I had a dinner with my extended family the other day. My uncle was a cop, and though he didn’t make much and would suffer a lot of slander for citizens, he was a happy guy. How? Why? I wanted advice from him. So I told him my situation. (Yes, all this happened at the dinner table.) I was going to be stuck doing a terrible job I had no interest in just because I wanted to earn money. They asked me why I wanted to earn money. I told them it was mainly because I wanted to be at the top of society. Where people would look at me and say, “oh, look at him.” And… I wanted to look down on others. Boast about my high status.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Z3zyP0OzA
How unsightly eh? Though it’s not uncommon. I’m just the one saying it out loud.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTQUJKt9rc
I hated being inferior. If someone my age boasted about earning 5k a month, I would feel like shit, especially if it seemed like they didn’t deserve it. Of course, if they were hard-working, a doctor or a lawyer, I would understand. After all, I could never do something like that. I’m just another idiot trapped in the capitalism scheme. I used to like this scheme, this hierarchy. Weak people deserve to be of lower rank, I thought. Sigh… anyway, this is what my Aunt and Uncle told me.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHrANVB14V
My uncle was a dental technician. While that sounded fancy, it doesn’t actually make a lot of money. Plus, in the dental field, it’s hard to apply your skillset elsewhere; changing your job isn’t easy. I asked him if he ever felt inferior while comparing himself with successful friends of people around him.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfycCmKtW85
“Well, you see, I work with a lot of dentists.” He said.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCTp7Nm0st
”They would have these fancy name tags and seem to be in their own world separate from us dental technicians. They would sometimes ask me, ‘how much do you make?’ Well, that’s not a very good question to ask, excuse you. They would often boast about their material assets, telling each other about the latest Ferrari or Porsche they bought. I had a Toyota, and frankly, I was pretty happy with it. I was pretty happy the way I was.”241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC2k3FvDJD
I don’t remember the exact words he said, but I found myself choking up. You know, people who are content with their lives regardless of the successfulness of the individuals around them are truly admirable. My uncle was just that kind of person. Despite being degraded daily by people on the street and those who he took into custody, he remained a bright and cheerful person.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMODbVeKdL
My Aunt, on the other hand, was a manager of a business, working on the corporate side. She told me that when she was younger, she also thought like me, wanting to be the top, except she worked her ass off towards it. She told me that there was a fresh masters graduate in her department that desperately wanted the title of manager. They would constantly pester their boss, and only wanted the title without the responsibility to brag to their circle of people. Ah… how despicable. Though I probably can’t say much. 241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxwm9coTNa
Anyway, I asked my aunt how she became content with her life. She told me she had become to accept how unrealistic being at the top was. Why was she working so hard? What was it all for? She told me that being satisfied came with life experience, and that she couldn’t express the process in words. Basically, “you’ll know when you grow older.”241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubSQBf9XNf
I guess when you’re older, you get more worried about whether you’ll find a family or die alone. My own parents told me that I’ll only understand what it means to have my own family when I’m older. I mean, I do. Sometimes I think about what’ll happen if I spend the rest of my life alone. It’s a little lonely, a little empty, and a little terrifying. Dying with no one mourning you, with a life that seems like it had made no impact whatsoever. But you know, I ate all the good food I could eat. I travelled to many places. I had experienced a lot. As people say, you are more likely to regret not doing something than actually doing something. At the end of my life, I want to have lived doing everything I wanted, and I want to believe that I had a significant positive impact on at least one person’s life.241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFORZe7mkyl
”I earn 500k a year.”241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJoSyaBu5u
”Yeah, but are you happy and content with your life? I am. I earn the minimum and work at a grocery store, but I’m happy and thankful for the life I have.”241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx6HkdH5P9
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One day, I’ll get there. I’ll escape from the walls of capitalism and define my own happiness, and I hope whoever reading this will, too.
There was a lot of other things discussed at the family dinner table. But this was the main message I wanted to convey today. 241Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv9D4L4TBe
Additionally, I often have deep conversations at the dinner table with my grandmother when my parents aren’t here. So, please look forward to the dinner table series (will not be consecutive)!
