Taylor's POV
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Justin Teller is watching me. Again. I look up from my book, I retired to the library to study because Jay has politics and I'm not a politics major. He had clung to me telling me he would bunk the lecture however I insisted he go rather than miss out on another lesson. Deciding that I have no desire to sit and drink coffee today I found myself browsing the fiction aisle. It's become a purely recreational visit and no studying in sight as I perused the books. Bumping into Justin again though is somewhat odd as I watch him reminding myself that he has tried to touch me. That he followed me just yesterday and spied on me.
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Today though I collided with him to be fair. I was walking through the stacks transfixed by the books and all of the ones I wanted to read, holding three or four in my arms looking down at them when I walked into him. He was doing the same and our books fell to the floor. I glanced down at the books scattered at our feet as he picked them all up from the floor, and I thanked him even though I wanted to bolt.
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His stare lingered briefly on my bare legs in my blue shirt dress as he stood back up. His cheeks flushed under his lightly olive skin. His smile warm and inviting if a little embarrased. He had rolled up his sleeves revealing a collection of bracelets, a few wire bracelets and tie up bands presumably for his longer brunette hair. A wristband from a recent gig that's he's been too.
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I asked him where the gig was and who he saw in the pursuit of being normal and friendly with him. Justin had explained that he had been backstage. I had hidden my laughter at the irony of him lurking in another backstage area, at least this time not one where I had been. Turns out Mr Justin Teller very much plays guitar, can sound check all live gigs and tends to do that on the side of his English major studies. An interesting thing to find out even though he has a habit or turning up when I'm alone.
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He went on telling me that it was a local acoustic gig, like an open mic where you can put your name down and play. He told me that I needed to come along next time. It was just short of asking me out on a date and slightly odd considering that he is aware of my relationship with Jay and that he was spying on me just yesterday. I hurried off with my books to my nook in the library instead of giving him an answer.
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Since our brief encounter, from his seat across the library he has been occasionally looking at me and I have been pretending that he isn't. His white shirt is unbuttoned just enough and his sleeves are roughly rolled up. He's reading and taking notes, and occasionally staring at me.
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I check my phone for Jay but he's still in lectures and hasn't messaged me. I settle back into my book, concentrating on the story and how it has been linked together. I glance up again, feeling his eyes on me as I meet his stare. My cheeks flush bright red as I remind myself of his unwelcome physical advance yesterday and I look away back at my book.
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I concentrate trying to keep the words in my head as a hand rests down next to my book and my eyes travel up to Justin's face. His eyes intense and apologetic.
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"Taylor" he says quietly and I look at him.
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"Yes" I utter trying not to squirm, I need out of the quiet library and so I pack up my books and stand up. You would think a campus library would be more busy however this one is not and I feel suffocated by the possibility of him trying anything on with me.
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"Wanna check our books out and go and grab some food, Rachel and Nate are at dorms" he smiles easily as I stand back. He notices my cold stare and falters.
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"Hey I'm sorry for yesterday. Was off of me. Please let's just you know be friends" he says with a grin as I head over to the desk and check out my books silently. He pursues me with his bag over his shoulder.
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"Honestly I'm sorry won't happen again." He says once I've finished scanning my books and placed my university number into the machine.
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"I know" I say softly hiding my face from him as I place my bag over my shoulder and begin walking towards the exit.
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"Please Taylor" he says rather desperately as we walk through the lanes towards dorms. Trees lining each side of our path as I pick up my pace.
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"I mean it, I'm sorry okay" he says as I whirl on him his outstretched hand catching me off guard.
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"Don't touch me again" I say as the birds coo in the trees and he nods.
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"I'm sorry it was wrong of me" he admits as I turn continuing to walk forward, one foot in front of the other until I reach dorms. As I climb up the steps I realise that I no longer have a key and I look down at my bag annoyed as he smiles opening up the house and letting me in.
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The chatter from the kitchen is welcome as I hear Matthew's laugh and Rachel going on about a haircut she did in her beauty lesson that went horribly wrong. I push my old kitchen door open and walk in trying to ignore Justin behind me as Rachel looks up concern shadowing her face when she looks at me. Shaking my head I tell her to leave it and she sighs as Justin goes and sits with Nate.
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"Chilli anybody" I announce feeling like the cook rather than the friend.
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"I'll help" Justin says as Matthew looks up warily.
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"This guy" Nate says chuckling as Justin assembles bowls and pans.
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"He's a great cook" he laughs as I set to work on the food trying to ignore Justin next to me. Thankfully with the music on and a glass of wine I do just that. Managing to pull off a sensational beef chilli as Justin places the rice on the table and smiles at me. I take a seat down at the table, watching Justin serve up Nate's food and Rachel's before his own.
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Just as I'm putting rice on my plate the kitchen door opens. We all look up expectantly and I see his blonde hair first, he's carrying his skateboard under his arm. After Ross comes in, looking surprised that I am here he walks straight over to me and wraps me in a tight hug. I have to stand up and embrace him back, he's taller and bulkier than before and I realise after the events of the past few days I've missed his calm presence. Taking a seat next to me, I continue plating up food and hand him a serving.
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Rach stands to get me another glass of wine. Which I didn't ask for but I like her thinking all the same. I accept it gracefully as Matty sits opposite me at the table. Being around Matthew is always difficult. I know what he's going to do before he does it and how he's going to react to things. He looks up at me with his green eyes and I smile at him whilst eating my food. He returns my smile, like he always does.
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"How's Kim ?" I ask and he watches me, his eyes travelling down from my lips to my neck and chest and then up again to my eyes. Rachel shifts in her chair next to me eyeing me briefly before watching Justin stare directly at me.
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"She's fine she's got another show that she's planning for" Matthew laughs.
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"Oh can we walk again" Rach asks intercepting our conversation. I almost protest, seeing Kim would be a huge deal for me. A huge memory that maybe I'm not willing to visit just yet.
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"Yeah I'll ask her" he says looking at me. As Matthew looks up at me I realise that Jay is right, I do seemingly have a few guys watching me. Justin, Ross on my left and Matty smack bang in front of me.
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"That's right you two walked the fashion show, I remember now" Nate says.
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"Hot" he smiles at Rach and I keep my eyes down. No more making eyes with other guys. Any of them. At the fashion show I was dressed as a goddess, Matty and I were together. It was the most revealing outfit I have ever worn.
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"How's your tat" Ross asks in his normal drawl, changing the direction of the conversation. I smile up at him genuinely.
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"Great I think it's almost healed" I smile at him. You cannot not smile at Ross.
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"Ohh let me see" he says as I face him and undo a few buttons to move my shirt dress out of the way. There's no other way of doing it. I thank myself for wearing nice underwear.
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"Nice" he says and he pulls his chair back slightly showing me his leg tattoo which is now unwrapped. It looks great, swirls of vines and tribal patterns contrasting with his tan skin. It suits him.
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"Wanna go again?" He laughs as I do my dress up and face my food.
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"Yes I'll go with you but I'm not getting anything else... although" I smile and he turns to me expectantly and excited.
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"I want a new piercing" I say shyly, I had been thinking about it for a while although now I’m more sure.
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"Oh what do you want?" Rach asks as I smile at her.
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"Well I want two" I say suggestively imagining that she will guess.
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"Oh let me guess, you've got your belly, nose and ears" she sighs.
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"I want my nipples pierced" I blurt out unable to contain my excitement, the room goes silent and I let my words hang in the air
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"Wow" Ross says gaping at me. He recovers slightly, smiling down at me and laughing a little.
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"We could do that" he says clearing his throat.
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"I just want little ones nothing crazy, just a bit of added sparkle" I say and Rach smiles at me.
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"I think you should, that would look great. You're symmetrical" she laughs sighing.
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"Not all girls are that lucky go for it" she says never ceasing to amaze me with what comes out of her mouth.
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"Next week?" I say to Ross impulsively and excited.
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"Yep. Let's also see what's on" he says as he absentmindedly strokes my arm with his hand.
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"It can be my treat this time" he smiles and for a second I think he's going to kiss me so I marginally pull back. I can't resist the proposition of going to see a play.
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"Would you guys wanna come" I venture looking up at everybody else. Most guys would be annoyed at me for inviting everybody else, not Ross. He strokes my arm with his fingertips.
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"Of course" Justin smiles as I nod weakly looking to Rachel for backup.
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"I'm in" she smiles nudging Nate as Ross gets his phone out and searches up the theatre. For the rest of the evening we browse the different productions, getting completely sidetracked each time and talking about the original book. Glass after glass of wine allows me to forget all about Justin and the way he watches me.
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Eventually I end up on the sofa with Ross looking at his tablet and we narrow it down to our two favourites. Justin seems happy to be included commenting that he'd be happy seeing either of them. I sip my wine, feeling more than tipsy, tucking my bare legs up on the sofa to get comfy. Matty is still watching me from the table and I'm blocking him out. His eyes make me feel nostalgic and he knows that. He looks at me like I'm still very much his, his to love and to take home.
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"I think I want to see the women in black" I concur as Ross strokes my leg smiling. He clicks on it and begins booking it for us.
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"Matty?" He says eying him and asking him if he'd like to join us.
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"Yeah I'm in" Matty says and I smile at him.
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I grab my phone from the table swaying slightly as I walk back over to Ross. Two hands keep me steady, I glance down and see his eternity ring and know for sure that it is Matthew. His hands discreetly going to my waist to keep me upright. I remember his hands instantly, how they would hold me and stroke me. I lounge back in my seat with another glass wine looking out at the campus grounds and the sun setting.
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"Here I'll pay you my money now" I say getting up my banking app.
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"Hey no I said it's my treat you bought the tickets last time remember" Ross says his hand back on me.
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"You lot however owe me" he laughs at Matty who's already getting his phone out. He's sitting next to me, and I peek at his phone screen. I watch him pay Ross and then he navigates to his Home Screen. His wallpaper is a picture I remember and I almost cry straight away. It's from when we first visited the music shop and where he bought me my eternity ring. We had just had lunch and he had told me that he wanted to be together officially. I look up from his phone and his eyes are on me.
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"Can I see" I say as he hands me his phone. I look at myself and remember who we were together. I took this picture and I remember the moment, it all comes flooding back to me as I look from the picture and up to his eyes. In the snap his arms are around me and he's facing me and not the camera. His lips kissing my cheek and I'm smiling at the camera. I remember the feeling of sheer ecstasy at being with him finally and it is captured in my eyes.
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"I remember this moment" I say looking at him. Ross is talking to Justin about the play and they're having a debate. I cross my legs and pull my skirt down slightly before sitting back and resting into Matthew's arms. Like a veil has been lifted from over my face I look at him clearly reminding myself of who we were together, of the nights spent in each other's arms. The times he held my pregnant bump and kissed me all come to the forefront of my mind.
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