Taylor's POV
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Myself, Jay and Henry make quite an entrance back into our home after the checkup. Henry decides to scream all the way from the car, as we dared to stop driving and turned the music off. Jay chuckles holding him into his chest and cradling him. The air has a chill to it now, and it's welcome after the heat of the day, I embrace the cool breeze that sweeps through the cherry trees as he holds Henry wrapped into his chest. The twinkling lights around our water fountain welcome us back and I follow him up to the large front door before he lets us in using the security facial recognition system.
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"He wants milk" I say with just a hint of hysteria as we pace through the marble hall, greeted by Matthew who has tended the fire in the living room, just like he used to in his own home when I lived with him. When I was his fiancée and not Jay’s wife.
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"He is able to wait mon amour, please, let's get you comfortable first" Jay says cooing Henry as myself and Matthew follow him through to the living room. Jay sets me up on our cream sofa and I smile up at him. Ross wakes up from his slumber and Matthew eyes me before taking a seat on the chair opposite.
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"Comfortable?" Jay asks taking a seat next to me and cooing Henry at the same time, I watch him his blonde tousled hair and smile as Henry opens his eyes and looks up at his daddy.
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"Here Henry, I know your mother is amazing but there's no need to send her into a panic" he laughs handing him over as I settle him into my lap. Cradling him as Jay watches me in awe. The wailing stops and I place him into my chest swaddled in a blanket.
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"He loves his mama" Matthew laughs and Jay chuckles sweeping his hair back as I feed him.
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"How was the checkup" Matthew asks us sitting up in the leather chair by the fire. Ross smiles and turns the television down. Jay throws him his prescription and he catches it smiling and thanking him.
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"Food everybody ?" Jay says softly, I nod to him forever thankful, pulling his lips to mine before he leaves. That cheeky grin falls over his expression and I smile back down at our baby just knowing that Henry will adopt it and I will be able to pinch his cheeks whenever he smiles like his daddy.
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"Henry passed with flying colours" I smile down at him feeding. We sit in comfortable silence, and I'm sure now that I've heard a baby wail for food, that silence will never be uncomfortable again. Looking into the fire and occasionally down at the baby in my arms who is quickly falling asleep whilst suckling. I tuck myself back in as Matthew offers to burp him for me and I accept handing him the muslin cloth for protection.
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Sliding my sandals off and placing my legs up on my sofa I sit back and watch Matthew stand with my baby, patting his back and cooing him. Catching his eye as he rocks the baby, he blushes slightly before placing Henry down in the Moses basket next to me. He tucks him in and I place the pacifier over Henry's mouth he accepts it and sucks away sleepily.
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"You're good at this" I whisper looking up at Matthew before he takes a seat down again and smiles slightly.
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"You're better" he whispers. During our engagement a few years ago, myself and Matthew conceived twins. Two babies that unfortunately I lost due to miscarriage. We dreamt up our lives together, we envisioned having babies together and going through the motions as a couple. Watching him with Henry stirs up a lot of emotion in me. I watch Matthew push his brunette hair back and close my eyes briefly. Resting further into the sofa I briefly feel a blanket being placed over me as I fall into a deep sleep.
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***
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"The babies will always resemble you Matthew, because you're beautiful" I say to him. Two sets of green eyes look into my own. Seated in their high chairs at our oak table, our babies watch their daddy pacing around the kitchen and finishing off the dinner that I started.
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He mutters something about me being the beautiful one and I feed our little girl with her plastic spoon. Matthew walks around the kitchen, the old gas oven and the open fire roaring. A large bag over his shoulder with his artwork in which he places on the marble kitchen island before pouring me a glass of wine. Snooping around the oven he pulls out the roast beef and plates up our food.
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A brief kiss on my lips before he kisses both babies on their cheeks. Their green eyes taking in daddy with wide smiles on their lips.
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Our little boy helps himself to his spoon clearly unable to wait for me and I learn that having one set of hands and two toddlers is an utter disadvantage.
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"Lord" Matthew says smiling up at me, eyeing me whilst tasting the dinner I have made him.
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"I'm lucky" he smiles, I stand and ruffle three sets of brunette curls thinking myself the lucky one.
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***
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"Here, mon amour" Jay whispers, I open my eyes instinctively looking for Henry. I locate him in his Moses basket by us and relax perceptibly. Calming my breathing and glancing at Matthew just quickly shocked by the feelings evoked by my dream. The two babies I did lose, will never truly be gone from my memories and Matthew is intertwined with them.
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"It's odd waking up and babies separate from my body" I say to Jay and he nods stroking my hair back. The scent of beef lasagne fills the room, herbs and tomatoes. I smile up at him and follow his eye-line to a perfectly cooked slice of lasagne.
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"You cooked Lasagne" I whisper, thrilled and he chuckles.
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"I knew you were missing Italy" he smiles down at me and I giggle sitting up as he pulls the plate towards me and I tuck in.
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The guys have an action movie on and I tune into parts of it as I eat, polishing off the entire slice of Lasagne. Feeling Jays hands trace circles over my bare legs and smiling slightly as I watch his finger draw lines over me.
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"When are you guys planning on heading over to Italy" Ross asks casually and I notice that Matthew looks up from the movie.
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"We haven't decided" I say softly and Jay nods. Setting the plate down, I reach my hand and hold it over Henry's mouth and nose, it's illogical but the overprotective parent I am, tells me to check the feel of his breathing. I watch the rise and fall of his chest and smile feeling his soft breath hit my palm.
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"We need to christen the baby" I explain to Jay and he half snorts stroking his hair back before resting it back on my bare thigh.
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"We are not Christian" he laughs and I sigh before stroking his face.
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"We will be having a Christening in Italy" I explain and he smirks, amused by my apparent planning.
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"In a traditional church in the countryside, with all of our family and friends" I add and Jay smiles, just loving when I get carried away.
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"I hope that's okay by you darling" I wink over at him and he chortles.
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"I'm going to put so many babies in you" he smiles down at me and I laugh out loud, slapping him playfully with my hand.
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"First we must let this one grow up a little, no?" I laugh and he tickles me not seeing any logic at all, dreaming away instead.
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"Oh I don't know" he says cheekily bending to kiss my neck.
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"So as I was saying" I giggle as he showers me with affection, Ross looks back at the movie and Matthew eyes Jay with just the slightest hint of jealousy over his face. The fire crackles and I run my hands through Jay’s hair.
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"We will be christening Henry, in Italy and you guys can stay with us. Along with Rachel and Chris" I smirk, tactfully leaving Olivia out for the time being. I would be more than happy to have her, the woman who delivered my child, but as Matthew is unsure of their connection I will not mention her.
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"Which means we need a christening outfit for Henry" I add as Jay looks over me his eyes twinkling.
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"Anything for my wife" he whispers and I smirk as he lifts my legs briefly and stands to pick up Henry, who is still sleeping. Jay is the only person, I would not object to taking the baby in his arms and risk waking him. He cradles Henry and rocks him back and forth before taking him up to our bedroom, telling me that he will settle him into bed. I watch him as he walks Henry up to bed and realise that we have made the beginnings of our family. It dawns on me, for the first time that he will be putting children to bed, and playing with them, feeding them and being a daddy throughout their childhood and I can’t wait to see him being their daddy. Someday we will have more than just little Henry, and we will be the happiest little family.
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"You" I tell Ross as I stand and stretch out.
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"Make sure you take those pain pills" I smirk and he salutes me as if I'm boss.
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"Will do" he winks at me and I smile.
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"Anything from the kitchen before I leave for my bed" I ask softly as Matthew stands with me and I sleepily walk over to the large double doors which lead to the hall.
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"No just rest Taylor, oh and by the way" Ross smiles as I turn to him eyeing him and his golden halo of hair.
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"You make an amazing mother" he says softly, I smile taking the porcelain plate out to my state of the art kitchen. Flicking the light on and feeling the heated floor warm up my bare feet. Matthew follows me and thoughts of my dream earlier swarm my mind. Our babies, our twins. I haven't thought about them for a very long time or dreamt about them so viscerally.
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"Let me" he whispers taking the bowls and plates and loading the dishwasher. Retrieving the sparkling water from the fridge, I pour out a few glasses before he turns to me.
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"Make sure you rest" I whisper over to him as he eyes me curiously.
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"Are you going to sort out things with Olivia?" I ask him softly as he gets that look in his eye. The one I'm used to by now, where he's thinking about me and us and all of the things that used to be true for us. I can tell from the way his eyes linger over me.
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"I'm not sure of anything, I thought I was. Hell I told her I was, but now after this I'm not sure" he says conflicted scraping his hair back.
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"I just thought, when you collapsed before birth, I thought that something had happened to you" he whispers and I keep my distance from him.
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"I thought Jesus anybody in this world but Taylor" he whispers and I close my eyes briefly not wanting to see him going through the motions of loving me again. Of hoping that I will someday be his Taylor again.
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"I looked up at Olivia and in my state of despair the worst thought came into my head" he whispers and as I open my eyes I can feel his hand now rested on the top of my own.
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"I thought even her, over you." he says softly, his green eyes watching me, the same shade as the babies in my dream.
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"Matthew" I begin to protest but he shh's me.
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"I will not do a thing, nothing untoward" he whispers before stroking my hand.
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“I will not Taylor, I promise. I’m just here for you” he explains softly before he looks down at me.
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"Henry is beautiful and Ross is spot on; you're a wonderful mother" he whispers eyes meeting mine.
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“I always knew that you would be” he smiles down at me before placing the water bottles back into the refrigerator.
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“You are amazing with Henry, thank you” I whisper to him following him down the marble hall as we switch off the lights one by one. We leave Ross to rest, climbing the stairs together up to the first floor.
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“I’ll sort everything out tomorrow” he whispers to me when we reach the top. Grasping onto my hand before he lets it go.
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“With her” he explains softly.
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“I’m here for you” I whisper, remember how he turned to drugs after our miscarriage and not wanting to see him spiral.
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“Whatever you do I am here” I explain as he stokes my hair.
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"Good night Matthew" I whisper as his hand brushes down my arm. He looks at me tentatively before collecting himself together and clearing his throat.
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"Good night Taylor" he says softly.
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