Matthew's POV
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The voiles stream around the ebony four poster bed, as Taylor sleeps. Just as she always did whilst we were together, sleeping soundly clutching onto a pillow and breathing softly. Henry has made a few little murmurs and I've checked each time. His breathing is steady and he appears to be content. His arms sprawled about above his head as he lays on his back. The bedside crib is double his size and he merely takes up one corner of it. The part that is closest to his mummy, it’s very sweet.
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I long to lay next to Taylor, however that will only happen when I'm sure that I will not be tempted by her. I watch her for a while in her cream slip, her long hair streaming over the pillow. Just wondering how it might feel to slide in next to her, hold the satin material that she’s wearing around her body and breathe in her scent. Feel her body respond to mine again as she holds me back in her arms.
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Pulling my eyes away from her, I stare back at the flatscreen, the movie taking up my attention for merely seconds before I watch over her again. Her lips pursed as she sleeps, reminding me of how I would kiss her when she woke up in the mornings. I sigh pulling my phone out and messaging Jay.
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Both of them are asleep, safely. Have a safe flight. Matthew
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Desperately trying to keep him and our conversation present in my mind as I lay in the same bedroom as my ex fiancée who is now his wife. Sinking firmly down into the linen chair and pulling the blanket over myself I realise that massage chairs are actually pretty comfortable, not like laying next to the girl you love. But comfortable all the same as it massages the knots out of my back and I lay back slightly willing myself not to fall asleep. To keep this stolen moment in my mind and not miss out on one bit of it.
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Henry stirs whimpering just as I begin to close my eyes and I stand going over to the bed parting the cream voiles and taking a seat by Taylor’s legs. He cries softly and I pick him up, holding him in my arms as Taylor moans and I chuckle.
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“I’ll give him a bottle” I whisper to her and she smiles eyes still closed.
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“I’ve got him” I tell her as she strokes my thigh just once with her hand before she falls back asleep.
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Quietly I close the bedroom door, clasping him into my chest as he whimpers. I rock him as I walk down the stairs of their grande home, heading past the living space and into the kitchen. The lights automatically flick on and I smile down at Henry illuminated in my chest.
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“Not long now” I whisper down to him extricating the bottle out of the steriliser and mentally thanking Evelyn, Taylor’s mom for placing it on before she left. I settle Henry over my shoulder as I warm up the breast milk in a sterilised bottle.
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He grows a little impatient with my fumbling around as I test the temperature of the milk on my hand before presenting it to him.
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“Here shh” I placate him offering the warm bottle to him as he whimpers again. His eyes wide for once as he looks up at me, one hand holding onto my chest as I walk him back upstairs to Taylor whilst he has his feed. The last thing I want is for her to wake up and worry about him not being in the room with her.
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Taking the marble steps carefully, I walk him down the maroon hall towards the double doors where Taylor lays asleep. The muffled noise of the film awaits me as I sit back down in the massage chair. I feed him and he closes his eyes content with me. Just days old, I marvel at his small fingers and his little button nose. Considering his tiny tummy, he finishes the entire bottle settling in my arms before I gently pat his back placing him over my shoulder.
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“Matthew” Taylor whispers from the bed as I stroll around the room with him humming.
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“Mhmm” I whisper into the dark.
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“Thank you” she whispers back and I smile.
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“Shh sleep” I tell her and she chuckles.
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“I’ll change him” she says appearing out of the voiles and walking over to the changing table by the dresser, she places a fresh diaper on the side next to the wipes and diaper cream.
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Holding onto the back of his head I lay him down on the cushioned baby mat and she smiles up at me before undoing the poppers and proceeding to change him. My hand brushes her back, imagining all of the times we would have done this together. And fathoming how we now still get to.
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“Lay down” she whispers to me and I stroke my hair back, sighing. Removing myself from her vicinity, it’s too easy for me to embrace her. Wrap my arms around her with the knowledge that we are the only witnesses to our actions for the time being. Parting the voiles at the end of the bed as she rocks Henry to sleep. I lay in my sweatshirt and joggers over the cover just watching her pace around the room looking down at the baby as he drifts off.
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Taylor sings and hums to him as she rests him down in the bedside crib and climbs under the covers. I stare up at the top of the four poster bed, anywhere but at her. As she settles a pacifier above his lips and he accepts it.
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“Hopefully” she whispers turning to me.
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“That should settle him for a bit longer” she murmurs towards me and I smile down at her.
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“I don’t mind doing it” I whisper to her and she chuckles.
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“Let’s see how you feel after two nights in a row” she laughs and I sigh giggling slightly before resting my tired head back into the large cushions and succumbing to sleep alongside her and the baby.
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***
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Three more feeds came and passed us by before the sun rises, and as I open my eyes hazily I peek up at Taylor feeding Henry in bed next to me. A small smile plays over her lips.
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“Good morning sleepyhead” she smiles down at me.
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“Good morning” I whisper my voice breaking as I try my best not to glance at her bare neck and shoulders.
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“Here” she says softly as he unlatches and she passes me the baby. Sitting up in the bed I take him in my arms and give him a cuddle as she tucks her hair behind her ears and smiles.
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“Thanks, I ugh, if you hadn’t have done that whole night with me I’m sure I would have been a complete mess this morning” she says pulling up the spaghetti straps on her cream nightgown.
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“I’m happy to help” I say looking down at the wispy hair of the baby and smiling. Kissing his forehead, and saying good morning to him as she laughs.
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“I’m just going to lay here and pretend we don’t have anything to do today” she smiles over at me and I chuckle almost leaning into kiss her.
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“You don’t, I’ll do it all” I smile over at her locking my eyes with her own.
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“I’m intending on coming to the physio excursion with you guys” she laughs and I shake my head.
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“The physio is coming here today” I tell her and she smiles.
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“I decided it would be easier for the time being.” I whisper and she smiles, her hands reaching up and ruffling my hair as I melt.
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“In that case” she smiles lying back down into the bed.
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“Exactly so relax” I say watching her lay down next to me as I hold the baby on my chest.
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“I have to tell you” I say to Henry, whispering down at him as he coos.
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“You’re the cutest little baby I’ve ever seen, and you have the bestest mummy in the universe” I whisper and Taylor laughs facing me tucking herself into my side.
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“Shall we go for a stroll today, Henry” I ask him as Taylor chuckles her hand resting flat on Henry’s back as he nuzzles into me.
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“You haven’t seen your garden yet” I tell him.
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“It’s pretty much the fanciest garden you’ll ever see” I laugh and Taylor smiles resting her arm over my chest.
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“Will give me another chance to use the pram” Taylor smiles and I wink at her before looking back down at Henry who has already fallen back asleep on my chest. His head rested to the side as he snores.
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“You’re comfortable clearly” she laughs and I smile stroking his head and the soft blonde curls.
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“Clearly” I laugh before we place him back into the crib for safety. Diving under the many blankets and cushions and falling into a slumber ourselves.
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