Matty's POV
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Taylor is grinning at me from the passenger seat unable to stop looking at me. I place my hand in between her thighs. No physical contact all day has been hard. The only thing I can think about is me having her. I want her right this moment, If I could get away with stopping the car and claiming her in the back seat I would.
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"What?" I smirk my eyes taking her in. Her hair pulled up in a curly ponytail, she felt hot earlier and I watched her scoop all of her hair back. The sun has caught her on her neck.
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"Matthew" she says slowly and my tummy flips looking at her lips.
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"Did you do what I think you did when you left earlier" she teases me.
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"What did you think I was doing, Taylor" I smile as I park up at their house, the gravel under the wheels crunching and parking sensors bleeping.
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I hop out and retrieve the food we just bought, from her local store. To say it's fancy would be an understatement, I've never seen fruit organised and displayed so neatly. I followed her around pushing the trolley, occasionally watching her hips as she walked ahead of me picking up all of the ingredients and food that she needed.
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"Getting the girl" she replies softly as I open the door for her and notice how she places her hands over the bump as she steps out.
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"What you?" I ask cheekily.
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She rolls her eyes watching me.
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"Not me! Olivia" she smirks.
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"No, Taylor I'm not pursuing her." I say resolutely.
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"I think bump has grown again" I laugh as she needs more clearance to get out of the car.
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"Oh I know it's like he's in overdrive. A growth spurt of some kind. My back is just" she says rubbing her lower back and I zone out watching her.
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"We'll have to sort that out then won't we" I say following her up to the door watching those hips move in front of me.
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She collapses on the sofa and I ditch the food in their huge kitchen on the large kitchen island, with the chandelier above it. Moving aside the leaflets of baby stuff, and Taylor's baby books. I grin imagining her reading them. Receipts for prams and cots and fancy dinners all strewn everywhere over the worktop. I had thought Jay was more organised, definitely not a hoarder. I glance at one seeing that he spent almost two grand on a lunch reservation, in Australia.
I laugh, pretentious ass I think to myself as I walk back to Taylor. Removing my leather jacket and shoes and in my head I'm pretending we're an item. Placing my jacket on the hook rails in the hall, my wife I tell myself, she was mine first my head tells me, justifying my actions.
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I pace through to the living room where she is laying feet up on the sofa. Her brunette curls over one shoulder. Her soft skin exposed as her dress gathers around the bump.
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"Taylor" I whisper, shes exhausted. Resting her head back eyes closed.
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She gazes up at me and I rub her back, massaging her, my arms linked around her hips.
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"'Matthew" she half moans and I smile.
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"Yes baby" I whisper in her ear grazing it with my lips. She quivers and sighs.
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"I have an appointment tomorrow, I forgot it's a checkup" she says softly and she turns back around facing me, worry taking over her expression.
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"Please can you come with me, it makes me anxious and I really would appreciate you being there" she says looking up into my eyes, through her thick dark lashes. We miscarried early on in our pregnancy, it’s stuck with her. It was totally unavoidable and it led to the breakdown in our relationship. But now she needs me, I look down and her hands are holding onto my own.
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Overwhelmed by emotion I kiss her delicately.
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"Of course" I say mouth inches from hers. She closes her eyes. I sit up on the sofa with her; cradling her. My eyes drooping from a long day at the hospital. Mind becoming hazy, a small voice in my head briefly tells me that I forgot to put the groceries in the chiller but I hush it for now. Giving into the comfort of Taylor resting her head on my chest. Sinking further into oblivion, until it's dark and I'm surrounded by her. Her scent, her calm breathing and her soft sighs.
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***
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"Taylor nobody ever has to know" I whisper kissing her again.
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"Just you and I" I whisper again my lips finding a rhythm.
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"Matthew" I hear her voice whisper but it sounds far away. Distant, like I'm under water, unable to get back up to the surface.
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Hands stroking up my shirt, undoing all of the buttons and yanking it off.
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"Matthew" the same whisper as before. Distant, chilling and inviting.
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My lips crash into hers, her hands on my chest pulling me in. Fumbling with my trousers and removing them. Rain battering the windows and her sighs and moans captivating my attention.
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"My wife" I whisper pulling her on top of me, bump nestled in between us. And she doesn't protest only allows me to hike her dress up and move myself into her.
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Gasping as I move in and out, bouncing her on top of me. Lightening illuminates the room, just a quick flash and I wonder where the storm has come from. It was perfectly sunny just moments ago.
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"Matthew" I hear her moan over and over, thunder rolling and crackling outside.
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"I need you my wife" I tell her and she smiles.
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"All yours" she whispers and I kiss her so passionately.
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"Is our baby okay" she says and I place my hands on bump, feeling the kicks and jabs.
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"Perfectly fine" I smile. I close my eyes and feel everything so intensely. The jabs of my child where my hands are just rested on her tummy and the feeling of making love to her, my wife.
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The sound of her voice filling my ears and my mind, mixed with the rain beating down on a tin roof. Tin roof ? I'm sure the roof isn't tin, I push the thought away. Now now Matthew, I tell myself.
Looking over to my side everything looks different, darker and unfamiliar. No coffee table, no window looking out onto cherry trees. I glance at the floor and see a pale blue dress scattered alongside my leather jacket. My head tells me I left that jacket in the hall. And Taylor wasn't wearing blue. I recognise the dress though, but where from?
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"Matthew" she sighs moving on top of me and it pulls my attention back to her.
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I look into eyes that are pale green instead of blue, blinking I take in her red hair. Pale skin that doesn't glow like Taylor's, and a flat stomach with no baby bump.
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I pull away just as she asks whether I am okay. I'm not okay. I'm confused and I shake my head willing myself to wake up.
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"No" I say and her face contorts, I feel like a monster, a horrible man. I close my eyes, willing myself to wake up from a perfect dream that morphed into a nightmare.
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"Matthew" I hear her and feel her hands on me.
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I blink several times it's dark still. The familiar scent of vanilla and peaches wakes me. And when I finally open my eyes, I see Taylor's concerned expression. Her hair falling onto my face, the scent pulling me in. Blue eyes, cream skin and chestnut hair, my hands move up her body and I'm speechless. Staring at her, on top of me.
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I wipe my eyes and smile at her weakly. This is real I tell myself. I'm not dreaming any longer. I can feel the texture of her soft skin, smell her sweet hair and see the emotion in her eyes.
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"You okay" she whispers not moving off of me, watching me intently.
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"Bad dream" I say and she strokes my face.
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"You're crying" she remarks slowly.
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"I'm so happy you're here" I say relief washing over me after the conflicted emotions of my dream. She stares at me for another moment and then rests her head down on my chest.
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"Fuck what's the time" I say looking out at the now dark cherry trees, the moonlight and pattering rain on the window. My phone illuminating on the floor.
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"Two am" she replies.
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"Fuck." I say exasperated. I was supposed to cook and make sure she eats. Look after her and the baby, instead I fall asleep and dream about making love to her.
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"It's okay Matty. We had a day of it" she says sleepily.
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"You must be hungry" I say concerned. I lean and grasp my phone, messages from Jay pop up and I curse under my breath.
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"What's up" she says half asleep, cuddling my chest.
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"Nothing, what food would you like?" I say irresistibly, stroking her back.
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"Cheese and toast, no I'm kidding I'm okay" she laughs and in my head I remember the first night I met her. I made her, and everybody at mine, cheese on toast. We got carried away on my table and ended up knocking the toast everywhere.
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"Mmm" I say stroking her, now ignoring my messages.
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"What was your dream" she whispers and her thumb is grazing my chest.
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"We were" I begin and chuckle.
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"We were here" I pull her into me losing myself in the beginning part of my dream. It really felt like she was mine and a tear escapes my eye again.
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"Me kissing you and holding you." I say softly.
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"Why was it bad" she asks looking up at me.
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"Because Taylor" I stroke her face.
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"I was making love to you, in the most passionate way possible and then I looked away, looked back and it was Olivia. And I pulled away from her and she looked at me like I was a monster because I rejected her" I say Taylor on top of me, her legs either side of my hips.
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"Sorry" she says softly.
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"My brain knows what it wants even in my sleep" I say quietly.
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"And what it doesn't want" I sigh.
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"I want to make love to you like that again" I whisper.
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She bites her lip, and I place my hands on her hips. Squeezing her just slightly, she sighs and I decide this isn't fair on anybody. Just as she works her hips into me, just as she sighs my name. I lift her up and carry her up to their bed, wordlessly.
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I don't have to be told where to go this time I remember. I kick the door open to the bedroom holding her closely not sure of what I'm doing. Laying her down in the dark, on the huge bed that isn't mine. I stand over her willing myself to go and do anything but be with her in bed.
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In the dim moonlight I see her hand move over the straps of her dress, pulling it down revealing breasts that I've kissed so many times before.
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"Taylor" I whisper and she ignores me.
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She moves her dress off and I take in her naked body, a perfect bump.
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"Matthew" she says and I can't believe she's naked in front of me.
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"Please can you climb into bed and comfort me" she whispers.
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"Shhh" I reassure her pulling my shirt off and over my head. My jeans are next and I've not felt this hard in years. I'll be concealing it with the comforter.
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"We can eat tomorrow" she whispers turning to face me.
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"What" she smirks when I don't know where to look or put my hands.
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"You've seen me like this before." She smiles and that really isn't the point.
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I smirk and put my arms over her hips. Blanket in between us. She stokes my back lightly, cradling me in her arms.
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"I didn't realise" she begins softly
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"I'm sorry I went on about Olivia today" she utters.
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"That's my fault, I'm sorry you had a nightmare. Because of me going on about stuff" she says sleepily.
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I stroke her face, hold her into me.
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"Shhh just sleep" I say quietly.
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"I love you" I whisper. The room fades, until the only thing I can see is her blue eyes closing. Until the only thing that exists is the sound of her breathing and I drift away with her.
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