Taylor's POV
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpbOe8sO00
Matthew has just left me breathless at my dining table. I stare up at the chandelier and count up to ten, and back down from ten. Several times. I've let him kiss me enough. I will not sleep with him, and have sex with him. Kissing is too far already.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAtWU878ty
I glance out of the window. Counting up and down from ten. I will gather myself together. He is wonderful, yes. I know his body, yes. I lose myself in his eyes, his stare. The chemistry we used to feel, before all of the complications, has reignited over a matter of days. And I curse myself for allowing him so close to me. I curse myself for being so open and accommodating. I hate myself for pulling him in.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6eQU7z6Pd
Ten, nine, eight...
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYrigpCvfJ
"Tay" he whispers and I turn around slowly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESiKChleQO
"Could you just" he whispers, he's grabbed his sketch book and laid it out. I feel mildly embarrassed, how long has he been here whilst I've been catching my breath looking out of the window?
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMXLGnRsIy
"Stand like side on" he says softly, and I comprehend that he is indeed talking to me.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCnUJ4yRDk
"I want to just make sure I'm getting something right" he adds and I do as he asks.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPZsFIOGPU
Standing side on, watching him shade and contour on the page. He looks back assessing and then looks at me. Eyes shooting to mine just briefly and smiling.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUlwn8r3ah
"Won't be long" he laughs and I smirk.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAm0uT3b3J
He continues drawing and I just watch him. He's concentrating making sure that he gets it right. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he looks up at the picture and smiles. Sips his red wine and stands up.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfKwTdcoWp
Silently he walks over to me, the air charged between us. Once he reaches me he gazes down at the picture and then he looks up at me. Grins and hands me the paper.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xKstb1JbW
"This is how I see you" he whispers.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm2hu6x2ot
I gaze down at my portrait, taking in the fine detail of his drawing. The shading and the depth he has given to my eyes. The wonder in my expression, and the long waves of my hair. I am side on as if I'm laying down next to him in bed. Bump included in the drawing, my hands cradling underneath my tummy.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nPb2g7FdN
I look up at him, he's anticipating my reaction. Waiting to see if I approve. I stare up into his eyes and the tears begin to fall from my own.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeU572mQBI
"It's beautiful" I say.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1s5IHEoHa
"Because it's you" he says softly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSITf2ypfD
I look down at the drawing again, take in the emotion he has captured behind my eyes and I'm astounded.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtB9rzUFp4
"Thank you" I say looking up at him again.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EfZupE18C
"Not at all. I told you. You give me reason to draw" he smiles and I clear my throat. No more kissing, I tell myself. Your husband is home tomorrow. I remind myself.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN9n1IcUY6
"I love it, and I love that you included my body, like bump I mean" I say to him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbL4PAwEiH
He smiles and his hands go over bump.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuatUdmtQs
"There's one more thing" he says slowly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6s6vvKIRou
"Before Jay comes back" he adds and I try to steady my breathing.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto2aiVQWzg
"I want to dance with you again, hold you" he says whispering in my ear.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRFgQtVjPk
"Please" he adds and my heart won't let me protest.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubyWpmDEhA
I smile and he gazes down at me.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrduxa5CK2h
"There's a music system" I say quietly. I remove myself from his arms turn on the speaker. It connects to Bluetooth, and my iPhone. My playlist begins and I walk back over to him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Tuy1FyX8D
He takes me in his arms and sways with me. The dinner plates still on the table, a bottle of wine and a portrait of me.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xsvsF5H0H
"You are perfectly safe with me" he says slowly and I look back assessing him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdauFFBjn2P
"You" he says slowly, looking at me gauging my reactions.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8sPhX2LD1
"Are set here, with Jay. But" he says slowly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuNGi5qHGn
"We" he says emphasising the word.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDR9bERoiPe
"We are supposed to be" he whispers.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaxo68geJc
I look down at his chest, evaluate what he means and sigh. His hands on my back clasping me into him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpcR9LO8AM
"I have to say something to him" I say softly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxhb6ByHcc
He dips my chin up to his, a look of love on his face.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizTcZtgn7c
"What are you thinking of saying" he replies holding my jaw lightly in his fingertips.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TtnC4tqSB
"That we've been close to each other, it will drive him into utter rage. But isn't it the right thing to do" I say looking at his eyes.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMKQZnaz14
He shakes his head.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFeA11pBwe
"Do you want me to leave here with a black eye" he laughs and he stokes down my neck hands joining at my lower back again.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPiIuMbGEm
"No" I say more lightly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItmJYVgPt7
"Let's just stick to" he begins looking up at the chandelier and then back down at me in my nightshirt.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWLWNvDjnM
"Matthew came along, he was an utter gentlemen. He slept in the spare room. Used the bathroom on floor three" he laughs.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpp4oCelcL
"He even drove his own car not one of yours, Jay" he chuckles.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaitlOsSUp0
"You don't want me to say anything" I say.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8UY3gxbad
"Not at all" he whispers.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpdeYeQ5F4
"I understand if you do of course. But I think we just keep this for us" he says softly.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQZkHZAOK3
"Momentary" he whispers.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSthdd41zCy
I look down into his chest and rest my head lightly on it.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCOevLjUdT
"We can have this time again" he whispers very quietly. And I register exactly what he is alluding to. Am I to be one of those women, married but stealing moments with another?
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiIjeK5ADF
Is that fair on Matthew or anybody within this doomed situation? Surely not, I push the thoughts away and wait for the song to end so that I can disentangle myself from him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5czgSYlci
He holds me, quietly and I rest into him closing my eyes. Two songs later and I'm finally ready to pull myself away from him.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2XY04TncM
I can manage but one word which I whisper to Matthew.
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5sIJ3F9ki
“Bed” I say softly and he chuckles as we head upstairs.
ns13.58.29.69da2
