Matty's POV
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Her eyes have been flirting with me. Just every now and then driving me crazy; making me desire her even more. Blue eyes staring into my green ones; flirting with the idea of being mine even just temporarily.
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There are zero distractions, if I can just communicate with her, get her to take a chance with me. Then maybe, just maybe we can start clawing back what we had.
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All logic and honour goes out of the window with her on top of me, her hands on my chest and the white shirt riding up her bare thighs.
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She sighs and rests her head down on my chest, I place my hand on her hips circling them around to bump and back again. The fact that we weren't able to have this when we were pregnant, is making me crave having these moments even more. Thoughts of how this isn't my baby or my wife provoke me. And I push Jay back out of my brain, not now. Let me dream with her for a moment longer.
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She lays on my chest and I can feel her boobs pressing against me, her legs tucked in under her and my hands just holding on. I watch her closely; her eyes closing, breathing me in and smiling.
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I'm certain that I will be carrying her up to bed like I always used to, and nothing feels better and more right.
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"Matthew" she mutters sleepily and I feel her lips briefly caress my chest.
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"Don't leave me alone all night long" she whispers not looking at me and I stroke her hair back. I feel her tears roll onto my chest as she sobs and I won't ever leave her.
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"Please" she says looking up at me when I don't answer.
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Jay outlined to me that he expected me to sleep in their spare room. He was pretty clear, his piecing blue eyes watching my reactions to see my intentions. However I didn't imagine Taylor asking me to hold her all night long, and her tears. Jay's eyes long gone from my thoughts I lift her up and she looks at my face softly.
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"I think we ought to keep this just between us" I whisper. Carrying her upstairs, she nods at me.
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"Straight down" she mutters as I carry her down the hall. It just goes on and on, works of art and mirrors, console tables with fancy glass vases until finally we reach the double doors. Maroon walls which would normally feel claustrophobic, but due to the vastness of the space it's feels grande instead. The walls lined with fabric wallpaper, to my left I glance over the handrail looking down over to the marble foyer below. My first thought is how ever will they buy a baby gate that fits a double winding staircase.
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Opening the large wooden double doors I peer into the bedroom, remembering it from parties. Just before they got married Taylor hosted a risqué party with our close friends, we broke the rules and with Jay present I had sex with her on this bed.
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This four poster king sized bed. I take in the dark oak and the many cream voiles surrounding the posts. The cream satin sheets contrasting with the duck egg blue walls. The wallpaper is expensive, again fabrics and silks.
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A full wall of windows looks out over the grounds and she smiles up at me, pulling me into her personal space.
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"Nobody can see in" she whispers in my ear and it sends shivers through me.
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I lay her down on the bed and she crawls under the covers, I can't help but to watch her. I begin climbing in next to her and she looks at me quizzically.
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"Jeans Matty honestly" she smirks.
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"I'm sorry I just thought I'd be on my own so I didn't bring anything" I say, I'm not totally lying. I did want to sleep next to her. I just couldn't imagine it would happen.
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"I won't grab you" she promises me chuckling.
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"Get comfy otherwise you won't sleep" she says watching me stand back up.
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"Oh and en-suite is right through that door" she says looking towards the far wall which has two doors, sectioned between them is a large ornate dresser.
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I pull my jeans off as she's turning back to look at me. She takes in my chest and boxers and I slide into the duvet next to her, instantly noticing how soft and heavy the comforter is. It's clear Jay has spent a lot of money on all of the things he owns in this home. Theres a matching quilt which compliments the duvet, and I pull it up around us. It's heavy and soft.
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Surprisingly she turns to face me, I had assumed she would turn over. I take in her blue eyes looking back at me. The way her brunette hair bunches up, and her cream skin. A sight that I have truly missed. I keep my pelvis pulled away from her. This bed is huge and it's easy to keep a distance between us, I bunch up the cover and create a wall between her body and my own. Jay can't say I haven't at least tried here.
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"I'm worried" she says softly looking at me.
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"Wanna tell me all about it" I say looking at her and I edge just ever so slightly closer to her, call it a reflex.
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"I'm worried for no reason that Ross will somehow deteriorate and I'm worried that something could happen to Jay" she says softly and I can't help it I end up stroking her face.
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"Okay here's what I know. Firstly is that planes are the safest way to travel" I tell her wiping her tears away and she smiles lightly.
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"Secondly" I say pulling her close to me.
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"Is that Ross is pulling through. He spoke to us, he laughed. He noticed things around the room he was super aware Taylor" I explain.
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"But what if he can't walk" she says and I hadn't thought about any complications.
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"Then we will look after him" I say and I mean it.
Yes I fought Ross, but this is on me. I love him like a brother.
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"I will adopt him I swear to God Matty" she says and I chuckle not doubting it for a minute.
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"Let's see how it goes take each day as it comes and work out a plan" I say and before I've even realised it she's in my arms. I'm pulling her in to me and the blanket has flattened out. So much for my little wall of defence.
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I hug her, and she sobs a little more. I'm holding her all night long I've decided. Resting her hands on my chest I fall for her over and over again. And even though I've been more physical with her, this is somehow more intimate.
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"Look I won't let anything else happen, I care too much for you to be upset anymore" I say and her body is so close to mine.
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"Tomorrow" I say softly stroking her hair, my other hand stroking her back.
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"I'm gonna drive us back to the hospital, and you'll hear from Jay and realise he's absolutely fine. Ross will be making jokes and all will be okay" I tell her and she stops crying.
She looks up at me reassured and I pull her head back into my chest. As soon as she drifts off I tell her that I love her, just wishing that I could say it to her whilst she is awake.
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