Taylor's POV
Past tense
February
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My first objective is not to be alone with Matthew. That's working well as I sit next to Ross on a collection of sofas. A bottle is spinning before us on a glass table and he takes a drag of a funny cigarette before holding my head and inhaling the smoke into my mouth. It's something we've done with each other far too many times. Us and alcohol is not the best combination, getting high together leads to us being in bed together.
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"It's like making me feel so spacey" I laugh and he strokes my waist.
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"Mhmm" he smiles handing Rachel the spliff next, I notice that she does not get the same treatment as me, having the smoke blown into her open mouth. She takes her own drag and sighs.
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"Ross stop pulling moves on her" Rachel laughs and he puts his arms up, if only she knew that we've already had sex I think idly. I roll my eyes as the bottle lands on him and he ignores it pulling me in close to him.
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"Ross" Rachel demands, and he raises his hands in protest as he whispers in my ear that he wants to take me home. I giggle and he smiles down at me before spinning the bottle to work out who he needs to kiss.
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"About time" Rachel says as it lands on her and I smirk, as he turns in his seat and kisses her briefly.
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"Mmm he's a good kisser huh" Rachel leans forward and asks me, really she is fishing for information. Everybody is aware that I have been staying with him, and there is a huge amount of speculation surrounding our roommate deal. Considering that he has had zero parties at his place, and this is the first one both of us have attended at all the rumours surrounding us are pretty substantial. And unfortunately not entirely incorrect.
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"I wouldn't really know" I laugh over at her and she rolls her eyes.
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"Sure" she nods smirking, spinning the bottle again as Matthew approaches our group and I look up at him briefly with a small glass of brandy in his hands as he takes a seat next to Jay. Gilbert Scott breaks his stare from me to look up at Matthew and they begin to talk. The bottle revolves to a stop on Jay and Rachel smiles.
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"Spin it Jay" she smiles as he glances up at me. It lands on a resolute stop on a girl I don't know, I look down into my lap as he kisses her. When I glance up again the girl that he kissed, with meek pale features looks absolutely enthralled and I sigh smirking to myself.
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"Babe" Ross says in my ear.
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"Ross" I whisper back enthralled by how open he is being tonight.
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"You just let me know when you want to" he says as Rachel interjects.
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"No leaving" Rachel smiles and I scoff slightly.
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"Taylor bottles on you" she smiles as I stand and spin it waiting for it to settle and sipping my wine.
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"Matthew" she blurts out as I curse under my breath. Walking steadily over to him and Jay, I tell myself that is just a stupid kiss, part of a game. He whispers my name before I part my lips and kiss him tenderly. Refusing to look into his eyes in case I cry, I move out of his eye line and return to my seat. A few more rounds pass by as I watch on trying to work out if I know anybody else at the party and mostly trying not to get wrapped up in the kiss I just shared with Matthew.
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"I'm getting you another drink" I tell Ross and he nods standing with me, following me out to the kitchen I grasp onto his hand. Pouring out the brandy as he holds onto my hips, the kitchen is devoid of partygoers now that everybody is either dancing or playing drinking games. Most of the bottles have been carried out to the living space, people deciding that cups are no longer necessary.
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"Hey, let me pour yours" he mutters grasping the Prosecco and pouring some into my glass as I lean on the side, I sip it and he strokes my hair back. His finger trialing down over the sapphire around my neck and further over my chest.
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"Taylor" Matthew whispers from the doorway and I jump perceptibly.
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"Matthew" I say placing my head in my hands not ready to face him. He eyes Ross' hands on me and a look of annoyance crosses his face.
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"Man what happened to I'm not going to try anything on" he says instantly to Ross, and I can see the fight escalating before my very eyes.
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"Look Matthew" Ross begins trying to placate him, however it angers him even more.
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"No Ross, get your hands off of her" Matthew says drunkenly.
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"Man it's been like over a month" Ross says laughing slightly.
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"Is that all it takes Taylor ?" He turns on me and I place my Prosecco down.
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"A month right and we're through entirely." He whispers and I shake my head.
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"I'm not doing this right now, at this party whilst I'm drunk Matthew" I tell him and he scoffs slightly.
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"Really huh? You're just going to go back with him right" he asks me as Jay appears in the hall, and quite frankly that is just going to add fuel into the fire.
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"Ross and I are friends" I explain as Jay attempts to pull Matthew away but he hits out at him. To my surprise Jay merely absorbs the hit without reacting.
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"Friends that you know kiss and god knows what else" Matthew scoffs.
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"I've done nothing Taylor, but think about you" he says softly and I hide my face turning to Ross.
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"I need to leave" I whisper to him and he nods.
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"Morning and night Taylor. I can't think of anything else and you just show up with him." He adds and I turn around pouring my drink into the sink and placing my glass on the side.
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“Because I live with him and he’s my friend” I say defensively as Ross searches for my bag.
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“You can’t even talk to me though right, stopped answering my calls. Stopped replying to any of my messages. Fuck I mean I haven’t even seen you” he says exasperated pushing his brunette locks back.
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“We will sort this out Matthew, when I’m sober and ready to fucking deal okay.” I say getting irate.
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“Right you just let me know when you want to exit my life officially then. As it appears you’ve already moved onto my friends” he snarks.
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“Hey now” Jay says with caution as I wipe my eyes, knowing that he’s entirely right. As per usual I am the fuck up. It hits a nerve and I snap at him seeing red.
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“That’s right Matthew, I’m the problem every darn time right. The fuck up. The person that wasn’t right for you. The whore that you could have sworn was perfect marriage material when she isn’t” I say half crying and he eyes me concern flashing over his face, as I take my bag from Ross.
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“This just proves it though right, that we’re not right for one another.” I say angrily storming past him as Jay looks down at the floor.
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“Taylor” Matthew calls after me, it stings because he is right. It hurts because I know that I’m in the wrong. I wipe my eyes pushing my way past students as Ross aids me in my escape.
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“I can’t do this right now Ross” I say to him as he holds my back pulling his phone out and dialling for a cab. The call connects and he calmly asks for a taxi, supplying our current address before hanging up. He pulls his arms around my shoulders as we wait outside.
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“I didn’t mean any of that Taylor” Matthew pleads approaching us and I rest my head in Ross’ chest wanting it all to end.
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“I get it man” Ross says to him.
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“Please Ross just for once god damn it keep yourself out of this” Matthew says.
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“I love you Taylor, I’m sorry I just saw him touching you and reacted I’m sorry” Matthew exclaims and I turn to face him.
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“I’m sorry too, I’m wrong for you” I tell him and he shakes his head as Jay stands behind him, watching the drama unfold.
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“Not at all” Matthew says softly, and I watch his brunette eyes search mine looking for any hope.
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“Okay what we had, what we lost, we can have it all again. I promise you” he declares as the taxi pulls up behind us. I shake my head before leaving. Climbing into the taxi with Ross and resting my head back on the seat before it carries us off into the night away from all of the difficult conversations I do not wish to have.
