The exhaustion was creeping up on him. Day after day, assignment after long assignment, the weight of responsibility kept piling onto his shoulders. Up to this point, he'd been able to shrug off the stress, compartmentalize it, ignore it for more important matters. When your superior was a Yonko, one was typically motivated not to make mistakes or get distracted by trivial things.
But the fatigue, the growing weight, was now too much to deny. His bones ached. Decisions came slower. It took more concentration than usual to understand what his subordinates were reporting to him. He couldn't keep telling himself that he was fine, after weeks of monitored work from both the Tobi Roppo and Kaido himself.
How had the Emperor not been convinced of his loyalty by now? Hawkins submitted months ago, taken the knee of subservience to the legendary figure without hesitation. It had been the best course of survival, and according to his occasional cards, it still was.
The constant feeling of being watched, of thinking over each and every step before he took it...
He accidentally let a heaving sigh escape him as he pushed through the door of his home, the sound loud enough for you to hear. He stopped, cursing his own inattention, before resigning to the fact that you now were alerted to his fatigue.
You stood from the cushioned seat, approaching him with that little frown of concern on your face. He knew better than to hide his depleted state of mind. You always knew better, once he let the tiniest hint of the truth slip through.
"Are you ok?" You asked as you approach, eyes taking in his dejected and tired appearance. You reached up to cradle one side of his face, then grimace with realization. "...It's Kaido, isn't it?"
Hawkins gave a silent nod, truly too exhausted to form any words at the moment. His admission seems to harden a resolve within you, your from furrowing.
"Come. Relax." Hawkins allows you to take his hand and drag him towards the mess of cushion and small pillows that made up the living room sitting area. He didn't resist as you pulled him down to sit beside you, appreciating the way you were gentle and yet firm with him.
He had half a mind to pull away, to claim some other thing that needed doing--there was always something pressing that he probably should have been focusing on--but one glance at your expression kept him quiet. He could tell that no amount of arguing or reasoning would convince you that he couldn't take this one moment to just...sit and do nothing.
Nothing...
Just the sound of it was bliss.
You're swift in taking off the least comfortable bits of his clothing, the metal shoulder brace, and the long and heavy cloak. Each burdening layer is stripped away, tossed to the floor in a pile for him to retrieve later. He should probably wash them, clean them...
Your hand turns his head back towards you, away from the last vestiges of his daily responsibilities. Clad in his flowing pants and white, breathable shirt, he felt like he could finally just breathe.
You give him a small smile, and he can't find it within himself to look away.
"Forget about Kaido, and X Drake, and all of the other things that you need to do tomorrow. Right now, all that matters is you."
Your insistence makes him feel a little guilty. All this time and effort he's had to put forth to Kaido and his army. When was the last time he'd given you his full attention? He couldn't possibly ask for such dedication without offering something in return first.
Hawkins tries to voice as much. "Y/N-"
"Shh." You hush him, refusing to hear any sort of argument from your lover. "I can see the exhaustion in your face. You need this, and you deservethis after all of your hard work. Just rest, and know that I'll be here when you wake back up."
When you smiled like that, so eager and ready to help him take a load off, and when you were making more sense than his paranoid thoughts were, Hawkins finally felt his shoulders slumping. Without a word, he slumped forward, finding comfort and warmth against your chest. You welcomed him there with a gentle hum, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
And when he closed his eyes and released the pent up breath he felt like he'd been holding for weeks now, the bone-deep aches seemed to subside, to dull and mute. The ever-looming tasks and assignments and responsibilities that existed beyond the door of your home felt far away. For once, he could convincingly tell himself that everything could wait for tomorrow.
The softness of your body, your warmth, your scent and even, steady breathing. The combination lulled him into a deep sleep, one that was long overdue.
For the first time in weeks, he was at such peace.
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