Ryan's house is just as I remembered it, I stare at the house for a fraction before we go in. Remembering, not just the night that Jen tore into me and told me my relationship was a lie. But the love I still felt for Matty despite his stupidity in not just telling me the truth.
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"I know" he whispers softly in my ear.
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"I love you, No surprises tonight please" I chuckle.
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He gets me entirely, nods and kisses me. His arms go around me as we walk in and I smile ahead of me.
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We follow Nate in and I can just tell Rach is already at the drinks by the way he sighs looking back at me.
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I feel eyes on me, like two sharp daggers piercing. I glance over my shoulder to see Jen of course. Realising that the animosity is still there makes me laugh. I mean how long can she hold onto it for. I take a good look at her. She looks cheap, her hair pulled into some kind of edgy style. Her makeup overdone. I smile at her and she scowls.
I can play nice.
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"Hey Ryan" I say hugging him and he reciprocates. As I look over his shoulder I see Ross and he stares back at me smiling. I always admire how Ross is surrounded by girls all of which he seems to completely ignore. Standing with his beer, in his shirt and jeans, his blonde hair out loose and sleeves rolled up.
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"Taylor wow" Ryan replies.
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"Hey man" Jay says and I take a step back.
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"Thanks for inviting us" I say smiling at Ryan.
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Ryan eyes my dress once more and Jay smirks. We head to the kitchen to grab some alcohol I follow him and he grabs my hand as we're walking through all of the people.
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"So" he winks at me when I'm sitting on top of the table, my slit in my dress revealing my whole leg and then some.
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"What would you like? We have brandy, vodka, Malibu rum, absinthe oh and even pimms" he laughs.
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I smile and he walks over to me.
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"Don't look at me and bite your lips otherwise I'll get distracted and you'll never get a drink" he says softly.
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He cups my face and kisses me, one moment after another and his hands are all over me his tongue exploring my mouth. He pulls away from me at the sound of people entering the kitchen. I smirk as he returns to the alcohol whispering the word 'later' to me.
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"Can you make me sex on the beach?" I ask him.
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"Say no more" he replies and gets to work his sleeves rolled up.
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"Well if it isn't" a familiar voice says. I pull my eyes away from Jay to see her. Her long dark hair and olive skin, wearing a red dress that looks perfect on her. I don't say a thing, I stand instantly and hug her. She holds me back and I'm sure we both cry a little.
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"Hey man" I hear Malachi say. And I remember why I liked him so much. He's accepting, he's open and he talks to everybody. He treats Jay like an old friend and they begin chatting.
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"One sex on the beach, what are you having ?" Jay asks Rhea and she smiles graciously.
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"Oh same please, thanks Jay" she says and he smiles.
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"I haven't seen you in ages, your hair is so so long and you look so wow. Taylor I missed you" she begins gushing.
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"Me too, I missed you." I stumble over my words.
"We ugh have been busy, I moved in with Jay and university and everything how's everything for you two" I ask smiling.
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"Wow. You'll have to invite us over to your place" she says smiling and winking at Jay.
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"Sounds like a plan" he smiles.
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"To be fair we have been keeping to ourselves a fair bit. Chi has been working and uni is tough but yeah definitely let's hang out and have a few drinks too" she laughs.
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Jay hands her the cocktail and she smiles.
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"Oof" she laughs
"That's great. Wow. Taylor he's a keeper" she smiles.
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"Who's a keeper" Rach bursts in.
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"Hey Rach, cocktail?" I say and she looks pleased.
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Jay and I make up a pitcher of cocktails, I'm more of a hinderance. But he works with me occasionally kissing me or touching me as we make them. Once they're done I carry a pitcher and Rach gets the next one and we take it out to Ryan's main room.
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I place it on the side table and leave it there, Rhea pulls my arm slightly and whispers to me.
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"Yes, he's different. Completely, utterly transformed. What did you do to him?" She laughs.
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"Honestly I'm not sure but I love him" I say.
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"He's in love with you" she smiles.
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"Oh incoming" she sighs looking up. I follow her eyeline and see Matty and Ross approaching us. I look for Jay and realise he's just behind me talking to another guy I don't recognise. I feel for his hand and he strokes my back and I smile.
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"Tay" Ross smiles and I hug him.
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"Quite a look" he says glancing at my dress after I let go of him.
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"You look incredible" he whispers and I thank him.
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He greets Rhea and that leaves me with Matty. The one who loved me, the one who broke my heart in this very house and the one who tells me we are supposed to be together. I sigh looking at him and walk into his open arms.
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"Hey" he says softly in my ear.
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"Hey" I reply his arms tightening around me.
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"You look, fuck Taylor. There are no words" he says and I pull back from him.
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"You look nice" he smiles looking into my eyes. I take a step back, reach for Jay. I feel his familiar touch on my back again and I relax.
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It's not that I don't like Matty, it's not that I love him either. It's the fact that I loved him so much, we had a whole life together, we almost shared a baby and then we didn't. It's that he was my everything and now he is not. He pushes his brunette hair back, a gesture that he does all the time and his green eyes look at me softly.
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"Thanks, how are you ?" I reply.
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"Great. I've finished my prep for my project and I'm sketching. Already" he says and I imagine him intently focusing on his work his hair getting in the way of his eyes like it always would. I have the odd impulse to pull him back into my arms but I suppress it.
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"Wow that was fast, what's your drawing" I ask him interested. We're both artsy people and we share that interest.
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"It's a landscape, seems nondescript" he says
"But it's basically a field" he laughs and I join him.
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"I'm sure you will do that field justice" I say and his eyes meet mine briefly and intently.
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"I'll do my best" he smirks. I remember that expression and I soften. He notices I'm sure, and he watches my lips and then refocuses on my eyes.
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"I brought my guitar" I blurt out, completely unsure why I mentioned it to him. Perhaps I'm picking up behaviours from Justin. I scan the room and see him, he's talking to Brad and he catches my eye and smiles.
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I look at Matty again. His tan skin and the green eyes that I used to look into every morning and every night.
"I haven't heard you play in ages" he says quietly.
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"Remember when we used to just spend like hours in the kitchen." I say and smile.
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"Of course" he says smiling. I drink up and glance away from him.
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"You would do this thing" he smiles looking down at his drink.
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"Like glance over at me every now and then and smile then just carry on singing" he smiles.
"Lord I miss that" he says to himself.
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He looks up at me and I just watch him, for a bizarre minute I think he's going to kiss me. I continue to look at him his eyes, his lips and his angular jaw.
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"I want to dance" Rach says whining in my ear and I jump marginally.
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"I'll dance with you" I say still looking at Matty. She's drunk and she tugs my arm.
"Two secs I need a refill" I tell her.
"I'll see you there" I add. She saunters off drunk.
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“I remember” he begins again but is interrupted by another voice.
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"Who's this then Jay" I hear the voice boom behind me.
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"Matthew" the voice says by way of greeting him. Matty nods and I search his eyes for clues.
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I can already tell who it will be without even turning to look, it will be our team captain Joshua. He's bound to be confident and outgoing. This is his voice; rich and warm with a slight accent that I cannot place.
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I turn to face the new person, I’m standing next to Matty and he casually raises his arm behind my shoulders. I see Jays reaction and smile at him apologetically.
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“Taylor, Josh. Josh, Taylor.” Jay says watching me.
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“Taylor is my girl” he adds after a moment and smiles at him.
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“Josh, nice to meet you” I say. I’m his ‘girl’, oh he is going to pay for that one. Just a girl, not his partner not the love of his life. No just his girl.
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“Taylor you are the most fucking unbelievably stunning girl I have ever seen” Josh says.
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“You have been hiding her” Josh says to Jay without waiting for my reply.
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Jay says nothing. Matty grabs my glass and the pitcher on the side to refill it. I smile at him as he hands it to me.
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“So Josh what do you study, no wait let me guess” I say smiling. He bites onto my bait smiling his huge grin.
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I eye him up slowly, his football jersey, tan skin and muscular build finished off with brunette hair and brown eyes.
“I think that maybe you are… oh it’s a tough one isn’t it” I say watching Rach saunter over to us again.
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“Maybe you study politics, lots of politics majors are unbelievably confident and able to get what they want… no you don’t” I sigh eyeing Jay for a minute. Josh is genuinely entertained.
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“What was I thinking it must be sports” I say giving him what he wants finally. He smiles at me.
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“I like her a lot” he says.
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“I’m here Josh, you don’t have to talk to me through Jay” I laugh and sip my drink.
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“Taylor you are something else, what do you study babe” he asks, wasn’t he doing well until he called me babe?
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“Guess…?” I say.
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“You have a killer body, but you’re not sports I would know” he says. He would know wouldn’t he ? I roll my eyes.
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“You’re clearly smarter than average” he says eyeing Rach who is now standing next to Matty.
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“Ass” she comments and he rubs his chin smiling.
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“You are Taylor, a dance student. And english I think” he comments. Ross turns to listen in.
“It looks like to me you enjoy poetry and words and shit” Josh smiles.
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“Ohhh you were half right.” I say smirking.
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I eye Ross and he laughs.
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“What one was I wrong about?” Josh asks me.
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“English, I don’t take English. Although yes I do read” I say smiling.
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“Not just a pretty face” Josh comments looking sourly at Rach and I feel bad for her, objectifying prick.
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“Is there a problem?” Nate says and I eye him curiously. He is sticking up for her.
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“No babe” Rach says.
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I look down at my drink and wait for the moment to pass before I brush Josh up the wrong way by giving him a talking down.
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“Anyways I came over to ask if you wanted to dance” Rach smiles at me.
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“I do yeah” I tell her smiling.
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She smiles at me genuinely and we head over to the others. I suppress my annoyance at Jay.
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“Asshole that one.” Rach comments as were walking, she’s talking about Josh.
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“Ignore him he’s probably got a really small dick” I laugh and she explodes into laughter.
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