Taylor's POV
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Brunette curls that had been long forgotten, bright green eyes that look up at me innocently. As I hum along to hallelujah those eyes close irresistibly to my tune. Swaying back and forth, as I rock him in my arms.
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"He's you" I smile up at him, identical green eyes that shine happily, he is completed by our addition to our family. Glistening just like the deeper depths of the forest before us, my blue eyes the sky to his landscape.
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"He's us" Matthew smiles arms around my shoulders, the British countryside before us. Fresh green grass, daisies and willow trees in the distance. A light breeze surrounds us as he sleeps down in my arms.
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"Look at that cloud" Matthew comments in what has to be the most British accent I've heard from him so far.
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"It's grey huh" I smile and he chuckles.
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"It usually means that the heavens are about to open up, and therefore we should get inside" he smirks, gently taking the baby into his embrace before we stand and he takes my hand guiding us through the fields.
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***
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Crying is not the best way to wake up, especially when your baby is also wailing beside you, hungry as it's been a solid three hours since his last feed. I pull myself up, glancing at Matthew asleep next to me.
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"Truly Henry, I know this is taking far too long" I smirk as he settles himself on my nipple and I sigh. He managed to rouse Ross who is now lingering awaiting to burp him seated on my side of the bed.
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"He's more loud in the night huh" Ross giggles as I wipe my face and he looks at me utterly alarmed.
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"He is" I manage softly.
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"What's up" he asks me, stroking my thigh over the duvet and frankly those honest blue eyes are sure to send me deeper into my emotional despair and so I choose not to look into them. It's not possible to explain to him, or anybody for that matter, my visceral dream including Matthew. I'm not even sure myself, what any of it could possibly mean. Instead I will keep it all buried in my head, because I know that I am hormonal and emotional. Matthew has been there for me the past couple of days and nights and my subconscious is currently playing out different scenarios, that in reality will never come into fruition.
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"It's honestly just a mixture of tiredness and hormones" I tell him and he nods.
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"You're so good at everything Taylor, so good with the baby and keeping everybody happy. But you yourself need to focus on you sometimes too. Your happiness" he whispers and I smile.
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"Thanks Ross" I say softly, handing him Henry as he clutches him over his shoulder and burps him. I wipe my face again as Matthew stirs and I dare to look over at him. He turns instantly and reaches out for me, his eyes settle on me and he smiles.
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"Slept through that one sorry" he mumbles and we both laugh.
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"Hey no" he says sitting up and wiping my face.
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"No more tears" he whispers and I shake my head unbelieving of the resemblance I can create in my dreams of him, his expressions and his smile. How my mind can capture the curls in his hair, the deep green of his eyes and the curves of his lips.
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"I'll do the changing" he smiles and I nod laying back down and resting my head in the pillows. Closing my eyes and waiting for more sleep to be a possibility. Preferably dreamless sleep, deep sleep that does not wake me up with tears.
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Eventually after a walk around the room with Matthew, humming some tune to him that I do not recognise. We chuckle slightly as the humming sends Ross back off to sleep almost instantly. Henry settles in his arms and I watch as he places him down in the bedside crib and climbs back into bed himself. Matthew turns to me lying opposite me, the outline of his jaw illuminated by the moonlight.
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"You okay?" He whispers softly.
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"I'm fine honestly" I say closed off and clipped, as I stare into the dark room.
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"Mhmm what is it?" He says undeterred by my tone and my directness.
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"I'm tired Matthew and that's it" I say quickly as he exhales and waits for more.
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"I'm tired" I say softly as he reaches out to me hesitantly. His arms engulf me in the bed as I sob into his chest, unable to contain my tears. Small sobs turning into crying as he holds me.
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"You don't have to tell me" he whispers softly.
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"I'm just concerned" he whispers hands rubbing my back as I lay there next to him.
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"I know I'm so sorry, that's not my intention. I didn't want you to start worrying about me at all. I'm fine honestly" I say and he sighs.
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"Sounds like it Taylor" he whispers stroking my hair back.
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"There's only one thing I can tell you" he murmurs.
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"When you're worried or feeling like you are loosing yourself, no matter where you are in this world just know that I love you, and I am here waiting. With my arms wide open to be there for you" he whispers. I imagine waking up in foreign countries, it could be Dubai or Australia, Italy even and wondering where life may have left him in five years or ten years down the line. What he might be doing, and how his life may have panned out. The woman that will carry his babies that I have only dreamt about. I sigh knowing that we are fated to grow apart. One day I will be older, and he will have moved onto his own life. And that is entirely what I should wish for him; his own happiness minus me.
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"Now sleep" he whispers stroking my hair back before holding me as I rest and close my eyes.
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***
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Henry Gilbert Scott, although he sleeps for the rest of the entire night, makes up for his lack of disturbances when we all rise in the morning and he shrieks.
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"Jesus" Ross laughs and I can't help but to giggle at his bed hair and his confused expression as he glances over at the bedside crib at the noise that a baby can make.
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"Here" I say placing him on my chest as he guzzles.
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"Jheez ouch" I laugh as Matthew looks up at me alarmed.
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"I'm fine" I smirk as Henry settles.
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"He was just a little eager" I laugh and Matthew strokes his hair back finding the whole thing utterly amusing.
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"Oh you guys that wasn't so bad" Ross says bemused as Matthew throws a pillow at his face and I erupt into laughter.
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"He barely woke up!" Ross laughs and I smile down at Henry.
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"You're going to have so much fun with these two when you're older" I smile, imagining uncle Matty and Ross playing games with him.
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"Uncle Ross is basically a big bear, and Matthew well" I smile down to him.
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"Something tells me Matthew will always keep you safe" I whisper as he strokes my arm, looking at Henry and smiling.
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Being that we are all less tired we manage the morning with ease, after my crying episode in the night I try not to look Matthew in the eyes in fear of collapsing into tears again.
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Frankly, I deem myself utterly complacent for crying so much when I have the perfect little baby and the perfect husband to keep me happy, who shall return any day now and whisk us away to Italy where we will begin our lives.
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Rhea and Malachi visit after lunch to see the baby and it's yet another emotionally charged event that sends me into tears. Rhea, my childhood friend who had been my partner in crime for a long time and also my best friend who would whisk me away to a salon whenever I was heartbroken, has become somewhat more distant in my life yet when we do see each other we are still the best of friends.
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I reflect on how I haven't seen her since my wedding and how somebody that was part of my daily life has become so distant. Not through animosity, but through the trials of life and simply growing up. The realisation that I have missed her terribly is just bad timing seen as I'm on the verge of moving to another country more permanently.
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"He's so precious" Rhea explains tucking her short cropped brunette hair behind her ear as we sit in the living room looking out over the cherry trees. She holds onto Henry as he sleeps in her arms as I tuck my legs under me on the sofa.
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"Nice house?!" She laughs and I smile over at her.
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"Yes it is a rather nice house isn't it" I chuckle realising that I still need to explain mine and Jay's plans to her, Italy and our forever after. Malachi, who has grown a beard and now walks around more like a man than a college student, has followed Matthew and Ross out to the kitchen in search of lunch. Matthew and her partner Malachi always got on very well and it doesn't surprise me that they have gotten lost in conversation in my kitchen. Whilst Matthew and I dated we had gone on double dates together.
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"See that you have two very diligent helpers" she winks at me and I laugh. She always manages to make me laugh even when I'm feeling emotional. Rhea clothed in a charcoal jumper dress coos Henry as he begins to stir, watching him fascinated as he settles back down again in her arms.
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"Jay had a business meeting, a big deal one in Dubai and so Matthew stayed. It's been a God send. Newborns are tiring" I chuckle pulling at my hair as it falls down my side.
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"We're actually..." I begin my voice breaking slightly before I continue she eyes me waiting patiently as she always did.
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"When Jay arrives back, we have a farmhouse in Italy. Wow I've just realised I have a lot to catch you up on" I laugh reminding myself of the events after the wedding staying with Matthew, my betrayal and our continued honeymoon in Italy.
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"Italy?!" She gasps and Henry full on thrashes around to which I laugh and she apologises.
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"Italy yes. So after the wedding we honeymooned in Tasmania. Random but totally perfect. It was just us two and bump in a log cabin alongside the Tasmanian wilderness. Until Ross crashed his car here in Cali. We returned, ending our honeymoon short" I explain as she looks at me aghast.
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"Ross can sure survive a lot of accidents" she smiles and I laugh, remembering his motorcycle accident a few years ago.
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"So we came back, whilst I still could fly. But Jay had a business meeting with the board, seen as he's the new COO, he had to kind of introduce himself" I tell her nonchalantly.
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"COO!?" She says knowingly, what the role is and what it entails.
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"Yeah COO. So he left for Dubai and Matthew and I stayed here, under Jay's direct instruction." I begin and she laughs.
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"Ok so I tried to set him up with the nurse at the hospital, Olivia. That's a whole different story, he was making moves on me seen as we were alone, and it was bloody working okay. I was heavily pregnant, hormonal as anything and he was there and it's Matthew" I blurt out.
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"Taylor !" She laughs as Henry stirs and I take him popping him on for a feed.
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"Bloody hell Rhea he drew me naked and just held me and kissed me and stuff" I admit and she gasps.
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"Does Jay know!?" She sighs, Rhea has never been judgey, she is merely interested.
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"I told him, of course I did. He found the picture too of me, on the kitchen table" I tell her and she tries her best not to laugh.
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"He was pretty upset, and in that moment I thought I'd ended my marriage. If I were him I would be angry and upset and disappointed, however he said to me that he would never leave. That it was never to happen again, and so it hasn't" I explain and she shakes her head.
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"So we agreed to go to Italy on our honeymoon, directly afterwards. We then decided to buy a farmhouse." I explain.
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"You both decided or Jay wanted one to keep you away from..." she begins.
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"I do worry that he doesn't trust me, but I mean why would he? I've betrayed him. We fell in love with the farm house, vineyards and tennis courts and pools and all" I say looking down at Henry and imagining him in the pool in a couple of years.
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"He trusts you, or he wouldn't leave you here with him again" she says simply.
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"They had a chat before he left, I can only imagine how that went" I tell her.
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"So we came back to see my family and the plan was to go back to Italy and have Henry there. However by that time Henry was ready to be born, he fully just popped out on the kitchen floor" I laugh and she chuckles.
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We pause briefly, as Henry feeds and she sips her tea. I notice how she stares out of the window briefly at the cherry trees smiling before facing me again.
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"How are you feeling about being there for a longer period of time, like I mean it's a change." She whispers.
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"I'm excited to be with Jay, but when he has to leave and hop on a plane I'll be in a foreign country. Alone." I explain.
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"He's said hopefully Henry will be older by the time of his next trip and we can all go together." I add softly almost too myself.
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"We will happily meet you in Italy and stay in your farmhouse" she laughs and I snicker, she makes me feel reassured.
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"Matthew and Ross have also offered so maybe we can make a thing of it" I laugh and she snickers.
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"I'll bet they have" she smirks and I laugh.
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"What has Matthew said since being around you and the baby" she looks up at me, talking in a hushed tone.
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"He just said he will always be there for us" I whisper and she smiles into her lap.
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"He will Rhea. Always" I whisper and she nods setting her tea down before looking up at the double doors as the guys appear deep in conversation. Rhea greets Ross, jibing with him about his second accident as he laughs. Matthew helps me with the baby, and I can't help but to notice how Rhea watches him hold onto the baby and smile.
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