Taylor's POV
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Honestly it's gruelling, to be the one holding everything together. I watch Jay now, and realise that he has been my rock for so long. He has held everything in place without breaking so much as a sweat and now that he cannot I'm finally appreciating just how much he has always done. With his white shirt unbuttoned and the black tie pulled out of the knot as he sits speaking with Matthew at the table. The sun fully set behind them as Rachel drinks wine and laps up the affection of Christopher. Watching them as a woman I cannot help but to mourn the closeness of her husband, the way he would always be so present. For now though I stand at the gas stove watching the pasta boil and focusing on the bubbling water.
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Pacing through the glass double doors onto the veranda I watch as Matthew and Jay glance up at me whilst I serve up the bruschetta, olives and pasta arrabatia with a keen smile. Wondering what they may have been discussing, something that they immediately ceased the conversation on when I was in ear shot.
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I grasp Henry from his bassinet and finally take a seat at the table looking over at the pool. Claire thanks me dearly and so does my own mother for the meal. My mother offering me some rest bite from Henry as she extends her arms for him with a smile.
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"Thank you" I whisper scooping my hair back and removing the long silk gloves, feeling far too hot from even the setting sun here in Italy. I decide should anybody glare at the marks on my forearms I'll give them my best stare until they look away. It was an honest mistake, quite frankly I should not have rushed him into sexual intercourse so soon after all of that tragedy. However the markings are extensive, like rings of bruises up my arms where he had gripped onto me. Despite the flashbacks I experience, or the nightmares that wake me up in a sweat worrying that I am trapped again. I am in no immediate danger with Jay, he is my husband. And the best example of one that there ever was.
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"My darling thank you" he whispers softly brushing my arm with his fingertips before he tucks into his food.
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"You're welcome" I murmur softly watching my mother cooing Henry. He has spent a fair bit of time with my mother since the death of Andrew Gilbert Scott. We felt it would be inappropriate to take him to the funeral and so my mother has looked after him all day, still she sits enthralled by him and his keen blue eyes as he looks up at her.
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"He's so gorgeous" Rachel remarks as Henry lets out a little noise and my mother talks away to him.
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"He's a very good boy" Evelyn, my mother, explains looking up at me.
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"Not even a peep from him, I stuck to feeding him every couple of hours and he's been very happy" she surmises as I feel my nerves begin to settle. Imagining my mother staying for longer, so that we can bond over my charming little baby boy in the Italian sunshine. I glance at his white and blue romper and smile as she heads into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of milk. Her curls over her back as she sways around the kitchen.
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"You have a stash of breast milk he will not go without" she says warming up the milk with him over her shoulder as he waits chewing his hands. His expression and wonderful blue eyes making him look more and more like Jay.
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Rachel smiles passing me the bottle of red from the centre of the table, eyeing my arm just briefly as I grasp a glass and pour myself a mocktail instead.
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"Oh yeah you're up the duff again" she exclaims and I smirk as Jay embraces me.
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"You guys do not hang about do you!?" Rachel smirks at Jay.
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"How's your arm in the sling" she asks, never has Rachel beaten around the bush about anything. I notice Jay shuffle uncomfortably and decide to brush over the question so as not to bring up the whole ordeal again.
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"It's fine honestly" I smile softly before scooping up my pasta and eating.
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"God how did they do it at the hospital what with you being pregnant" Rachel asks and I squirm slightly remembering the kind doctor slotting my arm back in place. The knocking sound of the bones jutting back into place.
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"You can have a local anaesthetic just not a general in pregnancy" Matthew declares as Christopher nods, his usual brunette hair looking a sandy blonde colour since being in the sun.
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"So that means my shoulder was numb and they basically just physically push your arm back into the socket" I say calmly as Rachel squeals and Christopher hugs her.
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"I've never dislocated or broken anything" she giggles and I smile slightly as Jay strokes my arm softly.
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"Oh I have" Ross laughs and I chortle looking up at him and mentally thanking him for taking over the conversation for me. I watch as he scoops his blonde hair back and launches into a conversation surrounding the many injuries he has sustained through various car and bike accidents. Christopher nods along amused as Rachel fills in parts of the stories.
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The palpable tension between Matthew and Jay distracts me, it's in the way they look at each other every so often. The way Jay sets his brandy down rather forcefully and how Matthew looks up at him with an expression of annoyance.
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"So when I fell off my bike" Ross begins as he winks at me briefly and I smile looking away from the chagrin on Matthew’s face.
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"Taylor found me and her and Jay took me to the hospital. Then later" he says lifting his shorts up to reveal the tribal tattoos on his thigh.
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"Taylor and I got tattoos done. Mine over my thigh to cover the scars" he says as I remember the day we drove out together and I impulsively had myself inked.
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"What did you get Taylor" Chris asks and I smile.
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"I got a treble clef on my ribs, musical notation. It was a little bit of a whim but I do love it" I say softly as Ross laughs his head rocking back.
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"She was a lot calmer than me whilst getting hers done" he laughs and I giggle.
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"I had to hold his hand" I laugh and Christopher smiles.
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"You've got a whole load man" Christopher says eyeing Jay, as I stare up at his glistening blue eyes I catch a glimpse of my loving husband with a smile spread over his lips. I decidedly top up his glass with brandy and he strokes my thigh. His white shirt open revealing the collection of tatoos on his chest.
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"He's got a wave on his hip bone" I say quickly making Rachel laugh.
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"I remember the wave" she laughs and I giggle trying not to think about the time that Jay and Rachel were a couple. Imagining Jay with any other woman is difficult.
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"The wave is a surfers tattoo" he begins seriously and I tickle him.
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"My favourite ones are these" he says pulling his wedding rings off, looking at his hands instantly reminds me of our time in Australia. When he took me to bars before proposing to me on a beach. His face a picture as he looked up at me from kneeling in the sand in the light of the setting sun.
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"It's us" I say softly holding onto his fingers and my initials tattooed around his wedding finger.
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"Man that's nice" Christopher smiles drinking brandy.
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"Taylor has the same but with my initials" Jay says softly holding onto my hands.
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Christopher and Rachel discuss matching tattoo ideas for the wedding as Jay stands briefly to take his mother up to bed. Claire has not spoken since the burial, I notice how he holds onto her delicately and helps her into the house. Before disappearing into the hall.
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"You should probably tell me what's got you both angry with one another" I whisper to Matthew as he looks up from his finished plate of food. One hand holding onto his brandy as he eyes me.
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"Nothing Taylor honestly" he smirks sipping brandy and smiling over at me.
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"Anybody want devils food cake, I made it the other day for the christening" I announce looking at him pointedly and standing up.
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"Yes please Taylor" Ross says softly, resting my eyes over the others as they smile tipsily.
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"You are helping me" I say to Matthew as he eyes me lounging back in his chair.
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"On it" he laughs collecting up the plates and following me through the double doors, I figure I can easily get the information I need from Matthew. I so desperately must know what they were avidly discussing before dinner, and a little charm goes a long way with Matthew.
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He follows me through to the pantry, down the wooden steps and when I'm sure we're out of ear shot of the others I turn on him. Facing him in the darkness of the cellar, the racks of spices and herbs just behind us. The wooden racks containing all of our produce and just beyond it the winery.
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"Go on spill" I mutter as he looks at me incredulously.
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"What has got you both so annoyed with one another" I say softly, when he looks at me quizzically I decide that he's not going to divulge anything without my illustrious charm.
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"Matthew" I whisper as he practically giggles feeling my hands go up his shirt in the dark.
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"Taylor be fair" he says when I brush his hair back with my hand staring into his eyes. I'm so fed up of men devising plans for me and my life behind my back. And quite frankly I would like to know exactly what they have discussed.
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"Please Matthew" I whisper softly my hand going down his back as he quivers slightly.
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"Well" he begins as I nearly lose all patience, looking over at him in the dark. His body in my hands.
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"It seems that Jay has his own plans when it comes to taking you away again" he murmurs as I stare blankly at him and he half smiles.
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"Already booked" he whispers in my ear seizing all of the control back and grasping my body in his hands.
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"Already booked?" I ask him in a whisper, my tone full of shock and surprise.
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“So at least I ask your permission first right before I plan to put you on a plane" he says softly in my ear as I stand utterly still in his arms.
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"He wouldn't book without asking me first" I say softly as Matthew shakes his head.
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"Seems to me he would" he whispers as I take a step back from him before he kisses me.
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"Where" I ask him stunned as I make out his dark features in the low light of the cellar.
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"Dubai" he mutters as my mind travels over the whole thing, the business and how it is in Jay's sole hands now. Surely he would ask me first, before sweeping me away from my friends and family. From our forever home here in Italy. Surely it was at least worth a discussion.
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"Offers still there" Matthew whispers grasping my hand.
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"Paris or London, anywhere you choose" he whispers before guiding me back up to the kitchen.
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"I mean it Taylor" he whispers as we emerge from the steps of the cellar into the brightly lit kitchen. I go through the motions of cutting the cake whilst he retrieves the bowls. Imagining Jay booking plane tickets without even considering me first is pretty out of character for him. The duration of time we’re supposed to be away for is something I have no idea of either.
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The layers of chocolate cake and the rich icing go down a treat even as I spend the rest of the evening pondering the notion of being without my mother, without our friends. Imagining him attending business meetings all day whilst I’d roam the beaches of Dubai. Imagining telling my mom that I’m leaving imminently, explaining to Rachel that I won’t see her until her wedding. I look over at him having a laugh with Christopher, drinking brandy and I cannot get my head around it.
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“You all good” Rachel asks me softly taking a seat on the lounger next to mine as I breastfeed Henry.
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“Yes, no” I say conflicted as I gaze down at Henry before meeting her eyes. She nods thinking before sipping her wine.
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“Why yes and why no” she asks softly looking at Henry and smiling.
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“Yes because I’m happy here, with you guys. With my family around me. With my baby. And I’m glad that Jay is smiling.” I explain looking up at him wistfully as he catches my eye and smiles genuinely.
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“No because…” I say falling over all of the reasons in my mind and trying to work out which one to say first.
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“No because of what happened.” I begin and she nods empathetically.
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“That’s a given” she says and I nod as she assesses me slowly.
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“What else?” She asks me watching me look out over the water.
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“Matthew blew up because of this” I say nodding to my sling.
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“He asked me to get away with him for a month. I refused.” I whisper in her ear as she gasps, moving back and looking at me incredulously.
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“He also just told me that Jay has already booked tickets for himself and me and Henry for Dubai without my knowing” I whisper again as she takes a huge gulp of her wine.
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“That’s very heavy handed” she nods looking up briefly at Matthew who’s watching me. He turns to Ross and engages him in conversation whilst sipping another drink.
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“Look Taylor. I think you either look at it as like a nice little holiday. Or you lay down the law.” She smirks looking at me.
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“Lay down the law!?” I giggle lifting Henry up and burping him.
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“It’s a two way street. You don’t wanna go? Then you tell Jay straight. Chris and I have no plans we can stay here and help out. You do not need Matthew going on about taking you places either I’m here.” She says earnestly, rolling her eyes.
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“Where did he say he’d take you” she giggles rolling her eyes again.
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“Paris or London or anywhere far away” I sigh as she rocks her head back laughing.
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“Lord Taylor, Matthew” she laughs as I hand her Henry and readjust my dress.
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“What” I say softly glancing across the veranda at him briefly in his shirt and tie, brunette locks pushed back.
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“That man is never going to get over you” she whispers and I sigh.
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“I know in some ways and I’ve told him this, I value having him in my life. But I just hate that he’s not moving on” I tell her.
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“No darling that is not your fault, he chooses to stick around” she smiles at me holding Henry in her arms as he drifts off to sleep.
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“He could be anywhere in this world” she says gazing at him briefly and how he talks easily with Ross.
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“And Ross” I say softly looking at him from afar with his sweeping blonde locks and tanned skin.
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“Should be married to a model by now” I chuckle as she giggles.
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“Tell me about it!” She retorts as Jay approaches us and she stands to hand him Henry.
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“I’ll take him up” he smiles down at me, as I tell him I’ll be right behind him. I watch him and his broad shoulders walking off into our home and sigh slightly. Before looking back into Rachel’s blues green eyes and smiling.
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“Lay down the law” Rachel smiles at me as I scoff collecting up glasses to be taken inside to the dishwasher.
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“You’re his wife and not his possession” she insists helping me to remove the bowls from the patio table. We take them in and I load the dishwasher as she loungers under the chandelier finishing off her glass of wine.
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“You’re a darn good wife at that” she smiles as I stand collecting myself together.
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“I am aren’t I” I smile and she nods reassuringly.
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“You’re what Taylor” Ross laughs slightly drunkenly, Chris and Matthew following him in the kitchen.
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“Taylor is a darn good wife” Rachel says enthusiastically as Chris wraps his arms around her, and I smile at how affectionate he is with her.
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“Blimey” Ross jibes laughing slightly.
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“Taylor, let’s be honest, now we all know I’ve proposed to you before” he jibes as Christopher gasps and Rachel mouths the words it’s true.
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“And you know what you’re an even better woman than I’d ever imagined” he smiles softly placing the brandy bottle back in the drinks cupboard.
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“That man up there would have been lost without you. You’re well…” he says thinking before he finishes his sentence and we all begin walking through the hall, the ornate architecture of our home astounds me every time I walk through the grande hallway. The console tables and the sweeping marble staircase.
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“You’re the ultimate woman” he finishes and I laugh out loud unable to contain my humour.
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“Thanks Ross” I smirk as he laughs.
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“You guys are telling me the story of when Ross proposed some other time when we aren’t quite this drunk” Christopher laughs looking at Rachel.
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“It’s quite a corker” Matthew chuckles before we all say goodnight and I head to the master bedroom to my husband and baby.
