I walk in front of Jay and Josh back to the main room, the one with the pool tables and the fancy armchairs, oh and not to forget the wall of bifolding doors that overlooks the swimming pool. I'm swaying because of the shot of vodka and I notice Jay chuckling and steadying me twice.
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He takes an armchair and I cheekily sit down on Jays lap when we reach Matty and Ross. I'm not sure where Nate and Rach got too, and I most likely do not want to know.
Joshua and redhead are talking again and I exhale relieved his attention is on her and not me. I didn't actually see that one coming. I always manage to get myself alone with shirtless guys, it's a common occurrence in my life.
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Jay is stroking my leg and I whisper in his ear.
"Should we leave just a little bit early this time" I ask him.
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He eyes me.
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"That's a definitive yes" he smiles and downs his brandy.
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"I need to ask you what he said" he says slowly in my ear.
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"No" I sigh rocking my head back. I do not want to talk about him. I want to talk about us and how were going to go home and kiss and lay in bed together all night.
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"No you don't not now" I say and I kiss his neck lightly. He exhales sharply and strokes my waist.
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"What you need is to take me somewhere and..." I begin whispering to him.
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"Shhh Taylor. You're so naughty. Fuck" he says playing with my hair.
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"you shh" I giggle. I sigh when he stares back at me seriously, waiting.
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"He didn't say anything important. He's a sore loser from pool" I laugh and I stroke his hair back. Kissing his lips. I'm devoted to him.
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"Okay proposition I go and find Rach, spend a few dances with her. And when I'm back we can call a cab and go home. I'll even get you a drink before I go" I sigh.
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"Deal, only if you tell me" he smiles. I stand up leaning over him and he takes in my cleavage.
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He lightly pulls me on top of him so that I'm straddling him and I laugh.
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"How am I going to get you a drink like this." I say and he winks at me.
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"Don't need one baby. I want you" he says.
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"I want to know though Taylor, if you found me with a topless girl would you not want to know?" He sighs looking over my body.
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"Put her down" Rach says and we both look to the side.
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"Taylor, let's dance" she demands giving me my orders.
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"Ross you're coming too and you Matty we don't go to parties to sit around" she sighs exasperated with us apparently chilling out.
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"I suppose Jay can come too" she laughs and hugs him when I've got off of him and nearly fallen into Ross at the same time. He steadies me laughing. I feel his strong arms around me and sigh. Why are all of my friends so fit, and so ready to look out for me when I'm drunk?
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"Sorry" I laugh
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"Me and vodka are not good" I smile to myself and Ross looks at me laughing.
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"You're all good" he says and his eyes don't leave mine for one minute.
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We all follow Rach, I mean in an orange dress she's hardly easy to lose. It appears Joshua has a very decent sound system and a huge amount of floor space that works as a dance floor.
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"Taylor" Jay whispers in my ear and I chuckle. My eyes are closed and I'm dancing, I briefly thank him for being so clingy. Luckily I'm not grinding all over Ross.
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"Baby I love you" he says in my ear.
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"I love you too" I say back.
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Rach pulls me away from him and I protest but she begs me to just be her friend and not Jays girlfriend for once. As I'm dancing with her I'm briefly aware of the guys staring at us. Clearly we are giving them quite a show. I laugh and then move her hair away from her ear.
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"Guys are thinking all kinds of things about us" I whisper.
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"Let them" she laughs.
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"Remember when we kissed" she says after a pause.
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I laugh and smile at her, remembering how sexy I felt doing that. I was with Matty at the time and in a relationship and afterwards we had sex upstairs in Ryan's spare room. If I remember correctly girl on girl was Jays sexual fantasy. That gives me an idea.
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I pull Rachel's lips to mine. Lightly brushing her lips on mine and twisting my hands in her hair. She gets the picture and reciprocates.
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"Woah" I hear Josh saying. Rach smiles and kisses me again. Her hands going over my dress and down my chest and her lips tracing my neck. I open my eyes and look at Jay and he's dumbfounded, I can see the lust in his eyes and it turns me on. I touch her back and she full on snogs me. When I come up for air I moan slightly. I kiss her jaw and her neck, I don't know what's gotten into me. I move my lips down her chest kissing her and her hands knot in my hair.
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"Fucking hell" Josh comments but I ignore him returning to her lips. Kissing her over and over my hands going over her nipples. She pulls her dress down slightly and so do I.
I can feel her cleavage on mine, and it's actually turning me on. Maybe I'm bisexual? I don't know I've always gone with guys. Not girls.
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"Should we stop" I say.
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"No objections here" Joshua says.
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Rach is kissing me still down my neck and over my chest.
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Jay is currently speechless and I take that as a sign that we're driving him wild. Matty is trying not to watch. We are both his ex's after all. And Ross, I dare not look at. Redhead; I really should learn her name, is watching distastefully.
I feel amazing. I feel hot and sexy. And very drunk.
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I sigh my head resting back as she kisses my cleavage. This is a side of myself that I haven't really explored fully before. I didn't know that this Taylor existed. It must be the vodka.
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She pulls my straps slightly and I moan. She's kissing my whole chest and I'm so turned on, I don't know how I'm still standing. I lift my head up and she kisses me again on my lips my cleavage touching hers. Pushing against her chest as she kisses me.
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She laughs a little at the guys expressions, mouths are catching flies.
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"That was hot" Ross says to break the silence once we refrain from having our lips on each others body parts.
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"A bit of a fantasy for you too, Ross" she says and I turn to face him. Realising my chest is heaving out of my dress by seeing his eyeline quickly move from my breasts. I feel Jays familiar arms around my waist and I push up against him feeling his erection.
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"What guy wouldn't find that a turn on" Ross says and I snicker drunkenly.
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"That isn't the first time we've made out is it ?" Rach asks me.
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"Nope" I smile.
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"Sorry Matty both your ex's making out in front of you" she jibes at him.
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"We're all good" he laughs eyeing me
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"What? you've been with both of them?" Josh asks.
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"Not at the same time!" Rach laughs.
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Matty nods.
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"The only one that hasn't been with both of us is Ross" Rach laughs.
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"Maybe we should change that" I laugh.
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"Taylor I thought you weren't kissing anybody else" Rach says to me smiling and winking.
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"Are you asking me to kiss you again or do you want Ross" I laugh
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"I'll take both of you, you know how many times I've tried it on with him?! And he's very unobservant" she laughs
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"No we're just friends Rach" Ross says smiling
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"You and Taylor are just friends" she questions.
He sighs and looks away, I refuse to look at him.
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"Have you ever, Taylor been with two people at once ?" She asks me and I go bright red.
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"Have you?" I ask astonished.
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"Yep" she smiles.
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"No I haven't" I laugh slightly uncomfortably.
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"Wait you have ? Another girl and guy or two guys" I ask interested.
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She eyes Jay and I begin to click the information together.
"What was her name again?" She asks him.
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I freeze a little then recover, I can't help but catch Matty's eye across from me. This isn't essentially a problem, it's Jays past and I knew he used to be different. I think the shock is partly that it's her and another girl, and my jealous head tells me that it would have been the best sex he ever had because he likes watching girls together. Like when I just made out with her in front of him, thinking that would be the best thing he's ever seen. How wrong I am.
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"I don't know, it was a long time ago" he mutters holding onto me. His hands feel different, like they're clinging onto me rather than holding me.
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"You could always try that, exploring your bisexuality." Rach says to me and I smile weakly.
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She does actually mean well. I'm getting wound up and Rach is completely unaware as to why. It's just because he didn't ever say, and to be fair he doesn't have to tell me everything but it's the fact that she knows more than I do about his past. And that she was a part of it.
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"I haven't decided that I'm bi" I say quietly and she chuckles.
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"Nina, her name was Nina" she says remembering.
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"I need another shot" I say and leave. She looks slightly shocked but decides I just want to get my drink on. It couldn't possibly be anything she said of course.
I need distance from that conversation, and I need to erase that name from my head. Nina. I begin to wonder what Nina was like, what she looked like. How she dressed and where she is now? I've never heard of her before. Did she date Jay?
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I do take that shot of vodka, in fact I have two for good measure. And then I walk out. I think I remember the way I came in. Just one more door and then I can leave and not think about Nina and who she might be.
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It's totally irrational to blame him now for his past. I know he's been with a lot of women. I know that because he told me. I don't know why it's eating me up but it is. It really is.
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I have this idea of him in my head, which is comprised of how he treats me. How he is with me and who we are together. And that version of him does not have sex with multiple women at once.
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Having a threesome isn't essentially a bad thing, but it is a thing to advise somebody on or to let them know should they become your partner.
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