Taylor's POV
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I have a home full of friends and family members, yet as I lay awake at two am watching Henry sleep it feels as though I am the only person in the world. The only person to witness the way he closes his lips together, and holds out his little fingers clasping them around my fingers. My boy.
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Jay managed to quickly set up the bedside crib and harness it to our large four poster bed. The ivory curtains pulled around the three of us.
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"You okay Mama" he whispers sleepily stroking my arm and propping himself up on the bed next to me.
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"I can't wait for it to be just us" I whisper to him.
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"I know" he whispers back as Henry sputters. Over protective as we are we both jump to get him.
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"I can't stop cuddling him" I tell Jay picking him up and offering him some more breast milk. He's already mastered his latch. He's a clever baby.
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"You're a natural" Jay says softly looking down at our baby.
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"Tomorrow morning, I will be cooking for you and cleaning. Please don't do anything, I don't want you fainting again. Perhaps we should get everything checked out" he says looking up at me concerned.
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"I think that's a good idea" I whisper to him and he smiles.
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"We were very lucky to have Olivia here" I say softly and he nods. I can see his mind going through the whole thing.
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"Matthew was beside himself" he says softly and I look down at Henry.
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"I heard him" I say looking down at my baby.
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"It just brought forward a lot of memories for him" I say softly. Henry unlatches and I pass him over to Jay, he burps him smiling and cooing at him.
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"Shall we change him and then hope for some more sleep" I say softly and he nods.
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"Here mama" he says softly passing me Henry. Jay retrieves a new nappy, and wipes.
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"We're going to need to bulk buy these" he smirks.
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"Oh I know" I laugh as he changes Henry and pops his sleep suit back on.
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"You're a natural too Jay" I say watching him walk around patting his back.
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"Not as good as you Taylor" he smiles when he falls back asleep.
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"I want to hold him" he smirks as he looks at him cuddling into his chest.
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"I know that but we have to get into good habits" I tell him with a wry smile. He places him down into the bedside crib and crawls in next to me. I pull the knitted blanket over Henry and snuggle up to Jay.
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"I love you mon amour" he whispers in my ear.
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"I love you" I say turning around to face him.
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"You're the most amazing woman on the planet" he smirks with a twinkle in his eyes.
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"Ohh what's all this about a clairvoyant" I ask him laughing. His head rolls back and he giggles.
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"Before we met, my mother dragged me to a fortune teller in Dubai" he laughs and I snicker.
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"I can imagine you enjoyed that" I laugh.
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"So we went into this little shack. The older lady who was the yogi or whatever, she read my palm and laid out some cards. She went on about finding love, about becoming a husband. And I was angry because I thought she was just telling my mother what she wanted to hear." He explains stroking my hair back.
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"But at the end she said my name, and she pointed out that the cards were in a capital t shape. My mother had not given her any information. I thought she was a crazy old lady" he laughs.
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"A capital t shape" I smile up at him.
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"Yes and then you came along" he tickles me.
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"Took me long enough to realise that the crazy old lady was genuine. So I need to go back and tip her. And show her you and my baby boy" he laughs and I kiss him on his lips.
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"Jay, I never want to be apart from you ever" I tell him meaning every single word.
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"Me too Taylor" he smiles stroking my hair.
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"I'm so proud of you" he whispers.
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"I'm so proud of you" I snicker back and he chuckles.
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"I need you to whip my ass back into shape though" I tell him laughing. Jay I've decided will be my personal trainer. He's got the body for it and I will be utilising his skills to be me again.
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"I'll be hitting that ass in more ways than one" he smirks squeezing my bum.
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"You're perfect" he smiles hands travelling over my hips.
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"I'm going to be ripped don't you worry" I smirk up at him. He chuckles and strokes my hair.
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"I'm surprised by how much has already gone" I smile looking down at myself. There's still a bump but it has reduced.
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"Oh Taylor don't worry too much" he smiles.
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"To me you are the epitome of beauty at all times and everybody else for that matter" he laughs.
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"Bloody Matthew" he smirks and I laugh.
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"I know I heard him telling me he loves me in front of Olivia" I roll my eyes.
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"That's going to be an awkward conversation for him" Jay laughs and I rest into his chest.
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"I told him he's not to say it again" I say softly.
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"Darn right." He smirks kissing my lips and pulling me into his chest where I fall asleep in his arms.
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***
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Your baby crying is a sound that can send you into utter panic when you are just waking up. However I calmly pick up Henry who is thrashing in his bedside crib. Blanket pulled off of him, in his little baby blue sleep suit. I hover him over the thing he needs, bobbies clearly, just like his father. And he begins suckling happily. Jay laughs sitting up and getting the burb cloth ready.
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"It's the most beautiful thing in the world" he says watching me feed our baby.
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"You're not in any discomfort are you" he asks and I smile.
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"I'm actually okay for now, just sore you know where" I explain and he strokes my arm.
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"Let's get checked and ask the professionals what you can take to be more comfortable" he suggests.
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"I'll also be hammering you to eat and drink you do know that right" he smiles and I glance up at him smirking.
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"Good morning daddy" I tell him smiling.
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"Good morning mama" he smiles as I hand him Henry and he burps him.
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Eternally grateful to my mother for bringing up all of babies clothes and presents, I grab a blue romper with boats on and lay it out for Henry. Jay insists I do what I need to do, so I head into the rain shower whilst he takes care of the baby.
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Standing under the pulsing water I glance down at my now flattening stomach and can't help but to miss pregnancy. And it sounds totally and utterly silly because I have a beautiful baby boy but I miss being pregnant. I miss the little bump and being the person carrying the future. I shed a few tears under the stream of the water.
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Washing out my hair with my shampoo I tell myself that I can do this. I'm a good mama, and I can get through the changes in my body. I lather in extra body oil today in order to feel more like myself, returning to the bedroom in my towel I smile at Jay who has changed baby and rocked him back to sleep.
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"You're something else" I smile at him as he approaches me slowly.
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"You look beautiful" he smiles stroking my wet hair back and I kiss him intensely.
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"I love you" I tell him as my eyes begin to water.
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"Oh hey what's up" he asks wiping my face, concern on his own.
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"Jay I'm happy, you're perfect. But I miss being pregnant" I say and he looks at me half confused.
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"I can't explain it okay, I just miss him being inside of me. I was used to it. I loved it" I say trying to fathom it all myself. His hands stroke up my back and he kisses me.
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"Well when it's safe to do so, how about I place another little baby inside of you" he whispers.
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I nod smiling up at him and he chuckles kissing down my neck.
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"Another little Henry or a baby girl" he smiles his infectious grin and I find myself laughing.
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I glance over at Henry safely sleeping tucked into the bedside crib and curse myself for crying on a morning where I have everything in my life. A gorgeous husband who is more than capable of looking after our baby and pulling his fair share if not more. I glance down and he's packed a duffle with spare clothes, bibs and dummies. Henry suckles on a blue dummy and I decide to get myself dressed, it will make me feel better.
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Glancing out at the sunshine and the cloudless sky I decide a breastfeeding friendly skirt and camisole is most likely the best option. California is warm, Henry is a summer baby and I think about all of the birthday BBQs to come. Pulling out a flowing maxi skirt in a cherry red colour from the walk in wardrobe and a matching strappy camisole I glance at Henry again, to check on him. I had assumed that he would wake up, I slip on my slides and scrunch my hair to encourage it to curl.
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I even find time for my makeup routine before Jay dries off and pulls on a black Armani T-shirt and some shorts. I ogle him and he smirks ogling me right back.
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"I want you" he whispers in my ear hands feeling up my silky skirt and then resting on my chin.
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"Can we try quickly" I whisper in his ear and he watches me intently. I glance at Henry who is busy sucking on his dummy.
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Jay unbuttons his jeans and I watch him smirking, I hike my skirt up and he catches his breath.
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"If it hurts tell me" he whispers before very slowly taking me on the bed. I lay back and close my eyes and smile.
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"Does it feel okay" he asks me, concern behind his ragged breath.
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"Yes" I sigh looking into his eyes.
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"I missed you in the shower" he whispers going slow.
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"I missed you" I whisper as he lowers his body onto me.
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"How lucky I am" he smiles kissing my neck and down to my cleavage.
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"My wife and my little baby" he smirks as he thrusts into me. The sun beaming through the voiles around us. I hold his hips into me as we finish and his lips crash into my own.
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"We just did that" I smirk up at him.
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"Unprotected" I smirk and he chuckles.
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"Mmmhmmm" he mutters
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"So we did" he sighs smiling. I kiss him softly and he helps me back off of the bed. Cradling my sleepy little boy in my arms we finally leave the bedroom to parade little Henry around again before our guests leave.
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