Matty's POV
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"I know I just didn't know what to do" I tell her and she's pretty much yelling at me down the phone, I move it slightly away from my ear. That's better.
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This is exactly why I wanted to call Taylor, and not Rachel. I sip my coffee, it’s helping me to wake up.
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"Matthew. My lord. What the!? How has he managed that. Literally what the" she screams in shock. Rachel feels things intensely I tell myself, it's not her fault.
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"Have you told Taylor" she demands.
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"I've just spoken with her, weird thing is it's like she already knew" I say confused and seriously, seriously tired.
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"What do you even mean she already knew she's across the whole entire continent" she shouts.
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"No, I mean if you'll let me finish" I say.
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"That she had some weird dream shit about him being in trouble last night" I say.
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"They were off grid but she made Jay fly her to the nearest I don't know whatever I can't think right now" I say completely done with the stress.
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"I'm coming now" she declares and I imagine her pulling Nate by his collar and demanding he drives her.
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"Got it" I say, there is little point in arguing with her when she is set on something. I place the phone down on the little wooden table and put my head in my hands. My backpack at my feet, with clothes and a toothbrush in for the night. I’ve changed into a black t shirt and a new pair of forest green chinos, washed up in the hospital and grabbed a few paperbacks from the little shop in case he wakes up. I scrape my hands all the way through my hair and look up, the light is too bright for me and I wish I had sunglasses. I sip my black coffee and wait.
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Hospitals are places where everybody waits I’ve decided. Just endless waiting for news, for progress, for help and even for the end.
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I watch as a couple walks through the main doors. The guy a few years older than me, his partner a few years younger. Her clasping her waist and him guiding her through, no doubt to the maternity ward.
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I push my hair back again thoughts of Taylor and the pregnancy fill my head. How we were together, her needing me all of the time. Just the thought of her carrying my child.
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In the most bizarre way, Jay alluding to me looking after things whilst he’s away, has put me right back into that situation. I’ve imagined caring for her during late pregnancy, helping her with the new baby, it doesn’t make me jealous at all. It makes me needy, it makes me want her more.
And it’s obscene that I’m living in this make believe world where I pretend that she is mine, that what is his is mine.
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We didn’t exceed the first trimester when she was carrying our child. Our baby unfortunately miscarried and we were left dealing with the aftermath. Waiting for a resolution. And waiting for everything to be okay again. I am still waiting.
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“Matthew right” a calm voice says and I glance up.
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The female in front of me smiles, and it takes me a few moments to remember who she is. Her name? What was her name again? Somehow I can only remember her red hair and the soft curve of her lips.
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“Olivia” she says unfazed merely reminding me.
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“You on your break?” I ask. Olivia is the nurse I bumped into last night, Olivia needs to leave me alone. I am unstable enough to ingratiate myself into her life.
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“I am” she says confidently.
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“Then you should probably sit” I say and I wink at her.
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She pulls the chair out across from me, and looks directly into my eyes. Why is she doing this to herself, is it not obvious I’m in a bad place? Is that not enough reason to stay away?
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“So what do you do, it’s clear I’m a nurse. I’d like to know what you do” she says directly, has she no social skills?
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I push my brunette hair back, give her some eye contact it softens her. Just ever so slightly.
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“Look Olivia” I begin softly.
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“I’m in a bit of a muddle right now. Lots going on. You know. Thanks for helping me out but I’m not like ready to be” I begin and I’m softening the blow with my eyes, and my charm.
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“Jeez I just asked you what you do” she laughs.
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“What’s your muddle then? What’s going on?” She asks.
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“From one human to another” she says and she winks at me. I sigh and put my coffee down, this woman does not quit.
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“Okay what would you like you’re gonna need a coffee at least” I say standing up before her.
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Her green eyes, which are a shade lighter than mine, rake over my chest and she loses herself momentarily.
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“Latte please” she says and if she wasn’t quite so pale, if her hair wasn’t red people would think us related.
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“Got it” I say and I head on over to the counter. It’s a chain coffee shop and they are earning a pretty penny being on site at a hospital. The queues are horrendous and I just know she’s looking at me the whole time. I can feel those green eyes watching me.
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“Black coffee please and a latte” I ask the barista and in my sleep deprived brain I register that I haven’t ordered a drink for a girl, other than Taylor, in years.
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I carry the hot mugs over to the table and set hers down in front of her.
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“Okay we’re even now, I helped you out, you bought me a latte” she smiles sipping her drink.
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“Are your eyes naturally green” I ask before I stop myself.
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“What a bizarre question” she laughs.
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“These are my very own eyes. Are yours naturally green ?” she laughs.
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“Yes sorry, I’m tired and not the best conversationalist right now” I say and I chuckle.
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“So what is it then” she asks and it looks like she doesn’t forget things easily, my distraction techniques don’t work on her. I move my hair away from my eyes. I still wear the ring myself and Taylor picked out, on my wedding finger, Olivia clocks it. When we were dating I bought Taylor an eternity ring, and I got this ring that I have never removed.
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“My friend got involved in a car accident, he’s in the ICU. And my ex just married my best friend” I say being strictly honest with her.
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She looks down at her latte, and to give her credit she stays. She doesn’t get up and walk off like she probably should. She just waits for more.
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“So what’s the prognosis” she asks.
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“My friend, he broke his ribs, his arm, tailbone” I tell her and she nods.
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“I’m sorry, that’s a fair bit of recovery. And your ex?” She says and I’m going off her already. She watches me.
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“Married, pregnant” I comment.
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“I’m sorry, Matthew” she tells me.
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“Matty call me Matty” I say, only Taylor and my mum call me Matthew.
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“I ugh would like to give you something” she announces and I look up at her as if she is crazy.
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“My number” she says handing me a scrap piece of paper.
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“I’m not like ready” I say looking over at her.
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“And that is for when you are, ready” she smiles.
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“Why?” I ask her bewildered.
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“Because you are drop dead hot sexy. And I just got a feeling, it’s different. So yeah there’s me putting myself out there. On a whim.” She smiles.
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“Look Olivia you’re wonderful…” I begin.
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“Don’t say but” she says.
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“Leave it at that” she says softly and as she tucks her hair behind her ear I see a softer side to her. A side that is vulnerable and delicate. She looks up at me with hard eyes, assessing the situation.
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“Don’t lose it” she says looking at the paper with her number on.
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“Thanks for the latte. I’ve gotta get back to work” she stands up smiling.
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“Catch you at dinner?” She laughs at my shocked expression.
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“I’ll be asleep by dinner” I tell her, she walks off not looking back. I watch as her auburn red hair swishes down past her shoulders.
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I place the piece of paper into my trouser pocket and laugh a little. Grabbing my cup of coffee I head back up to the ICU. To wait some more.
