Matthew's POV
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The big apple is an enticing trip, coming from a guy that has barely left California for almost all of his life to be flying around the world is an exciting opportunity. The fact that flights and accommodation are paid for is a bonus that both myself and Ross are ecstatic about. My pay is generous, more generous than I had imagined a photographer would receive. Another bonus I tell myself as I kid myself that I want anything in my life more than being with the girl I love and settling down with her.
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I glance over at Taylor laying on her sun lounger with her shades over her eyes, legs stretched out before her as the sun beams down over us. Ross is writing, declaring that he had a moment of realisation as he sauntered off. Jay has been in meetings for a few hours and Rachel and Chris are off being a happy couple in Assisi. Christopher hired an old mustang to drive her around the medieval town, Rachel was ecstatic as they planned their day out.
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"You know Matthew" Taylor says breaking my thoughts as I look over at the water and imagine drawing her amongst the backdrop of the hills.
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"Yes Taylor" I smirk looking over at her keen smile, her hands positioned over bump.
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"You're going to be amazing with this photography stuff" she smiles and I laugh slightly picking up my coffee and siping it.
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"Thank you I'll be sure to send you lots of pictures of us in New York" I tell her.
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"And of all of the food you eat" she smiles over at me, topping up on sunscreen as Henry sleeps soundly in the wicker bassinet. We had smothered him in sunscreen and I extended the parasol to put him entirely in the shade. Surprisingly the heat of the Italian climate has been something I've enjoyed, the sunshine giving my usual olive complexion a darker hue, and my brunette curls natural highlights.
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The sun has treated Taylor very nicely, as I gaze upon her tan skin, clad in a black two piece as she sweeps her long hair over the top of the lounger and off of her neck. The caramel highlights in her hair shining brightly in the sunshine as she turns to face me, laying on her side. My mind instantly urges me to draw her but as she speaks I tell myself to focus.
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"Don't look at me like that" she whispers lifting her sunglasses up as my heart weakens for her time and time again.
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"Like what" I whisper as she giggles, a sound I never want to be without.
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"Like I'm yours" she says silkily as I stand briskly and pull my white button shirt off, my swim shorts on as I stand and stretch out before kneeling in front of her.
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"I'm sorry for looking at you Taylor" I giggle as she ruffles my hair slowly staring into my eyes.
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"Maybe if you weren't so god darn beautiful I wouldn't look at you all of the time" I whisper looking into eyes that I know still love me.
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"Cool down in the pool?" I suggest standing up and checking on Henry as she blushes.
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"Definitely I'm not even worried about the water anymore" she smiles as I take her hand in my own and lead her over to the deep end of the pool which is closest to the sleeping baby. Watching as the water laps over her chest and shoulders, her hair swirling around her.
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"I don't want you to be worried about anything ever again" I smile holding onto her hips under the water as she sighs.
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"I want you to be happy" she whispers.
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"You make me happy" I tell her instantly sweeping my hair back. Imagining our life is too easy for me, images of her in London with me or roaming around the big apple. After all when somebody becomes your muse it's terribly difficult to find another.
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"The thought of it all is too much" I whisper and before I even realise my fingertips are tracing lines over her lips.
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"What do you mean?" She whispers back, sliding her head back and soaking her hair. Even without makeup Taylor is the epitome of beauty. Her dark lashes that line blue eyes. Rosy cheeks glowing through her lightly tanned complexion.
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“Imagining how things would be” I begin as she closes her eyes and my hands cup her chin slowly stroking down her neck.
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“Had I of not messed up. Had I of kept myself together. Throughout the miscarriage” I whisper as her eyes remain closed, her breathing hitches.
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“Cared for you like I do now. We would have kids, and it’s the one thing that keeps me going. The image of us together in some cute house in England. Rustic sash windows, a porch and a yard with wildflowers. A few children” I say wistfully looking out at the terrace for any signs of the others. Stealing moments with the love of my life is painful.
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“Matthew” she whispers and I know that her objections will follow and so I shh her.
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“Let me just dream about it” I whisper as she remains quiet and still in my arms.
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“Dreams are useless” she whispers opening her eyes.
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“No Taylor” I object watching her as she stares at me, her pupils adjusting to the light.
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“You’re a dreamer, a creative and honestly the best human being I’ve ever met. You gave me all of my dreams. You and only you” I tell her as she scrapes my hair back just once. It reminds me of when we were together, when she would ruffle my hair if I was drawing or in the mornings when she would stroke my hair until I arose.
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“Dreams are the very fabric of our lives and happiness” I tell her before lightly stroking my fingers up her back and guiding her over to the loungers. Watching as the sun beats down onto our skin and she lays back as I hover looking over at Henry who is beginning to stir.
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“Matthew, can you pass me the baby” she requests as I smile down at him. Imagining her saying that to me one day, dreaming that the babies will be our own.
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“Here” I whisper resting him into her arms as she sets aside her bikini to feed him.
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“I’ll get you another” I whisper eyeing her empty mug of green tea before I head back over to the kitchen. The sun beating on my bare back as I cross the veranda towards the terracotta walls and the large glass doors that open up to the kitchen.
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“Matthew” she whispers stopping me in my stride. Glancing over my shoulder as I wait for her to declare that she wants a different drink or perhaps food, anything other than what she ends up saying.
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“You mean the world to me, to us” she whispers as I turn to look at her. Her eyes locking with my own before I smile reassured.
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“You’ll always be my world” I whisper before turning back towards the glass doors intent on making the drinks so that I do not stride over to her and kiss her.
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As I boil the water I think of how the green tea is allowing her to manage having less coffee, one or two cups a day is not harmful for the pregnancy. Placing the tea leaves in the mug and allowing it to simmer as I make my own coffee and one for Ross just in case he decides to make an appearance. The coffee machine makes short work of the entire process as I finish up.
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Walking back into the sizzling sunshine with the glass mug of tea in between my hands I can faintly hear Henry cooing and Taylor talking to him. The timbre of her voice angelic and sweet as she practically sings to him.
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“Thank you” she whispers as I place the tea down on the small patio table before pacing back to retrieve the coffees and the babies bag with diapers and cream.
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“Mind reader” she exclaims upon seeing me with his belongings as I scoff handing her a fresh diaper and the cream.
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“Here baby” she smiles laying him flat on the lounger as he looks up and babbles chewing on his hands slightly.
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Sipping my coffee I gaze at her as she changes him placing him back into his blue romper singing to him all the while without a care in the world. It dawns on me in that moment that she is every bit the woman I had always envisioned her to be. In so many ways it’s what always makes everything so difficult; moving on and leaving her behind isn’t something I will ever be able to negotiate.
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“Here” she smiles holding Henry out to me as he practically giggles looking at me and I hold onto him.
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“He loves you” she murmurs as I look over at her smiling.
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“Do me a favour Henry will you” I whisper looking at him as I hold him in front of me, he makes a few sweet noises at me.
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“Look after your mom in Dubai for me, make sure she enjoys herself” I whisper smiling over at Taylor as she laughs and Henry coos.
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“And then when she’s back here in Italy I’ll be here” I tell him before holding his soft body into my chest.
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“You’re flying back in a couple of weeks?” Taylor asks softly as I turn to her.
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“Wouldn’t miss it for the world” I whisper as she nods laying down on her lounger and replacing her sunglasses over her head. I place Henry on my chest as he softly breathes into me, resting. I watch him as his eyes close and his small hands hold onto me. Knowing that she will tell me to set him down for a nap I stand and place his small body down in the bassinet watching as his blonde curls fall loosely.
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The ambience of the veranda, the stillness of the water and the sight of Taylor is not something I wish to forget ever. Her soft breathing tells me that she’s asleep, from afar the engine of a mustang cuts out and I know that this is the last of my time alone with her. So I stand in one swift motion, stroke her hair back as she stirs slowly. My lips caress hers and in her sleepy state she doesn’t protest me even as I linger kissing her a second time. I stand back from her again knowing that Rachel’s chatter will fill the air any minute from now.
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“So guys” Rachel belts out as Taylor watches me seriously having stood up from her lounger. I push my brunette hair back sure that she’s both pissed and utterly charmed by me.
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“Assisi is that how you say it!?” Rachel exclaims looking between the two of us oddly as Ross strolls out to the pool to join us.
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“It is Rachel” Ross smirks as Christopher laughs and she wraps her arms around him possessively.
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“It’s totally fabulous” she smiles launching into a long list of things they managed to do there. Taylor smiles softly as I pass Ross his coffee.
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“I’ll get you two a drink” she announces looking at Rachel and Christopher in turn.
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“Wine or coffee” Taylor asks as Rachel scoffs.
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“Wine please” Rachel laughs as if it’s obvious and Christopher asks for a coffee. Ross rolls his eyes at me as I follow Taylor into the marble kitchen. Eyeing her back and the way her spine naturally curves slightly. Yearning to remove her bikini and touch her skin, she moves all the way through the worktops past the coffee machine and over to the cellar steps where I assume she’s going to retrieve the wine.
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One step at a time she’s utterly silent as I walk behind her, my hands just yearning to touch her and hold her. There’s stacks upon stacks of produce, the scent of baked bread and herbs and spices. Until we reach a second set of steps leading us further down underground, I flick the light on my hand reaching out for her waist as I stroke it before we descend the steps.
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We’ve been close before and I think of all of the times I’ve touched her and held her as she peruses the wine and I lean on the small oak table in the centre of the room, watching her find a bottle of wine before she turns to face me expectantly. It’s a gamble looking into her eyes, will she shout at me for kissing her or will she fall back into my arms again.
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“Did anybody see” she whispers placing the wine on the table as I shake my head watching her body in front of mine. The light is low down here and there’s no sound but our breaths.
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“Good” she whispers as I stroke her forearm with my fingertips, her body angled away from mine as she attempts to leave turning around as I hold onto her soft hand and she hesitates.
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“Nobody can see here either” I whisper in her ear gently kissing her bare neck as she inhales sharply and I slowly pull her hips to me in the dark.
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“Your dreams are very important” I whisper in her ear, thinking of how she dismissed the idea earlier.
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“Do you remember when we would sit out on my porch looking into the forest and I’d be drawing you and you would be dreaming about our life together” I whisper remembering when we used to live together and when we spent all of our time together.
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“Matthew” she whispers as my lips explore her neck, moving aside the string of the bikini with my teeth before turning her to face me.
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“Your dreams are more important to me than anybody else’s” I tell her softly my hands rubbing her waist lightly before I pull away placing my hands in my hair and brushing it back out of frustration. Annoyance that I cannot just take her away from all of this.
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“Your dreams are important to me too” she whispers grasping the wine.
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“My dreams” I begin tying up her bikini top again instead of pulling it off of her and kissing her whole chest.
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“They consist of us” I whisper looking into her eyes as she smiles slightly.
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“Just one more before I have to return to being your friend” I whisper softly stroking her lips, my lips set upon hers just quickly as she stands before me. The passion takes over me as I slip my tongue into her mouth and she pulls away.
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“Sorry” I laugh slightly as she grasps the wine and smirks.
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“Matthew” she sighs walking up the steps and I follow.
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“Taylor” I sigh back and she giggles.
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“I want you to go to New York and forget all about me” she whispers at the top of the stairs.
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“Not gonna happen” I whisper softly watching her move past the shelves of the cellar as I follow her up to the light of the kitchen. My wife I think to myself as I look at her walking into the kitchen and starting up the coffee machine.
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