Charita nodded her head with the same smile on her lips.
“Anyhow Charita, tell me one thing! Are you living along with that guy now?” looking keenly into the face of Charita, Rose asked her.
“No, I am not.” Nodding her head in negation Charita said. “I cannot bear even the presence of him. I am living in the house of my parents.”
“I understand!” Rose nodded her head. “You have a great heart Charita. Thinking about your family you agreed the marriage with him. With the great heart, can you dare to do something?”
“What is that doctor?” Charita knitted her brows together.
“Can you come along with him the next time? I want to talk with him also. There is no compulsion at all and only if you can do it like that.” Looking keenly into the face of Charita, Rose said.
“I try doctor but I am feeling very much angry and uncomfortable even to think like that but I sure do try.” Sighing heavily Charita said. “However much angry I am feeling, I know how important it is that I accept him as my husband and live along with him. So I do try to get rid of my anger on him and come along with him to you.”
“Along with your parents also.” Rose adjusted in the chair for more comfort. “There are four days in between today and Sunday. I give you an exercise to do. In fact if you can do this exercise better there may not be any necessity for my hypnotherapy also.”
“Tell me doctor, what should I do?” with a curious expression in her face Charita asked her.
“Before you get off from the bed in the morning and slip yourself into sleep in the night, you try to remember what happened to you in that house on that day. You try to remember every tiny detail what they did to you. You feel immense anger as you felt on that day and you don’t need to get rid of that feeling but don’t respond to it. Don’t let any reaction into your body because of that anger. I mean don’t let your palms turned into fists, frowns gathering, teeth gritting and body stiffening like that. As soon as you find these symptoms are taking place in your body, relieve yourself from them and make your body loose and relaxed but continue the imagination.”
“It is very much difficult to do so doctor.” With an uneasy expression in her face Charita said. “But I sure do try.”
“You feel the pleasure and pain which you have felt on that day while those guys had been raping you. You don’t need to get rid of that feeling also. You cannot stop the reaction of your body to the pleasure feeling and you don’t need to. Just let it go so.”
“Okay doctor.” Charita nodded her head.
“However much difficult this exercise to do, you just continue doing it like that till the day you come to me. I give you my phone number and phone to me before coming here. Is it is okay?”
“Of course, doctor.” A small smile came onto the lips of Charita.
“The most important thing....” Rose paused for a second as if to reiterate whatever she was going to say. “.........whenever your mind forced those memories onto the surface, don’t try to force them out. Just let them wander in your mind like that. You can relieve your body from the reactions of anger but you cannot from the reactions of pleasure. However much you did not like and want, there was some pleasure also in that rape to you, was it not.”
Charita nodded her head with an uneasy expression in her face.
“Okay then.” Rose got off from the chair she sat. “We go to your parents now and I tell them the counselling so far is successful and what need to be done next.”
Then Rose and Charita came out of that chamber.
***
“So this is one case you cannot be cheered at even you are so far successful in taking some change in that girl.”
When Rose said about the girl Charita, after hearing her in full Williams said. It was not unusual between them to discuss about their affairs in their respective offices.
“It is not just that Will. I am feeling hate on myself to do it like that. I have to make her to live with a rogue who is one of those who gang-raped her.” Sighing heavily Rose said. “I just cannot get rid of that feeling.”
“I can understand. A rape is an attack more on the psyche than the body. It is the highest degree of insult on a woman. Excusing the bastards who commit it is indeed very much difficult.” Williams paused for a second before saying again. “Only those women who are like your sister can do that.”
“You are absolutely right.” Rose nodded her head. “Even I admire her and she is my role model, I just cannot understand how could she pardon them and left them scot free.” Once again Rose’s face masked with surprise.
“Its alright Rose. We do have a discussion on these things at a later point of time. You need to sleep early if you want to wake up early and go to your BAMC in time.” Williams reminded her.
“Of course, yes.” With her charming smile on her lips Rose nodded her head.
“You promised me to give......” Williams tried to say something.
“I did not forget Will” Rose went to the table there, opened the draw of it and took a notebook from it “I have put it already here to give it to you whenever you ask. Take this and read this.” Rose closed the draw, came near to Williams and proffered that book towards him. “I am sure that the things in this will be quite disturbing to you. If you feel too much emotional for anything, just wake me up. I cannot awake anymore.” After Williams taking the book from her, Rose said yawning slightly closing her mouth with her right hand.
“Alright” Williams nodded his head.
Rose went near to the daughter in the cradle, observed her few seconds, then came to the bed and put herself on that to sleep. By the time Williams also came to the bed, sat in the middle of it and opened the book, she slipped herself into sleeping. Williams observed her for few seconds before he opened the book and looked at the first page.
It was the book written by his own mother whom he loved her a lot until he came to know about her illicit affair with that servant Dibbu and hated her in the same measure afterwards. Whatever she did, she was his own mother that he could not deny. Whatever a mother may do a mother remains a mother. The sins she had committed cannot be undone. What all he needed to do now was; try only to see whether to some extent her sins are pardonable.
“My life is not something glorious that I feel other people to know about it. My life is something like that anyone wants to keep it a secret till their death and to take it to their grave. But it has to be known to some people at sometime. After reading this, if they can excuse me atleast to some extent, I feel the purpose in my writing it is fulfilled.”
The book has started like that! His mother’s handwriting was quite beautiful just like her. Just because of her beauty, Williams always believed it like that, his father loved her and married her. How much beautiful she would have been in her youth to attract a very much rich person like his father? Quite unintentionally he fell into thinking and he has to force himself to the rest of the matter on the page.
“By the time I came to know what my mother was doing to substantiate the poor income through my father, I was just twelve years old. I came to know about this through one of my friends Neeta on one day while we were returning from the school.
‘Do you know why my dad is coming to your home occasionally?’ she asked suddenly in the middle of the way.
‘He is the friend of my dad. So he is coming.’ I was really feeling like that at that time.
‘It is not that.’ She suddenly stopped. ‘He is coming to your home to fuck your mom.’
The abrupt way of her putting it like that made me aghast! By then I just came to know what that ghastly act meant and between whom it should happen! So far to my knowledge there should be no fucking between man and woman unless they are man and wife.
‘But your dad is not my mom’s husband.’ I was still in confusion and I did not get angry on Neeta just because I did not know what a big mistake fucking between people other than man and wife.
‘The men who have been coming to your home everyday are not your mom’s husbands. But they are coming only to fuck her.’
There was no anger in Neeta on me and she told it to me like a fact. Moreover what Neeta said also was true; there were some men coming to my home everyday and if I were at home then I would be sent out on some pretext.
‘What do you mean? The all have been coming to my mom only to fuck her?’ I knitted her brows together.
‘Exactly! They are all coming to your home only for that.’
I just did not what to say to that. I did not know how to feel on that also just because I knew it was wrong but did not know how much big wrong!
‘My mom is very much angry with my dad and me also. She does not like my friendship with you and my coming to your home. She sternly warned me to cut off my friendship with you and never to go to your house again.’
It was just one month or so back Neeta’s family settled in that village and Neeta joined in the same school I was studying. Their family was also not a very rich family so she also has been joined in the same government school I am studying. Even in that little one month time itself, we both have become good friends.
‘Sorry to say this. I cannot be your friend anymore. I really don’t know how much big mistake your mom is doing but my mom does not like it. She would just kill me if she finds me with you again. Don’t try to talk with me again.’ After saying that she walked away from that place.
I could say one thing! So far Neeta has no anger on me but she was feeling very much to cut off my friendship like that. It was only out of compulsion. Just the day before she came to my home and would have told that to her mother when she asked her. I really could not understand much why her mother was that much angry on my mother but would have scolded her and warned her enough to cut off her friendship with me.
But losing the friendship of Neeta like that was very much for me as I have no friends not only just in my class but in my school and village also. I came to know about the reason later that it was just because of far and wide bad reputation of my mother.
(……….to be continued)
(I hope you enjoyed it so far. Please don’t forget to rate and review it. I update the next chapter as early as possible.)
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