Matthew's POV
April
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Taylor is clearly shaken from witnessing that fight, I can see it in the way she stares ahead blankly as she placates Rachel. The blood on the floor and the smashed glass from Nate's drink still lays in the spot where he dropped it, I clear it away. Mopping up the floor of all of the blood.The kitchen has emptied of students, nobody wanted to get in trouble and so they left the scene of the crime.
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"Man let me help" Justin says to me as he picks up the remainder of the glass shards.
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"Thanks" I tell him eyeing him briefly before staring at Taylor again.
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"You guys were a thing" he asks softly.
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"We were the best thing that ever happened to me" I sigh laughing a little and he shakes his head.
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"She is very beautiful" he says without any hesitation before placing the shards into the bin and leaving the kitchen without so much as a nod in my direction. I've gleamed that he studies English literature with Ross. It's fitting for such a soft guy I think to myself idly.
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Ross manages to get Rachel out of the kitchen and he eyes me steadily before leaving me with Taylor, as if I will cause any problems. She is the love of my life and the way I see it Jay is just a temporary fling for her. Distracted again by Rachel he shh's her as he holds her into his chest and guides her over to the stairwell of the dorm house.
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Approaching Taylor as she bins cups and discards of all of the rubbish in the kitchen, dashing red cups into a bin bag I notice her hands are shaking as I get closer and take the bin bag away from her.
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"Shhh" I say softly holding her from behind as she sobs.
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"It's my fault again and he's not wrong Matthew" she sobs as I turn her around in my arms just like I used to. Wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her into my bare chest. My fiancée I think idly as she cries softly and I stroke her hair back. My eyes on the door just in case Jay comes back down and decides to try and knock me out too. I chuckle slightly realising that I would take that hit for this moment with her over and over again.
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"I'm sorry" she says clearing her throat as she looks up at me realising how close we are. Blue eyes gazing into my own just briefly before she looks away.
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"Don't be sorry" I tell her brushing her hair back and wiping her eyes before pulling her body into my chest again and holding her closely.
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"I'm sorry everything is a mess, I'm sorry that I'm not who I used to be. I'm just sorry" she whispers holding me back.
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"I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't want things to end for us in that way, with arguments and animosity" she whispers as my hands hold onto her like there's nothing in my life I want more than her. I breathe in the scent of her, her familiarity and the feel of her body on mine.
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"Taylor, I'm sorry that I got angry. I had all of these expectations that had just been dashed and I've never felt that way before. I reacted badly" I whisper stroking her back and caressing her.
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"I love you completely Taylor and this is not the end for us" I say softly as she breathes in steadying herself. Releasing her finally from my arms I help her to clean up all of the plastic red cups. Before I roll up a funny cigarette and light it up sitting back down on the round wooden table in the dorm kitchen watching her move around cleaning before she finally slips into the seat opposite my own. Silently I pass her the cigarette and she inhales closing her eyes.
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"I'm sorry that I said so many horrible things to you, about you not loving me" she whispers when she finally opens her eyes. Steadily watching me, and this is exactly the conversation we should have had the other day. Not one that led to shouting and tears.
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"I love all of you" I tell her as she looks down at the cigarette and inhales some more.
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"I know you do Matthew" she whispers passing me the cigarette as I feel my body getting lighter either from the cigarette or by her mere presence.
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"What is this with Jay?" I ask her softly, measuring my tone so as not to alarm her. Lounging back on my chair I push my hair away from my face and breathe in deep inhaling the smoke.
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"He's different, he's serious but also totally carefree. He makes me feel happy" she explains looking down at her hands. I get the feeling that he distracts her from almost everything that has upset her; including me.
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"But do you still love me?" I ask her the intoxication giving me confidence. Her hands open flat on the table as she sits before me in a T-shirt, presumably his, and I watch as she crosses her legs over one another as she used to.
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"Matthew." She protests as I stand swiftly, kneeling before her resting one hand on either side of her thighs as I look up into her face. Before I speak I hand her the cigarette, she takes it in her hand and inhales looking at me with diluted pupils, her eyes unable to stare into my own for too long.
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"I'll always love you" she whispers ruffling my hair with her free hand. I grasp her hand as she pulls it away holding onto it as she inhales again. A long draw of the cigarette which makes her close her eyes as I kneel before her.
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"Taylor, if you ever give me another chance, I will hold you every morning. I will kiss you every second I get. I will love you so fucking much, okay" I say with determination as footsteps descend upon our moment. Standing unwillingly, and turning to face the door to see Ross taking up the whole door frame with his now bulked up frame. A sorry expression on his face which turns into a smile as he eyes the smoking stuff on the table.
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"One more spliff, I need it dude" he laughs looking at me and I oblige.
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"Rachel's sorry, about Nate's behaviour. She asked me to make sure you're okay" Ross says ignoring the moment he just barged in on.
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"She needn't be sorry. Nate is right. I've made myself look awful" Taylor whispers and I shake my head rolling up the next one for the three of us.
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"Oh shh you. You're wonderful he's antsy you don't like him. Don't play the I deserve this card" Ross laughs and she smirks as he takes the seat next to her.
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"What a hit huh, I thought I hit him hard the other time but that was a whack" Ross laughs as he scrapes his hair back and I eye Taylor watching him briefly. A quizzical expression on her face.
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"Why did you hit him" she asks him even though I'm sure that she already knows.
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"Because he's a dick" he laughs not wanting to go into specifics as I hand him the joint first. He sparks it nodding at me, resting one arm behind her shoulders.
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"Can't have him talking wrongly about anybody I care about" he says laying on the charm as he passes her the smoke next.
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"You know you can always just move back in with me." He laughs as she giggles.
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"That way nobody would be punching anybody" he giggles tickling her side as stands next to him to hand me the cigarette. She leans over the small wooden table and he rests his hand on her hip bone.
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"I had it all under control" he smiles up at her, crossing his arms over his bare chest as she watches him again.
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"You did actually" she smirks falling back into her chair slightly, as he giggles again and she laughs. The weed affecting them entirely more quickly than it is me. Ross wraps his arms over her shoulders again, pushing his hair back and eyeing me briefly.
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"We used to just get high and chill. None of this fighting rubbish" he laughs pulling her in closer to him.
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"I've missed this" he smiles and she laughs her head rolling back as she rests her dainty feet on the side of his chair. He casually places his hand over her thigh and I'm almost positive I'm getting flashbacks of the first night we met. Ross trying his best to charm her whilst we were getting high.
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"No I mean it Taylor, I've missed you" he smiles and she giggles again as I pass him the spliff eyeing him as I do.
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"I should probably go to bed" she laughs glancing over at the clock illuminated on the electric oven.
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"It's practically morning" she gawks and he laughs helping her to stand up, wrapping his arms around her small frame and holding her body in his arms.
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"Come on let's get you up the stairs" he laughs walking her towards the hall.
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"No wait, I have to say goodnight to Matthew" she giggles and he stops, peering over his shoulder comically.
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"Right behind you" I laugh following them out.
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"I'm sure Taylor you just like being carried up to bed, the amount of times we've been high and you just refused to walk" he jibes with her, as he lifts her up before ascending the winding staircase.
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"Ross you practically bulked, use your muscles for good reason" she giggles and he laughs a low throaty chuckle. Setting her down at the top of the hall she holds onto his chest and kisses his cheek softly before making him promise not to travel home. Next Taylor pulls me into her arms, hugging me.
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"I'm glad we talked" she whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek.
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"No driving home" she says sternly and I chuckle guiding her over to her door and wishing her a goodnight before she slips into the dark room.
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