Stewing in your feelings, you’d drank way too much.
Had you allowed Killer to sit beside you to keep you company after Kid had blatantly brushed you off, perhaps he could have advised you keep your drinking to moderation. But without a voice of reason to tell you to stop raising the sake’s rim to your lips, it quickly emptied. And when the first was gone, you turned to a second bottle. And then a third.
It felt so much better to sit alone and throw your own pity party on the sidelines of the celebration than to try cheering yourself up. No one wanted to ruin their own mood and see what was bothering you, nor did you wish to be comforted. Your slumped shoulders and the way your back faced the dancing and merriment made that plain and clear.
Your mind spun a mix of cloudy drunkenness and damaged feelings, both fighting for control of your headspace. The loud noises and laughing and singing was distracting, adding even more chaos to the combination of negativity.
How could he be so callous? Why were you so easy to brush off and replace with a random face in the crowd? It was true the two of you had never defined what you were–a Captain and subordinate with benefits?–but deep down you believed that alone warranted some sort of exclusivity when it came to anything intimate.
Your hands came up to clutch at the thin necklace you wore around your neck. It was one of the few trinkets that he’d ever bothered to give you. It was a cherished piece of jewelry. You’d never take it off. Somehow it felt so much heavier around your neck at that moment.
You continued wallowing, your thoughts spiraling down a terrible staircase, deeper into your own insecurities. Within minutes, you were rethinking everything he’d ever told you, all the moments you’d shared-
“A bit excessive for a celebration, if you ask me.”
Startled by the sudden vice beside you, your head whips up to see one of the other pirate captains, Trafalgar Law, standing beside you. He held his own mug loosely between his fingers, gaze focused on the direction you’d been facing all this time.
Drunkenly, you tried figuring out the context to his words, but you were struggling to keep up. When you didn’t reply, Law glanced down at you and nodded meaningfully at the empty sake bottles you were surrounded by, couples with the half-empty fourth bottle in your lap. Oh. He meant the drinking.
You let out a tired sigh, having hoped no one would try socializing with you. “’m not celebrating…”
“I figured as much.” He remarked, quieting down after that. He continued standing beside you, though, and you began to wonder why he’d seemingly sought out your company in the first place.
Stuck in this awkward silence, you dared a glance back at the party going on, then immediately regretted it.
Kid was still sitting next to and flirting with the woman you’d seen him run to. She was clearly welcoming to his attention, lounging in her seat in a way that could only be described as provocative. Feeling another wave of inferiority, you turned away and stared into your lap.
“Ah…so that’s why you’re sulking on the sidelines.” Law muttered loud enough for you to hear, his careful eye watching your reactions. You’d known the man was smart, but he could tell the truth just from that one action? “Eustass-ya’s being his typical idiotic self.”
“It’s…my fault.” You say, automatically wanting to defend your Captain, even if in your own mind, you agreed with Law. “He saw me with that blonde man-”
“Spare me your lies, Miss. I’m familiar with Eustass-ya’s pigheadedness just as much if not more so than you.” He gave a shake of his head, taking a swig from his drink before continuing. “I can clearly see when a man is jealous and unwilling to admit it.”
His perspective puts you in awe. Jealous? He felt…threatened? That was what his rejection of you had been about? And here you’d thought that he believed you to be whoring yourself out. “Kid…was jealous?”
“Blatantly.”
“Then…why didn’t he tell me? Why did he…make it my fault?” You question aloud, furiously trying to kick your drunken brain into gear to process everything that Law was telling you.
“Because he’s a stubborn bastard who can’t be bothered to lower his ego enough to treat his significant other with respect when he feels threatened.” He surmised, flashing you a small grin when you frown at the insult to your Captain.
You go to speak in defense of him, but he only chuckles. “Save your breath. I stand by my words, and you should stand by your feelings. If you don’t believe you did anything wrong–which you didn’t–then why do you allow him to cast you aside without consequences?”
Your mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He…had a point. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t thought of it before, but in your bones, you felt it was right.
Everything in your core was telling you that you weren’t at fault, that Kid had misconstrued everything and hadn’t bothered to listen to your side of things. And in response, he disrespects you by running off to another woman, doing exactly the same thing he accused you of doing to him? How did that make sense?
You pondered what this meant. You were hurt. So badly hurt to your emotional core. Law said nothing as you worked through all of your feelings, stirring the pot but coming up with conclusions rather than more questions. However, one still remained you couldn’t shake.
Your eyes flick back up to Law, who had returned to watching the outskirts of the city, away from the celebration at your back. “Why…are you telling me this?”
Law glanced at you again, silent a few moments as he considered his own answer. Then, with one last tip back of his drink, he tosses the empty cup off to the side.
“Maybe I just like ruining Eustass-ya’s evening. And mending a distraught young woman’s.” He began to turn away, then stops and gestures to the bottle on your lap. “I’d lay off the rest of that, if you don’t want to kill your liver. Doctor’s suggestion.”
And with that, he blended back in with the energetic partiers, no doubt going off to find his own crew to celebrate with. In looking back, you couldn’t help the way your eyes naturally sought out the redheaded form of your Captain.
His fingers propped up the chin of the woman he spoke with, his pointer gliding down the column of her throat and making her giggle. She pulled her head away, obviously ticklish, and hid her smile behind her hands. The sight was disgusting but…you found that your pity and sorrow had been replaced instead by something more powerful.
Anger.
As if he could sense your gaze, Kid’s eyes flickered around the party. Was he looking for you? Before your eyes could meet, you instead looked down at the necklace you continued to fidget with around your neck. The sight of it…infuriated you. Did he think he could buy your submission and silence with these cheap gifts? Were you simply a convenient plaything to sail around with in case he needed something to wet his dick in?
You yank the offending jewelry from your neck, looking at it with such rage, your hands shake. The piece dangles from between within your fist, and you find your clumsy feet already taking you in the direction of the Victoria Punk.
The sake bottle slips away from your lap and smashes on the ground, forgotten and discarded. Just like you had been.
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