at him so but with a fond hope there would come change in him, she divorced him and married Madhukar. Her expectation in that regard also did not go wrong. After four months or so of her divorce, Viswanadh phoned to her.
“Will you please come and see your daughter? She is very much worrying for you.”
“I sure do come. Don’t worry.”
She knew unless Prameela was too much feeling for her Viswanadh would not have thought about her at all. She shocked seeing Prameela with high fever and bedridden!
“It is my mistake! I should have understood. She cannot forget about you at all.”
Yamuna did not try to look into his face as she knew it was her mistake mainly. But with her association and as she was a doctor also, it did not take much time to Prameela to recover.
(……….to be continued)
(I hope you enjoyed it so far. Please don’t forget to rate and review it. I update the next chapter as early as possible.)
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