Taylor's POV
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Henry Gilbert Scott is a fan of his pram, he enjoys being tucked in and looking up at the sky as we walk through the grounds of cherry tree.
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Matthew has been doting, like no other human beings exist within his world. Apart from us. I gaze down at my baby realising he may just be the luckiest child in this world, having not only a father who adores him. But also having a second male influence in his life whose world centres around him. I imagine them playing football together, going on days out together and smile looking up at Matthew.
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We had dressed Henry for autumn, as even though the sun is shining, the chill in the air is unmistakable. A mocha brown knitted cardigan that has cute little bear ears on the top of the hood is buttoned up around Henry as he lays tucked into his pram. A knitted blanket underneath the zipped pram cover providing warmth and comfort from the chilly air as the leaves rustle around us.
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Occasionally, as a new mom, making all of the little decisions minute by minute is just a bit daunting. Micro decisions like whether to put a coat on him, or a cardigan. I've never had to dress another human before and I am constantly overthinking. Questioning whether he will be too hot in garments, or too cold. So I've decided, based on Matthew's practical advice that layers is the key. He rationalised as I stressed this morning in the bedroom, that we can always remove layers should he get a little bit too warm. And add a blanket if he feels cold. So for our little stroll around the grounds, we've even taken the changing bag with a spare blanket and hat. A sterilised bottle of milk in a pouch and a sterilised pacifier that Henry is already suckling on as we stroll. It's overkill since we haven't even left the house, but still we are prepared.
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I myself, have managed to shower letting my hair dry out naturally into waves, I've pulled on my Barbour jacket over a knitted button up dress and boots. I glance up at Matthew as he walks beside the pram, wearing his leather jacket with a charcoal chunky jumper underneath and his normal Levi's. He pushes his brunette locks back looking out at the greenery and breathing in the air steadily. The worry and concern that invaded all of his expressions the other day after his split with Olivia have all but disappeared. Truly it's the most relaxed I've seen him, considering that we are sleep deprived, that's a huge statement.
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Undeniably, Matthew and I will always have a connection with one another. However we respect the boundaries of our relationship now, we even shared the bed without touching one another. We showered separately, and I dressed in the bathroom so as not to make things awkward between us.
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"So Rachel would like to come over for dinner" I begin as he looks down at me, breaking his attention from whatever he may have been pondering. I take in the grey blue sky in the background as I look out at the cherry trees pushing the pram as Henry sleeps happily enjoying the stroll.
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"With Chris" I add smiling slightly, he strokes my arm.
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"Sounds lovely, do you want company or are you feeling more like sleep and movies" he chuckles and I feel like pinching his ruddy cheeks but I don't.
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"I think I'm up to it" I smile over at him.
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"When it gets too much just let me know and I will clear her out" he laughs and I chuckle.
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"I'm going to cook for us" I explain and he smiles knowing how much I enjoy preparing food and having people enjoying my efforts.
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We walk some more until we almost reach the outdoor studio and the log cabin at the rear of the grounds. Sweeping hills mark the landscape and I consider for a few moments before I verbalise the thoughts I've been processing since yesterday. Being alone, was never an issue for me before motherhood. Never was it something I would dwell on or even consider before being postpartum. But the thought now of loneliness and being on my own for hours or days even on end is utterly terrifying for me.
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"I'm worried" I blurt out, it alarms Matthew instantly and I curse myself for speaking out loud.
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"About being alone" I whisper and he softens turning to face me.
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“But Taylor you will always have people surrounding you, myself included” he smiles and I nod.
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“It’s just I never thought about it before, never envisioned being worried about simple things like being alone. But now it’s hitting me, like everything is hitting me at the moment.” I explain to him and he rubs my arms.
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“So what we do is get through things day by day. We take each day as it comes. Sort out the problems or challenges if you will when they occur.” He says softly. My hair blows in the gentle breeze as I nod to him seeing his logic.
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“You’re making a lot of sense.” I smile up at him and he nods staring into my eyes.
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“I loved doing the night time shift with you” he explains softly brushing my hair back, and taking in my smile.
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“Mhmm it was an eventful night huh” I laugh as Henry stirs again, since we have stopped moving.
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“Here” Matthew says lifting him out of the pram. Pulling his hat on and holding him into his chest.
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“Does he want milk? Is he hungry?” I try to troubleshoot what could be the reason behind his cries as he settles in Matthew’s arms.
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“No I think he just wants to have a look around at the garden that I was going on about this morning” he smirks and I giggle pushing the pram as Matthew pats his back whilst Henry settles.
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Walking slightly behind him as he carries my baby up to the house, I snap a picture of him from behind amongst the trees carrying Henry over his shoulder. I’ve taken several pictures today all of which I’ve sent to Jay, of Henry. A few of me feeding him, a few of him getting changed this morning. I’ve basically been documenting his every movement and showing Jay all of them.
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Eventually after our long stroll up to the property, it’s takes us around twenty minutes to cover the ground. We traipse through wildflowers, past the trellis and then finally up past our outdoor swimming pool before we head in through the kitchen doors.
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The physio stands working on Ross as we enter, the same man from the hospital standing in my kitchen by the kitchen island with a whole host of exercise apparatus. He eyes Henry and smiles. He had seen me pregnant, and now to see the baby finally he practically gasps. A large man, wearing his tank top with a fitted training hoody over the top cooing and smiling over the little baby is a humorous sight.
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“Oh congratulations” he smiles as Ross takes a seat resting on the oak table. Matthew shows off Henry to the physio as I settle on making a few cups of tea and coffee, assembling some biscuits and snacks before I know the inevitable feeding time will come around for Henry. As I place the mugs on the table and everybody helps themselves, I take a seat myself realising that Matthew is still cradling Henry happily. I chuckle slightly lounging back in my chair and relaxing.
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***
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“This looks nice” he whispers as I walk out of the walk in wardrobe, in a gown. A strapless, figure hugging claret red floor length dress that is overkill for a dinner date. Matthew is cradling Henry lounging back in the massage chair as Henry dozes.
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“This is a gown that I bought before being pregnant” I smile eyeing myself in the floor length mirror appreciating my slim waistline.
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“You’re like the definition of bouncing back” he whispers eyeing my waist before he places Henry down in the bassinet.
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“Thank you” I smile approaching the white oak dresser where all of my makeup is set out.
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“It’s somewhat dressed up for my kitchen, but I need to feel good, and not just like a mom” I say combing my hair out into its loose waves as I sit on the upholstered chair in front of the window.
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“A red dress achieves all of those things” I smile looking into the vanity mirror and Matthew’s reflection behind me as he gazes down at my exposed shoulders briefly.
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“You always look good” he smiles brushing my shoulder with his fingertips. I had prepared the roast duck earlier, alongside the vegetables. Matthew helped of course and Ross even managed to stand and do the potatoes. We’re quite a team, one of us juggles Henry and his needs whilst the remaining two of us prep the food.
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“It’s nice huh having this time” he whispers softly as I look up at him.
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“You have such a strong bond with Henry already” I tell him softly and he smiles.
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“We’re thankful to you” I say softly and he smiles giving me some space to finish getting ready. We’ve dressed Henry in a Ralph Lauren baby shirt and pull on trousers, he looks like a mini Jay. I’ve snapped a picture of him and sent it to him.
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I glance at my phone noticing his reply as I put on some matching maroon lipstick and bronzer.
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That’s my boy. Love you. What are you wearing to dinner? Xx
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Cradling my phone as I read his message and smirk, he’s so cheeky and I miss him terribly. We spoke on the phone over lunch, and I informed him that Rachel would be having dinner with us. Imagining him laying in bed in Dubai due to the time difference, he informed me that he would much rather be having dinner with us, and doing the night shift with me.
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It’s fancy and red. Wanna see ? Love you xx
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I reply smiling as I set my phone down before finishing my makeup, snapping a few pictures of me sitting at the dresser which I know that he will approve of. The strapless neckline of the gown is somewhat of a bargain whilst breastfeeding, I begin to worry about flashing my entire chest to our guests later.
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Always, even if it isn’t fancy and red xx
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Gazing in the mirror I send through the pictures awaiting his reaction. The water pounds from the en-suite shower as Matthew washes and my phone rings instantly as Jay calls me.
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“Mmm that’s not fair” he whispers when I answer.
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“You look hot and sexy and wonderful” he chuckles and I sit there imagining his hands on me.
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“I wanted to feel less mumsey” I smirk and he laughs, a chuckle that I’ve missed even though it’s been merely a day.
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“I want to kiss your entire chest” he whispers and I sigh, slipping into my shoes and checking on Henry who is still snoring.
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“I want to kiss you full stop” I whisper and I can feel his grin. There’s a pause before he begins speaking again.
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“You my wife, deserve to have a nice evening have a glass of wine” he says softly and I smile beginning to protest due to breastfeeding.
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“So pump off some milk and Matthew can feed the baby I’m sure” he whispers and I smile.
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“I love you Taylor” he whispers and there’s a whole load of heat behind his voice.
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“I’m booking the Florence tickets later” he says and I think about our Italian home, the marble bathroom with the fancy bathtub, the vineyards and the pool. The walks we can take Henry on, around the grounds.
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“I can’t wait, I love you” I whisper. We speak some more about his meeting, his dad and the place in Dubai that I’m yet to see. Jay suggests once we’ve settled and after the christening that we take a trip to Dubai, he explains all about Palm Jumeirah. He quips about visiting the clairvoyant that predicted me in his cards and I laugh.
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“I miss you” I say softly.
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“Me too Mon amour” he sighs and I smile.
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Ending our call with kisses down the phone I smile in the mirror set on having a glass of Italian wine this evening with our food. Thinking to the future, where myself and Jay get to spend some time as a family together in Italy.
