This is practically a suburban area I think to myself listening to the car radio driving through the roads up to Olivia's place. She didn't indicate, whether it was a house or an apartment. She just messaged me the zip and now I'm driving in hope of reaching the right place.
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The streets are clean, lined with rubbish bins and the only people walking about are unassuming middle aged people. Either walking their dogs, or having a jog. It's positively boring.
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Glancing at the satnav on my car I realise I've got two minutes until I arrive. I indicate for the next left into a gated set of apartments. Buzzing the door I hear the gates click and I drive forward into the small parking lot.
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Parking up I kill the engine of the 4x4 and jump out. I don't bother locking up, this place appears to be safe as houses. Having been buzzed up I enter the mezzanine to the apartment block and it's quiet. Decorated with white walls and cream carpets. I wonder how it's kept so clean.
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Walking up two flights of stairs I tap on Olivia's door stand back and wait for her to answer.
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"Matty" she greets me and it's odd and formal. I yearn for her to just be normal around me. Not Olivia the nurse.
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"Hey" I say softly and she smiles slightly moving aside to let me in. I'm early intentionally; firstly it shows her that I can keep good time, and secondly it wouldn't hurt to spend some time charming her in her apartment.
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I look over the open plan living space, taking in the grey walls and the white leather couch. It's not as practical as I thought her place would be. I thought I would be walking into a crazy cat ladies home complete with lace nets and floral wallpaper.
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However here everything is clean, clinically so. So much so that it doesn't feel lived in, like she doesn't dare to make a mess. It's devoid of any personal items, like photographs or pictures on the fridge. The kind of stuff that makes a place yours.
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"Take a seat" she suggests pouring me a glass of wine.
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"Just a small one babe I've got to drive you back" I tell her softly.
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I sit back on the shiny leather couch wondering what her bedroom looks like, it's surprisingly comfortable. The apartment air con is on and it's far cooler than outside even at this time of night.
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"Here" she says leaning over me slightly and placing a small glass of wine in my hand.
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She takes a seat next to me on her sofa, turning the music up slightly and I realise she's into soppy romantic love songs. The fray are currently whining through one of their hits.
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"It's nice seeing you in something other than nurse clothes" I laugh after sipping my wine. Glancing down at her and looking at her slate grey leggings and matching tank top.
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Olivia's frame is unlike any other women's I've seen before. I didn't really pay any attention when I was fucking her; but there's no curve to her hips. And even though her legs are slim, they're not shapely. She's wearing little ankle socks, she tucks her legs in underneath her finally relaxing.
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"I don't think we should be together on a sofa" she laughs.
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"Why? you don't want me to touch you anymore?" I whisper. How is it that I'm the first ? I wonder to myself whether she had any other boyfriends? She must have had a high school boyfriend.
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"Yes" she whispers.
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"Is that a yes I want you to touch me, Matty" I smile down at her.
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"Yes is a yes" she says simply, sucking the passion out of our interaction.
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"Where do you want my hands" I venture in an attempt to get her attention.
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She smirks and I sip my wine; she watches my every movement.
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"How about here" I say softly tracing lines up her thigh.
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She grows quiet and I wonder what she may be thinking. I pull my hands away and rest them behind my head leaning back slightly.
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"Not there huh" I smirk.
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"No I just" she says blushing. I watch her curiously.
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"I just would like to touch you" she says and it feels strange, it shouldn't but it does.
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She traces her hands up my chest; both palms settling flat over either side of my neck. She climbs on top of me, and I take a swig of my wine watching her.
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"I want to make you" she begins slowly kissing my neck.
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"I want you to be the one that's being pleasured" she says and I rest my head back, looking up at the plain white ceiling. I can't look at her; I'm going to have to get over my aversion but at the moment when I look at her I just see her as a girl who isn't Taylor.
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She takes my shirt off and folds it on to the side of the arm rest. Breathing me in she kisses down my chest and I look up at the light fixture imagining it's the women of my dreams.
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Placing her hands on me, I begin to feel awkward and hot. Trapped by her, which is odd, I've never felt that way before. Claustrophobic almost. I pull her up my body again to face me, taking the control back.
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"I hate to say it but cream is the worst colour sofa" I whisper and she gets my hint.
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Standing up I follow her into her bedroom, taking a quick glance around at the bland surroundings: no pictures again. No candles or flowers, nothing you would expect a woman to have.
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The bed sits in the middle of the room, a chrome finish bed with rails. A clean white duvet on top, and no extra cushions. A small dresser and wardrobe adorn the other walls.
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I sit down first on the double bed, pulling my jeans down over my hips. She looks at me entirely breathless standing in the doorway. I await her next move, watching her green eyes.
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Olivia makes a big deal of undressing in front of me. I find the whole thing incredibly cheesy and juvenile but I do watch her because that's what she needs to feel comfortable around me. I glance at the clock once, noticing that it's five pm already.
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I take in her gaunt frame and alabaster skin, yet I don't flinch. I pat my knee and she comes to sit astride me.
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"You're in control, Olivia" I whisper.
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"Make me yours" I whisper in her ear.
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I guide her onto me. She's very inexperienced and in order to stop her from awkwardly trying out different positions I just lend a helping hand. She moves slowly back and forth looking into my eyes.
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"Is this okay" she asks softly.
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"Perfect" I say reassuring her.
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"I love you Matty" she says and my mind goes into turmoil. Uncomprehending of what she just said to me. Love is a very strong word, you just don't use it after one date and two orgasms.
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I decide to close my eyes and let her continue, removing myself from the situation. Second guessing myself. This was most definitely the wrong girl to use.
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She does not love me, she simply cannot. I think about Taylor in my head, eyes closed I lay back on the bed and let Olivia do all of the work.
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"Matty" she moans and I reach up and cover her mouth, hopefully she finds it sexy. She kisses my hand and I continue imagining Taylor in my head.
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I find my release eventually, my hands over her mouth to stop her from talking.
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"Oh that time was good" she says climbing off of me. And I open my eyes slowly. Turning to face her on her bed, realising I've just very much finished inside of her with no protection. I doubt being a virgin that she's on the pill or any kind of contraception.
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I almost face palm, but I hold myself together.
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"Olivia" I say facing her, her red hair which is a stark contrast to the white sheets swirling down her neck.
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"I ugh" I say softly stroking her face. What to comment on first; the L bomb she dropped during sex or my inadvertent unprotected sex.
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"Please don't love me" I say simply and I'm being earnest.
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"Why not" she says softly.
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"Because I'm me and you're… deserving of a good guy" I explain. Somebody capable of loving you back, I think to myself.
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"Also I should have wrapped up" I laugh and she looks at me with an expression of innocence and confusion.
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"Worn a condom" I sigh.
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"We should both consider being more safe from now on" she says slowly.
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She just used the term we, she considers us an item already. Olivia just told me that she loves me. And that's it really, how to get a girl like Olivia in a matter of days.
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I pull her in close to me smiling and she looks at me half falling for me, half absurd at my impromptu physical contact.
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“Let’s get you to this party” I say smiling.
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“You’re good with shots and weed right ?” I say and she looks at me appalled. I smirk laughing.
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“Hey, it’s not like I said coke and orgys” I laugh and she swats me.
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“I’m good with shots and tobacco no weed for me” she says.
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“No weed got ya” I smile standing up and getting dressed.
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Looking at the plain white wall whilst doing my shirt buttons up, I feel her hands on my back.
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“You’re worth loving, and you’re certainly worth waiting for” she whispers. I feel like shaking her, making her see sense. Anger turns into fear that washes through me as I realise I’m going to break this women’s heart, eventually.
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