Taylor's POV
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNnXIOgX8C
Matthew has just left me breathless at my dining table. I stare up at the chandelier and count up to ten, and back down from ten. Several times. I've let him kiss me enough. I will not sleep with him, and have sex with him. Kissing is too far already.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bEbiuIWXJ
I glance out of the window. Counting up and down from ten. I will gather myself together. He is wonderful, yes. I know his body, yes. I lose myself in his eyes, his stare. The chemistry we used to feel, before all of the complications, has reignited over a matter of days. And I curse myself for allowing him so close to me. I curse myself for being so open and accommodating. I hate myself for pulling him in.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GerQrXEbn
Ten, nine, eight...
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYsMQMDBWK
"Tay" he whispers and I turn around slowly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD6VoirYvN
"Could you just" he whispers, he's grabbed his sketch book and laid it out. I feel mildly embarrassed, how long has he been here whilst I've been catching my breath looking out of the window?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePp7m63AnJ
"Stand like side on" he says softly, and I comprehend that he is indeed talking to me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I6Ur9Y9th
"I want to just make sure I'm getting something right" he adds and I do as he asks.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3P62rVI6E
Standing side on, watching him shade and contour on the page. He looks back assessing and then looks at me. Eyes shooting to mine just briefly and smiling.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwOAX6iCgZ
"Won't be long" he laughs and I smirk.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsavWJNptJA
He continues drawing and I just watch him. He's concentrating making sure that he gets it right. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he looks up at the picture and smiles. Sips his red wine and stands up.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCgiqBcwLw
Silently he walks over to me, the air charged between us. Once he reaches me he gazes down at the picture and then he looks up at me. Grins and hands me the paper.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbcnMbHYX1
"This is how I see you" he whispers.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv0ShhkU1n
I gaze down at my portrait, taking in the fine detail of his drawing. The shading and the depth he has given to my eyes. The wonder in my expression, and the long waves of my hair. I am side on as if I'm laying down next to him in bed. Bump included in the drawing, my hands cradling underneath my tummy.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo7QrDJqmQ
I look up at him, he's anticipating my reaction. Waiting to see if I approve. I stare up into his eyes and the tears begin to fall from my own.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQIRUJSmEp
"It's beautiful" I say.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzxyU8dc8B
"Because it's you" he says softly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKGqyiVs3f
I look down at the drawing again, take in the emotion he has captured behind my eyes and I'm astounded.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJN3m0LL50A
"Thank you" I say looking up at him again.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBjKPiOOI1
"Not at all. I told you. You give me reason to draw" he smiles and I clear my throat. No more kissing, I tell myself. Your husband is home tomorrow. I remind myself.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0lk08h0ub
"I love it, and I love that you included my body, like bump I mean" I say to him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr98xpW6BT
He smiles and his hands go over bump.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabCghPOPmZ
"There's one more thing" he says slowly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yexCBAKj6
"Before Jay comes back" he adds and I try to steady my breathing.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzwYWghA6j
"I want to dance with you again, hold you" he says whispering in my ear.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0yJ2hsxbc
"Please" he adds and my heart won't let me protest.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrp5kGMHST
I smile and he gazes down at me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVtcW53Azh
"There's a music system" I say quietly. I remove myself from his arms turn on the speaker. It connects to Bluetooth, and my iPhone. My playlist begins and I walk back over to him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0IOQllAPf
He takes me in his arms and sways with me. The dinner plates still on the table, a bottle of wine and a portrait of me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLph0TOWs3z
"You are perfectly safe with me" he says slowly and I look back assessing him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5dCaDU48E
"You" he says slowly, looking at me gauging my reactions.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WIMSSj5pp
"Are set here, with Jay. But" he says slowly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEH6GRM2Fy
"We" he says emphasising the word.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuXEkuhiBE
"We are supposed to be" he whispers.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYGFllF1Zj
I look down at his chest, evaluate what he means and sigh. His hands on my back clasping me into him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR8UjGSmSu
"I have to say something to him" I say softly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXVZ8n7Or8
He dips my chin up to his, a look of love on his face.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4VD1W8GOE
"What are you thinking of saying" he replies holding my jaw lightly in his fingertips.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtdhxlTYFw
"That we've been close to each other, it will drive him into utter rage. But isn't it the right thing to do" I say looking at his eyes.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs554wEfwqa
He shakes his head.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfiX1fOySP
"Do you want me to leave here with a black eye" he laughs and he stokes down my neck hands joining at my lower back again.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxAmYZJ7Vh
"No" I say more lightly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ470UHZiNkr
"Let's just stick to" he begins looking up at the chandelier and then back down at me in my nightshirt.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT3j0sNw8E
"Matthew came along, he was an utter gentlemen. He slept in the spare room. Used the bathroom on floor three" he laughs.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLd2mDLic6
"He even drove his own car not one of yours, Jay" he chuckles.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYscHKD4GJd
"You don't want me to say anything" I say.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDMyRQqcBa
"Not at all" he whispers.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGd70Gcc11g
"I understand if you do of course. But I think we just keep this for us" he says softly.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2N7dtVdJys
"Momentary" he whispers.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUzgUkyYco
I look down into his chest and rest my head lightly on it.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpEXPfZYHh
"We can have this time again" he whispers very quietly. And I register exactly what he is alluding to. Am I to be one of those women, married but stealing moments with another?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0kWxTTqmi
Is that fair on Matthew or anybody within this doomed situation? Surely not, I push the thoughts away and wait for the song to end so that I can disentangle myself from him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjCcRz9pNg
He holds me, quietly and I rest into him closing my eyes. Two songs later and I'm finally ready to pull myself away from him.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQa6dztsN1c
I can manage but one word which I whisper to Matthew.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshx2pryey0
“Bed” I say softly and he chuckles as we head upstairs.
ns3.14.134.193da2
